Have you ever been with a prostitute?

[Luke de Spa]

Originally Posted by bahnzah

this doesn't surprise me considering you're a good looking dude who probably gets laid on at least a semi-regular basis.

nope. requires having extremely tedious conversations. i have standers

[Eric Blair]

It has been scientifically proven that you are more likely to use a hooker if you can't hold a conversation longer than three minutes.

[killtrocity]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

one time i was driving and[...]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6ScuEI7Zx4...s320/gerry.jpg
Sorry, but I picture this guy and the story becomes hilarious /

[ilikeplanets]

No way. It's so base...once the money thing was about to happen I would laugh and walk away.

[Dead Frequency]

Haha and then get knifed

[jotty]

Actually, I haven't been with a prostitute. I get my own girls.

[Dead Frequency]

Cool story bro

[ATS]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

one time i was driving and my car broke down. i didn't have a cellphone so i walked a few miles to my friend drew's house (he's usually always at home). anyway he wasn't there so i was like fuuuuuuck. i started walking not even knowing where i was headed. it was probs like midnight.

so i head in the direction of a bar figuring i could use their landline or whatevs. this nice little indian man drives by and is all like 'hey do you need a ride'. i was like >_>, <_< 'yes just a few miles down the road. my car broke down and im pretty much stranded'. once i got in i asked his name and made small talk cause i heard killers have a harder time killing people if they talk. i dunno. whatever. all the sudden this asshole offers me money to have sex with him. im like OH HELL NO. DROP ME OFF HERE. suddenly he turns when he shouldnt saying i dont need to have sex with him, just let him have his way with me for like $50. wts. i was freaking out saying 'please just let me out'. finally he is coming up to a red light and once he's going slow enough i open the door to run away but he speeds up causing me to fall. i jumped up and starting running. lol

so i get to the bar and call the police and my friend to come get me. i was crying n shit. the bar gave me free drinks. when the cops showed up they asked me all sorts of questions and one was 'are you a prostitute?'. i was so mad. i mean, look at me!

how r u still alive

[yo soy el mejor]

god.

[killtrocity]

Originally Posted by jotty

Actually, I haven't been with a prostitute. I get my own girls.

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e1...g?t=1298789261

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by Dead Frequency

Haha and then get knifed

Nah, I mean once I remembered I was supposed to pay for uh, services I would realize how atrocious that is. Paying money to fuck some sleeze bag with diseases...perpetuating a cycle of indulgence and stupidity. Not gonna buy someone like that.

[slunken]

i once dated a girl that liked prostitution fantasies does that count?

[killtrocity]

Absolutely

[slunken]

ah but the poll is if i've ever paid for sex so i guess it doesn't matter. but then again don't we all pay for sex? think about it won't you thank you.

[Toby]

Originally Posted by slunken

i once dated a girl that liked prostitution fantasies does that count?

that's pretty hot.

[Toby]

did she like getting treated like a 2 dollar hooker?

[duovamp]

I think we can all agree that girls who dress like prostitutes are fucking awesome and appreciated by creepers everywhere.

Actual prostitutes are scary to me. I'd be afraid of letting a woman I don't know/trust well touch my penis.

[Elvis The Fat Years]

Originally Posted by slunken

i once dated a girl that liked prostitution fantasies does that count?

What's her Facebook?

[Toby]

Originally Posted by duovamp

I'd be afraid of letting a woman I don't know/trust well touch my penis.

take her out to eat first

[duovamp]

Hmm. That would solve my fear problem quite well, actually.


You're a godsend.

[Trotskilicious]

k so I used to work with guy at a pizza joint that eventually started working for a puerto rican elvis impersonater/pimp delivering girls. I rolled with him a few times, just because he invited and I like to see true crime. If there's a hotel you think looks run down and seedy it's running hoes out of it, but even "nice" ones on the interstate are ho-filled. Anywho, most of these girls were gutter trash or retarded. One of them was all snooty because i asked if she knew where to get some weed (an eternal question in my world), "I don't do drugs." I wanted to say "Well I don't suck dicks for money," but I thought that would be misogynistic.

There was one though that was fine as shit. She said some interesting things too, pretty smart & organized, she was a whore and she liked it. One thing she told me is that a lot of times guys just like to cry into her tits, like it happened a few times a month or so.

[fluxequalsrad]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

a lot of times guys just like to cry into her tits, like it happened a few times a month or so.

I would feel less emasculated if I had my cock and balls cut off.

[hnibos]

i was in honduras. 16, 17 years old maybe. i usually go out with some my uncles (i ******* the ones married to my aunts). one uncle in particular is/was a baller. I was pretty sure he sold cocaine and thats how he got all his money. when i first met him a few years before that he was a bum, now he owned multiple houses/cars whatever. well one night they take me to a nightclub. got drunk, then this rich uncle (married to my aunt). was like, lets go henry.


me: where are we going?

uncle:we got something important to do come on.

*pull out into the street*

uncle: check out this girl walking she my friend

me: ok.

uncle: i think she needs a ride.

me: ok

*picks her up, pulls into a motel*

at this point i realized what was going on. hey im not your real uncle but im a cool guy, like me please. we pull into the office, he pays, he asks for condoms, they only have one. we walk to the room where she is, and oh man, did she stink. she was naked and she straight up reeked of old cheese or something. he told her to suck my dick but she didnt want to because i was too young. she eventually gave in and went down on me. i didnt really get hard. she stopped and then my uncle, married to my real aunt who is pregnant, fucks the shit out of her. and im just standing there, drunk with my dick in my hand.

the incident was never mentioned. i didnt really feel as weird about it as i should have, looking back at it. i think i told my brother, but thats about it. guy ended up getting arrested a year or two ago in colombia. he and some of his people got caught for possession. not really clear on the details but, it turns out he was wanted in the states as well for something, i think hes in some prison in baltimore. devastated the whole family.

[Order 66]

honduras is the shit. though i hate how the locals always try to steal from you but i guess thats anywhere central/south america if youre white

[Mooney]

Originally Posted by hnibos

i was in honduras. 16, 17 years old maybe. i usually go out with some my uncles (i ******* the ones married to my aunts). one uncle in particular is/was a baller. I was pretty sure he sold cocaine and thats how he got all his money. when i first met him a few years before that he was a bum, now he owned multiple houses/cars whatever. well one night they take me to a nightclub. got drunk, then this rich uncle (married to my aunt). was like, lets go henry.


me: where are we going?

uncle:we got something important to do come on.

*pull out into the street*

uncle: check out this girl walking she my friend

me: ok.

uncle: i think she needs a ride.

me: ok

*picks her up, pulls into a motel*

at this point i realized what was going on. hey im not your real uncle but im a cool guy, like me please. we pull into the office, he pays, he asks for condoms, they only have one. we walk to the room where she is, and oh man, did she stink. she was naked and she straight up reeked of old cheese or something. he told her to suck my dick but she didnt want to because i was too young. she eventually gave in and went down on me. i didnt really get hard. she stopped and then my uncle, married to my real aunt who is pregnant, fucks the shit out of her. and im just standing there, drunk with my dick in my hand.

the incident was never mentioned. i didnt really feel as weird about it as i should have, looking back at it. i think i told my brother, but thats about it. guy ended up getting arrested a year or two ago in colombia. he and some of his people got caught for possession. not really clear on the details but, it turns out he was wanted in the states as well for something, i think hes in some prison in baltimore. devastated the whole family.

no wonder you don't enjoy sex with women.

[hnibos]

theres no safe haven for gringos except maybe the bay islands.

Originally Posted by Mooney

no wonder you don't enjoy sex with women.

i think by 16, 17 things are pretty much set in stone.

[bahnzah]

Originally Posted by hnibos

i was in honduras. 16, 17 years old maybe. i usually go out with some my uncles (i ******* the ones married to my aunts). one uncle in particular is/was a baller. I was pretty sure he sold cocaine and thats how he got all his money. when i first met him a few years before that he was a bum, now he owned multiple houses/cars whatever. well one night they take me to a nightclub. got drunk, then this rich uncle (married to my aunt). was like, lets go henry.


me: where are we going?

uncle:we got something important to do come on.

*pull out into the street*

uncle: check out this girl walking she my friend

me: ok.

uncle: i think she needs a ride.

me: ok

*picks her up, pulls into a motel*

at this point i realized what was going on. hey im not your real uncle but im a cool guy, like me please. we pull into the office, he pays, he asks for condoms, they only have one. we walk to the room where she is, and oh man, did she stink. she was naked and she straight up reeked of old cheese or something. he told her to suck my dick but she didnt want to because i was too young. she eventually gave in and went down on me. i didnt really get hard. she stopped and then my uncle, married to my real aunt who is pregnant, fucks the shit out of her. and im just standing there, drunk with my dick in my hand.

the incident was never mentioned. i didnt really feel as weird about it as i should have, looking back at it. i think i told my brother, but thats about it. guy ended up getting arrested a year or two ago in colombia. he and some of his people got caught for possession. not really clear on the details but, it turns out he was wanted in the states as well for something, i think hes in some prison in baltimore. devastated the whole family.

lucky....

[hnibos]

up until that point all id ever done was kiss a girl on the lips. at like 13. still dont think it had that much of an effect on me.

[slunken]

Originally Posted by Toby

did she like getting treated like a 2 dollar hooker?

yes. she would show up at my house at 5 in the morning coked out her mind wearing a trench coat and heels with red lingerie underneath. she sang like a bird too. o/*

one time we had sex so hard we killed her puppy.

Originally Posted by Elvis The Fat Years

What's her Facebook?

i've completely forgotten her last name. her first name was keneisha and she was a model. that's all i remember about her. same year i got my dui and i blame her for it.

[exactlythesame]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

One thing she told me is that a lot of times guys just like to cry into her tits, like it happened a few times a month or so.

was this palahniuk's "bob" character