Obama and fantasy football

[Debaser]

i'm easily amused....

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/st...ine&id=3653401

LIFE OF REILLY
I needed to know: can Obama pick a fantasy team? So I asked him.
by Rick Reilly

I have the absolute worst fantasy league football partner. Just try to get the guy to return a call. Or a text. You need a damn court order.

He's Barack Obama. And, yeah, I guess he's busy, but why was I the one who had to fly to Dayton, get frisked and have bomb dogs drool on my bags just so I could meet him getting off his tricked-out, chartered 757? He can't meet a guy halfway?

I asked each candidate to be my running mate for one week in a fantasy league, just to see what kind of president he'd make—how he'd handle decisions under pressure and balance a budget. (On espn.com's Gridiron Challenge, you get a mystical $50M to spend on a team.) Only Obama bit. We settled on the Week 6 games.

Still, you talk about bossy. I thought he'd let the professional sportswriter do most of the picking while the wonk occasionally looked up from some Pakistan brief and nodded. Yeah, not exactly. When I got on his campaign bus, all three flat screens were tuned to ESPN. Obama was sitting in a black leather swivel chair, reading the paper. "Hey, man, I'll be with you in a second," he said. "I'm poring over the latest economic news." It was the USA Today NFL stats page.

He is taller, grayer and quicker to laugh than I expected. Moves sort of like an athlete—cool and smooth. "Now, you're the expert," he began. "And I'll gladly be the junior partner in this, but I really think we should take Drew Brees. He could have a big week. Oakland's secondary is a wreck."

Ohhhh, so that's how it's going to be. "Well, I like Carson Palmer," I said. "He's due for a big week, plus he plays in Ohio and I figure that's a state you need, so …"

He looked at me like I'd stuck my elbow in his soup. "Man, this is more important than politics!" he insisted. "This is football!"

This is a man who could potentially audit me forever. We paid $7.3M for Brees.

He wanted Clinton Portis. I wanted Adrian Peterson. We took Portis ($6.6M). He wanted Brandon Marshall. I wanted Bernard Berrian. We took Marshall ($5.7M).

Doesn't work well with others. Check.

Have to admit, though, he knows his stuff. Turns out, he played a little. He was a tight end in ninth grade until a coach told him to "trample" an opponent's back. He gave up football for hoops. In 2004, when Mike Ditka considered running against him for Senate, Obama—remembering how Ditka let William Perry score a Super Bowl TD instead of Walter Payton—said that "anybody who would give the ball to Refrigerator Perry instead of Sweetness doesn't have very good judgment." Ditka didn't run. "Too bad," Obama says. "We were hoping he would."

Likes to bait Hall of Famers. Check.

It took us 30 minutes to pick nine slots. The man was into it. I said I'd need to talk to him the following week about how we did.

"Cool," he said. "How's Tuesday?"

"Sorry," I said. "Getting married Tuesday."

He looked stunned. "Who'd marry you?"

Wise guy. Check.

We wound up in a dark tunnel under Fifth Third Field in Dayton for a campaign event. He was telling me a story about throwing out a first pitch when suddenly

I heard over the PA system, "… the next president of the United States, Barack Obama!" He looked at me, said, "Gotta go!" and sprinted up some steps to a thunderclap of a roar.

Afterward, while signing books, he asked if I thought we'd win. "Win?" I said. "There's like a gazillion teams in this thing!"

He glared a hole in me. "You think we're just messing around?"

Then Sunday came. Man, did he get lucky. The guys he made us choose—Brees and Portis—went nuts. The guys I wanted, not so much. We finished 32,190th for the week. But wait! That put us in the 81.2 percentile, which means we beat four out of five teams!

Of course, he already knew. Because, like so many Americans, he was checking the fantasy stats all day, even while he was supposed to be prepping for his final debate. He e-mailed to say he wished he had followed my advice on Berrian (who smoked Marshall), but he was "pumped up" about our numbers. And he congratulated the newlyweds.

I e-mailed back and said that if he wins this election, the ambassadorship to Tahiti would make a nice wedding present.

[Debaser]

carson palmer? the fuck is wrong with Reilly?

[KrazeeStacee]

hahahah That's awesome.

[maoi]

can we just make this man president already

[Banana]

Isn't Palmer out with injury?

[KrazeeStacee]

Originally Posted by maoi

can we just make this man president already

THANK YOU

[duovamp]

He's a man who likes to win. I can respect that.

[duovamp]

I still think Kucinich > Obama though...

[Debaser]

oldie, but goodie:
http://www.digitaljournalist.org/iss.../callie/18.jpg
Two staffers had just passed this site and done two pull-ups. Not to be outdone, Obama did three with ease, dropped and walked out to make a speech. Missoula, Mont., 4/5/2008.

[KrazeeStacee]

Originally Posted by Debaser

oldie, but goodie:
http://www.digitaljournalist.org/iss.../callie/18.jpg
Two staffers had just passed this site and done two pull-ups. Not to be outdone, Obama did three with ease, dropped and walked out to make a speech. Missoula, Mont., 4/5/2008.

[suncrashesdown]

Obama is the coolest

[KrazeeStacee]

He really is.

I'm sitting here with my 7-11 Obama coffee...which I'm pretty sure pissed off my boss

[suncrashesdown]

There's some place downtown close to the loop that sells frozen yogurt that is doing the same kind of fakey poll thing as 7-11. Obama was pretty well ahead, which was surprising, considering the McCain yogurt had way more delicious toppings. Strawberries on frozen yogurt are way tastier than blueberries. I got the Obama one anyhow. Leave it to the liberal elite frozen yogurt cabal to pull out extra support for their candidate.

[KrazeeStacee]

lolol That's too funny. Although, I have to disagree about the blueberries...

[Debaser]

http://i37.tinypic.com/t06vlg.jpg

[duovamp]

"Say hello to your mother for me."

[Travis Meeks]

I just set that picture as my wallpaper. Awesome.

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by Debaser

oldie, but goodie:
http://www.digitaljournalist.org/iss.../callie/18.jpg
Two staffers had just passed this site and done two pull-ups. Not to be outdone, Obama did three with ease, dropped and walked out to make a speech. Missoula, Mont., 4/5/2008.

You're right. Besides his ability to predict fantasy football performances, he can do three pull ups. He should be made Emperor. Then again, by those qualifications, Howie Long should be as well.

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by Debaser

http://i37.tinypic.com/t06vlg.jpg

"Your mind to my mind. Your thoughts to my thoughts."

[BlissedandGone2]

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

You're right. Besides his ability to predict fantasy football performances, he can do three pull ups. He should be made Emperor. Then again, by those qualifications, Howie Long should be as well.

you're such an idiot. its awesome.

[Mo]

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

"Your mind to my mind. Your thoughts to my thoughts."

[Debaser]

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/1...016717ink9.jpg

[KrazeeStacee]

I saw that earlier. That's hilariously awesome on so many levels.

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by BlissedandGone2

you're such an idiot. its awesome.

Gee, I'm sorry. Maybe we should focus on the qualities that would make someone a good president. Or on issues. I couldn't give two shits whether he can do 2 or 5 pull-ups.

[KrazeeStacee]

People got tired of talking about his presidential qualities a long time ago. Now we're just giddy.



Has anyone here not seen yeswecanholdbabies? And you guys know I don't even like babies!



http://yeswecanholdbabies.wordpress.com/

[Debaser]

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

Gee, I'm sorry. Maybe we should focus on the qualities that would make someone a good president. Or on issues. I couldn't give two shits whether he can do 2 or 5 pull-ups.

kinda weird coming from a guy who won't stop harping on the conspiracy theory that Obama's birth certificate is fake.

Maybe you can't tell yet, but from the very first post, this is a thread of levity.

Kind of an oblique point:
Christ, I can't believe I'm referencing fucking Seth Meyers, but in an interview today he brought up that Republicans are usually a lot more "game" to do anything on SNL while Democrats are usually a bit less willing to go for it.

When asked why, he said it's because Democrats are worried that Republicans might take what they do and hammer them for it, while Republicans know that Democrats won't.

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by KrazeeStacee

People got tired of talking about his presidential qualities a long time ago. Now we're just giddy.

I'm pretty sure the media hasn't really touched any of the important issues or qualities of leadership. They're too focused on polls, platitudes and unimportant trivia like who can shoot baskets and how much someone paid for their dress.

[Debaser]

quit acting like you actually care about the "important issues or qualities of leadership".

go pretend to do so in a different thread.

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by Debaser

fuck it, i want to keep this light
Kinda weird coming from a guy who won't stop harping on the conspiracy theory that Obama's birth certificate is fake.

Maybe you can't tell yet, but from the very first post, this is a thread of levity.

Well that would at least be an actual issue that relates to the Constitution, and it was/is a court case, not just a "Conspiracy theory."

Originally Posted by Debaser

Kind of an oblique point:
Christ, I can't believe I'm referencing fucking Seth Meyers, but in an interview today he brought up that Republicans are usually a lot more "game" to do anything on SNL while Democrats are usually a bit less willing to go for it.

When asked why, he said it's because Democrats are worried that Republicans might take what they do and hammer them for it, while Republicans know that Democrats won't.

Well yeah. Seth Meyers says that because he's a Democrat, and believes his party is above the "dirty tricks" of the other side (which of course, they aren't). There have been plenty of Dems on that show in the past - Hillary Clinton was on not too long ago.

If Meyers were a Republican he could simply have said that Republicans come on because they're trying to get equal time, because they get hit a lot harder than Democrats, and he'd be just as correct.

[Debaser]

bah you're projecting