post in this thread and i will ask you a question

[redbreegull]

I'm not sure if you think this kind of thing applies to you, but I often times feel like I have multiple selves which come out in different scenarios. I can get lost on thinking that the real me is the worst one, but the truth is that all these selves, all these different sides I can show in different circumstances are all me. And that means that with work, I can probably be the good, productive versions of myself that people like more often.

Certainly I don't mean to downplay the severity of your problems, but I think the fact that you can come here and be this person (and totally honestly I would never have any clue about the stuff you've been through if you hadn't been open about it) shows that it is in you. It is you.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by reprise85

i ask the questions but i'd say plain pepperoni only because olives are gross.

when did your kids start lying to you? this is a general question, im not saying they're liars or anything - only that kids learn at some point that lying is an option. when was this?

I think both of mine were about five. They lied differently, though.

My older one would lie when he wished the truth was different, whereas the younger one has always lied more thoughtfully, based on what he thinks you will do/think.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I say go ahead an have a pity party, but only if you think you will feel catharsis from it, not if it will make you feel worse.

[teh b0lly!!1]

Originally Posted by Run To Me

Bolls I also wanna explor Devin T. I am in the mood for haunted country and 'gaze. I will also give metal a chance, provided the vox r not 2 aggro

for haunted country, try his Casualties of Cool side project.

for shoegaze-ish, try either Ocean Machine or Terria.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by vixnix

My older one would lie when he wished the truth was different, whereas the younger one has always lied more thoughtfully, based on what he thinks you will do/think.

I wonder if this is a common dynamic with older and younger sibs? I'm a frighteningly good liar when it truly serves me but I've never really been a liar. I feel bad when I lie. My little sister on the other hand was quite a devious machiavellian and actually I suspect she still kind of is.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I'm not sure if you think this kind of thing applies to you, but I often times feel like I have multiple selves which come out in different scenarios. I can get lost on thinking that the real me is the worst one, but the truth is that all these selves, all these different sides I can show in different circumstances are all me. And that means that with work, I can probably be the good, productive versions of myself that people like more often.

Certainly I don't mean to downplay the severity of your problems, but I think the fact that you can come here and be this person (and totally honestly I would never have any clue about the stuff you've been through if you hadn't been open about it) shows that it is in you. It is you.

I know I haven't been as forthcoming with what I'm diagnosed with compared to what happened to cause it but it relates to this multiple selves thing so it's probably OK to share it anyway. Not that I believe it per se but I have been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka multiple personality disorder) which I honestly am very confused about even after all of this time (I have a hard time even believing it is a real thing sometimes, let alone that I have it) but I surely do at least have multiple selves the way most people do, with a large amount of separation in some cases and especially with memory difficulties in some situations. Such as this AMA thread I'm reading, it does sound like me and I know it was like last month basically but I could not have told you jack shit about that thread if I didn't just re-read it. I did remember making it but that's about it

It's not that I think this netphoria persona or whatever I have is not the real me - it totally is the real me. It just doesn't translate as well IRL because I don't have the other essential part of the image which is actually having demonstrable feelings tied to what I'm saying besides in an intellectual way. That's not a problem on the internet because you can't see my lack of affect but IRL I have the intellectual package but not the complementary human part and I do not talk about myself in this open way ever except with my therapist. I cannot both be this honest and transparently emotional person and feel the emotions at the same time, not with any regularity. And other people can tell, it seems. I don't think I seem "weird" but I never get personal so everyone just thinks (rightly) that we aren't "close enough" where we would share intimacy in a meaningful way. Only problem being, there is no one I'm close enough to to do that with. Does that make sense?

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I wonder if this is a common dynamic with older and younger sibs? I'm a frighteningly good liar when it truly serves me but I've never really been a liar. I feel bad when I lie. My little sister on the other hand was quite a devious machiavellian and actually I suspect she still kind of is.

it's my understanding that younger kids learn to lie earlier (because they learn belief-desire theory of mind earlier because it is modeled to them very personally and often by the older sibling(s)).

i was never really machiavellian with lying but i did do it often and would let my (older) sister take shit for things i did that were just stupid in nature and i didnt want to be shamed for them. like once i drew in nail polish all over the computer desk in like multiple layers. never told the truth. stupid shit like that. my sister would kinda beat me up and i'd let my parents think she hurt me more than she really did (excessive crying etc).

i was never truly malevolent i dont think and definitely grew out of the blaming others or letting others take the blame thing. kinda swung to the other end

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

for haunted country, try his Casualties of Cool side project.

for shoegaze-ish, try either Ocean Machine or Terria.

do you think you'll stay in china for a long time?

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by reprise85

i was never really machiavellian with lying but i did do it often and would let my (older) sister take shit for things i did that were just stupid in nature and i didnt want to be shamed for them. like once i drew in nail polish all over the computer desk in like multiple layers. never told the truth. stupid shit like that. my sister would kinda beat me up and i'd let my parents think she hurt me more than she really did (excessive crying etc).

when I was about 6 and my sister was 4, my mom was teaching her to read and write. One day, her name appeared scrawled in pencil on the dining room wall. My mom was furious and gave my sister an ear-full about how we only write on paper, never on walls etc. Then she told my sister to erase it off the wall carefully. A few minutes later she went back to check on her progress, and my sister, instead of erasing her name, had changed it to my name and then insisted I was the one who had written it.

that's pretty much my relationship with my sister

[reprise85]

she sounds like an amateur lol

but nah i never blamed my sister for anything just wouldnt tell on myself and never really like broke things on purpose i just sometimes did strange shit. this seemed like a big deal but it was probably less than 5 times total. i basically avoided my sister as much as possible

[cork_soaker]

Originally Posted by cork_soaker

please consider this post my post

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

turdlion.

I read this while on the shitter, laughed and then subsequently made a splatter. Thanks for the assist.

[FlamingGlobes]

Oh shit, oops. I posted. Please don't ask me a smart question.

[redbreegull]

she sounds like an amateur lol

but nah i never blamed my sister for anything just wouldnt tell on myself and never really like broke things on purpose i just sometimes did strange shit. this seemed like a big deal but it was probably less than 5 times total. i basically avoided my sister as much as possible

as we got older I took a lot of heat from my parents because my sister would incessantly harass me until I snapped, and then they (especially my dad) would rush to her defense. I was always expected to be a lot more mature even though there is only a 2 year age difference.

When we got a bit older than that, I started to become horrified/disgusted with her ability to lie to and manipulate people, especially adults (our parents, teachers, etc.) When she entered high school I was already in 11th grade, and it didn't take long for people to start approaching ME over shit my sister had done or said. She was a pretty shitty little manipulative liar and just kind of a terrible person during that time. My parents just maintained their total denial/obliviousness to her problems though and then she grew up to be a really fucked up individual for awhile. Fortunately she is finally calming down a bit and learning the error of her ways I think...

I think I told the story about her getting me locked in the counselors office on suicide watch because of a sprawling lie she told about my father beating us up (the truth was he pried her cell phone he paid for out of her hand and she was a 14-year-old brat). But recently she brought up this story and said something about my dad beating her up that night. I was like but I didn't know what to say because apparently her lie has become an actual memory.

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

1. FlamingGlobes brings the lols on the reg. I've had to spread some rep to show him the appreciation he deserves. I thought he was an old poster but I think he said he's actually pretty recent?

Yeah, I promise I'm new. I only started lurking here sporadically after the O-Board went tits up and finally decided to start posting this year/late last year (I can't remember and am too lazy to look at my stats). I dunno, I just like the lax, easy vibe of it all. You're a generally cool lot.

Also, thanks.

[redbreegull]

just keep bringing the lols and you will be right at home. if you stop being funny I can't vouch for your safety

[FlamingGlobes]

That's way too much pressure, man. I'm afraid I'll byrne out.

[redbreegull]

[redbreegull]

guy looks like someone I don't like but I can never put my finger on it

[FlamingGlobes]

He looks like a Baby Genius

[FlamingGlobes]

[FlamingGlobes]

Huh huh. Test tube baby, I GET IT!

[teh b0lly!!1]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

guy looks like someone I don't like but I can never put my finger on it

scotty

[teh b0lly!!1]

[redbreegull]

haha I actually chortled out loud

[FlamingGlobes]

Sick byrne, bruh

[teh b0lly!!1]

ooh the years byrne

[TuralyonW3]

Originally Posted by reprise85

I've seen the big lebowski and dazed and confused. both overrated in my opinion, though i found dazed and confused to be not good at all and lebowski to be good but not legendary. im a pleb, clearly.

Revised list:

Mulholland Drive
It's a Wonderful Life
Vertigo
The Night of the Hunter
Children of Men

What didn't you like about Dazed, out of curiosity? Not the kind of people you want to chill with for 90 minutes?

[FlamingGlobes]

Oh man, reprise is gonna owe us so many questions when she gets back.

[TuralyonW3]

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes

I read this while on the shitter, laughed and then subsequently made a splatter. Thanks for the assist.

Glad to be of service