I Know What You Did Last Chat Thread

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by Disco King

I am terrible with sales people, because I have no spine. I share your pain.

I'm also learning to be a bit firmer in declining. Last time a personal trainer tried to take me under her wing, I thought of the line "I'm not in a place financially where I can pay you what your labour is worth." I thought it sounded better than "that's too expensive for me," because saying it's "too expensive" might imply that she's charging too much, which devalues her job and the years of skill, expertise, and energy that go into performing it. Saying that I just can't afford what she's worth kinda puts me on her side, like "I respect what you do and think you deserve to get real money for it, I just don't have that money."

Framing it in this way seemed to make her really understanding and less pushy, which made it easier to decline. I think having had done some photography for pennies (and even for free), and having a bit of experience with performing the kind of jobs where people don't value your time ("you'll get paid in exposure!") helped me empathize.



Hashtag Not All Men

nah being so precious and condescending about it can be insulting, too. Is there something wrong with saying "I can't afford that" instead of dragging her into it to make you feel better?

[FlamingGlobes]

I prefer "No, thank you" myself.

[pavementtune]

Happy holidays, yoso!

Yesterday I found out that Chicago has a decorated train. And a bus. Then I look this stuff up this morning because I really wanna see it and of course, last rides were yesterday. Sigh.

You Americans really go all out with this Christmas stuff, I like it.

Happy holidays, !

[Mals Marola]

it's the only time of year we feel anything resembling joy

so god damnit we run with it

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by pavementtune

Happy holidays, yoso!

Yesterday I found out that Chicago has a decorated train. And a bus. Then I look this stuff up this morning because I really wanna see it and of course, last rides were yesterday. Sigh.

You Americans really go all out with this Christmas stuff, I like it.

Happy holidays, !

yeah i seem to only see the holiday trains when they pull up, but i've never ridden on one. i can barely even look since it gets swarmed with people taking pictures and video and i'd have to stand on a bench to get a good view. each line in the city has 3 or 4 days when the holiday train runs beginning in late november (wtf...i guess!).

i'm sure there is plenty of loud american holiday stuff to do all week, though. the streets are hot!

happy holladays, bb girl.

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

nah being so precious and condescending about it can be insulting, too. Is there something wrong with saying "I can't afford that" instead of dragging her into it to make you feel better?

…what exactly was it that I'm supposed to have "dragg[ed] her into?" I'd appreciate clarification.

[yo soy el mejor]

using the fact you're just trying to spare her feelings when you're being a douche. it's all you, duder, being a douche.

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

using the fact you're just trying to spare her feelings when you're being a douche. it's all you, duder, being a douche.

Being mindful of somebody's feelings and time makes one a "douche?" How and why? I'm curious as to what has made you feel that way.

[Disco King]

I'm also not sure what it means to "drag one into the fact that I'm trying to spare one's feelings." Can people be "dragged" into facts, even metaphorically?

[vixnix]

I think it’s kind to say that you can’t pay what someone is worth. But depending on the person they might not care about your reasons for not paying them. Some people are just interested in money, and any extra words you put into a sentence when you decline their offer are unnecessary and time wasting. Some people are doing something because they have an interest in it, and feel personally disappointed when someone doesn’t want to pay them for their service, and would feel better to know that the person declining does see real value in what they do but just can’t afford it.

People are different

It can be two things

[FlamingGlobes]

DK obviously means well, but use any words beyond "no, thank you" and you're just trying to make yourself feel better.

Stop taking up their time so that they can go hassle someone else.

[Disco King]

In my experience, just going "I can't afford that" or "no thank you" makes them get pushier, and use their follow-up sales people tactics like "what price do you put on your body?" or "are there any unnecessary expenses you have that you could cut in order to put aside money for this?" They don't take a simple "no" for an answer.

If their goal was to get to the point as quickly as possible as to not waste time and only pursue leads who are more open to the service they are selling, they wouldn't ask you to come in for an hour-long consultation, discuss all your health goals, engage is friendly small talk with you, and only tell you the price of their packages after all that is said done. They are working under the philosophy that they can convince anybody to purchase the service by selling it hard enough, rather than trying to increase their sale-to-time ratio by just trying to find out who is already interested and willing to pay for the service.

I'm just going by what the results where when I've approached the situation in different ways. Just saying "I can't afford that" has never made them back down very easily. And given the follow-up questions about how much I think my health and attaining my goals is worth, it seems that their inference is that I'm saying "Christ, that's expensive; why the fuck would you charge that much for what you do?"

But when I tired telling one, "look, I'm a poor student; I think what you're doing is very valuable, I'm just not in a place financially where I can afford what your service is worth," she was immediately understanding, seemed validated, and instead of being pushier, she said that she hoped to continue to run into me at the gym, and that I should feel free to approach her when my situation changed. It seemed to go down a lot easier for the both of us, and she seemed to understand that I value and respect what she does for a living, rather than me just thinking her a pest.

[Elphenor]

you don't even owe anyone that though

[Elphenor]

yell at top volume NOOOOOOO


NOOOOO

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by Disco King

In my experience, just going "I can't afford that" or "no thank you" makes them get pushier, and use their follow-up sales people tactics like "what price do you put on your body?" or "are there any unnecessary expenses you have that you could cut in order to put aside money for this?" They don't take a simple "no" for an answer.

If their goal was to get to the point as quickly as possible as to not waste time and only pursue leads who are more open to the service they are selling, they wouldn't ask you to come in for an hour-long consultation, discuss all your health goals, engage is friendly small talk with you, and only tell you the price of their packages after all that is said done. They are working under the philosophy that they can convince anybody to purchase the service by selling it hard enough, rather than trying to increase their sale-to-time ratio by just trying to find out who is already interested and willing to pay for the service.

I'm just going by what the results where when I've approached the situation in different ways. Just saying "I can't afford that" has never made them back down very easily. And given the follow-up questions about how much I think my health and attaining my goals is worth, it seems that their inference is that I'm saying "Christ, that's expensive; why the fuck would you charge that much for what you do?"

But when I tired telling one, "look, I'm a poor student; I think what you're doing is very valuable, I'm just not in a place financially where I can afford what your service is worth," she was immediately understanding, seemed validated, and instead of being pushier, she said that she hoped to continue to run into me at the gym, and that I should feel free to approach her when my situation changed. It seemed to go down a lot easier for the both of us, and she seemed to understand that I value and respect what she does for a living, rather than me just thinking her a pest.

Now, I know you wouldn't be crowned Disco King if you didn't own a pair of feet. So next time you find yourself in this predicament, say "No, thank you" and walk away.

Trust me. It works.

[ilikeplanets]

i'm a pro at rudely walking away mid-sentence. it's helped me in life.

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by Elphenor

you don't even owe anyone that though

For real though you can't walk through life taking responsibility for everyone's individual insecurities and anxieties etc. You're allowed to be a stranger and act accordingly. That's the social contract.

[bright_doom]

Just tickle my beard and I’ll be your forever 😘😂 life gets better every day!! Weeded out the fakes and vacated them from my life, found renewed love and happiness with my family, kindled new friendships and making others smile as much as they make me smile!! The foundations of youth is nothing short of realism and finding your inner peace in this world.



http://i67.tinypic.com/nozqkx.jpg

[FlamingGlobes]

This guy gets it.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by Disco King

In my experience, just going "I can't afford that" or "no thank you" makes them get pushier, and use their follow-up sales people tactics like "what price do you put on your body?" or "are there any unnecessary expenses you have that you could cut in order to put aside money for this?" They don't take a simple "no" for an answer.

If their goal was to get to the point as quickly as possible as to not waste time and only pursue leads who are more open to the service they are selling, they wouldn't ask you to come in for an hour-long consultation, discuss all your health goals, engage is friendly small talk with you, and only tell you the price of their packages after all that is said done. They are working under the philosophy that they can convince anybody to purchase the service by selling it hard enough, rather than trying to increase their sale-to-time ratio by just trying to find out who is already interested and willing to pay for the service.

I'm just going by what the results where when I've approached the situation in different ways. Just saying "I can't afford that" has never made them back down very easily. And given the follow-up questions about how much I think my health and attaining my goals is worth, it seems that their inference is that I'm saying "Christ, that's expensive; why the fuck would you charge that much for what you do?"

But when I tired telling one, "look, I'm a poor student; I think what you're doing is very valuable, I'm just not in a place financially where I can afford what your service is worth," she was immediately understanding, seemed validated, and instead of being pushier, she said that she hoped to continue to run into me at the gym, and that I should feel free to approach her when my situation changed. It seemed to go down a lot easier for the both of us, and she seemed to understand that I value and respect what she does for a living, rather than me just thinking her a pest.

I like this...I do a lot of this kind of stuff when I’m face to face.

Not because I think I owe anyone anything, just because I think diplomacy is a good thing.

Some real Trump-esque advice for coming out of the U.S. contingent rite here...subliminal marketing??????

[Elphenor]

I've gained 10lbs this year hellll nawwww

both my parents are buckets of lard I don't have genetics in my favor

I'm still pretty slim but this ends now

[ilikeplanets]

ah, an early start to the New Year fat shaming!

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by Elphenor

I've gained 10lbs this year hellll nawwww

both my parents are buckets of lard I don't have genetics in my favor

I'm still pretty slim but this ends now

The bread'll get you every time.

[yo soy el mejor]

just turn it into muscle. problem solved.

[Elphenor]

nah I don't want muscle either

nothing but cardio and starvation for me

[Elphenor]

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes

The bread'll get you every time.

yeah no more bread for awhile =(((((

or Newcastle

[FoolofaTook]

according to this ideal weight calculator, i am 10 lbs overweight?

fuck that i am eating more and exercising more.

elph you can be my wizard-master and i will be a orc-warrior. we'll be like saruman and that one uruk-hai.

[FoolofaTook]

let me warn you tho: we'll be listening to lots of 2nd wave norwegian black metal.

[smashingjj]

what's that, 'weight gain'

[smashingjj]

pretty sure it's some American phenomenon