Dealing with the loss of pets while still alive

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-11-2012, 04:11 AM

I will be moving early next year and unable to take my rats and cat, Opal, with me. I will miss them terribly. My mom will take over as mother to them. Has anyone else ever done this and what kind of coping skills did you develop to deal with the missing feeling?

Future Boy · 08-11-2012, 04:20 AM

drugs

Starla · 08-11-2012, 04:24 AM

Can you ask your mom to snap pics and video for you, and send them? Since they are with your mom you can go back and visit.

I think it's really hard to re-home an animal to strangers. I have never gotten over having to give up my cat and neither has my daughter. We think about him a lot. After that experience, I'll never get another animal again until I am 100% positive we can provide a forever home, and that our plans won't be changing.

john's ego · 08-11-2012, 05:21 AM

Why are you deserting your loved ones.

john's ego · 08-11-2012, 05:21 AM

I guess you don't love them very much to begin with, huh.

hnibos · 08-11-2012, 05:23 AM

You can kill them.

cocksure · 08-11-2012, 05:34 AM

and then stuff them

john's ego · 08-11-2012, 05:37 AM

is this your coy way of telling us you're moving down under?

Future Boy · 08-11-2012, 05:38 AM

she already said she was

hnibos · 08-11-2012, 05:39 AM

What kind of government assistance will you be getting in Australia?

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-11-2012, 06:09 AM

None because I'm not entitled to any. I don't want any anywayd.

Starla-

Bonsor - I feel lke this. Like I don't love them. But I do?

??

john's ego · 08-11-2012, 06:14 AM

Then make Ever stay in the states, what the hell.

reprise85 · 08-11-2012, 10:23 AM

When I left a relationship and moved back to Florida, I had to leave two cats behind. I literally left with nothing but the clothes on my back, and honestly I stayed there a lot longer than I should have just because of the cats.

It still hurts my heart, but it's somewhat better. In my case, looking at pictures make it worse, but I still do it sometimes. They're on the web.

I guess I don't have advice, sorry. I agree with Starla that it might help that you'll be able to visit.

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-11-2012, 10:54 AM

I could skype with Opal all day.

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-11-2012, 11:01 AM

A part of me wants for the rats to die peacefully in their sleep while I am still here. It's closure. But of course I dont actually want this. Theyre really healthy for their ages (theyre all around the same age). My brother and Mom will take over as rat care takers and they'll be fine but still... And Opal will be fine too, but I'll miss her so much. Avram actually has a cat named Bonnie but she seems really naive and not so cynical like Opal so we'll see about this.

More pet talk: a neighbor left me her precious poodle, Poli. Poor Poli is so frightened of everything because he's a rescue from a puppy mill. I think he was the stud dog? Anyway, he's always shaking and lets no one near him but said neighbor and me and I have no idea why. He always wants to jump on my lap and he follows me around. I don't give him food. So go figure.

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-11-2012, 11:01 AM

I'm not an animal person, honest

Future Boy · 08-11-2012, 11:00 PM

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-11-2012, 11:28 PM

That is one option

ilikeplanets · 08-12-2012, 01:11 AM

is this your way of gloating about moving

slunken · 08-12-2012, 01:26 AM

what about what the animals want? #powerdynamics

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-12-2012, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

is this your way of gloating about moving

I don't really want to anymore the more I think about leaving my family and pets.

reprise85 · 08-12-2012, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

is this your way of gloating about moving

well it sounds like she's sad about leaving her pets to me

pavementtune · 08-12-2012, 02:08 AM

Why don't you take your pets with you?

reprise85 · 08-12-2012, 02:14 AM

god it's been fucking almost 8 years since i left those cats, what the hell. time is so... weird

still sad

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-12-2012, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pavementtune

Why don't you take your pets with you?

I'm afraid that they will die in the plane, because that happens very often. If they stay with my mom they'll be totally fine and won't even go through any stress. If they died how would I feel? How would you feel?

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-12-2012, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reprise85

god it's been fucking almost 8 years since i left those cats, what the hell. time is so... weird

still sad

Reprise you are very brave. To have left.

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-12-2012, 02:27 AM

It's not just my pets. It's my family too.

reprise85 · 08-12-2012, 02:29 AM

It would definitely be a lot of stress on them to move as well. Do pets really die a lot on planes? That's awful.

When do you move, Bonnie?

reprise85 · 08-12-2012, 02:33 AM

how often will you be able to see your family? you must really love Ever

ohnoitsbonnie · 08-12-2012, 02:40 AM

Jan 10 is when I am leaving. I love him so much. I would like my family to visit me from time to time but it's obviously not going to be the same

08-11-2012, 04:11 AM	#1
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	Dealing with the loss of pets while still alive I will be moving early next year and unable to take my rats and cat, Opal, with me. I will miss them terribly. My mom will take over as mother to them. Has anyone else ever done this and what kind of coping skills did you develop to deal with the missing feeling?

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08-11-2012, 04:20 AM	#2
Future Boy The Man of Tomorrow Posts: 26,972	drugs

08-11-2012, 04:24 AM	#3
Starla ***** Posts: 15,778	Can you ask your mom to snap pics and video for you, and send them? Since they are with your mom you can go back and visit. I think it's really hard to re-home an animal to strangers. I have never gotten over having to give up my cat and neither has my daughter. We think about him a lot. After that experience, I'll never get another animal again until I am 100% positive we can provide a forever home, and that our plans won't be changing.

08-11-2012, 05:21 AM	#4
john's ego Ownz Posts: 678	Why are you deserting your loved ones.

08-11-2012, 05:23 AM	#6
hnibos Braindead Location: I was just reading, right? Posts: 15,020	You can kill them.

08-11-2012, 05:34 AM	#7
cocksure Apocalyptic Poster Location: dedicated to the feeling of good Posts: 4,363	and then stuff them

08-11-2012, 05:37 AM	#8
john's ego Ownz Posts: 678	is this your coy way of telling us you're moving down under?

08-11-2012, 05:38 AM	#9
Future Boy The Man of Tomorrow Posts: 26,972	she already said she was

08-11-2012, 05:39 AM	#10
hnibos Braindead Location: I was just reading, right? Posts: 15,020	What kind of government assistance will you be getting in Australia?

08-11-2012, 06:09 AM	#11
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	None because I'm not entitled to any. I don't want any anywayd. Starla- Bonsor - I feel lke this. Like I don't love them. But I do? ??

08-11-2012, 06:14 AM	#12
john's ego Ownz Posts: 678	Then make Ever stay in the states, what the hell.

08-11-2012, 10:23 AM	#13
reprise85 BOTTLEG ILLEGAL Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face Posts: 31,883	When I left a relationship and moved back to Florida, I had to leave two cats behind. I literally left with nothing but the clothes on my back, and honestly I stayed there a lot longer than I should have just because of the cats. It still hurts my heart, but it's somewhat better. In my case, looking at pictures make it worse, but I still do it sometimes. They're on the web. I guess I don't have advice, sorry. I agree with Starla that it might help that you'll be able to visit.

08-11-2012, 10:54 AM	#14
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	I could skype with Opal all day.

08-11-2012, 11:01 AM	#15
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	A part of me wants for the rats to die peacefully in their sleep while I am still here. It's closure. But of course I dont actually want this. Theyre really healthy for their ages (theyre all around the same age). My brother and Mom will take over as rat care takers and they'll be fine but still... And Opal will be fine too, but I'll miss her so much. Avram actually has a cat named Bonnie but she seems really naive and not so cynical like Opal so we'll see about this. More pet talk: a neighbor left me her precious poodle, Poli. Poor Poli is so frightened of everything because he's a rescue from a puppy mill. I think he was the stud dog? Anyway, he's always shaking and lets no one near him but said neighbor and me and I have no idea why. He always wants to jump on my lap and he follows me around. I don't give him food. So go figure.

08-11-2012, 11:00 PM	#17
Future Boy The Man of Tomorrow Posts: 26,972	see

08-11-2012, 11:28 PM	#18
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	That is one option

08-12-2012, 01:11 AM	#19
ilikeplanets Socialphobic Location: Ignore List Posts: 14,104	is this your way of gloating about moving

08-12-2012, 01:26 AM	#20
slunken Virgo Posts: 39,745	what about what the animals want? #powerdynamics

08-12-2012, 02:08 AM	#23
pavementtune ************** Location: I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all. Posts: 8,689	Why don't you take your pets with you?

08-12-2012, 02:14 AM	#24
reprise85 BOTTLEG ILLEGAL Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face Posts: 31,883	god it's been fucking almost 8 years since i left those cats, what the hell. time is so... weird still sad

08-12-2012, 02:27 AM	#27
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	It's not just my pets. It's my family too.

08-12-2012, 02:29 AM	#28
reprise85 BOTTLEG ILLEGAL Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face Posts: 31,883	It would definitely be a lot of stress on them to move as well. Do pets really die a lot on planes? That's awful. When do you move, Bonnie?

08-12-2012, 02:33 AM	#29
reprise85 BOTTLEG ILLEGAL Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face Posts: 31,883	how often will you be able to see your family? you must really love Ever

08-12-2012, 02:40 AM	#30
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,383	Jan 10 is when I am leaving. I love him so much. I would like my family to visit me from time to time but it's obviously not going to be the same