don't you hate it when you feel like you have an absolutely massive turd that's sitti

Trotskilicious · 12-16-2011, 03:04 AM

ng in your colon but when you go to poop all that comes out is little soft shit ribbons and you still feel like that monster turd is only growing larger in your colon and when it comes out it will split you in half perhaps

Toby · 12-16-2011, 03:21 AM

Trotskilicious · 12-16-2011, 03:23 AM

i knew i could count on you toby

Dead Frequency · 12-16-2011, 03:34 AM

I have faith that it'll eventually turn into the ol' prairie dog scenario at an inopportune moment.

ME: Hey, how are you? I'm really glad you decided on this second date. Getting coffee and going to the park seemed like such a great idea and now I know that truly is!
SECOND DATE LADY: Me too! I didn't know if I was going to be able to make it with my hectic schedule, but I agree! This is just great

ME:

*PRAIRIE DOG*
SECOND DATE LADY: What's wrong?
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/68...rairie_Dog.jpg

Toby · 12-16-2011, 03:43 AM

truth

teh b0lly!!1 · 12-16-2011, 07:25 AM

its even worse if when you do get it out, it dismembers halfway through.
then you're indefinitely stuck with half a turd up your ass

ilikeplanets · 12-16-2011, 11:49 AM

Never underestimate the healing power of a good shit

samuel redman · 12-16-2011, 12:30 PM

im going to have sex, how do i get this buildup of shit out of me

reprise85 · 12-16-2011, 12:32 PM

drink some milk
laxatives
etc

JokeyLoki · 12-16-2011, 12:35 PM

Milk makes you more constipated, unless you're lactose intolerant. Drink coffee.

Trotskilicious · 12-16-2011, 12:39 PM

i'm going to have surgery

reprise85 · 12-16-2011, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JokeyLoki

Milk makes you more constipated, unless you're lactose intolerant. Drink coffee.

i did not realize this

also smoking a cig can help. any stimulant

Trotskilicious · 12-16-2011, 01:08 PM

no kidding

hnibos · 12-16-2011, 01:09 PM

Anal sex helps too.

ilikeplanets · 12-16-2011, 01:16 PM

Try eating fruit

killtrocity · 12-16-2011, 02:00 PM

cranberry juice. nantucket nectars makes a delicious one
http://blog.bombevi.com/wp-content/u...41-225x300.jpg

Trotskilicious · 12-16-2011, 02:43 PM

this isn't an advice thread

and i thought cranberries were for pissing

Trotskilicious · 12-16-2011, 02:43 PM

i mean you guys are telling a 30 year old man that smoking and fruit will help me shit. well no fucking kidding guys wow.

next thing you're going to tell me i should eat a salad with plenty of greens

thanks watchdogs

cork_soaker · 12-16-2011, 02:49 PM

don't forget anal sex

cork_soaker · 12-16-2011, 02:49 PM

i know i never do

*wink*

cork_soaker · 12-16-2011, 02:56 PM

thread is gross

slunken · 12-16-2011, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

this isn't an advice thread

i think every thread is

Trotskilicious · 12-17-2011, 10:05 PM

you know i remembered that taco bell is a really, really good laxative

Toby · 12-17-2011, 10:07 PM

That new steak thing is actually p good

mxzombie · 12-17-2011, 10:14 PM

...at inducing a bowel movement

Trotskilicious · 12-17-2011, 10:19 PM

i just can't eat nothing but steak and cheese i feel like i'm trying to commit suicide

mxzombie · 10:35 PM

what's more frustrating for me is having to exert an extreme amount of effort to squeeze out some unsatisfying pellets and leaving the bathroom still feeling like i have to shit but not having any strength or time left to devote to shitting.

phew

reprise85 · 12-17-2011, 10:33 PM

even reading that sentence made me frustrated

mxzombie · 12-17-2011, 10:34 PM

was it confusing? or are you simply sympathizing

mxzombie · 12-17-2011, 10:35 PM

whoops, wrong tense on a verb in there. fixed it.

12-16-2011, 03:04 AM	#1
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	don't you hate it when you feel like you have an absolutely massive turd that's sitti ng in your colon but when you go to poop all that comes out is little soft shit ribbons and you still feel like that monster turd is only growing larger in your colon and when it comes out it will split you in half perhaps

12-16-2011, 03:21 AM	#2
Toby Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: the mtns Posts: 43,034	yep

12-17-2011, 10:21 PM	#27
mxzombie Braindead Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green. Posts: 15,578	what's more frustrating for me is having to exert an extreme amount of effort to squeeze out some unsatisfying pellets and leaving the bathroom still feeling like i have to shit but not having any strength or time left to devote to shitting. phew Last edited by mxzombie : 12-17-2011 at 10:35 PM.

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12-16-2011, 03:23 AM	#3
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	i knew i could count on you toby

12-16-2011, 03:34 AM	#4
Dead Frequency Minion of Satan Location: They don't know who did it, but they're looking for hardened criminals Posts: 5,960	I have faith that it'll eventually turn into the ol' prairie dog scenario at an inopportune moment. ME: Hey, how are you? I'm really glad you decided on this second date. Getting coffee and going to the park seemed like such a great idea and now I know that truly is! SECOND DATE LADY: Me too! I didn't know if I was going to be able to make it with my hectic schedule, but I agree! This is just great ME: PRAIRIE DOG SECOND DATE LADY: What's wrong? http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/68...rairie_Dog.jpg

12-16-2011, 03:43 AM	#5
Toby Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: the mtns Posts: 43,034	truth

12-16-2011, 07:25 AM	#6
teh b0lly!!1 Braindead Location: PROWLING THE BADLANDS Posts: 16,215	its even worse if when you do get it out, it dismembers halfway through. then you're indefinitely stuck with half a turd up your ass

12-16-2011, 11:49 AM	#7
ilikeplanets Socialphobic Location: Ignore List Posts: 14,104	Never underestimate the healing power of a good shit

12-16-2011, 12:30 PM	#8
samuel redman Apocalyptic Poster Location: You're 22 why aren't you free?You're 22 why aren't you free? you're mom and daddy's victory Posts: 4,876	im going to have sex, how do i get this buildup of shit out of me

12-16-2011, 12:32 PM	#9
reprise85 BOTTLEG ILLEGAL Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face Posts: 31,883	drink some milk laxatives etc

12-16-2011, 12:35 PM	#10
JokeyLoki has great self of steam. Location: SECRET OBAMA FUCKDEN RENDEZVOUS Posts: 24,312	Milk makes you more constipated, unless you're lactose intolerant. Drink coffee.

12-16-2011, 12:39 PM	#11
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	i'm going to have surgery

12-16-2011, 01:08 PM	#13
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	no kidding

12-16-2011, 01:09 PM	#14
hnibos Braindead Location: I was just reading, right? Posts: 15,020	Anal sex helps too.

12-16-2011, 01:16 PM	#15
ilikeplanets Socialphobic Location: Ignore List Posts: 14,104	Try eating fruit

12-16-2011, 02:00 PM	#16
killtrocity Saturday Night Goth Location: POLLOS Posts: 8,926	cranberry juice. nantucket nectars makes a delicious one http://blog.bombevi.com/wp-content/u...41-225x300.jpg

12-16-2011, 02:43 PM	#17
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	this isn't an advice thread and i thought cranberries were for pissing

12-16-2011, 02:49 PM	#19
cork_soaker full of longing Posts: 11,179	don't forget anal sex

12-16-2011, 02:56 PM	#21
cork_soaker full of longing Posts: 11,179	thread is gross

12-17-2011, 10:05 PM	#23
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	you know i remembered that taco bell is a really, really good laxative

12-17-2011, 10:07 PM	#24
Toby Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: the mtns Posts: 43,034	That new steak thing is actually p good

12-17-2011, 10:14 PM	#25
mxzombie Braindead Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green. Posts: 15,578	...at inducing a bowel movement

12-17-2011, 10:19 PM	#26
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	i just can't eat nothing but steak and cheese i feel like i'm trying to commit suicide

12-17-2011, 10:33 PM	#28
reprise85 BOTTLEG ILLEGAL Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face Posts: 31,883	even reading that sentence made me frustrated

12-17-2011, 10:34 PM	#29
mxzombie Braindead Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green. Posts: 15,578	was it confusing? or are you simply sympathizing

12-17-2011, 10:35 PM	#30
mxzombie Braindead Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green. Posts: 15,578	whoops, wrong tense on a verb in there. fixed it.