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Old 09-03-2017, 10:06 PM   #11251
teh b0lly!!1
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WHOA CAN WE NOT BE SO EASY ON THE SOPRANOS SPOILERS

I MEAN I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS A SPOILER CAUSE I SCROLLED AWAY TOO FAST BUT JEEZE!

 
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Old 09-04-2017, 08:00 AM   #11252
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Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
WHOA CAN WE NOT BE SO EASY ON THE SOPRANOS SPOILERS

I MEAN I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS A SPOILER CAUSE I SCROLLED AWAY TOO FAST BUT JEEZE!

 
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Old 09-04-2017, 08:01 AM   #11253
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Old 09-05-2017, 07:01 AM   #11254
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So today a customer gave me her number unsolicited. Not that I ever would solicit a number from a customer while on the job. Pretty swell that I didn't even have to do anything.

 
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Old 09-05-2017, 07:14 AM   #11255
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pretty swell

 
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Old 09-05-2017, 07:29 AM   #11256
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Does anybody play FIFA Ultimate Team?

I have a use for you.

 
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Old 09-05-2017, 09:27 AM   #11257
teh b0lly!!1
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Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor View Post
is it saturday yet?

:[

 
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Old 09-05-2017, 10:49 AM   #11258
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1 View Post
WHOA CAN WE NOT BE SO EASY ON THE SOPRANOS SPOILERS

I MEAN I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS A SPOILER CAUSE I SCROLLED AWAY TOO FAST BUT JEEZE!

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 02:26 PM   #11259
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Can't find the rollin shits thread so I am posting this here.

Just sat down to shart (i drink too much coffee) and I peed as well. Only the stream shot through the gap between the seat and the bowl. looked down to see urine pooling around my sockscladfeet.

amazing.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 02:27 PM   #11260
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Feel free to share similar experiences. You have my permission.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:09 PM   #11261
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what if said similar experience involved your mom?

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:14 PM   #11262
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What madness!!

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:16 PM   #11263
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Hey Myosis check out Lord Dunsany's real name:

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Baron of Dunsany.

Poor dude no wonder he sought escapism in fantastic literature.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:18 PM   #11264
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Dunsany >>> drugs

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:19 PM   #11265
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did he also practice the art of showering in gold?

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:42 PM   #11266
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This is no joking matter, Myosis.

Btw r u a babe perchance?

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:42 PM   #11267
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If myosis turns out to be another bearded flaming globes type of a babe i will end this life of mine forever.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:43 PM   #11268
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we're all babes here

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:50 PM   #11269
smashingjj
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myosis View Post
did he also practice the art of showering in gold?
but seriously how are you still below 5000 posts

that's what I meant with my last post, myosis

the institute

you slaving cunts

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:53 PM   #11270
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
we're all babes here

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:56 PM   #11271
myosis
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i'm a man of few words.
only speak when it's deserved.
take heed, took, your mother has well deserved what comes out of my mouth (and other orifices)

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 04:56 PM   #11272
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
Can't find the rollin shits thread so I am posting this here.

Just sat down to shart (i drink too much coffee) and I peed as well. Only the stream shot through the gap between the seat and the bowl. looked down to see urine pooling around my sockscladfeet.

amazing.
I am sitting on the toilet right now, uncoiling. I just leaned forward to change the music (I have my iPod and a portable speaker on the little cabinet across from me) and when I did so, my dick got hung up on the lid and pulled it up.

It's pretty much the coolest thing I've accomplished all week.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 05:01 PM   #11273
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Woah. That's visceral. So proud of you that you mentioned your member. I was going to too in my tale but was too bashful. So here goes: the reason why i peed thrue the gap twixt seat and bowl was my shruken peen which instead of hanging and dribbling sat couched in diminutiveness (??) and streamed horizontally.

um not saying (god forbid) that my dick is small. just uh shrunken. that's all. really.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 05:03 PM   #11274
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzard View Post
Does anybody play FIFA Ultimate Team?

I have a use for you.
"I need a safecracker, a getaway driver, a CCTV hacker, and an inside man to pull off the heist of the century. We're going to burgle the Hope Diamond from the Smithsonian Museum. I am going to make you rich, my friends.

I brought my Xbox, so we can play FIFA Ultimate Team in the hotel room I booked."

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 05:06 PM   #11275
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
Woah. That's visceral. So proud of you that you mentioned your member. I was going to too in my tale but was too bashful. So here goes: the reason why i peed thrue the gap twixt seat and bowl was my shruken peen which instead of hanging and dribbling sat couched in diminutiveness (??) and streamed horizontally.

um not saying (god forbid) that my dick is small. just uh shrunken. that's all. really.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 05:20 PM   #11276
Disco King
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So, the woman who gave me her number at work is a speech-language pathologist, so that's cool. I asked her if she'd like to grab a drink, but she raised the idea of having me over for dinner so that she won't have to get a sitter.

She's new to town and doesn't know anybody, so I'll try to introduce her to a few friends.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 05:33 PM   #11277
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disco King View Post
So, the woman who gave me her number at work is a speech-language pathologist, so that's cool. I asked her if she'd like to grab a drink, but she raised the idea of having me over for dinner so that she won't have to get a sitter.

She's new to town and doesn't know anybody, so I'll try to introduce her to a few friends.
noice. how old is her baby, dad?

hope you can at least grab a drink at her place

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 06:08 PM   #11278
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Her boy looks to be around seven?

I'll probably bring over a bottle of wine and some dessert.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 07:14 PM   #11279
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Also, I asked sun-hat girl out again, because she had said earlier that she would be less busy this month (she was moving and traveling last month). I was kinda unclear on whether our last hang-out thing (the rope-bondage workshop) was a "date" or not, and had come to assume that she wasn't interested in more than a friendship, mostly because I just can't really fathom how she could be into me (she's very outgoing, well-adjusted, comfortable with herself, lively, and also conventionally attractive, and I'm a pudgy, neurotic, kinda boring bloke), so I made sure to specifically make clear that I was asking her on a date this time, and she seems pretty enthusiastic about that, much to my surprise.

And also, these two grad-student friends I set up started dating and seem really happy and cute together. I don't really know how it happened, though. I met her through a meditation workshop, thought "hey, she seems smart, funny, and is kinda cute, and my friend has mentioned how hard it is too meet people as a grad-student," so I befriended her and brought him along when we hung out. He liked her right away, but they just became friends at first, because it turned out that she had a boyfriend.

But next thing I know, they are actually dating. I have no idea what happened to the old boyfriend. It's funny, when my one friend was mentioning to me how their friendship felt weird, because the activities they engaged in felt like "couples'" activities, I made some dumb joke that maybe she was looking for a replacement. I guess maybe she was? Or maybe it turned out that the other guy had secretly been a mobster all along. I dunno.

 
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Old 09-07-2017, 07:19 PM   #11280
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More info on rope bondage workshop plz and thank u.

 
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