do you guys ever think about how everyone you know will get old with you

[Rider]

Originally Posted by slunken

he is just saying that 90s music to kids today is like 50s and 60s music to us when we were kids, chronologically.


if you really want to nitpick it, i think the internet has created more of a buffer to lessen that gap than anything

The other thing and this really bugs me is music and culture has not really progressed at all since we were kids.

I think of my grandfather sitting down and seeing The Doors on Sullivan and how that must have just been crazy to him.

I turn on TV and see people doing the same crap Madonna did in the 80's and pretending it's cutting edge and controversial. OMG did you see what Myley did.

It's all just the same music and culture polished in a slightly different way.

I should turn on the radio and be freaked out by it, not turn it on and it be bored by how pedestrian it is and it's all the same shit from the past 50-60 years.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by vixnix

That's not a given - lots of kids are not independent by then - I wasn't, reprise wasn't, trots probably wasn't...

I'm giving my kids access to mental health care because nobody encouraged me to look after myself that way and I think it's essential.

For the most part I know there's nothing I can do - even now, there's very little I can do. My 9 year old is taller than some of my friends and wears men's size 9 shoes. I can't exactly send him to his room. If he doesn't want to go, he just stands there and there's nothing I can do about it except hit him. And I saw how that backfired with my little brother, so instead I try to talk things through with him and get him to understand how it affects our whole family when he is disrespectful to one of us. I tell him all the ways I structure my life around him and his brother and how I do that because I love them both so much and I ask him to have a think about how he has behaved and come to say sorry when he is ready.

My kids don't have a lot of reason to rebel because I devote a lot of my time to helping them problem solve when they want or need things that I can't provide or don't approve of (stuff like having an Xbox and playing first person shooter games, or high-sugar breakfast foods for instance)

So I hopefully won't be faced with hard choices when they are 21. But there are things that are completely unacceptable to me, and dating teenagers when you're 21, and using somebody else's money to by your illegal drugs, are two of them.

I understand your 9 year old is a big person physically, but it is troubling that he doesn't do what you ask, don't you think? Obviously you shouldn't hit him, and it's good to have him have an independent mind. You know what, I retract this entire paragraph, good for you for talking to him.

[reprise85]

Also, I was independent at age 15 and then became dependent again at 19. Not that it changes anything, I guess. Plus I didn't listen to my parents and moved away at that point. So I guess in that respect, having to talking to your kid about going to his room is a different.

[The exploding boy]

One thing is for sure about raising kids, whatever thing your parents did wrong in raising you, you'll do the opposite and fuck your kids up too but just in a different way than your parents fucked you up. That's the way it goes. Most parents fail, just not in the same way their own parents did.

[vixnix]

That's pretty true and it's one of the reasons I assume my kids will have a regular psychiatrist by the time they're 21.

[Trotskilicious]

you should send ppl to that if they arent sick you fuckin chinook

[reprise85]

yeah, im pretty sure if i ever have kids i wont let them run off with a psychopath three weeks after they turn 15

that's actually only kinda the icing on the cake though, even though i never talk about it. that's not the best analogy... it's just the last thing they did wrong out of a long line, is what im trying to say

[Trotskilicious]

i realize chinook is not only the biggest helicopter but also a tribe of native mericans so i will never use it as an insult again

[The exploding boy]

You could call her Sikorsky.

[The exploding boy]

hmm...wiki just taught me he didn't invent the helicopter. i always thought he had for some reason. But he came up with the first mass produced and practical one.

[Trotskilicious]

its like i thought calling nba draft busts Darkos for abt 30 seconds

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by The exploding boy

hmm...wiki just taught me he didn't invent the helicopter. i always thought he had for some reason. But he came up with the first mass produced and practical one.

indv cerdit for inventing stuff is messy and usually gained thru marketing

[killtrocity]

I was surprised to learn that William Shatner is 83

Keanu Reeves does not age


pretty much everyone else has changed substantially in 20 years

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by killtrocity

Keanu Reeves does not age

he's a gorgeous man. and has been since before he was how old he looks now.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

you should send ppl to that if they arent sick you fuckin chinook

Is this at me? I don't understand... Was there a typo? Did you mean I shouldn't send people to shrinks if they're not sick?

I agree with that - though I don't think you have to be sick to benefit from seeing a psychologist, so to be clear, I assume they'll have a psychologist by then. Lord knows I still will, and I'm their primary caregiver so...they'll probably need some help too.

[Trotskilicious]

you're basically just doing what critics of mental illness say people do and fuck you for doing it

if they aren't sick they shouldn't be seeing a therapist

[ilikeplanets]

They're not exactly free either, to go for funsies

[Starla]

Originally Posted by vixnix

I see my kids getting older and that makes me cry

Yeah. A. is almost as tall as I am. She loves to get up in my face and stand on her tip toes and laugh about how she will tower over me.

[Starla]

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand

Because you know they will leave you in an old folks home to die in a urine soaked bed.

I've kept that in mind, all of these years lol

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

you're basically just doing what critics of mental illness say people do and fuck you for doing it

if they aren't sick they shouldn't be seeing a therapist

I dunno, it seems better to have twice yearly checkups with most health professionals than wait until you're sick. I pay for them to get checked up at the Dr.'s, the dentist's & the optometrist...by the time they're old enough to have stuff on their mind but value their privacy, why not a twice yearly psychologist's appointment to stay on too of unhelpful thought patterns or compulsions or low self esteem, etc.? It means we don't wait until they've blown a year of high school and burned through a few friendships and altered their brain chemistry with illegal drugs.

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

They're not exactly free either, to go for funsies

No but nothing is free, with kids...we are earning more now than we ever have before but we have less in our pockets than we ever have... Kids are pretty expensive to keep...

[LaBelle]

I don't ever want to have kids, ugh.

[Sonic Johnny]

Originally Posted by vixnix

why not a twice yearly psychologist's appointment to stay on too of unhelpful thought patterns or compulsions or low self esteem, etc.? It means we don't wait until they've blown a year of high school and burned through a few friendships and altered their brain chemistry with illegal drugs.

oh yeah if there's a problem that a psychologist can help with, 2 non-consecutive hours a year oughta clear that right up

[Sonic Johnny]

also "illegal drugs" lol

[vixnix]

A check up doesn't usually fix things - it just brings things to light...you don't go for a check up and get a root canal in the same appointment. It's the same with psychotherapy...if they had stuff to work out it would take 5-6 sessions at least.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by Sonic Johnny

also "illegal drugs" lol

You know what I mean!

[Eulogy]

Not sure why everyone is jumping on vixnix about this. I guess there's a chance her kids could develop some complex but I think the odds are better that they could use therapy. And everyone criticizing her is childless. Something to think about.

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by LaBelle

I don't ever want to have kids, ugh.

Also this.

[Rairun]

Yeah, no kids for me either. The one cool thing about turning 30 is that people start taking you more seriously when you say that. When you're in your 20s, everyone just says you're going to change your mind.

I have a knee-jerky reaction to anything I might perceive as too controlling - I've seen far more kids scarred by controlling parents than permissive ones. I also remember what being a teenager felt like, and I know I'd have been worse off if my parents had tried to meddle. That being said, I might be biased because of what basically amounted to middle class privilege + social segregation. There was no "bad crowd" to hang out with, at least not in the classical sense.

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by vixnix

I dunno, it seems better to have twice yearly checkups with most health professionals than wait until you're sick. I pay for them to get checked up at the Dr.'s, the dentist's & the optometrist...by the time they're old enough to have stuff on their mind but value their privacy, why not a twice yearly psychologist's appointment to stay on too of unhelpful thought patterns or compulsions or low self esteem, etc.? It means we don't wait until they've blown a year of high school and burned through a few friendships and altered their brain chemistry with illegal drugs.

that doesn't even make any sense

[vixnix]

Not in your country, where the healthcare system is a piece of crap! :P