how do you know you're not a sociopath

[null123]

Originally Posted by reprise85

im sorry you deal with it to. for me i can trace it back to daily events and how everything was used - i didnt wash the dishes correctly, or take out the trash at the right time, to use really benign examples - i look at some man too long at the grocery store, he didnt like what i was wearing, literally anything could be and was used so i had to be hypervigilant about not making "mistakes" and playing his fucked up game that i could only lose by his rules, it's a fucked up tactic that makes the victim think they have control when they will lose no matter what

yeah that's fucked up. it's scary, i don't know what the consequences were specifically in your situation but my mom was my only real parent growing up and she was never very maternal after age 4 or so. she just regarded me with contempt and any little thing i did was an opportunity to mock me or just ignore me. she was so vicious. she used to mockingly call me Pollyanna for being too happy.

[Starla]

Originally Posted by Luke de Spa

because I AM insane, and when people fuck over a friend of mine, it's just as good as them fucking me over too - and I'll make them pay

I wish I never posted this shit about Strawberry.

[null123]

Originally Posted by Starla

I think I'm gonna crash. Night ya'll.

night starla, take it easy...

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Starla

Here is a thought. Are you as hard on yourself as your parents were? Cause I know that I can be. I used to apologize for everything too. Overcompensating, apologizing are mostly learned behaviors and has much to do with self of steem.

My parents were very "we love you no matter what" but then also expected us to be perfect so it was very confusing. I really don't remember the home atmosphere very much, I compartmentalized and I don't remember much before 14 and what I do remember is stuff I feel like I am more told in my brain, you can call them alters or parts or whatever but I have different levels of consciousness or whatever within which I have certain memories and information and sometimes I can get into them and sometimes I can't.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Starla

I think I'm gonna crash. Night ya'll.

goodnight

Originally Posted by Charmbag

yeah that's fucked up. it's scary, i don't know what the consequences were specifically in your situation but my mom was my only real parent growing up and she was never very maternal after age 4 or so. she just regarded me with contempt and any little thing i did was an opportunity to mock me or just ignore me. she was so vicious. she used to mockingly call me Pollyanna for being too happy.

i'm sorry to hear all that, charmbag. consequences were mostly physical and also things like having to stay in the closet for some hours, and things like that. and then later with mr. wonderful it was the sex trap i described earlier

the mocking is horrible, and the ignoring, those are so unfair and so harmful. im sorry to hear

[reprise85]

im prob gonna crash here in a few minutes as well

[null123]

okay. sleep well. it helps to know other people are dealing with some of these same things, doesn't seem so crazy. means a lot.

[Luke de Spa]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

idk luke you've always been more Jekyll than Hyde to me

but i lied about yu-gi-oh

yu-gi-oh

[null123]

game changer

[Luke de Spa]

is that a yu-gi-oh term

[null123]

probably

[reprise85]

night night charmbag, luke

[null123]

gnight girl

[null123]

i'm so close to 5000 posts!!!

[null123]

i've been working on this since I was 16 years old

[Luke de Spa]

goodnight room, goodnight moon

[Luke de Spa]

your stars will change

uh maybe, who remembers?

[Luke de Spa]

anyway IF (iff) that happens, be prepared

[null123]

lets make this happen

[null123]

20 posts

[Luke de Spa]

i would actually like to know how i score on those sociopath and narcissist scales

t-lish kept saying he thought i was a sociopath. i wonder how he could tell

[Luke de Spa]

i'm pretty sure i'm not a narcissist because i was never into yu-gi-oh

[null123]

why would he think you're a sociopath

[Luke de Spa]

i think because the lapels on my coat were the same size as those of the actor who plays sherlock in the eponymous bbc series

[Luke de Spa]

well i mean the lapels that guy wears on the show while playing sherlock

[Luke de Spa]

not that he himself has grown his own lapels and is just coincidentally in some show playing a sociopath

[Luke de Spa]

see this is how to get your post count up

[null123]

i wouldn't know anything about that

[Trotskilicious]

it was an offhand comment

[Luke de Spa]

that's okay, most people can't grow their own lapels

i know i can't, i've spent years trying

same old lame clavicles