do you ever watch porn with your significant other?

[Eulogy]

what about hetero BDSM porn where the woman is the top. and the women who watch porn. and the women who don't give a shit about people who watch porn. this is a matter of individual hang-ups, which exist and are fine, but it is not about some inherent immoral aspect of pornography.

also the equating of sexual submission with submission outside of a sexual setting is extremely misguided.

and basically everything objectifies and misrepresents women (i don't accept that porn is automatically humiliating to women). and it's starting to do so with men although that's a pretty recent phenomenon and our society isn't deeply entrenched in that as it is in misogyny so it's not a big deal. i'm not defending that objectification. i'm just saying that porn isn't really all that different from like, People magazine.

and i don't really understand why you guys can't understand that some women enjoy sex and enjoy making porn. and that most porn is geared toward men's tastes simply because more men watch porn, not because everyone hates women.

i will be one of the first people to admit that women are still getting very, very far from a fair shake in american society. but i will not blame that on porn. because that claim is utterly unsubstantiated.

women are entitled to tell their partners not to look at porn because everyone is entitled to make their own demands. but to treat it as cheating and a dealbreaker if your boyfriend goes to a porn site so he can jack it for four minutes before he goes to bed is, yes, a little controlling and pretty unrealistic. unless he is not engaging his partner sexually and is using porn as a replacement. but that's a problem with the sex life of the partnership and shouldn't be blamed on porn either.

the reasons for these hang-ups about porn probably have a lot more to do with cultural sexual repression than they do with some built-in misogyny in porn.

[yo soy el mejor]

hi julio.

[yo soy el mejor]

maaaan, if you gotta muscle someone into doing what it takes to make you happy... i dunno. that just seems so mean. there are plenty of guys who don't give a shit about porn. go bully one of them into a relationship.

[Gossamer]

Originally Posted by Mayfuck

there you have it. and all this time i thought feminism and education were responsible for raising awareness toward violence on women. in fact it was the discovery of porn in 1950.

also we are clearly not sending enough porn to sudan

hahahha

[yo soy el mejor]

analyze me, dude.

[SuckSuckStyle]

Originally Posted by barden

any other big changes in your life around this time?

yeah i had been injecting myself with testosterone for 9 months and had the libido of a 15 year old boy. there were a couple crazy months of lots of sex and jacking off, but it peaked and now im just on the 'normal' 20-something level of hornyness.

[yo soy el mejor]

phew!

[SuckSuckStyle]

tell me about it. i jacked it like 6 times a day and was hooking up left and right. i got boners all the time it was b a n a n a s

but im good now. havent gotten laid in over a year and clean as a whistle.

i still like my nightcap, though.

[yo soy el mejor]

i used to think nightcap was just a cap you wore at night. oh boy, was i wrong!

[SuckSuckStyle]

me too i thought it was one of those uncle scrooge/elf hats that old men wear with their nightgowns when they're going to the bathroom in the middle of the night with a candle

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by SuckSuckStyle

me too i thought it was one of those uncle scrooge/elf hats that old men wear with their nightgowns when they're going to the bathroom in the middle of the night with a candle

me 2.

[yo soy el mejor]

lol @ going to the bathroom in the middle of the night with a candle

[SuckSuckStyle]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

lol @ going to the bathroom in the middle of the night with a candle

yeah one of these bad boys

http://image.shutterstock.com/displa...d-64938202.jpg

[Rairun]

I agree that everyone has the right to establish their own limits. If someone doesn't want a partner who watches porn, that's fine. I don't think anyone should be forced to do anything they aren't comfortable with. Still, that doesn't stop me from thinking they have some serious controlling tendencies.

I can't for the life of me understand loving a person and then denying them something that would make them live a more fulfilling life. And I really can't understand wanting to be with a person and then denying yourself the experience because the person jacks off to porn. I know plenty of people who feel this way about many things, people I care about and respect--but I can't help but feel that by making their loved ones choose between them and X (porn, emotional relationships with others, sexual relationships with others, etc.), they are essentially hurting someone they love out of fear and insecurity.

If you don't want your partner looking at porn, you're denying them a very personal and private expression of their sexuality just so you don't have to worry about losing them (no matter how unfounded that fear is). If you don't want your partner to have meaningful relationships with other people, you are denying them something too, simply out of fear (again, no matter how unfounded). And even if those things did increase the risk of losing your partner, I think it's kind of sad to smother someone you love because you can't face change.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by Mayfuck

take a hint, guy. no one is interested in debating anything with you.

fuck you man, your photos are awesome

[Trotskilicious]

i am going to start Porn Around the World that distributes free pornography in repressed countries

[Fellatio Mask!]

that just leads to like the eat the poo poo guy

[Trotskilicious]

so am i the only one that thinks the most paternalistic sexist on this board is Mayfuck

90% of what he says shows that he thinks women are helpless victims of men (not him)

[Fellatio Mask!]

mayfuck is very smart but occasionally a little misguided but his heart is in the right place and he is also very funny

so i'll go with misguided but i havent read this thread but i've seen him post good things about porn when people on hpn criticized him for having a sasha grey avatar

[Fellatio Mask!]

he is also a pretty bitch

[Trotskilicious]

i'll say trolling

[reprise85]

you should analyze every netphorian

[Trotskilicious]

me or s.tasty

[Fellatio Mask!]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

i'll say trolling

he's half and half like i am

and honestly, like you are. we all post hoping to get a rise out of other people and then, like, paradoxically ? we end up getting mad at each other whenever we dont recognize the difference between the real and the troll
as far as i can tell

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

me or s.tasty

both

[Trotskilicious]

yeah i guess i say obnoxious shit a lot just to see people disprove it because i don't really care that much

the defense of billy corgan calling devi ever a slur was a good example of that

then the idiot brigade rallied around my intellectual post and i had to disown it

[Trotskilicious]

when banana and mickeyshambles get on your team it's time to retire

[MyOneAndOnly]

Porn is fun.

It a

[redbreegull]

NY Times – Teaching Good Sex

This is an article from New York Times Magazine about a unique sex ed class at a Quaker school in Philly. A little long, but I highly recommend this worthwhile read. The effect of porn on kids' sexual knowledge is addressed several times.

[null123]

OK I'm back in this thread. I really wanted to give a full reply because I respect your request for an explanation. My hesitation to "debate" is due to a few things. The main reason is that porn, like many "choice"/"agency" feminist type issues, is about context. In order to discuss these issues, we have to agree about what kind of world we're living in. It's unlikely that at this point in time we see eye-to-eye on this, for one because you seem to deny the terrible rape culture we live in. If you really think a single correlation study (that can be explained away by about a million things) is anything but an outlier in the mountain of data that is daily life on planet earth, then I don't think there's a lot to talk about. So I'm just gonna leave this post here and you can take it or leave it. What you describe as women "having far from a fair shake", I describe as patriarchy, a fundamentally oppressive system that pervades basically everything about public and private and internal emotional life.

You assumed a few things about my opinion on porn that I'd like to clear up. Basically I don't believe that porn directly causes rape. I don't think it is the fundamental cause of objectification or of the reduction of women to a sex-class. Instead it is a reinforcement of this status quo, a reinforcement of the position of women, of rape culture, of men's domination over women. It validates men's preexisting sense of entitlement to the consumption of women's bodies. And it's consumed by most men every day.

Porn reinforces racist ideas too and even though I think that is a separate issue, it somehow seems to clarify the issue for some people. We don't think blackface performance causes racism - it's a symptom not the cause - but we (hopefully) don't want to live in a world where minstrel shows are okay, where people become numb to degradation and injustice.

You brought up the fact that "some women like performing in porn". This is the crux of the most fundamental split between radical feminists and the more typical liberal feminism you might come across today. Choice, especially when it comes to what gets people off, gets held up as the ultimate manifestation of freedom from oppression. To this I say that all choices are made in the context of a fundamentally oppressive and degrading culture. Women aren't born performing femininity. We aren't born pouring for the camera, suppressing our anger, hating our bodies, and having a distaste for science and politics. But many people including many "feminists" hold our ability to "choose" to be these things above all else, as if they are totally natural inborn expressions of who we really are as individual women.

Why is porn like it is? Porn is created for men, and men are its primary consumers. I don't want to talk about the platonic ideal of what porn could be - I'm talking about what turns up if you just go to redtube.com or whatever, the porn men are actually consuming. Why is that porn predicated on dominating women? Why is it that men's fantasies about women seem to be about the reinforcement of rape myths? About violence, humiliation and degradation? Because these ideas about women are alive and well. I could go into more detail here but I think I'll leave it at that.

The fast and furious reaction to vixnix's opposition to porn illustrates the fact that porn = sex in society now. Somehow if you reject porn, an objectifying fantasy of sex that fetishizes coercion, designed entirely by and for men without the involvement of women in our own portrayal, that means you are repressed or have issues with sex.