Chelsea Handler thread

[ilikeplanets]

SHUT UP BITCH TITS

[ilikeplanets]

See what she's given us here

[pavementtune]

"bitch tits" sounds lovely, but I've known that term from bodybuilding, man boobs and such. don't think she came up with that

[yo soy el mejor]

bitch tits was used in my high school. it was a dope school.

[Sonic Johnny]

I don't know who this person is but viz thinks she's funny so he's probably godawful.

[vixnix]

It's not empowering that she talks about anal bleaching, specifically.

But as a woman, for another woman to show such open disregard for the traditionally deemed 'woman's realm' of attracting a mate with her beauty and virtue, and having a family where she gives continually and selflessly to others, is empowering for me.

Women in my social circles would never talk about anal bleaching in male company because it would make the men uncomfortable. We talk about all that stuff amongst ourselves though, constantly. She just kind of bridges the gap between actual women's conversations, and men's perceptions of what women are like.

[slunken]

is this the same person as chelsea lately

wait are they the same person

[Rider]

Originally Posted by slunken

is this the same person as chelsea lately

wait are they the same person

Yeah her show got canceled so to get attention she flashes her tits on Twitter now.

[Rider]

Which apparently combined with anal bleching jokes empowers woman because woman don't feel comfortable around men.

Kind of amazing the convolutions in logic some people go through on here.

[slunken]

Originally Posted by Rider

Yeah her show got canceled so to get attention she flashes her tits on Twitter now.

i saw approx 5 minutes of the show once a handful of years back in some girls bed. i always thought her name was chelsea lately.

[slunken]

i didn't understand it then and i don't now

[Lucky Day Spa]

Originally Posted by Rider

Kind of amazing the convolutions in logic some people go through on here.

i don't think vixnix is saying anything controversial here

it's not like she's saying this person is funny

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by The exploding boy

That's not what its about at all. I'd think it equally gross if a guy's comedy shtick was all about how he fucks women all the time. I don't care that she fucks men, in this day and age that doesn't unsettle me. I care that her whole comedy routine is about how she fucks men without anything clever to say about it.

its raaaaaaaandy and here's my impression of gettin my DICK sucked at a MOVIE THEATER, "this popcorn is good you want s--WOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

[slunken]

oh no randy shit just got real *scratch scratch*

[Trotskilicious]

basically i think chelsea is a bit more clever but still ultimately aziz ansari's completely unfunny sex joke character raaaaaaaandy

[Trotskilicious]

sooooo many funny women out there why settle for handler?

maria bamford is one of my faves

[killtrocity]

back in some girl's bed

[The exploding boy]

Originally Posted by vixnix

Women in my social circles would never talk about anal bleaching in male company because it would make the men uncomfortable. We talk about all that stuff amongst ourselves though, constantly.

There's no real talk to have about it except then to go "well, that is retarded" and move on to another subject.


And maybe the men you know. But then i guess you did say your social circles. Which i understand to be suburban.

[Lucky Day Spa]

just because You Personally wouldn't have a problem with something, doesn't mean others aren't censoring themselves around you due to your other characteristics (personality, gender, etc.)

sometimes it's safer to do that than to test the water

[Trotskilicious]

Yeah p much what he said

domnt get sucked into vixnixs concern trolling, she loves traditional gender roles

[Sonic Johnny]

Originally Posted by vixnix

Women in my social circles would never talk about anal bleaching in male company because it would make the men uncomfortable. We talk about all that stuff amongst ourselves though, constantly. She just kind of bridges the gap between actual women's conversations, and men's perceptions of what women are like.

Of course she's empowering to suburban soccer mums, they're the least sexually empowered people in the first world at least. 50 shades of grey is sexually empowering to them, doesn't make it good.

[Trotskilicious]

great point

[Lucky Day Spa]

please allow me to gently remind all the dudes here that they have no experience of being a woman in any situation whatsoever, suburban or otherwise

[Trotskilicious]

id like luke to watch some chelsea handler who is a sarah silveman act sans irony

[Lucky Day Spa]

what would be the point? i wouldn't enjoy it

[Trotskilicious]

i dunno how are we supposed to explain that shes degrading, can i not say that on account of my pee pee?

[Trotskilicious]

i hope im not manterrupting

[sppunk]

She isn't funny, regardless of being crass or motiviating or whatever.

[Lucky Day Spa]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

i dunno how are we supposed to explain that shes degrading, can i not say that on account of my pee pee?

you've already done that, but that's tangential to the point i was making anyway

[vixnix]

50 shades of grey is completely disempowering IMO, it's the exact opposite of Chelsea Handler. Chelsea Handler's whole thing is that women don't have to be afraid of allowing themselves to be as crass in public as they are in private.

50 Shades of Grey is pure fantasy - it's basically twilight and American psycho rewritten for the chick lit audience. It's about how much a man can abuse a woman before we say that the relationship has no redeeming features.

Women dream of those relationships because they dream of being desired by men and they're aware of men wanting women who are submissive and inexperienced, which very few women are, by adulthood. So they seek out those experiences in fantasy.

Chelsea Handler is the opposite. She says hey the real world is not so bad. She's like, you've had your pussy all banged and stretched out of shape and your asshole's taken too many hits to count, as well. You think men are a bunch of insecure twats but you love the feel of a cock inside you after you've thrown back too many tequilas. Have you thought of bleaching your asshole, actually? I heard that gays do it.

That's a real conversation for real women. As opposed to a contrived conversation for women who don't want to admit how many thousands of times different male organs have dug the tunnel in their love canals.

Though of course....men hate it. Because as soon as we start talking about how we want our pussies to look and how often we'd like them to be fucked, and who exactly we'd like to be fucking them, men get all freaked out and limp. The male erection is inextricably linked to his ego - you gotta stroke the ego for the erection to follow. The whole thing is just so pathetic and idiotic, and women all know it, but if we say anything, we lose the erections so we stay quiet. Well... In front of the men, anyway.

Some men are so horny they can handle it and are just overjoyed to have more sex in their lives, whether it's sex talk or actual sex - pretty sure ilp knows a few of those....


There's lots to say about anal bleaching. Cost, desired hue, methods, where you can have it done, the level of training you should expect from the beauty therapist, who has had it done and are they happy with it....