Josh Duggar molested some kids

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by Starla

You're making excuses for spanking ...

I just don't think it's fair for you to say that one child = easier parenting, and that people with one child don't get it... or understand, and shouldn't have a say on parenting.

It is easier, in terms of discipline. It's harder in other ways, and I think you worry a lot more, because you haven't been forced by your circumstances to make a trillion stupid mistakes to the point where you know you have fucked your children up already and it's just a matter of damage control and hoping for the best, now.

And single parenthood is harder, definitely...for a lot of reasons.

But just in terms of dealing with inappropriate or undesirable behaviour, raising a single child, is completely different to raising multiple children. Unless you have raised a person's children, in that person's circumstances, I don't think it's right to judge the use of smacking/spanking. More than that...beating, etc. that's straightforward. But for the most part, the mothers I know who smack, are not beating their children. My mum didn't beat us and wasn't trying to damage our bodies in any way. She was trying to creative a negative consequence to prevent us from doing stupid and naughty shit, because she had three kids in five years and had find a way to be the one in charge, when we left the house together.

[Trotskilicious]

vixnix you are a cunt

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by Starla

Why are you assuming that because I have one child I've never encountered dealing with more than one child at a time, or ever in a situation that you describe?

I don't, but equating that to parenting multiple children, full time, is like somebody saying that they know enough about parenting to comment on parenthood, because they look after their nieces and nephews from time to time. Anybody could do something intermittently - raising children constantly 24/7, for years (decades!), with ALL of the associated tasks, week in, week out... is a completely different task.

[Trotskilicious]

it's an extreme word but i feel it fits you

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

vixnix you are a cunt

I don't get what your problem could possibly be in this situation except thinking that I am a bitch for spoiling the celebration party that D. and Starla made for themselves and everybody joined in on, by pointing out that when you have only one child to raise, disciplining them without the use of physical force is much easier than it is for parents with multiple children.

[Starla]

I'm not saying you face difficulties in raising multiple children, I'm saying you make excuses for hitting your children. There are plenty of parents who have more than one child and do not hit. Yes I do judge spanking because it's abusive. I'm sorry if that has upset you. Aside from this, I do know what it's like to have more than one child at a time... for long periods of time.

I'm no where near a perfect mom... that's for sure. I continue learning from my mistakes and keep trying to do better.

[vixnix]

So it's good that you guys have, it's wonderful. Don't get me wrong on that. it's definitely the ideal way to discipline a child - without force. And there are lots of families with multiple children (5, 6, 7) who don't discipline with physical force.

But that doesn't mean, that parents with multiple children, who have resorted to using it, could have avoided it as easily as parents with single children. That just isn't the case.

[Starla]

Originally Posted by vixnix

I don't get what your problem could possibly be in this situation except thinking that I am a bitch for spoiling the celebration party that D. and Starla made for themselves and everybody joined in on, by pointing out that when you have only one child to raise, disciplining them without the use of physical force is much easier than it is for parents with multiple children.

Celebration party, what?

If what D and i say about parenting makes you feel bad... maybe you should figure out why. I'm not judging you personally.

Actually, there have been times in the past where hauling off and hitting A would have been quicker and easier than sitting her down and discussing her behavior with her. Just because I don't have another kid running around doesn't make it less tedious.

[vixnix]

I don't know if I feel judged. I haven't often spanked, and I know that there were better ways to handle that situation and that I failed to figure out what they were, at that time. I don't think it has been good for my kids or my relationship with them. But I am ok with being human and making a lot of mistakes because I don't have a lot of choice in the matter, I gotta get up again tomorrow and do it all over again so there's not much point beating myself up about it.

But I guess the judgment goes both ways - you are judging parents for using physical force to discipline their children - parents of more than one child judge you, as a parent of one child, when you say that...with rolled eyes. Because it's basically like a non-parent saying it. When I was pregnant with my second, an older woman said to me "Oh well, you're not really a mother until you have two." That judgment is there, too, you know?

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Elphenor

I got whipped as a child but I also got punched in the face and my brother got his arm broken

dude im sorry

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by vixnix

I don't know if I feel judged. I haven't often spanked, and I know that there were better ways to handle that situation and that I failed to figure out what they were, at that time. I don't think it has been good for my kids or my relationship with them. But I am ok with being human and making a lot of mistakes because I don't have a lot of choice in the matter, I gotta get up again tomorrow and do it all over again so there's not much point beating myself up about it.

But I guess the judgment goes both ways - you are judging parents for using physical force to discipline their children - parents of more than one child judge you, as a parent of one child, when you say that...with rolled eyes. Because it's basically like a non-parent saying it. When I was pregnant with my second, an older woman said to me "Oh well, you're not really a mother until you have two." That judgment is there, too, you know?

Look I don't know if you realize it but Starla has had two children and I think you continually harping on her only knowing what it's like to have one is inappropriate. But I don't think you know her circumstances so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt in telling you that you don't know the entirety of what Starla's parenting life has been like.

[pavementtune]

oh vixnix knows circumstances alright, she just loves to "forget" them, whatever goes with her spree of dishing out shit. "I'm jealous of Luke because you live so well where I can't afford to live." etc. pp

Originally Posted by vixnix

Pffft, I miscarried at 17.

Get over it. Most pregnancies end in miscarriage.

Maybe if you weren't so vain and didn't put so much importance on fitting into small Berlin designer dresses, and stopped using a vaginal douche to hose out your insides every single day, you could keep one in there.

But I'd hurry up, because you are 30 now.

and apparently all that is good and fine but fuzzy needs a muting for shitting in a dead metal thread.

[vixnix]

Oh no, I didn't realise that...though...if they are far enough apart in age that the older one no longer lives with her & the younger one...for the purpose of discipline they're more like two singletons anyway.

[reprise85]

holy shit i missed that post...

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

oh vixnix knows circumstances alright, she just loves to "forget" them, whatever goes with her spree of dishing out shit. "I'm jealous of Luke because you live so well where I can't afford to live." etc. pp

and apparently all that is good and fine but fuzzy needs a muting for shitting in a dead metal thread.

Yeah 'cause you didn't try to belittle me first by telling me I was crazy and needed to go take my meds. Nice try, pavement.

[reprise85]

oh god this thread

[vixnix]

yeah pavement comes in out of the blue to dredge up a fight she started. it's bleak.

[pavementtune]

you really believe you are so totally justified in the stuff you post here - for weeks now, aren't you.

because you are mentally ill and feel so so bad and that gives you the right to spew whatever you want to others, it's just online, right.

you must be a great "church family worker", indeed. how ironic. maybe focus on getting better yourself, for a change.

and I did not start any fight - I'm done with you.
But I saw the shit you dished out left and right for a while now - right now towards Starla.
It's not okay and you know it, so how about you stop.

[vixnix]

Apparently:

Children in Nepal living in refugee camps are "lucky" because the earthquake didn't kill them, at least.

But children who grow up gay in Austria, despite having electricity, free public education and healthcare, paved roads, their own clean beds, hot running water, etc. need all expenses paid vacations to deal with their problems.

But you know. Those lucky, lucky Nepalese children.

[dreams of glass]

what is going on

[vixnix]

That's not a double standard, you guise. That's just me needing to take my medication because I'm crazy.

[vixnix]

Starla and D are happy to judge other parents for spanking their kids, I'm pretty sure they can handle a little judgment coming back the other way, which is all I'm doing.

[pavementtune]

you really are so deluded it's not even funny any more.
you do realize your memory of that conversation is nowhere near reality?

and nothing in that conversation justified to telling me to "pfft get over" having an unborn 5 months old child cut out of me a year ago.
NOTHING.

thing is, mentally ill and all - doesn't give you a free pass for everything.
you get off on being a vile cunt. good luck with that.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by vixnix

But children who grow up gay in Austria, despite having electricity, free public education and healthcare, paved roads, their own clean beds, hot running water, etc. need all expenses paid vacations to deal with their problems.

the fuck are you even talking about

[vixnix]

Surely that's not a miscarriage - that's a still birth - especially if your baby was cut out of you.

There isn't anything to say about that except that I'm sorry. I miscarried at 10 weeks when I was 17, but I didn't need surgery to remove anything.

If that's true then I am truly sorry for what I said. I didn't picture a 5 month old fetus when you said miscarriage and if I had known you'd had a 5 month old fetus removed surgically I wouldn't have said any of that. Many pregnancies before 12 weeks end in miscarriage. It's a much fewer number that need to be ended surgically that late in the pregnancy.

Having a baby surgically removed at 20 weeks more often happens voluntarily after the morphology scan at 18 weeks gestation reveals congenital defects.

[pavementtune]

nm.

oh so if it had been another miscarriage - like the others I had since then, prior week 12 - you would be cool with having said that?

and turning the metabolic disorder I was born with - the reason why I'm always slim - in me being vain and trying to fit in designer dresses therefor blaming me to failing to "keep one in there"?

good to know where you draw the line.

also nice how you fitted it in there that surely it must have been my choice because that fetus was surely "defect" - nice going, vix. maybe instead of going with whatever shit your mind comes up with and giving your conclusions and evaluations - no matter about what, raising one child as a single mom being one - shut up once in a while.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by reprise85

the fuck are you even talking about

it doesn't matter. She was being a bitch to me, which she often is because we don't get along and she doesn't like anything about me, at all.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by vixnix

Starla and D are happy to judge other parents for spanking their kids, I'm pretty sure they can handle a little judgment coming back the other way, which is all I'm doing.

their judgement is like 'violence is bad for children' which you know there are studies on and just is common sense, you're not even really saying it's not true, just that you feel like you had to do it anyway

and your judgement is like 'you don't really know what it's like you're not even a REAL parent with only one kid'

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

and twisted and turned recap of something she read while in tinychat - of my own family - and feels fine to post it on the board.

she likes to shame me for trying to get my nephew on a school year abroad, since he got beaten to hospital and tried to kill himself last year - for being the weird faggot in some forsaken countryside shithole.

I should totally feel ashamed for "spoiling" that kid.
how about you go first vix - with preparing to pay for your kids' therapy for the rest of their life - they have electricity, how dare you!

I don't look at photos of kids in Nepalese refugee camps and say that they're lucky, though. And then vehemently defend that stance, as if it is somehow defensible in light of the contrast between their lives and ours.

[hnibos]

And I was just wondering why vix doesn't show up in tiny chat anymore