Bitch about your job here

[Trotskilicious]

living the high life

traveling from place to place, selling knives

[Trotskilicious]

it beats boring button down america, man

[Cool As Ice Cream]

you can be your own boss. no bosses or colleagues complaining about you being fifteen minutes late. money in the bank, fellas.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

what would this world be like without drugs.

also, if you're on drugs, you can become a real musician. and, you know, make it.

[Trotskilicious]

or an artist or porn star

[Trotskilicious]

reach for the stars, don't limit yourself to hundreds of dollars a month

[ilikeplanets]

holy shit he sold $1200 in one sitting last night! This bumps his comission up to 15% permanently And afterwards we did sex drugs n rock n roll all night!

[Trotskilicious]

Yeah you guys are doomed

[Elphenor]

Looks like they're living the life.

The very short life, but the life nonetheless!

[Elphenor]

The mental image of all those needle marks on her arm is really sticking with me. I'm terrified of needles

[ilikeplanets]

It doesn't hurt unless it's dull

[ilikeplanets]

I was never afraid of needles though, I had a lot of IVs as a kid and sold lots of plasma for money. A tiny insulin needle is painless in comparison. Just don't miss!

[ilikeplanets]

I've never seen anybody with their arm rotting off, no. I had some trashy shit once and my arm had some kind of allergic reaction and turned to the consistency of oatmeal, but that only lasted 30 minutes. All the fluid went into my finger, it was kind of gross. But I've shot everything from crack to 2C-B and haven't had an infection like that. The worst I get are little knots or abscess when I miss, but they are skin colored and tiny and go away in a few days.

[Trotskilicious]

How about you csll rehab and tell them what you told us

I am not being a smart ass

[noyen]

my brother died from an accidental heroin overdose. talking about it like you don't care is pretty much what it's supposed to do. that's why we have an addict talking about it nonchalantly. it's no big deal. even if you end up quitting, maybe you'll relapse and die a quick painless death and your family can pick up the funeral costs. open casket if someone finds you in time. otherwise i imagine you'll be all boxed up because if someone doesn't find you for a few weeks not even the best mortician can cover up that shit.

[ilikeplanets]

Fucking a that cuts. I'm not trying to be disrespectful to any other soul that's had struggles with it. It doesn't phase me but clearly that's not normal. I'm drunk and crying over this, I'm sorry if my nonchalance minimized the gravity of it. Some days I wish for the same fate so I don't have to figure out my tomorrow. There's more to life, I'm sure...fuck

[ilikeplanets]

I've talked to a rehab center or two but they are far from free...I can barely afford the internet to post this rot. Again, my acceptance of my addictions does not mean I don't recognize the horror it can cause and the tragedies that follow. I'm sorry noyen. It seems I'm stuck in the "it can't happen to me" phase. Wow I'm really bawling over this. How the fuck does something that makes it feel all better turn into one's reaper? If I could wake up just one day without finding shit being my prevailing thought...

[Cool As Ice Cream]

i'm listening to david bowie's "telling lies", and singing along, but i've changed the lyrics to "selling knives".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh44g0zASaU

[Cool As Ice Cream]

SEEEEEELLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIING KNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES

[fuzzyroes]

Well hey, at least the guys out there trying to make some honest money.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

fuck you fuzzy fuck you in the ear

[fuzzyroes]

well hey, most junkies are just out there stealing and causing havoc amongst their communities. At least this guys trying to make some money the honest way.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

shuuuuuuuuut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup you fucken retard

[coldestrose]

well hopefully all the money isn't just blown away

[noyen]

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

I've talked to a rehab center or two but they are far from free...I can barely afford the internet to post this rot. Again, my acceptance of my addictions does not mean I don't recognize the horror it can cause and the tragedies that follow. I'm sorry noyen. It seems I'm stuck in the "it can't happen to me" phase. Wow I'm really bawling over this. How the fuck does something that makes it feel all better turn into one's reaper? If I could wake up just one day without finding shit being my prevailing thought...

well, this is the first i've seen you seem to care you have a problem. you aren't going to afford a resort type rehab, but you can find free help to get off. google is your friend. free drugs. free counseling, free support groups. granted you aren't going to go to palm spings and get put in a coma for 3 weeks and intravenously fed like rich drug addicts do, but to say it's a cost issue is a cop out, totally. it isn't happening to you, but it probably will. that's the reality of it. every single addict i've known is dead. nearly all of them got off of it at some point too. the ones that did, relapsed and died. sometimes a decade later. you're kinda married to it. how you deal with it depends on if you really want to live and get off of it, or just get off of it temporarily or if you really just want to maintain your habit forever. not that im trying to hurt your feelings but it's a huge fucking bummer to come here and occasionally read about your drug habit. begging for help isn't shameful thing. it feels humiliating for you, but you might need to beg for help to actually get it. flirting around the edge of on and off is just as dangerous and putting yourself in dumb situations is setting yourself up to fail and fail and fail and fail. i was never addicted to heroin, but i did try it. i was addicted to other things so i can sympathize but for real if anything stop trying to convince yourself this heroin thing is okay just because you post about it here and just because you get by. the coolest thing you could do is spend all that energy trying to actually do something. or you may as well just resign to the fact you'll eventually die from it.

happy wednesday.

[slunken]

Hump dayyyyyyy!

[null123]

Originally Posted by noyen

if you end up quitting, maybe you'll relapse and die a quick painless death and your family can pick up the funeral costs.

This is how my cousin died a couple years ago. Quit for good, planets. I believe in you

[vixnix]

My cousin was an addict but he hung himself in the garage.

You and your husband need to get clean together so you can support each other. Go to a church - maybe an Episcopal or Methodist one, they may be able to help you find accommodation and other kinds of assistance, but more importantly you can 're-parent' yourself and be encouraged by the older folk there. Espiscopalians and Methodists are theologically liberal - so they don't believe in converting the masses...more helping the needy. They won't ask you to do anything 'Christian' like say a sinner's prayer, or be baptised, or confess your sins or anything like that - but going to church on a Sunday would be a good was to start a healthier, sober routine...even as a non-believer. It just gets you used to a different crowd of people, most of who will be sober, and have professional careers...it will give you a few role models hopefully, which it seems like you've been lacking. I am the same - my parents are both professionals and sober, but they weren't terrific parents for one reason or another. So I had to find our parental figures in the world and follow other people's examples. Church was really good for that, for me. That isn't why I started going but it is part of the reason I stay - being able to make and maintain friendships with people who inspire me to stay sober and create healthy longer term plans for myself.

If you're there every Sunday and they have your name and address, you'll go on to a pastoral care roster of some kind, and so someone will regularly check in with you. There's no burden on you to get clean just because you're there. Christianity is supposed to be a religion of grace and forgiveness, so if it's a properly Christian crowd, nobody will judge you, they'll mostly just want to help you because it really is a waste of your life, your mind, your gifts, to be caught up in an endless cycle of homelessness, drug use and minimum wage jobs. It's good for a lot of us to go through that stage...but there are many more things that you can do with your life, if you get clean. Good luck! If you want to try church just PM me, I'll email/call a few in your area and try to work out which one has the best good people:crazy people ratio...

[noyen]

yeah, church sounds like a great option. where everyone on their prescription pain killers can be high and mighty with you about how their drug addictions are different than yours because jesus and military service.

if anything, don't feel bad because you're no better or worse than rush limbaugh.

[vixnix]

Not all churches are the same - none of the churches I've been to are like that. Different denominations attract different crowds... We have churches like those here, too... But I steer clear of them because of my history and knowing I won't fit in. My boss (the minister of our church) laughs with me about my past as a stoner...and he knows I'll be in therapy for the rest of my life. Churches are really different from each other...