David Pajo safe from harm IN HELL

[paranoid]

Also, this is pretty similar to a note left by my parents neighbor right before he shot his wife and kids, then himself, fwiw.

[The exploding boy]

Originally Posted by Thatchy Corker

So in your opinion it is worse to blame someone publicly for your suicide than actually causing someone to commit suicide?

nobody causes anyone to commit suicide.


In any case, i don't think its a wise course of action to judge someone else's relationship based on one side of the story written in distress. Mainly, it's kinda none of our fucking business. Even if yeah i think Pajo kinda wanted to make it everyone's business...apparently. It sounds more like a desperate move to gain back some control on the situation than a real suicide attempt. But again that's just my own judgment. Like its my judgment that perhaps his wife keeps it from him for so long because she's afraid of a violent reaction or that kind of thing, or that perhaps his wife is actually a shitty person because shitty people deserve and often get each other but mainly, it's not really our business and none of us really knows.

[paranoid]

Pajo Kinda made it out business by posting it on his blog.

And this is the kind of crap that happens as a result, baseless speculation.

[darby]

and he tweeted the ig and blog link too

the shaming in the letter is absolutely disgusting. and on top of that he still claims to forgive her. but what i find most disturbing is that he tried to ruin his wife in the public eye. he's got a lot of hate in him and seems to be in denial about it. the domestic abuse doesnt help garner any sympathy from me either

he won't be able to see his kids without a social worker present for a good long while, i'm sure. if his wife even allows that, that is.

[darby]

Originally Posted by paranoid

Also, this is pretty similar to a note left by my parents neighbor right before he shot his wife and kids, then himself, fwiw.

yeah homocide-suicide cases like that arent uncommon when it comes to infidelity, but pajo clearly wanted his wife to suffer

[darby]

Originally Posted by Eulogy

Like, really abusive and controlling and manipulative? It can't be just me.

it's not just you

[Elphenor]

Pretty much lost all credibility with the "Sorry about hitting you" line

[darby]

i know there are people in here trying to defend his actions and being all "give him a break" so i'll say this: if i were in a committed realtionship and kids were involved (or any relationship really, but especially a married one with kids) and someone left me for someome else, the last thing i would do is blame my partner. if anything i would blame myself. people can only be happy with each other so for long, and sometimes it isnt even long at all. i'd just do my best to understand that im no longer the right person for them and move on (i know it's not that easy but positivity and time help). relationships arent meant to last forever. it's all a matter of maturity and pajo hasnt reached that level of maturity yet (and tbh who knows if he ever will)

his actions cant be excused

[dean_r_koontz]

Originally Posted by Eulogy

I utterly reject this premise. So I can't really engage with you here.

why?

[myosis]

i'm happy you can all rationalize things so easily while this man is sick

[darby]

no shit he's sick, i cant tell if youre playing the mental illness card to shut people up tho

[darby]

or using it as an excuse for his actions

[myosis]

you're arguing how you would conduct your own suicide...
i'm telling you suicide is a disease

[darby]

what are you talking about

[myosis]

i'm not excusing anyone (or demonizing) anyone, i just hate this kind of gossiping, and accusing someone of holding moral high ground over his wife but just displaying your own moral high ground

[Dogfighter28]

It's disgusting that this stuff happened over social media. The ultimate cry for help / narcissus combo.

He sounds like a broken person, who just cracked finally when he learned of the affair. He did bad things, but I'll also agree with myosis that it's pretty low to be piling on the guy. I'm sure he will be getting enough of that through the legal system and an eternity of shame.

Most of us don't know how we'd react in this situation. Sure, he sounded pretty passive aggressive leading up to the reveal of the affair, but even a healthy mind can snap without warning. For some it is a hurricane, others being shot at in a warzone, and for this guy it was a personal crisis with someone he probably gave too much of himself to. His individual was dissolved into another person, and that is the most dangerous emotional place you can go.

Just a really fucked situation all in all. Hope his kids will be okay.

[darby]

and i hate people defending misogynistic, abusive assholes. but interpret things as you would like, i guess

[darby]

i knew i was walking a fine line giving my personal two cents with that long post. who cares what i would do in a relationship anyway

[The exploding boy]

Originally Posted by darby

and i hate people defending misogynistic, abusive assholes. but interpret things as you would like, i guess

I do too but you do have to leave some possible compassion for someone who might (but might not also, i don't know) be writing this from the absolute depths of mental distress or illness (likely both)


Being a misogynistic abusive shit does not make you forever unredeemable. People aren't this way because they thought it would be a good idea for one. It is very much rooted in serious mental issues.

[myosis]

i'm not even taking sides because i don't know these people personally and their actual relationship, and i don't even want to read the letter.

i just come from a viewpoint that killing yourself is not a rational thing to do, so i don't expect these people to be thinking rationally about everything else.

[darby]

im not saying people cant change. people do fucked up things under distress, i understand that. he needs help. but it doesnt mean what he did wasnt wrong

[darby]

lol you didnt even read the letter?

[myosis]

for instance, making this a public thing is quite a mistake

[darby]

look, i understand the suicide thing with pajo. lots of us have been there over people we love. it's the shaming in his letter that upsets me

[myosis]

i read through the first sentences and i didn't want to go further

[darby]

yeah i kinda wish i hadnt either

it's one thing to off yourself and leave a note like "i cant live without you like this anymore im sorry i wasnt good enough" and another to be all "this is all your fault. the kids are going to suffer bc of you" etc. thats what i cant tolerate. hopefully he understands what he has done and comes to terms with everything

[paranoid]

Anyone else bothered that apparently 12 hours ago he had a noose around his neck and now he's posting a selfie grinning ear to ear with thumbs up? I'm not computing that so easily.

Maybe he's happy to have survived. Leaving his brothers email at the end says 'contact these people to save my ass' more than it does 'send these guys condolences.'

[darby]

just so we're clear: when i say his actions cant be excused i meant the way the letter was written and him trying to ruin his wife by making it public, not the actual act of suicide itself bc i sympathize with that. the maturity thing is about how he acted with the letter, i wasnt saying that he's immature for trying to take his life

[darby]

yeah i heard about the noose pic too. when i saw his ig last night ppl had just gotten confirmation that he was still alive. i agree with you on the leaving his bro's email for help thing. i think he just wanted to expose his wife and make her feel guilty more than anything else

[Eulogy]

You can be as abusive, manipulating, and controlling as you want as long as you plan on a suicide attempt