unwritten rules of cooking - Page 2

Grumble · 10-11-2006, 10:35 PM

you should experience my french toast.

wally · 10-11-2006, 10:35 PM

is it a whiny prick expounding on it's belief in existentialism?

Grumble · 10-11-2006, 10:36 PM

no, i just make really good french toast.

Trotskilicious · 10-11-2006, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wally

doesn't that just make the greasy? I usually just take the noodles out of the hot pot, strain them, but them right back into the pot while it's still hot and throw the sauce on it immediately. It keeps the noodles seperated and warm.

Interesting method. Mine doesn't make the noodles greasy unless you use too much. It's basically so the noodles don't stick together.

wally · 10-11-2006, 10:37 PM

good, I hate when my french toast makes me think of the glory of nothingness

wally · 10-11-2006, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

Interesting method. Mine doesn't make the noodles greasy unless you use too much. It's basically so the noodles don't stick together.

that's what the sauce thing I do accomplishes. I've seen people do the oil thing as well.

Karl Connor · 10-11-2006, 10:38 PM

post-modern omelettes

Mentok · 10-11-2006, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2Marlon2Brando

you know like if you can smell the brownies then theyve been in too long

i think this is some sort of inappropriate sexual metaphor

Grumble · 10-11-2006, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Randall Sandell

post-modern omelettes

that's my nickname.

Trotskilicious · 10-11-2006, 10:40 PM

Garlic crushers are totally worth it, but hard to clean.

2Marlon2Brando · 10-11-2006, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mentok

i think this is some sort of inappropriate sexual metaphor

i guess it works that way too

wally · 10-11-2006, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

Garlic crushers are totally worth it, but hard to clean.

mercurial · 10-11-2006, 10:41 PM

ah hah this reminds me

always add salt AFTER the water has boiled when you need to raise the boiling temperature (for pasta etc)

if you add the salt prior it will take longer for the pot to come to the boil

2Marlon2Brando · 10-11-2006, 10:43 PM

i throw garlic in my pasta water

neopryn · 10-11-2006, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grumble

cooking is like poetry. sometimes it's good if the ingredients rhyme. and you should aim to tell a story with your food, or offer some kind of commentary. i make omelettes that critique late capitalism. delicious and thought-provoking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wally

even your omelettes are pretentious

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grumble

you should experience my french toast.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wally

is it a whiny prick expounding on it's belief in existentialism?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grumble

no, i just make really good french toast.

i think this is one of my favorite series of posts ever

Sepiae · 10-11-2006, 10:45 PM

I put it in the butter when I am making garlic bread.

ammy · 10-11-2006, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sepiae

Recipes are just suggestions. Except for in baking.

*just as much in baking, but with some rules - you just have to replace starches with starches, sugars with sugars and liquids with liquids - know your substances and you can manipulate recipes like mad.

*you can always use more vanilla.

*when baking - in many moist recipes (fruit.veggie breads, muffins, cakes), apple sauce can be substituted for oil, and will result in a moister, healthier food - just be sure to tone down any sugars you add a bit to compensate for the extra sweetness the apple sauce would provide.

GlasgowKiss · 10-12-2006, 08:23 AM

Dont take bardys advice.

This isnt really confined to cooking.

blackfaerie · 10-12-2006, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ammy

*when baking - in many moist recipes (fruit.veggie breads, muffins, cakes), apple sauce can be substituted for oil, and will result in a moister, healthier food - just be sure to tone down any sugars you add a bit to compensate for the extra sweetness the apple sauce would provide.

i'm going to try that next time.

Lucy Sky Diamonds · 10-12-2006, 09:06 AM

Parchment paper rules for making sure your baking doesn't stick to the pan.
Margarine is NOT exchangeable for butter in baking. It tastes like butt if you do.
Tomatoes should not be kept in the fridge. They should be kept room temperature, otherwise they lose flavour rapidly in the fridge.
Baking with firm, tart apples (granny smith, cortland) will give you better results then baking with sweeter, softer apples. Macintosh makes great apple sauce.
You cannot overcook a vegetable (or meat) base soup. It's virtually impossible. However a creamy soup is easy to scald.

spring · 10-12-2006, 09:26 AM

man, thank you so much for this thread. i will read it over and over until i feel like having breakfast

(which should happen in the next 2-3 hours, because I have been awake since 6am)

alisonmonster · 11:47 AM

to get the smell of onions off your hands, use lemon juice. soap often doesn't work.

how to tell a regular thickness (around 1" or so) steak is cooked at about medium: put your fist in a tight ball and touch the padding at the base of your thumb. Thats how the steak should feel to the touch - with some give, but it should 'bounce back' after you touch it.

put a wet cloth under a cutting board so it doesn't drive you nuts shifting around on the counter

When making caesar dressing (or pesto), add the oil very very slowly so the dressing doesn't seperate from the eggs (or with pesto - the rest of the ingredients). The harder you stir dressing (if making it by hand, which i like better than using a food processor) the thicker it gets.

So calamari doesn't get rubbery - heat a pan til smoking hot by itself til water beads off it. Throw in the calarmari and whatever oil and seasoning and flash cook it for 30 seconds or less. Serve immediately, and it'll melt in your mouth instead of rubberizing.

if you spill oil - use salt to absorb it for a few minutes than wipe clean and it won't leave a residue behind.

pink_ribbon_scars · 10-12-2006, 01:16 PM

this just in from the person who always sets off the smoke alarm when cooking:

-the way to make the best hamburger is to not mix anything into the patties but to salt the outside of each burger heavily (that gives the burger a delicious crust)
-if you heat butter in a pan it can get burnt pretty quickly, but if you put in a mixture of butter and oil, things will go great

that’s all I can think of

2Marlon2Brando · 10-12-2006, 01:36 PM

thom needs to contribute

Dead · 10-12-2006, 01:53 PM

Never use salt instead of sugar. I learned the hard (and crunchy) way.

pink_ribbon_scars · 10-12-2006, 02:26 PM

yeah man, thom is a neverending source of this stuff

Geek USA · 10-12-2006, 02:55 PM

this thread is so unintentionally funny.

Nimrod's Son · 10-12-2006, 03:04 PM

F U Thomas, asking us to write down unwritten rules, thus destroying their power

mccririck · 10-12-2006, 03:05 PM

Before puting an egg in the frying pan, break it into a bowl first. This is good for two reasons:

1) you can tell if the egg is bad
2) it allows you to wank into the bowl which adds flavour and protein.

ammy · 10-12-2006, 03:48 PM

add a bay leaf to the water you are boiling artichokes in
buy me some artichokes.

10-12-2006, 11:33 AM	#52
alisonmonster Minion of Satan Location: gasoline alley Posts: 9,019	to get the smell of onions off your hands, use lemon juice. soap often doesn't work. how to tell a regular thickness (around 1" or so) steak is cooked at about medium: put your fist in a tight ball and touch the padding at the base of your thumb. Thats how the steak should feel to the touch - with some give, but it should 'bounce back' after you touch it. put a wet cloth under a cutting board so it doesn't drive you nuts shifting around on the counter When making caesar dressing (or pesto), add the oil very very slowly so the dressing doesn't seperate from the eggs (or with pesto - the rest of the ingredients). The harder you stir dressing (if making it by hand, which i like better than using a food processor) the thicker it gets. So calamari doesn't get rubbery - heat a pan til smoking hot by itself til water beads off it. Throw in the calarmari and whatever oil and seasoning and flash cook it for 30 seconds or less. Serve immediately, and it'll melt in your mouth instead of rubberizing. if you spill oil - use salt to absorb it for a few minutes than wipe clean and it won't leave a residue behind. Last edited by alisonmonster : 10-12-2006 at 11:47 AM.

10-12-2006, 01:53 PM	#55
Dead Deaddy is your daddy! Location: Veronica Mars played with my Wii. Posts: 39,187	Never use salt instead of sugar. I learned the hard (and crunchy) way. __________________ I like video games, Spider-Man, and long walks on the beach.

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10-11-2006, 10:35 PM	#31
Grumble Apocalyptic Poster Location: non-local software. Posts: 2,746	you should experience my french toast.

10-11-2006, 10:35 PM	#32
wally cibohplaicos Posts: 10,310	is it a whiny prick expounding on it's belief in existentialism?

10-11-2006, 10:36 PM	#33
Grumble Apocalyptic Poster Location: non-local software. Posts: 2,746	no, i just make really good french toast.

10-11-2006, 10:37 PM	#35
wally cibohplaicos Posts: 10,310	good, I hate when my french toast makes me think of the glory of nothingness

10-11-2006, 10:38 PM	#37
Karl Connor ADMlNISTRATOR Posts: 18,933	post-modern omelettes

10-11-2006, 10:40 PM	#40
Trotskilicious Banned Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship. Posts: 39,602	Garlic crushers are totally worth it, but hard to clean.

10-11-2006, 10:41 PM	#43
mercurial $ W▲ G Posts: 6,576	ah hah this reminds me always add salt AFTER the water has boiled when you need to raise the boiling temperature (for pasta etc) if you add the salt prior it will take longer for the pot to come to the boil

10-11-2006, 10:43 PM	#44
2Marlon2Brando Socialphobic Location: sometimes the same is different but mostly it's the same Posts: 14,519	i throw garlic in my pasta water

10-11-2006, 10:45 PM	#46
Sepiae is a modern day sex camel Location: Boston, baby Posts: 7,662	I put it in the butter when I am making garlic bread.

10-12-2006, 08:23 AM	#48
GlasgowKiss Quaid Hates You Location: Hollywood Posts: 14,160	Dont take bardys advice. This isnt really confined to cooking.

10-12-2006, 09:06 AM	#50
Lucy Sky Diamonds Braindead Location: No Canada like French Canada, it's the best Canada in ze land. Posts: 16,905	Parchment paper rules for making sure your baking doesn't stick to the pan. Margarine is NOT exchangeable for butter in baking. It tastes like butt if you do. Tomatoes should not be kept in the fridge. They should be kept room temperature, otherwise they lose flavour rapidly in the fridge. Baking with firm, tart apples (granny smith, cortland) will give you better results then baking with sweeter, softer apples. Macintosh makes great apple sauce. You cannot overcook a vegetable (or meat) base soup. It's virtually impossible. However a creamy soup is easy to scald.

10-12-2006, 09:26 AM	#51
spring die 'til it doesn't hurt Posts: 7,475	man, thank you so much for this thread. i will read it over and over until i feel like having breakfast (which should happen in the next 2-3 hours, because I have been awake since 6am)

10-12-2006, 01:16 PM	#53
pink_ribbon_scars At the beginning Location: GJ 1214 b Posts: 10,760	this just in from the person who always sets off the smoke alarm when cooking: -the way to make the best hamburger is to not mix anything into the patties but to salt the outside of each burger heavily (that gives the burger a delicious crust) -if you heat butter in a pan it can get burnt pretty quickly, but if you put in a mixture of butter and oil, things will go great that’s all I can think of

10-12-2006, 01:36 PM	#54
2Marlon2Brando Socialphobic Location: sometimes the same is different but mostly it's the same Posts: 14,519	thom needs to contribute

10-12-2006, 02:26 PM	#56
pink_ribbon_scars At the beginning Location: GJ 1214 b Posts: 10,760	yeah man, thom is a neverending source of this stuff

10-12-2006, 02:55 PM	#57
Geek USA car wash cunt Location: cuyler ave Posts: 39,762	this thread is so unintentionally funny.

10-12-2006, 03:04 PM	#58
Nimrod's Son Master of Karate and Friendship Location: in your butt Posts: 72,943	F U Thomas, asking us to write down unwritten rules, thus destroying their power

10-12-2006, 03:05 PM	#59
mccririck Apocalyptic Poster Location: Spa Posts: 3,884	Before puting an egg in the frying pan, break it into a bowl first. This is good for two reasons: 1) you can tell if the egg is bad 2) it allows you to wank into the bowl which adds flavour and protein.

10-12-2006, 03:48 PM	#60
ammy yer mom Posts: 23,180	add a bay leaf to the water you are boiling artichokes in buy me some artichokes.