do you ever watch porn with your significant other?

[duovamp]

More like o8< >8o

[cardiac]

We don't and I've been told she considers it cheating if I do.

[duovamp]

Have you thought about hitting her?

[cardiac]

I've thought about a lot of things.

[null123]

Originally Posted by Eulogy

the type of porn thing can be a legitimate point.

but so far people are just generally saying "it's wrong" without telling me why. if you're going to assert that something is bad, wrong, or unhealthy, you have to give a reason.

because you're watching other people have sex and getting off to it, and that has implications. just like how technically your partner having safe sex with other people doesn't have any "real" objective meaning either, but most people don't like that. everyone has their lines. besides that, there's something to the idea that porn changes the way people view sex and the human body.

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand

are you sure about that?

there are 3.4 billion guys who would argue otherwise.

somehow we managed to reproduce through like 200,000 years of modern human existence without hardcore pornography.

[redbreegull]

Masturbation is a private habit. It's sexual time to yourself, that can be performed however you want it to, without need of another person (unless you want it to ******* another person). Telling a significant other that watching porn is cheating is way over the line. No one has the right to direct someone else's masturbatory habits, not even a boyfriend/girlfriend.

[Eulogy]

"it has implications"

what are they? and i'd say putting your penis in a person, even if there is a condom involved, has a pretty "real" objective meaning. namely that you are fucking a person. not watching a tv screen and touching yourself.

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

No one has the right to direct someone else's masturbatory habits, not even a boyfriend/girlfriend.

i don't think i agree with this though. as much as i disagree with the anti-porn people and think it's weird and controlling, everyone is entitled to their own dealbreakers and preferences.

but yeah, saying it's cheating seems factually wrong to me. i dunno. meh.

[null123]

Originally Posted by Eulogy

"it has implications"

what are they? and i'd say putting your penis in a person, even if there is a condom involved, has a pretty "real" objective meaning. namely that you are fucking a person. not watching a tv screen and touching yourself.

well so what if you're fucking a person? the answer is because there is a natural human desire for exclusive sexual relationships. there is nothing objectively wrong about that but we don't like it. I feel like going right to calling porn cheating is a cheap kinda way to force the issue. but for some people it violates the same desire for exclusivity.

pornification of culture is a pretty well-documented and easily observed phenomenon too and I don't really appreciate porn's influence on attitudes towards sex and particularly attitudes towards women. it's a powerful intervention in human development. like I don't really want some LA douche with a camera teaching the masses what sex is supposed to be like, often before a person even has their first kiss these days. but I don't think adults are immune to the impact either. media matters 4 america

[Ihaguitar]

I agree, most porn is lame.

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

well so what if you're fucking a person? the answer is because there is a natural human desire for exclusive sexual relationships. there is nothing objectively wrong about that but we don't like it. I feel like going right to calling porn cheating is a cheap kinda way to force the issue. but for some people it violates the same desire for exclusivity.

pornification of culture is a pretty well-documented and easily observed phenomenon too and I don't really appreciate porn's influence on attitudes towards sex and particularly attitudes towards women. it's a powerful intervention in human development. like I don't really want some LA douche with a camera teaching the masses what sex is supposed to be like, often before a person even has their first kiss these days. but I don't think adults are immune to the impact either. media matters 4 america

there are studies documenting that as internet access and porn consumption go up, sexual violence goes down. and i acknowledged that people are entitled to their own feelings and perceptions, but to validate them just because they exist is misguided. the fact is, fucking someone and watching porn are two very different things.

obviously that's not dispositive of anything but i think blaming objectification of women and misogyny on porn broadly speaking is right either.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

well so what if you're fucking a person? the answer is because there is a natural human desire for exclusive sexual relationships.

that's an opinion, no one really has any idea what humans did in the "state of nature" but personally I think the natural desire is to want to fuck lots of people, and monogamy is a cultural restraint most people have accepted. Still, there are plenty of cultures where multiple partners are normal.

Originally Posted by Charmbag

pornification of culture is a pretty well-documented and easily observed phenomenon too and I don't really appreciate porn's influence on attitudes towards sex and particularly attitudes towards women.

It's true that the pervasiveness of pornography has been a hot topic in the media in the last few decades, and it is also true that some studies claim that people find their own partners less attractive after watching porn and stuff like that. However, I think it is very difficult to measure its negative effect on female status/role/assumptions/whatevers in society when it has only really seen fruition contemporary to the mass feminist movements of the 20th century. Feminist attitudes have elevated women in Western society (and elsewhere in varying degrees) farther and faster than arguably anywhere else in history... so when you consider that women have, in general, far more freedom, opportunity, and perceived cultural equality than a hundred years ago, it seems difficult to really tell how much negative drag pornography and other exploitative media forms have. I agree in general that media gives females, especially young girls, all sorts of complexes and image issues, I'm just not really convinced that porn is an evil, anti-feminist practice that works only to disenfranchise women.

Originally Posted by Charmbag

it's a powerful intervention in human development. like I don't really want some LA douche with a camera teaching the masses what sex is supposed to be like, often before a person even has their first kiss these days. but I don't think adults are immune to the impact either. media matters 4 america

Yes, but is it really more powerful than trashy magazines like cosmo, kids' media which only portrays thin, attractive people despite the fact that the actors themselves are likely kids, sheer false information passed to young people by other young people (sexual rumors/urban myths which have no other basis than ignorant speculation and desire to shock), conservative sexual attitudes which repress normal sexual desire and behavior, Hollywood depictions of sex (which are often even more off-base and unrealistic than pornography), etc.? Again, I agree with you in a general sense that media has negative impacts on the image of women in our society, but I don't really believe that most people get their dominant ideas about sex and sexuality from porn. There are many more powerful factors.

[null123]

Originally Posted by Eulogy

there are studies documenting that as internet access and porn consumption go up, sexual violence goes down.

don't even know where to begin with this. point me to the study and I'll try to be open minded.

and i acknowledged that people are entitled to their own feelings and perceptions, but to validate them just because they exist is misguided.

isn't that exactly what you're doing wrt the desire to watch porn in the first place?

the fact is, fucking someone and watching porn are two very different things.

totally agree here

obviously that's not dispositive of anything but i think blaming objectification of women and misogyny on porn broadly speaking is right either.

well it's not like without porn the world would be righted. but there is a lot of evidence to support the argument that it is damaging, and if we wanna have a megathread I guess we could go there. I respect your opinion but women don't have to be okay with porn alright. fuck you.

[null123]

I'm not reading that shit, redbreegull

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

don't even know where to begin with this. point me to the study and I'll try to be open minded.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...y-side-of-smut

http://anthonydamato.law.northwester...files/porn.pdf

isn't that exactly what you're doing wrt the desire to watch porn in the first place?

No, because I am not making an assertion about its moral qualities. It isn't good or bad (unless there is something objectionable in the way it's made). I'm not assigning a moral value to it so I don't need to justify such an assignation. You are.

well it's not like without porn the world would be righted. but there is a lot of evidence to support the argument that it is damaging, and if we wanna have a megathread I guess we could go there. I respect your opinion but women don't have to be okay with porn alright. fuck you.

i'm willing to read that evidence. but you haven't even alluded to what it is. so...

[barden]

sometimes i just see wanna see a bitch kiss a dick that isn't mine.
Then I get bored of that part and fast forward.
Cause really, who wants to see some other dudes dick up close? ugh, this isn't eulogy porn, man!

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

I'm not reading that shit, redbreegull

you realize that it would take probably 1 minute to read the entire thing? fuck the ADD generation

[ravenguy2000]

Sometimes when we're bro-ing out I'll bring up xtube and we'll try to watch things together. But you have to go through like 20 horrible videos to get to one good one and I just feel a lot of pressure. Like I'm not finding an entertaining one fast enough or I'm skipping over something he wants to watch. And then it just turns into some sort of weird head game for me and I can't enjoy it.

So then I get frustrated and turn it off and ask if he wants to cuddle.

[SuckSuckStyle]

i didnt start watching porn or masturbating until i was 25.

[Gossamer]

If I didn't discover porn or masturbation at 12 years old I would probably be a rocket scientist right now and most forms of cancer would also be cured.

[supermaid]

the cure to cancer lies in rocket science

[Gossamer]

most likely

[Luke de Spa]

Originally Posted by Eulogy

No, because I am not making an assertion about its moral qualities. It isn't good or bad (unless there is something objectionable in the way it's made).

are you serious

[Luke de Spa]

ugh nevermind

quite the boarding dilemma i'm facing here. dammit eulogy

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by Luke de Spa

ugh nevermind

quite the boarding dilemma i'm facing here. dammit eulogy

i mean

what

are you annoyed with the size of the caveat? or do you think all porn is immoral? you gotta at least give me an idea of where you're coming from here.

[barden]

Originally Posted by SuckSuckStyle

i didnt start watching porn or masturbating until i was 25.

any other big changes in your life around this time?

[Starla]

porn is boring. just take out your dick and let's get going lol :X

[null123]

yeah I am not sure I wanna go into this right now. a quick search on most radical feminist blogs would give you a few decent arguments against porn in general.

[Eulogy]

oh

well in that case

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by Charmbag

somehow we managed to reproduce through like 200,000 years of modern human existence without hardcore pornography.

not nearly as quickly though!