I Know What You Did Last Chat Thread

[slunken]

i met someone and i think i'm in love

[MyOneAndOnly]

Originally Posted by slunken

i met someone and i think i'm in love

I love you too

[yo soy el mejor]

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

actually I didn't mean to make your question look stupid at all, I think it's a good question. I'm just cynical to a fault and don't really believe in childhood innocence or anything like that anymore. I would want my own kids to understand early on that the world can be very very horrible, and what privilege is and how lucky they are because I would hope that would cause them to grow into more conscientious adults.

also I said it because I am a dark twisted fuck and I chuckled as I wrote it

It was definitely funny, after my question - I chuckled, I think especially because I was already aware of the potential ridiculousness of the question. I have a dark sense of humour, too.

I am cynical about childhood innocence, too. Mine aren't really those kinds of kids anyway, because we became parents in our mid 20s and haven't recovered from the shock yet, so we never had the mental ability to shield our kids from anything. They've just been dragged along with us, on our own journey to adulthood. My elder son has lived in 7 houses, 4 cities and 3 countries - he's been to 3 preschools and he's in his 4th school. I think, being introverted and taking a long time to make friends, his whole life has basically been a series of traumas, of having his friends and home constantly taken away from him. Bombs weren't falling around him or anything, but I think the trauma of moving takes a toll anyway. My younger son is similar - but being three years younger, he's lived in two less houses, and one less city, than the older one. And the way the chips fell, he's only been to two preschools and one school.

The only thing that makes them innocent is their restricted screen time - but when they have screen time they're watching Rick and Morty and playing Battlefront 2.

And we've travelled through Cambodia, and we were approached by land mine victims, and met adults who were shorter than my nine year old due basically to starvation. So we talked about the Khmer Rouge, and civil war, and ethnic cleansing.

And they know that IBM made the machines that helped organise the camps and killing schedule. That came up in conversation one day at the dinner table. And as I said, we're so tired and unprepared for all of parenthood that we don't choose moments to discuss those sorts of things with our kids. If it comes up in conversation, then that is the day they find out about concentration camps and Nazi Germany.

I think my main worry is that they're too immature to really take it all in, so it will just be another location where they have a competition to see who can make the best fart noises with their hands, and I hiss at them to for goodness sake be quiet. The other thing is that my younger child is really anxious and borderline mentally ill, at the moment. He's on Epilim for absence seizures but he is prone to anxiety anyway. At the moment I have to set a timer for 10 minutes, when I put him to bed, and come back and check on him at 10 minute intervals until he falls asleep. He is afraid of alien abduction and can only fall asleep with the covers completely covering him, which in Singapore, even with air conditioning, means that he is sweating from head to toe, every night, when he falls asleep.

So, I feel like he might get worse, if we go and stand in the gas chamber. I dunno. He needs to see a psychologist anyway, and we won't schedule that until after the holiday so maybe it's OK to add another trauma now, because he can deal with it with a therapist afterwards.

[Funbags]

Originally Posted by vixnix

So, I feel like he might get worse, if we go and stand in the gas chamber. I dunno. He needs to see a psychologist anyway, and we won't schedule that until after the holiday so maybe it's OK to add another trauma now, because he can deal with it with a therapist afterwards.

wtf

[vixnix]

Well, we're leaving in less than two weeks. So it's not the time to start working on the bedtime thing...I'm just talking practically I guess.

And giving some background, I suppose. To say that my issues with taking my 12 and 9 year olds to visit Dachau are not so much rooted in the "Will it be the end of their childhood?" but "Will it actually be meaningful in any way" and "Will it make an existing neurotic behaviour worse?"

[vixnix]

#1 MOM ALERT

[Funbags]

"Do I take my young children, who have emotional issues, to Dachau?"

Are you sure it's not you who wants to see Dachau but have kids.

[vixnix]

Do you have kids?

It’s definitely an issue of me wanting to visit Dachau but travelling with my kids and trying to work out if it would be inappropriate for me to visit with them in tow. I’m not taking them there, for them. I don’t think it’s Disneyland or anything.

[redbreegull]

I'm sure you will make the best decision possible knowing your kids' own emotional needs. I don't think it's a big deal either way. Perhaps they would do better appreciating what they are seeing when they are older, or maybe they are ready now, but only you really know that.

[redbreegull]

@funbags fwiw I don't think someone having an emotional issue is necessarily a good reason for them not to do something trying or be exposed to something unpleasant. it could be in this case, but simply because someone has problems is not a good reason for them to be sheltered from other people's problems, nahmean.

not at all an indictment of you vix, I think whatever decision you make will be the right one

[vixnix]

thanks rbg.

I feel better after you saying you don't think it's a big deal either way. I guess if I want to visit, then they will be OK. I think because I've never been to a concentration camp, all these years the image of what it is like has probably blown it out of all proportion, in terms of what the experience of visiting, will be like. It's all shrouded in such horror in my mind that I half expect to feel nauseous the whole time I'm there. I just have no idea what to expect. But it makes sense that it really is just a place to visit, these days, and that the horror only survives when you recreate it in your own mind, so my kids will only be as affected as their imaginations and knowledge will allow.

The visitor information suggests that it's not a place for kids 12 and under to visit - but I guess that's the same information that accompanies a lot of movies, etc. It really depends on the kids.

I'm so stressed out, planning this trip. It's the kind of travel I hate, bouncing from place to place every couple of days. I did a terrible job planning it and now it's all too late and I'm a ball of nerves trying to work out what we'll do with the like 8.5 usable hours we have in each city. stupid stupid vixnix

[teh b0lly!!1]

Holy shit only two more weeks?
Apparently I've lost all perception of time down here at the void

[teh b0lly!!1]

You all packed up and ready to go?

[vixnix]

ha! No...but we are going without checked baggage, so there isn't a lot to pack - just a backpack each.

And at the moment we have the added stress of their music exams on Monday - the 9 year old is only sitting Grade 1 trumpet, which he is mostly well prepared for. But his teacher had a mix up with his pieces, so he has had to learn a completely new one, and have it ready for examination, in four days. The 12 year old is sitting Grade 5 trombone and he is stressed, I am stressed, his teacher is stressed, it's just too much, this close to our family's Once In a Lifetime European Holiday. Just more terrible vixnix planning. Hopefully he passes, that's all any of us are aiming for at the moment. Good marks would be a bonus.

Their teacher convinced me that an accompanist would be a waste of money and it would be better to accompany them myself, so now I also have the stress of not screwing up their accompanied pieces. I am an idiot. Luckily the new Grade 1 piece is very easy to play, for both of us, so it sounds OK. The Grade 5 trombone piece is in Db and every bar has a million ledger lines, like WTF. Who does that. Basically impossible for shitty sightreaders like me. I don't have the time and brains pace for this piano practice right now, what the hell am I doing to myself. I'm on the edge of panic attack territory.

[Shallowed]

I assume you'll be giving them fair warning of the seriousness of the place and what happened there. Perhaps you could have an alternative activity as a backup and let them know that if they get uncomfortable at any point, to let you know and you can leave or take a breather or something.

[FoolofaTook]

death camps are pretty intense tbh. kinda like being in a waking nightmare. you can still feel the evil, at least i did in auschwitz.

[reprise85]

I think, personally, I would have been fairly traumatized seeing Dachau at age 9. I was a sensitive kid, already anxious, prone to nightmares etc. I went to the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia around 11 years old and couldn't even handle that (anatomical abnormalities with lots of real specimens like conjoined twins and tumors etc). I would fucking love it now, but at the time it was too disturbing.

Just my 2c

[yo soy el mejor]

sheila woke me up at 4:09 in the morning by kneading my back and purring in my face. i grunted and put the pillow over my head, but then she just sat on it, which made me laugh.

then i got up to check the time and i was awake for good

now it's 5:15 and i can see the sky just lightening

[Funbags]

Originally Posted by reprise85

I think, personally, I would have been fairly traumatized seeing Dachau at age 9. I was a sensitive kid, already anxious, prone to nightmares etc. I went to the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia around 11 years old and couldn't even handle that (anatomical abnormalities with lots of real specimens like conjoined twins and tumors etc). I would fucking love it now, but at the time it was too disturbing.

Just my 2c

Yeah, if the sign at Dachau says it’s not for kids under 12, it’s not for kids under 12. No offense to vixnix, but it sounds more like she’s trying to justify taking her kids there because she wants to go.

Saying it’s okay to traumatize your kids “because they’ll be seeing a therapist anyway” is fucked up. Real talk.

[yo soy el mejor]

no one ever accused emma of putting her kids first

[pavementtune]

Originally Posted by Funbags

Yeah, if the sign at Dachau says it’s not for kids under 12, it’s not for kids under 12.

pretty much, and the explanatory part of it is 14.
visiting Auschwitz, Dachau, whatever is closest is mandatory in school here - in the grade where kids are 14/15. for a reason.

vix, please do not take your 9 year old there. my 10 cents. don't.

this child:

Originally Posted by vixnix

The other thing is that my younger child is really anxious and borderline mentally ill, at the moment. He's on Epilim for absence seizures but he is prone to anxiety anyway. At the moment I have to set a timer for 10 minutes, when I put him to bed, and come back and check on him at 10 minute intervals until he falls asleep. He is afraid of alien abduction and can only fall asleep with the covers completely covering him, which in Singapore, even with air conditioning, means that he is sweating from head to toe, every night, when he falls asleep.

So, I feel like he might get worse, if we go and stand in the gas chamber.

will stand here, realizing you were pushed into the slot to burn.

http://mittelschule-altenerding.de/w...3/image008.jpg

afraid of abduction - standing in Dachau and taking in the Holocaust.

I get that you wanna go, make it work somehow, without them.


the older one is 12, right? they should be good for 4 hours by themselves. very close to Dachau I found this one, it's a family leisure pool thing (what the hell is the right term for this.)

https://www.stadtwerke-dachau.de/bae...milienbad.html

the opening hours match with Dachau, you could go here, stay for an hour, talk to the bath security to please keep an eye on them, tell them where to go in case they have to, and pick them up 4 hours later after you have seen Dachau. good plan, bad pan? I can't tell, but that's what I would try.

here is another option (it's all German, sorry, but it should work with the translation plugin) - destinations in Dachau for family holidays for kids.
http://www.tourismus-dachauer-land.d...gendliche.html
all with supervised groups, from an afternoon on a farm to (smallscale) adventure playgrounds.

also an option - I assume Munich is your starting point for Dachau? Munich has some of the greatest tech museums in Germany. with special stuff for kids (where you get to jump around in jets, build shit, whatever.) if you find the matching day, they can have a blast in one of these tech activities for kids in one of the tech museums in Munich, that's 4-6 hours. you go to Dachau, pick them up. That they don't speak German I think wouldn't matter at all, not while crawling through jets, and the museum staff speaks English anyway.

and then there is Bavaria Filmpark (from the formerly biggest film studio) - with guides, for kids, what have you.
https://www.filmstadt.de/en/explore-...-complete.html


(sorry, I obviously miss work and figuring out schedules.... my choice of the day, your Dachau trip!)

[yo soy el mejor]

my father took me to see schindler's list when i was 8. the jerk.

[yo soy el mejor]

the jerk was before my time, sadly. i would have liked to see that at the movie theater. but i wish i could see fried green tomatoes on the big screen. it's my favorite of all time.

[Shallowed]

That's a long ass fuckin movie for an 8 year old

[Shallowed]

lol ass fuckin

[Cool As Ice Cream]

lololo
buttsex
good one

[teh b0lly!!1]

did you guys ever notice anal sex is performed from behind this is why they call it "backdoor action"

get it?

[Shallowed]

This is getting too academic for me to understand

[FoolofaTook]

BACK AS IN BEHIND


GET IT?