How long are you nice to rude people

[vixnix]

Before you give up.

One of the receptionists at this gym is so rude. I've tried smiling and saying good morning the way that I do with all the others and she just fucking deadpans me. Sometimes I think she might have rolled her eyes at me. When she takes my keys to scan my tag I always check her nails, it's a home job manicure all chewed off at the tops. I kinda think, don't deadpan me, chewy lady, this is your job.

I tried for a week to make nice and now we just deadpan each other. Sometimes I glare a bit.

So what about you.

[IAMTHEDOORWAY]

bake her some cookies; maybe she'll end up being best friends

[reprise85]

if it's a stranger and they're passively rude i'll usually let it go unless i have to spend a significant amount of time with them. if they're actively rude i usually let it go too but it depends

with people i've lived with or kinda know, i will say something if they're actively being rude but i am sorta a pushover in these cases unless someone is completely out of line.

if it's a friend i will say something right away

with my parents i just take it, and it happens with both of them all the time. if i ever do say something i usually start being rude back, for the most part. this happens once every few years.

[MyOneAndOnly]

i have a personal failing that prevents me from faking my distain. I'm a bad actor. It gets me in trouble sometimes, but it also can be a relief in that I don't suffer rude people.

[pavementtune]

Depends on the form of rudeness. A guy at a rental company went over the line. He never said hello, talked only with his back turned to me. I let that pass. But then he went like "I won't explain that to a girl" and "a little girl shouldn't be working with that". That was too much. Now when I walk in, he nods and gets his colleague. Works for me.

basically never

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

Depends on the form of rudeness. A guy at a rental company went over the line. He never said hello, talked only with his back turned to me. I let that pass. But then he went like "I won't explain that to a girl" and "a little girl shouldn't be working with that". That was too much. Now when I walk in, he nods and gets his colleague. Works for me.

What wouldn't he explain? What did you say?

I am not nice once I find out someone is consciously rude.

[Sonic Johnny]

I put up with it for a while and then go home and make a thread on an internet message board about it.

[Toby]

Originally Posted by Graveflower

basically never

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Forever

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by vixnix

I always check her nails, it's a home job manicure all chewed off at the tops.

uh

[null123]

if someone is just coldstaring me I assume that's just how they are or they're having a bad day

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Eulogy

uh

i chew the fuck out of my nails. it just means she's a nervous person CUT HER SOME SLACK

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

if someone is just coldstaring me I assume that's just how they are or they're having a bad day

but yeah this

[EyesOfAJackal]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

if someone is just coldstaring me I assume that's just how they are or they're having a bad day

Sometimes when people do this I'll just directly address/greet them

It's about 50/50 that it'll break the coldstare and they'll greet back and back down, or they'll just keep staring T-1000 style. I feel like it's a good litmus test to determine if that's how they are or not

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__.../T-Patrick.jpg

[ohnoitsbonnie]

I avoid making eye contact

[vixnix]

Oh I only mention the nails in a by the by kinda way. I don't care I mean it does lookna little but gross because her nails are bright pink and then all chewed off at the end, I have to look at her hand to pass get my keys and it's hard not to notice.

I did cut her some slack, I cut everyone slack if they're rude, but like I say, after a week of making eye contact and trying to be friendly and getting the dead eyes back I thought eh fuck this it's easier not to bother so now I just hand her my keys and don't bother trying to soften my disapproval of her rudeness with a smile or anything.

That's why I asked; I wondered if I was giving up too early and if other people were nicer and tried for longer to be friendly. I did that at the last gym with a crèche worker, it took months of being nice before she finally graced me with her friendliness. I don't know what her deal was because she was a class A bitch to me until one day she just started being friendly. I was prepared to persevere with her because she looked after my kids while I was working out and I didn't want her to take anything out on them.

Anyhow.

[pavementtune]

Giving up too early? You tried more than long enough. If she wants to stare at you, she can do that without you smiling.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Overall I gotta say people aren't too nice over there. They're much nicer in the usa.

[Dead Frequency]

The question is why do you care if some random isn't happy cheery all up your ass with the smiles and personal lip service? If some pecker head wants to be uncool then fuck 'em. They can get bent.

[vixnix]

I reckon they're about the same. When I first came here other mums gave me their phone numbers in playgrounds when I was there with my kids, after finding out we'd only recently arrived...told me to call for a playdate and cone over for a cup of tea, which I did, because I was desperate for company. I thought that was lovely, I find in general that Sydneysiders are very cheerful and outgoing. And our churches have always gone out of their way to help us settle in and feel at home. There have been a lot of rude people too but you get that everywhere. Something I noticed in NYC, New Orleans and Chicago was that people are constantly asking for money, you don't get that so much here. I found that really disturbing. Nobody had ever asked me for money before so I just kept handing it out, I didn't know what else to do.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Nobody ask me for money

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Avram fell off a bike while here and a man invited him in and bandaged him up. In Australia no one would do that. They'd laugh.

[vixnix]

I don't really care, I was just interested in what people thought the appropriate response was, whether you keep being friendly or whether you might as well not bother.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

See there you go proving my point, you frigid Australian hussy

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Sry that was rude.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

Avram fell off a bike while here and a man invited him in and bandaged him up. In Australia no one would do that. They'd laugh.

My son fell off his scooter on a bike path and people gathered round and offered us a lift to the emergency department and offered to call an ambulance. I think you've had some bad experiences here but I've always found people pretty friendly. I've just joined a new Playgroup and the lady who runs it is a grandmother and today when I turned up she squeezed my arm and drew so close to me I thought she was going to kiss me hello which is fairly common in these parts.

I don't understand how I can be frigid and a hussy, that's quite a creative and cryptic barb you have there.

[Dogfighter28]

if people are rude to me i just pretend they arent people

[ohnoitsbonnie]

It has to do with how I perceived everyone to be there which was really sexual but boring inside

[Dead Frequency]

Originally Posted by vixnix

I don't really care, I was just interested in what people thought the appropriate response was, whether you keep being friendly or whether you might as well not bother.

Next time just reach out to the good lord for advice