Indiana Jones thread

[Mo]

It is. Thank God Young Indy died from an overdose.

[Nimrod's Son]

Originally Posted by topleybird

Watch Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's the essential one, and you may not completely understand what's going on in the new one without it. I'm sure they'll explain things a little since it's been twenty-some-odd years, but people and things from that first movie will be appearing in the Crystal Skull.

I recently rewatched Last Crusade and holy hell that intro with Young Indiana Jones is embarrassing. Every! Single! Characterstic, mannerism, or identifying article of clothing that the adult Indy has, he acquired through a single, ten-or-twenty-minute adventure in his youth! Isn't that funny?

Well that was Lucas' first attempt at "gee maybe I can make a whole new franchise here...."

[ravenguy2000]

Lucky for me most of my memories of Indy were watching reruns on TBS and starting about 15 minutes in. So kinda sucked for Raiders but let's me pretend that bit in Last Crusade never happened.

[Sam Vimes]

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

Well that was Lucas' first attempt at "gee maybe I can make a whole new franchise here...."

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...0106_2_bg.jpeg


Hahaha.

[Caine Walker]

burger king just launched a *new* burger in conjuction with the release of this movie.

netphoria, i give you the Indy Double Whopper: pepperjack cheese, bacon, a spicy mayo and two whopper patties.

hooray for marketing.


oh, and temple of doom was my favorite. but the kali-ma part still freaks me out every time.

[jczeroman]

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

how could anyone have never seen any of the indy or godfather flicks?

I have not seen the godfather films.

[Caine Walker]

me either.

[Caine Walker]

edit: nevermind.

[Nimrod's Son]

where is strange_one? someone needs to spend $300 on this piece of crap
http://www.sideshowtoy.com/?page_id=...ffiliate=CD988

[Eulogy]

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

where is strange_one? someone needs to spend $300 on this piece of crap
http://www.sideshowtoy.com/?page_id=...ffiliate=CD988

i dunno, but i bet he still has a condom on lolololololol

[ravenguy2000]

would it be retarded to go at midnight?

I mean I'm pumped but I'd mostly be going just to say I did. I have nothing to do tomorrow so I guess it wouldn't kill me.

Eh. I'll probably just go to an early show tomorrow.

[pale blue eyes]

I'm probably going Saturday. I could see a late morning show tomorrow if I really wanted to but I don't want to see it that badly.

[myosis]

Originally Posted by topleybird

I recently rewatched Last Crusade and holy hell that intro with Young Indiana Jones is embarrassing. Every! Single! Characterstic, mannerism, or identifying article of clothing that the adult Indy has, he acquired through a single, ten-or-twenty-minute adventure in his youth! Isn't that funny?

the point of the whole saga is to be cliché, so that didn't bother me

[killtrocity]

Originally Posted by topleybird

I recently rewatched Last Crusade and holy hell that intro with Young Indiana Jones is embarrassing. Every! Single! Characterstic, mannerism, or identifying article of clothing that the adult Indy has, he acquired through a single, ten-or-twenty-minute adventure in his youth! Isn't that funny?

now that you mention it, this seems like an ominous foreshadowing of what would be the star wars prequel trilogy


JON VOIGHT'S BALLSACK

[flyfire]

Originally Posted by ChaosEffect

Spielberg is there to save him.





Hopefully.

Yeah he does. I had low expectations going in but much better than expected. Spielberg doesn't try to cover for Ford's age and there are many great moments. Raiders is still the best one.

[SlingeroGuitaro]

ugh. pretty bad

[Caine Walker]

should i bother with this movie or not?

[???]

i haven't seen the movie yet but karen allen looks amazing after twenty five years

[???]

ps. can we have some spoilers yet

[Sam Vimes]

indy dies.

[Caine Walker]

liar.


























really?

[SlingeroGuitaro]

spoilers here

highlight if you dont want to click the link

*****spoilers******

I've tried for the past hour or so to condense my reaction to Crystal Skull into a meaningful dialogue meant to demonstrate my passion as a fan of Indiana Jones and my sincere, breathless disappointment at viewing Crystal Skull. I could likely go on for hours, but I feel like being succinct in my thoughts is the only way for the forum. So, perhaps I'll jump around and see what happens.

I enjoyed parts of Crystal Skull. I guffawed and yelled and smiled often, especially within the first half hour. I did my best to enjoy anything I could. The audience was roaring quite often, but about the time Marion popped up on screen, I felt achingly embarassed.

One of the most infuriating parts of Skull is it's relentless slapstick humor. The prairie dogs, the monkeys, Mutt getting thwacked in the groin several times, the snake and the quicksand; it was almost never-ending, and at the worst possible times. No wonder some have felt the void of real danger or peril. There's too much bloody bafoonery undercutting any moment of danger or jeopardy. It was tacky.

Marion's inclusion is an abortion. She's reduced to a prop within ten minutes, and there is absolutely no purpose or interest in her presence. She is cardboard. In fact, in terms of chemistry, the only banter that serves to enliven any part of the film exists between Mutt and Indiana. I found myself enjoying Shia's presence, but his penchant for straightening his hair at inappropriate times became a tired joke before it began.

As suspected, Indiana draws his weapon only once--but he never fires a single damn shot in the entire film. Even worse, when he does draw his pistol, it's to frighten a cemetary warrior away--a villain who had moments ago been armed with poisonous darts and backup. The warriors in this scene and the natives featured later on exist for seconds and serve no purpose except to provide quick and lame suspense. They are of NO consequence whatsoever. They are easily scared away. One of the warriors provides Jones his only kill too, by way of reverse poisonous dart--but since when are darts double sided?

The opening is one of the best parts of the film -- except that some of the soldiers take extra, extra time to fire on Jones when they have him point blank in their sights -- but the prairie dogs (used thrice, like Mutt's ill-timed hair styling in the rule of threes) are useless, bland, and as glaringly fake as the monkeys featured later on. I tried to tell myself that Mutt's Tarazan impression wasn't as bad as it was being made out to be, but it's worse. So worse that the monkeys that inspire Mutt to vine his way back into the chase actually start to attack the villains with carefully guided prejudice all by themselves.

The atom bomb is nifty (the fridge is lame -- so lame that later on a character has to remind Indy about it to somehow bolster the fact that it was probable and also not-lame), but it only signals the staggering amount of CGI we'll soon witness in later acts. Entire sequences are comprised of it. It just doesn't look right. We could taste the hyper reality of Raiders, Doom, and Crusade. Here it's like biting into plastic. If you can't do it practically, why do it at all. The special effects of the latter films were never huge, they never comprised entire worlds--the matte paintings, wrecked planes, the angels of death, they were all there to compliment the existing realities. Here Indiana watches an entire CGI valley implode as a CGI UFO takes off for a good chunk of time. It's just uninteresting. It's what any other movie could show me.

These are unoriginal gripes warranted by sheer surprise and depression on my part. Spielberg’s claims of a lax use of CGI is a lie, and not just a lie that you get over the next day after some hot chocolate, but a lie that is rubbed in your face like a third grader’s dirty finger.

Aliens? Ugh. I could stand them when they were corpses--but watching the live one come to take Spalko away was worthy of a face palm. Spalko's death is also the least interesting of anyone's death--ever. The entire finale is pretty boring. Mac is a waste of space and his greed and death are textbook bland.

Janus Kaminiski needs to put his camera on sticks and leave it the hell alone. His camera is always moving, much like it did in War of the Worlds. Many scenes are lit with blinding pastel rims of light that would wake the dead. So much for achieving the "look" of the past three films.

The Jungle Chase is clumsy. Marion gets hit in the head for no reason by a branch. She spies Spalko in the backseat of the jeep, and instead of elbowing her to the face she does nothing but stare. At one point, she vanished for the latter half of the fight completely. That's the trouble with having an ensemble following a globe trotting adventurer around. Someone's bound to get lost at some point, although before that there's an interesting moment where Spalko turns the mounted machine gun around on her, but alas, no danger to be had.

The ants are cool. Well done.

Indiana refers to Marion as "Abner's little girl" when talking to Ox. A touch I really loved, but in the middle of my vapid cinema going experience, it provided nary a respite.

The skull? Ho-hum. If the skull was anything any one really cared about, it wouldn't take 30 minutes of exposition to tell the audience about it. After being jumped by the Russians at Arnie's Diner, Jones and Mutt evade the bad guys, but then quietly return back to his house to further discuss the skulls---as if the bad guys don't know where he lives?

One of Indy's last lines, a reference to Henry Jones, Sr. is also worthy of cringes.

And the end...well, the doors to the church magically blow open, and magically knock Indiana's hat from a coat stand, and it magically rolls to Shia's feet. That's how the hat gets into his hands (before, thankfully, Indiana takes it away.) What the hell. Magic wind and magic hats and magic church doors.

I wish I could have prepared some more formidable remarks, but I'm just so...underwhelmed. The film is still fresh in my memory, but I wish to heaven I could pull something interesting from it. I've canceled my tickets to see it again at midnight tomorrow and I left the promotional posters some of us at the screening had gotten at the theater.

As we've heard, it's “only a movie.” Sure, only a movie. Just like 27 Dresses is only a movie. Just like Star Wars is only a movie. Just like Edgar Allan Poe was only a poet, or the painted ceiling of the Sistene Chapel is only just an image? Since when did people incur success by mediocritizing their profession? Even if you’re attempting to be modest, if you have a piece of work that you’re proud of after all these years, shouldn’t your step have just a little more spring?

I can see now why the epic downplay. Indy 4 is just a movie. And a bad one at that. Did we need this movie? Not really. I can't believe I'm saying this. I had my reservations and did my best to table them, but this was bad in ways I couldn't have conjured. What a bummer, Dr. Jones.

[waltermcphilp]

Originally Posted by ???

ps. can we have some spoilers yet

SURE!









SHIA LABOUF IS INDY'S KID!
INDY GETS MARRIED!
THE ENDING HAS ALIENS!

[???]

OMG

LOL

[Sam Vimes]

Originally Posted by SlingeroGuitaro

*****spoilers******

Oh dear....sounds horrible.

[???]

LOL @ banter that inspire fridge pastel arnie

[???]

ok, that's it. i'm writing my own indiana jones movie and it will kick the ass of this one

will post later tonite

[Nimrod's Son]

spoilers below:


indiana jones is "part" alien
sean connery had a significant cameo and explains their heritage
the russian chick with the bob cut? alien.
shia lebeouf is part alien as well because he's indy's son
indy gets killed and resurrected by the aliens
don't expect an indy 5 unless its on another planet

[Caine Walker]

no, seriously nimrod.

....seriously?

[Andrew_Pakula]

Just saw Last Crusade again last night, hadn't seen it in years, good movie.

I hope the new movie will be good but I'm seriously doubting it.