New Zealand Joke

[Fonzie]

A Somalian arrives in Manukau City as a new immigrant to New Zealand.

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr.New Zealand man for letting me in this country! "

But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani".

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by.

"Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in New Zealand!"

The person says "I no Kiwi. I from Hong Kong"

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful Kiwiland!"

That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Iran, I am not Kiwi!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you a New Zealand citizen? "

She says, "No, I from Tonga!".

So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the New Zealanders?"

The Tongan lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says... "Probably at work."

[Fonzie]

see, what they're saying is that foreigners flood our country and do no work and bludge off decent hard-working new zealanders.

[Fonzie]

This party political broadcast was brought to you by New Zealand first and big Winston.

[Luke de Spa]

Have you seen National's Taxathon TV ad? It's pretty lol-some.

[Fonzie]

I know! Though I'm sure the idea was ripped off some american thing I remember for the last US election.

I'm sick to death of this whole election thing already.

[tootsie]

as a pacific islander, i can appreciate that joke.

[barden]

Here’s a pretty New Zealand funny joke:
‘It’s life! It’s life! It’s death it’s death!
It’s the hairy man who went to fetch the sun’


Man, the damn Haka doesn’t even make SENSE!

We could win the Tri-Nations already if we beat you fuckers on Saturday. Granted, Dundee is an intimidating venue, but we will over come!

And if we win the Tri-Nations already, I’m going to laugh pretty hard.

[mercurial]

Originally posted by barden
Here’s a pretty New Zealand funny joke:
‘It’s life! It’s life! It’s death it’s death!
It’s the hairy man who went to fetch the sun’


Man, the damn Haka doesn’t even make SENSE!

We could win the Tri-Nations already if we beat you fuckers on Saturday. Granted, Dundee is an intimidating venue, but we will over come!

And if we win the Tri-Nations already, I’m going to laugh pretty hard.

The boks have never won a game on that ground and let's be honest here ... they aren't gonna win this win either bro.

You guys may as well just forfeit and go spend the rest of the week in Sydney

[barden]

Originally posted by mercurial


The boks have never won a game on that ground and let's be honest here ... they aren't gonna win this win either bro.

You guys may as well just forfeit and go spend the rest of the week in Sydney

Even if we do lose this Saturday, we’re still tipped to win the Tri-Nations.

It’s just cool that we can win it already, and none of the other teams have that chance yet. We just have to beat you fools!

Hooray.

[bozo]

[mercurial]

gotta love that jaapie arrogance confidence

[I'm Hardcore]

Barden, suck my balls. "we're still tipped to win", who gives a fuck?

that joke was funny.

and that ad is too...."thank you very much for the tax on bevvies"...classic

[barden]

Originally posted by I'm Hardcore
Barden, suck my balls. "we're still tipped to win", who gives a fuck?

Me. Other rugby fans.

Other people aside from you.

Do you think your opinion is the only one that is shared the world over? How boring that would be!

Hah.

Fucker.

[I'm Hardcore]

Originally posted by barden


Me. Other rugby fans.

Other people aside from you.

Do you think your opinion is the only one that is shared the world over? How boring that would be!

Hah.

Fucker.

wow, a relevant post. Wait and see, ass.

[barden]

Originally posted by I'm Hardcore


wow, a relevant post. Wait and see, ass.

Okay. And even if we’re lose tomorrow, we’re still ranked tops in the log.
Doesn’t that tell you something?
We’ve won our last like, 7 games or something stupid, against the two best teams in the world. Have a little confidence, sir. Don’t forget we also wont the tri-nations last year.

[Luke de Spa]

Originally posted by barden

Okay. And even if we’re lose tomorrow, we’re still ranked tops in the log.
Doesn’t that tell you something?
We’ve won our last like, 7 games or something stupid, against the two best teams in the world. Have a little confidence, sir. Don’t forget we also wont the tri-nations last year.

so like how long have you been on the team barden

[barden]

Originally posted by Lucky Day Spa

so like how long have you been on the team barden

Don’t you guys talk about your teams as ‘us’. They’re South Africa! I’m South African! Eh, everyone here just says ‘we’.
Sorry, cultural difference I guess!


Those buggers would snap me in half.

[mercurial]

Originally posted by barden


Okay. And even if we’re lose tomorrow, we’re still ranked tops in the log.
Doesn’t that tell you something?
We’ve won our last like, 7 games or something stupid, against the two best teams in the world. Have a little confidence, sir. Don’t forget we also wont the tri-nations last year.

squabble squabble - you are so easy to get a rise out of man ...

The All Blacks are still no. 1 on the IRB world rankings - if they lose the Boks will claim the spot and sweep the tri-nations ... first time they have done so since 1998 I believe

If the Boks lose then the AB's can win the tri-nations thanks to the bonus point from the loss to the Boks

And if the Boks stay onside for the entire game, and don't run a single offside cheating interference line ... I will personally have a medal comissioned for you barden

[Luke de Spa]

Originally posted by barden

Don’t you guys talk about your teams as ‘us’. They’re South Africa! I’m South African! Eh, everyone here just says ‘we’.
Sorry, cultural difference I guess!

Nah, people say it all the time here. You have to admit, though, it does sound pretty dumb.

[barden]

Originally posted by mercurial


squabble squabble - you are so easy to get a rise out of man ...

The All Blacks are still no. 1 on the IRB world rankings - if they lose the Boks will claim the spot and sweep the tri-nations ... first time they have done so since 1998 I believe

If the Boks lose then the AB's can win the tri-nations thanks to the bonus point from the loss to the Boks

And if the Boks stay onside for the entire game, and don't run a single offside cheating interference line ... I will personally have a medal comissioned for you barden

Since 1998?
Dude, we won the tri-nations last year.

And of course you have to refer to cheating, eh? Excuses, excuses. Lets leave those calls to the ref, the professionally trained guy on the field getting paid to do that very thing, rather then our biased opinions, eh?

[mercurial]

Dude ... my opinion is clearly far superior to that of the ref - I've got a birds eye view AND instant replay!

I wasn't talking about winning the tri-nations ... I was talking about a clean sweep (undefeated) which is what I'm concerned about.

[dean moriaty]

Originally posted by mercurial

And if the Boks stay onside for the entire game, and don't run a single offside cheating interference line ... I will personally have a medal comissioned for you barden

lol

[Hillzy]

Originally posted by Fonzie
A Somalian arrives in Manukau City as a new immigrant to New Zealand.

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr.New Zealand man for letting me in this country! "

But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani".

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by.

"Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in New Zealand!"

The person says "I no Kiwi. I from Hong Kong"

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful Kiwiland!"

That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Iran, I am not Kiwi!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you a New Zealand citizen? "

She says, "No, I from Tonga!".

So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the New Zealanders?"

The Tongan lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says... "Probably at work."

Good joke.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/3...winston_ap.jpg

Winston Approves!

[I'm Hardcore]

Originally posted by barden


Okay. And even if we’re lose tomorrow, we’re still ranked tops in the log.
Doesn’t that tell you something?
We’ve won our last like, 7 games or something stupid, against the two best teams in the world. Have a little confidence, sir. Don’t forget we also wont the tri-nations last year.

do you beat up your mother when Seth Efrika lose?

[Elvis The Fat Years]

http://www.deezteez.com/nss-folder/i...fonz-brown.gif

[I'm Hardcore]

31-27

Barden, fuck you, faggot

that was a great game

[sleeper]

i have some questions about nz that iwas going to ask in another thread, but ill do it here:

1- i hear you guys have plastic money. what the fuck is that all about? how is it? does it fold well? maybe "plastic money" is a misnomer, but thats how i heard it referred to

2- i went to a casino for the first time last week and i was absolutely stunned at how much of a majority one specific ethnic group had amongst the people there gambling and dealing. i swear to god, at least 95% of the people there were south east asian-like. i could hardly even spot a white dude. i looked up some stuff on the internet and its apparently a big problem everywhere, particularly in new zealand where gambling is legal (i think), so a lot of pacific islanders or indigenous peoples go there and blow all their money. whats this all about? and why is gambling so popular amongst these people? is it a societal thing, like theyre not taught to fear gambling like we are in the west, or are these ethnic groups just inherently more prone to this shit. i was just so shocked at the people. its absolutely impossible to ignore

[Hillzy]

Originally posted by sleeper
i have some questions about nz that iwas going to ask in another thread, but ill do it here:

1- i hear you guys have plastic money. what the fuck is that all about? how is it? does it fold well? maybe "plastic money" is a misnomer, but thats how i heard it referred to

2- i went to a casino for the first time last week and i was absolutely stunned at how much of a majority one specific ethnic group had amongst the people there gambling and dealing. i swear to god, at least 95% of the people there were south east asian-like. i could hardly even spot a white dude. i looked up some stuff on the internet and its apparently a big problem everywhere, particularly in new zealand where gambling is legal (i think), so a lot of pacific islanders or indigenous peoples go there and blow all their money. whats this all about? and why is gambling so popular amongst these people? is it a societal thing, like theyre not taught to fear gambling like we are in the west, or are these ethnic groups just inherently more prone to this shit. i was just so shocked at the people. its absolutely impossible to ignore

Yeah we do have plastic money, in all my travels of the world I have yet to see any other currency that is as good as ours. Yes it folds pretty well.

Not too sure about the gambling question but there ae definitely a lot of gamblers of asian descent.

[tootsie]

Originally posted by sleeper

2- i went to a casino for the first time last week and i was absolutely stunned at how much of a majority one specific ethnic group had amongst the people there gambling and dealing. i swear to god, at least 95% of the people there were south east asian-like. i could hardly even spot a white dude. i looked up some stuff on the internet and its apparently a big problem everywhere, particularly in new zealand where gambling is legal (i think), so a lot of pacific islanders or indigenous peoples go there and blow all their money. whats this all about? and why is gambling so popular amongst these people? is it a societal thing, like theyre not taught to fear gambling like we are in the west, or are these ethnic groups just inherently more prone to this shit. i was just so shocked at the people. its absolutely impossible to ignore

well, like the joke implied, most polynesians (specifically tongans and samoans) are lazy as hell. so if they can make a buck doing no work, they will be all for it.

[sleeper]

so do a lot of south east asian or pacific island nations have gambling outlawed? what kind of laws does new zealand have with regards to gambling? i know singapore has it banned, but theyre fucking crazy about everything