tips for living with significant others

[T&T]

i get it now.
but there's no need to encourage dem boyz
let them get away with it now, it's only downhill

[BumbleBeeMouth]

but chastise them like you are their mother and they will behave like a child.

[Caine Walker]

i lived with my ex and it worked pretty well as far upkeep of the apartment. i had a separate room for all of my stuff, so most of my crap was contained and he didn't really have to deal with it. we cleaned up after each other, he cooked and i did dishes, i took out the trash, blah blah blah. it worked well as a living situation. it was just the relationship that went to hell.

[PeppermintHippo]

Originally Posted by sickbadthing

this will end in disaster.

not as funny as toby's disaster though.

please be sure to give us the details bardy.

disaster was the best choice of words here.

[PeppermintHippo]

I didn't find it all that funny tho

[bardy]

he is actually probably cleaner than I am, but in a different way. He doesnt like cleaning for long periods of time so he makes sure he keeps everything in its place. Doing dishes when he uses them, putting his clothes up, making sure nothing is on the floor, keeping a scrub brush in the shower (I can only imagine what he looks like scrubbing the tile naked)

but I am more umm... I clean once a week and I do a really thorough job of it. He doesn't really dust or get into nooks and crannies. I feel like he will probably keep things somewhat tidy during the week (time will tell how annoyed he might be at my habit of leaving my clothes on the closet and bathroom floor) and I will make sure the nooks and crannies dont collect gross stuff.

we'll see how that works out. I am just guessing. In college I always ended up cleaning up after my roommates and it didn't bother me much. I actually kind of enjoyed it. I DID NOT enjoy doing anyone elses dishes. MAN I HATE DOING DISHES.

[Travis Meeks]

Originally Posted by bardy

we'll see how that works out.

OK great, thanks for the background info. Be sure to keep us posted with any dusting developments!

[pink_ribbon_scars]

i love our dish washing machine. it's the first time in my life i've ever had one, and i think it will be hard to go back to hand washing if i ever have to make the switch.

[commando]

Originally Posted by BumbleBeeMouth

but chastise them like you are their mother and they will behave like a child.

I'm easy going (in real life-- not so much on here) and for that reason girls tend to walk all over me. They get that motherly tone and chastise me like I'm seven when they're not happy with me. However, they should never have taken my kindness for weakness because I also have a latent but scorching authority problem and when the lectures and inequality start, that's when I know the bitch is over.

Ladies, take that FWIW-- don't take your laid back boyfriend for granted or you'll wind up with the asshole you deserve.

[Travis Meeks]

Originally Posted by pink_ribbon_scars

i love our dish washing machine. it's the first time in my life i've ever had one, and i think it will be hard to go back to hand washing if i ever have to make the switch.

"The dishes washed good in the washing machine"
-Beck

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by pink_ribbon_scars

if he's not super clean, and if having him help out with the housework is a big deal to you, you want to establish that up-front and figure out a few tasks for him to own. my boyfriend is lazy as hell at helping out around the house, and it drives me mad. despite my "please help me regularly because it would help a lot, and make me more chilled out, plus you really do own part of the responsibility" conversations, he's still useless about it because cleaning isn't important to him. i waited too long and now i am stuck with someone that i love and cherish who has gotten used to me doing ALL of the housework. i could type more about it but i won't bother.

women need to stop trying to change men into thinking what they think is important is what everyone should think is important

[commando]

Yeah that's what I was thinking. Might be time for a "if you chill the fk out and get off my ass about the chores it will chill me out and make me like you better, opening the door for me to be motivated to help you out with what's important to you out of love" conversation.

[BumbleBeeMouth]

ok thats two times you've typed what ive typed... i think i need to assess myself.

[wHATcOLOR]

Originally Posted by pink_ribbon_scars

i waited too long and now i am stuck with someone that i love and cherish who has gotten used to me doing ALL of the housework.

abstracting from the issue at hand, that phrasing would probably bother me if it were said about me. the 'stuck with' part.

maybe it's just a connotation/semantic thing. but it seems like there's always a choice, and if someone is truly feeling stuck, they have the option to change/address that. again, i'm not really viewing this in the context of cleanliness preferences, but more generally

[Mo]

del

[pink_ribbon_scars]

Originally Posted by wHATcOLOR

abstracting from the issue at hand, that phrasing would probably bother me if it were said about me. the 'stuck with' part.

maybe it's just a connotation/semantic thing. but it seems like there's always a choice, and if someone is truly feeling stuck, they have the option to change/address that. again, i'm not really viewing this in the context of cleanliness preferences, but more generally

i think it's a matter of semantics. i'm "stuck with him" because i think he's fantastic and nothing so minor as being unclean and refusing to clean could get me to unstick myself from him. but i'm not really in the mood to justify myself any further, and i understand what you're saying.

[wHATcOLOR]

got it

[Travis Meeks]

Originally Posted by pink_ribbon_scars

i think it's a matter of semantics. i'm "stuck with him" because i think he's fantastic and nothing so minor as being unclean and refusing to clean could get me to unstick myself from him. but i'm not really in the mood to justify myself any further, and i understand what you're saying.

While dusting does he get inside the nook and crannies?

[blackfaerie]

realize that he'll get around to things in his own time, but make sure time is set aside to get them done (i.e. his days off, vacation, etc.)

agree to chores. i know with my boyfriend, in the summer he does the outside stuff, i do the inside. in the winter, we both do the inside stuff. also, i usually cook and he's responsible for the dishes (because like you, i *hate* doing dishes).

surprise him with stuff. i'll get the laundry done before he comes home. or start dinner so it's ready for when he shows up.

and whoever said to not go shopping together? that's bull. remember, he has to live there too so unless he's willing to just hand over the credit card and let you go mad, make sure he's included in most of the decisions.

[Caine Walker]

Originally Posted by blackfaerie

or start dinner so it's ready for when he shows up.

this is the best.

[sickbadthing]

i'm so glad netphoria is here to help me figure out life and shit

[wHATcOLOR]

Originally Posted by blackfaerie

realize that he'll get around to things in his own time

i'm glad you see it this way. because let's be honest, it'd be pretty hypocritical for you to get upset with him for just hanging around, am i right?



bah-dum-CHHHH!!!

[blackfaerie]

Originally Posted by wHATcOLOR

i'm glad you see it this way. because let's be honest, it'd be pretty hypocritical for you to get upset with him for just hanging around, am i right?



bah-dum-CHHHH!!!

i am amused.

[blackfaerie]

Originally Posted by Caine Walker

this is the best.

'cause i likes a-cookin'!

[wHATcOLOR]

Originally Posted by blackfaerie

i am amused.

well then i shall sleep soundly tonight

*gouges out eyes*

[blackfaerie]

[pink_ribbon_scars]

i love you guys

[Nimrod's Son]

i hope my future wife wants her own bedoom. we can share the kitchen and living room

[Lucy Sky Diamonds]

Originally Posted by blackfaerie

or start dinner so it's ready for when he shows up.

My boyfriend does this and I just adore him for this. He works normal hours (and lives alone) while I work noon-8pm (and live with a roommate) so we hang out at his place a lot more. And most of the time, dinner is almost ready when I ring his doorbell. God that's hot. I do all the dishes after.

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by Lucy Sky Diamonds

dinner is almost ready when I ring his doorbell. God that's hot.