Chelsea Handler thread

[sppunk]

No one here cares what you do with your asshole.

[Lucky Day Spa]

it's a sad time we live in when a dispassionate monologue about anal bleaching is considered a pre-coital turn-off

[Lucky Day Spa]

personally, when i want to set the mood i like to read aloud passages from milton friedman's "capitalism and freedom"

[sppunk]

I often read my stock portfolio aloud while sipping Drambuie.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by vixnix

50 shades of grey is completely disempowering IMO, it's the exact opposite of Chelsea Handler. Chelsea Handler's whole thing is that women don't have to be afraid of allowing themselves to be as crass in public as they are in private.

50 Shades of Grey is pure fantasy - it's basically twilight and American psycho rewritten for the chick lit audience. It's about how much a man can abuse a woman before we say that the relationship has no redeeming features.

Women dream of those relationships because they dream of being desired by men and they're aware of men wanting women who are submissive and inexperienced, which very few women are, by adulthood. So they seek out those experiences in fantasy.

Chelsea Handler is the opposite. She says hey the real world is not so bad. She's like, you've had your pussy all banged and stretched out of shape and your asshole's taken too many hits to count, as well. You think men are a bunch of insecure twats but you love the feel of a cock inside you after you've thrown back too many tequilas. Have you thought of bleaching your asshole, actually? I heard that gays do it.

That's a real conversation for real women. As opposed to a contrived conversation for women who don't want to admit how many thousands of times different male organs have dug the tunnel in their love canals.

Though of course....men hate it. Because as soon as we start talking about how we want our pussies to look and how often we'd like them to be fucked, and who exactly we'd like to be fucking them, men get all freaked out and limp. The male erection is inextricably linked to his ego - you gotta stroke the ego for the erection to follow. The whole thing is just so pathetic and idiotic, and women all know it, but if we say anything, we lose the erections so we stay quiet. Well... In front of the men, anyway.

Some men are so horny they can handle it and are just overjoyed to have more sex in their lives, whether it's sex talk or actual sex - pretty sure ilp knows a few of those....


There's lots to say about anal bleaching. Cost, desired hue, methods, where you can have it done, the level of training you should expect from the beauty therapist, who has had it done and are they happy with it....

this is great

[Trotskilicious]

why would you bleach your anus

[The exploding boy]

While i agree that women shouldn't be shamed for talking about sex or their organs or what not i think the whole male erection bit is a lot of extrapolation based on your own biased experience. Since when are men not supposed to like hearing women talk about sex? Based on porn alone i'd hazard most men DO want to hear about how much you want a dick in you...apparently.

I don't know but i know that there is pretty much nothing i have not talked about with my gf, sexually, biologically, psychologically. I should probably even add scatologically because there sure isn't one thing we haven't openly shared with one another in terms of bodily functions.... There are some things however that i don't think are right to be discussed in public (unless there is a clear consensus that the conversation should be heading this way). It's not so much about shaming then about... things still being probably better left private There's a place for it. I don't want to have to start hearing about everyone's sex lives, or anuses, casually at like some dinner. That goes for either sex.

I object to chelsea handler because i think she's yet another extmely annoying unfunny comedian and that her purpose is not empowerment anyway but just sheer exhibitionism which is something i loathe in everyone man or woman. Or rather anyway, i don't want to be made part of it. Unsurprising she would be so popular in this day and age though. It's the age of exhibitionism.

I really wonder how much of an empowering thing it is to have your anus bleached anyway..why is someone having it done? so it looks all nice for your partner? because personally, since your sexual partner is probably the only person who will get to see it (well and doctors i suppose), i think this is the only reason behind it. So its about being as appealing as possible to your partner, which i'm not sure is empowering. I guess maybe you get to feel better about your asshole... In this way its empowering because you get to feel more confident about how fresh and nice and white your anus looks! its like bleaching your teeth. I never allowed myself to open my ass wide when i ws in public before, i always would hide it behind my hand, but now i feel confident to. It's one more thing to make women feel insecure about. Oh dear. is my anus white enough!?

There's enough fucking things out there meant to competely shatter a young girls confidence by the time she's like 14. do we need to start teaching girls that on top of having a nice ass, tits, and boobs and long enough legs and a flat enough stomach and a nice enough looking vulva that they should ALSO worry about how nice their asshole looks?

I think anus bleaching is physical aesthetics obsession gone way way way too fucking far. Its a sign of how sharply downhill western culture is headed.

[pavementtune]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

why would you bleach your anus

not so different from intimate hair removal.

and if you work in.... say porn photography/video or sex services - I'd guess plenty do it.
an anus doesn't look as nice close-up as it does in the average anal porn clip.


did you guys really want an answer? it was a "pull a Chelsea" trap, wasn't it.

Originally Posted by The exploding boy

Its a sign of how sharply downhill western culture is headed.

please. it's simply a cream you apply to lighten the skin a bit. skin lightening or darkening with whatever tinctures is done all over the world.
not specifically in that area, but still.

[Lucky Day Spa]

people do this private thing i don't care for, civilisation is OVER

[pavementtune]

sorry vix, wasn't my intention to reduce that woman you apparently find entertaining to anus bleaching nonsense.

I haven't read anything by her, so I don't get it:

how does a book called "my horizontal life" hit the nyt bestseller list?
why do people want to read it, let alone how do you get anything out of reading it?
is she such a good writer that this is actually funny to read?

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

not so different from intimate hair removal.

and if you work in.... say porn photography/video or sex services - I'd guess plenty do it.
an anus doesn't look as nice close-up as it does in the average anal porn clip.


did you guys really want an answer? it was a "pull a Chelsea" trap, wasn't it.


please. it's simply a cream you apply to lighten the skin a bit. skin lightening or darkening with whatever tinctures is done all over the world.
not specifically in that area, but still.

I thought you actually applied some kind of painful bleach treatment to it. I guess some cream isn't so bad. Still it's like crazy that that product exists but shit

[yo soy el mejor]

that pic is retarded on that book cover

[The exploding boy]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

please. it's simply a cream you apply to lighten the skin a bit. skin lightening or darkening with whatever tinctures is done all over the world.
not specifically in that area, but still.

I still don see why people should care what their anus looks like. I guess for porn it makes sense because its gonna get some close ups but i mean fuck, you shit from it, it was never supposed to look that aesthetically pleasing. It really shouldn't matter.


¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯

I still think it's a sign things have gone way wrong somewhere. First world problems infuckingdeed. But maybe my inner hippie is showing.

[reprise85]

nah it's pretty ridiculous

[pavementtune]

if your daily sex life includes positions where your ass is facing your parnter - I don't think it's any more ridiculous than getting a brazilian wax.

but down the line I find the entire topic boring - who cares what people do with their genitals unless it involves mutilation?

what I find goes more in the direction of something gone wrong is for example India being flooded by skin lightening products. that's a bit more serious than the shade of your asshole.

[The exploding boy]

well to be fair they WERE born with the wrong skin color

[vixnix]

Her brother died when she was 11 and she had an abortion at 16. She's one of those unfortunate people whose like was fucked up beyond repair before it even began.

Whatever she says is a report from the frontlines of how to convince yourself to keep living when killing yourself seems like an excellent idea, and how to scrape whatever happiness is available to you from the bottom of a used up dirty barrel. I like her a lot because of that. I think, yeah, Chelsea Handler knows about how utterly shit like can really be, I'm gonna give that lady a chance.

She's clever, she's fucked up, she's open about it, and no she's not always (or even often) funny. But I do find her very interesting.

I wondered if anyone else did.

As usual that's an o-nay for the ix-vay. C'est la vie!

[The exploding boy]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

if your daily sex life includes positions where your ass is facing your parnter

dear me. what crazy positions are these? I cant possibly imagine...

[pavementtune]

Originally Posted by The exploding boy

well to be fair they WERE born with the wrong skin color

that's what my anus said.


but really, this stuff is sad. and scary.

[fuzzyroes]

Whatever people desire, there will be a product for. I don't see why skin-lightening cream is any more disturbing than the mass plastic surgery epidemic that's swept the nation.

[fuzzyroes]

It's all about earning the green, and if people desire something there'll always be fat-cats there to satisfy the need.

[fuzzyroes]

Originally Posted by Lucky Day Spa

how many books of any kind have you read

serious question

I read on average about a book every 2 weeks. Sometimes I'll go a few months without reading a book and then end up reading a book a week. It really depends on what's out there and how eager I am to read it and how much I enjoy reading it.

Like if I pick up a book and I started reading it and I'm fascinated by it - I won't be able to put it down. Those kinda books I read in like 3-4 days.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by vixnix

Her brother died when she was 11 and she had an abortion at 16. She's one of those unfortunate people whose like was fucked up beyond repair before it even began.

Whatever she says is a report from the frontlines of how to convince yourself to keep living when killing yourself seems like an excellent idea, and how to scrape whatever happiness is available to you from the bottom of a used up dirty barrel. I like her a lot because of that. I think, yeah, Chelsea Handler knows about how utterly shit like can really be, I'm gonna give that lady a chance.

She's clever, she's fucked up, she's open about it, and no she's not always (or even often) funny. But I do find her very interesting.

I wondered if anyone else did.

As usual that's an o-nay for the ix-vay. C'est la vie!

im going to watch her special just for you and report back. might not be until tomorrow night, we'll see if i can stay awake for the whole thing. already took sleep meds.

[Lucky Day Spa]

Originally Posted by reprise85

im going to watch her special … we'll see if i can stay awake for the whole thing. already took sleep meds.

that's hardly playing fair

[reprise85]

they arent super knock out meds. well they are but i am tolerant. i can stay up.

so far it's alright. i mean its a bunch of racist and sexist jokes but i mean, im kinda amused? only a few mins in

[Trotskilicious]

ultimately i think what i learned most from feminism is to shut up and let women talk about other women and how they feel about what they bring to womankind

but yah i don't like her either

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

but down the line I find the entire topic boring - who cares what people do with their genitals unless it involves mutilation?

pretty sure western liberalism is okay with it so long as it's "your choice"

[Trotskilicious]

but we should all know by now that choice is a delusion

[Trotskilicious]

which paradoxically renders the whole point moot so yeah do whatever you're going to anyway

[Trotskilicious]

man that makeup i didn't even know is that in england?