can someone be too nice?

[reprise85]

i was accused of this today

and i don't mean like sucking up/forced niceness. just as how they are in general.

basically this person said that i'm so nice they feel bad getting pissed at me

[Future Boy]

i get that all the time

[Trotskilicious]

i think people who are too nice are almost invariably being phony about it

[reprise85]

are you including unconsciously being phony in that or only deliberate?

[Trotskilicious]

i don't know what the fuck that even means

[reprise85]

i mean that people can be phony and not realize they are being phony.

are you saying these people who are invariably phony about it are being phony on purpose or not?

[Trotskilicious]

man you think about this shit too much

how can you be inadvertently disingenuous? that doesn't even make sense.

[reprise85]

i'm not sure. i was asking because if i am doing that it is not purposeful or conscious

as far as thinking about this shit too much. i hope you realize im doing other things and not sitting her pondering this for hours

[vixnix]

I agree with Trots. People tell me I'm nice all the time but what I really am is scared to tell the truth. That's why I come on the Internet and spew out all my contempt and hatred here. Because now that I'm a mummy, I need to keep my mouth shut and in the shape of a smile or my kids and I will wind up lonely pretty quickly. It isn't an intentional thing though, I do it almost involuntarily, prompted by a kind of instinctual understanding that it is the right thing to do. Before kids, I was basically a misanthrope with a small circle of friends who truly liked me even with all my quirks and rage. Now I'm Nice Vixnix and nobody really gets to know the sarcastic bitch underneath. It's tiring.

[Trotskilicious]

if someone annoys me i'll show them but subtly but for some shoulder tapping self-promotional assclowns that's not enough

[reprise85]

i will get angry if someone pushes enough, im not some passive ned flanders type or anything

[Charmbag]

I'm still learning how to act like a normal person so sometimes I fall back on being ridiculously nice

[Charmbag]

it is annoying to deal with people who apologize for everything, say 'thank you' a million times, never exert their will or have an opinion of their own. people can sense that dishonesty/fakeness and wonder what is lurking under the surface, so it makes them uncomfortable.

[Eulogy]

in my experience, i've found that the people who are unflinchingly nice all the time are also incredibly boring.

everything in moderation.

[Trotskilicious]

the edge is what is interesting in life

[vixnix]

Charmbag I don't know where you live but where I am you have just described the majority of people who I meet and end up being friends with. I think almost everybody is like that to begin with and if you sense you have enough in common with them and you can trust them then you can unveil a little and relax. It's just that in my current circle of friends I pretty much only have being a mother, in common with them. I have one or two that I am more relaxed around though. School drop offs and pick ups though, are excruciating for me. It's all one big display of fake niceness. Seriously excruciating.

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by vixnix

It's just that in my current circle of friends I pretty much only have being a mother, in common with them. I have one or two that I am more relaxed around though. School drop offs and pick ups though, are excruciating for me. It's all one big display of fake niceness. Seriously excruciating.

i would rather die

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

I'm still learning how to act like a normal person so sometimes I fall back on being ridiculously nice

yeah im starting to do this i think which is why im questioning

well really i started some time ago but, starting to see results

i used to be the "sorry" constantly person but i've definitely gotten beyond that.

fake pleasantries are annoying as fuck though, i agree with that

[vixnix]

Yep me too. But I love my kids enough that I grit my teeth and just die on the inside instead.

[Charmbag]

Originally Posted by vixnix

Charmbag I don't know where you live but where I am you have just described the majority of people who I meet and end up being friends with. I think almost everybody is like that to begin with and if you sense you have enough in common with them and you can trust them then you can unveil a little and relax. It's just that in my current circle of friends I pretty much only have being a mother, in common with them. I have one or two that I am more relaxed around though. School drop offs and pick ups though, are excruciating for me. It's all one big display of fake niceness. Seriously excruciating.

people around me are cold-blooded. I'd probably do better with the soccer moms. I have always had issues getting along with people my age though

[reprise85]

same here

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

it is annoying to deal with people who apologize for everything

my roommate does this

[Trotskilicious]

i started going why man why are you sorry and then he'll apologize again

[reprise85]

yeah the old saying sorry for saying sorry loop

also there's a difference between being nice and being a pushover

[Trotskilicious]

shut up

[yo soy el mejor]

tooting your own horn for being nice?

so you're nice AND humble.

[reprise85]

that was not my intention at all but ok

[mxzombie]

boy everyone on netphoria is just too nice huh

[yo soy el mejor]

FUCK yoU!

[mxzombie]

i'm sorry