I practically woke up one morning this week not depressed or suicidal any more

[mpp]

Originally Posted by reprise85

we didn't have power after a hurricane for like two weeks and i did it several times alone in the dark with a flashlight and a cd player.

i assume you had batteries

what did you listen to?

[mpp]

Originally Posted by Luke de Spa

just kidding f TED talks

http://www.ted.com/talks/aaron_o_con...um_object.html

My favorite, I think

[mpp]

well this was a badass thread overnight

[Trotskilicious]

yeah the combo of luke/charms/overnight peeps can be pretty quality especially with me not fucking it up

[mpp]

i really enjoyed reading it

where were you last night trots?

[Trotskilicious]

sleeping

[mpp]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

sleeping

yeah me too man

hardasses be stayin up late -- I can't make it past 11:00 nowadays

[yo soy el mejor]

same here. we had tickets to see a show not too long ago that started at 10:30pm. as it drew nearer we decided we'd rather just turn in for the night.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by mpp

first, thanks for the post

second, doesn't this help quite a bit? for years, my wife counseled veterans (from recent and not so recent wars) -- talk about a tough job. but she did it and she helped dozens of these guys to feel okay even after they'd done, in their minds, unspeakable horrors. that's an important job.

yes it helps a lot. the previous therapist i had didnt really give a shit.

not only is she an expert with dissociative disorders, she has like 25 years experience, and we have similar world views re: mind expansion, values, thought processes, etc. we can really communicate well. she also gives off a very maternal vibe and is like 51 or 52 so she could be my mom age wise, and that transference is actually mostly helpful, since we are both aware of it.

a good therapist makes all the difference. i've never had to call her, actually i think i did once early in therapy, but i have her cell number if i need it. my old therapist wouldnt even call me back in a timely matter

she also worked with my psychiatrist in a treatment center for about a decade, so they know each other and i think they even socially are friends. she also saw my sister some 12 years ago, around the time i left home, which i had no idea about when i first called her. my mom recognized her name and when i told her a little about my life around the time she was seeing my sister she started remembering her and my family a little.

some big coincidences, eh?

she's on vacation now, i won't see her for two weeks. good to give my brain a break once in a while

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

on another note, just because someone dealt with their depression and got it to a point where it isn't destroying their life doesn't mean their depression wasn't as bad as or worse than anyone else's. and I also think the obsession with depression being a "chemical imbalance" makes people overlook the fact that chemical imbalances might be both created and reversed by things besides drugs.

careful, that's troll talk

[Trotskilicious]

lol unfortunately that's not what you said, and i doubt she's saying that to back you up

besides the fact that she posted the pop-psych pyramid of the feel good rainbow

[Trotskilicious]

besides the fact that the idea that nobody said that medication fixes everything but it's certainly not something you should just ignore because its bad for you or whatever

oh and lastly, yes she is a huge troll

[vixnix]

Yeah it was disappointing to see ol' Maslow's pyramid

[vixnix]

And then her and Luke playing courting games through a veil of armchair philosophizing. It makes you be sick into your mouth a little bit doesn't it. I think we all want to believe that she is better than this place and only comes here to help us. Watching her fraternize with one of us rubs the shine off a bit.

Also I desperately need sleep so don't go holding me to any of this. I'm just jibber jabbering now.

[TuralyonW3]

Originally Posted by mpp

http://www.ted.com/talks/aaron_o_con...um_object.html

My favorite, I think

That's a good intro, and this goes more in depth on the specifics:

[noyen]

i feel different about life today. today i'm a romantic. i just need a hug.

[vixnix]

Are you on meds? I love the highs and lows of natural depression. Not when I'm low, but when I'm in that romantic mood and I see the sunlight hitting the harbor water and it's still enough to hear birds and my children playing and I tear up a bit because in that moment I see something so beautiful it hurts. I love that. Up and down all day. Medication kills all that away. I don't feel anything strongly anymore. I miss crying.

[pavementtune]

"I just need a hug."
- "Are you on meds?"

[vixnix]

haha

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by vixnix

Yeah it was disappointing to see ol' Maslow's pyramid

the reason that stuff is annoying is because it's so simplistic and it's applied to everyone where it's really much more complex

i also have to delight in the irony of someone like charmbag, who repeatedly insists that absolutely nobody can know what it's like to be female except other women, but then tells us what everyone'e else's experiences are like. there's just so many contradictions.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by vixnix

Are you on meds? I love the highs and lows of natural depression. Not when I'm low, but when I'm in that romantic mood and I see the sunlight hitting the harbor water and it's still enough to hear birds and my children playing and I tear up a bit because in that moment I see something so beautiful it hurts. I love that. Up and down all day. Medication kills all that away. I don't feel anything strongly anymore. I miss crying.

i never get highs when i'm depressed. lows only. i only get the happies like you are describing when i'm feeling good in general. when i'm feeling good in general i get highs and lows, but not quick ones, normal flow based on a lot of different things. it's pretty sweet.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by mpp

i assume you had batteries

what did you listen to?

sorry, i missed this

pink floyd, pumpkins, beatles

had one bad trip where i forced myself to sleep and three or four nice ones

they were all meditative since i didnt leave my room (maybe to smoke? i dont think i was smoking at the time)

[Trotskilicious]

yeah the sunlight might glint off the harbor and i'd just sit there going "Man this some ole bullshit."

[null123]

Originally Posted by vixnix

And then her and Luke playing courting games through a veil of armchair philosophizing. It makes you be sick into your mouth a little bit doesn't it. I think we all want to believe that she is better than this place and only comes here to help us. Watching her fraternize with one of us rubs the shine off a bit.

yeah i'm from the fifth dimension

[mpp]

Originally Posted by TuralyonW3

That's a good intro, and this goes more in depth on the specifics:

just so effing cool

[Trotskilicious]

i guess i'm on the do not engage list lol

'tis a blessing

[noyen]

hugs not drugs

[vixnix]

Yeah my depression is a toxic mix of tearful happiness and overwhelmed rage, and I swing between them many times a day. So one minute I'm telling my children I love them like it's the end of the world and the next I'm yelling at them in this menacing tone to just get in the car already and why do they have to make everything so hard, are they trying to run me down so that I just have nothing left or what.
depression cones in a variety of shitty flavors huh

[noyen]

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. Right? And this bag was just dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That's the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_TE0Z-9F0gX...can-beauty.jpg

[Trotskilicious]

god that movie is so horrible