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01-16-2018, 01:13 AM | #871 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,749
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hey DK, you seem to space your dates out a lot. IIRC you have mentioned a few times going on second dates weeks after the first date. How do you keep someone interested over that period of time? Do you actively text or message each other? IME once you let something lie for more than a few days after just a single date, the odds are pretty low that person will go out with you again. Just curious.
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01-16-2018, 01:27 AM | #872 | |
Braindead
Location: Ignore List
Posts: 17,229
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Quote:
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01-16-2018, 01:57 AM | #873 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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It must be hard to keep track, forum Mick Hucknall.
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01-16-2018, 02:06 AM | #874 |
Braindead
Location: Ignore List
Posts: 17,229
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why thank you
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01-16-2018, 02:52 AM | #875 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,215
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I have a second "date" tomorrow. Not sure about this. Last email she sent me (Friday) had her full info at the end starting with her full name. Which is composed of her first name and her HUSBAND'S last name.
My mother does not approve, btw. |
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01-16-2018, 03:03 AM | #876 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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Has there been no mention of a husband figure so far?
I've known a couple of people that maintained the surname well after separating. |
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01-16-2018, 03:05 AM | #877 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,215
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He abandoned her last summer in Italy. Just walked away. Total tool.
I think my professor hooked us up in part to help her get over him. I think she is still in love with him. She's really fragille. I am totally at sea here. No idea what I am doing. |
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01-16-2018, 04:58 AM | #878 | |
Socialphobic
Location: Away
Posts: 11,398
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Quote:
But that can be a big ask and imposing on other people's feelings which is why it's super scary for me to try and reconnect with them. Sometimes you just can't. |
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01-17-2018, 07:13 PM | #879 | |||
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,850
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Quote:
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Sometimes I could go days, even a week or two, without texting. I'm pretty good at not ignoring texts because I try to be courteous, but it the text I received doesn't have any kind of question or promising leads to a conversation thread, there's not a lot of urgency to respond. And half the time, I was the last person to send a text anyway, so it's not like I'm leaving the other person hanging. But you could be right, maybe I'm killing the interest by not texting more. It's just that, if I already know my schedule is kinda busy for the next little while and I don't know when I will next be free for a date, since I only really text to set up dates, I have nothing to text about. If I know about something she's up to, like she mentioned having an upcoming wedding or trip or birthday or whatever, I'll text to find out how that went. Looking back, this probably explains why I got no response from this one girl met on the train and took out once, because I didn't ask for the next date until a ten days after the first. I wasn't that disappointed, because she didn't seem my type on the date (seemed like a "party girl"), but she was open to doing psychedelics with me, so she could have been a cool drug friend or something. |
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01-18-2018, 01:31 AM | #880 |
Braindead
Location: TX
Posts: 16,289
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I'm much more comfortable in text I try to prolong that communication until a positive date is all but assured
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01-18-2018, 02:46 AM | #881 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,215
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I am getting high at midnight and listening to Burzum.
lol |
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01-18-2018, 08:36 AM | #882 |
Socialphobic
Location: Away
Posts: 11,398
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I've been hacked by a turkish cult, no big deal.
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01-18-2018, 12:07 PM | #883 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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nevermind
Last edited by vixnix : 01-18-2018 at 12:24 PM. |
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01-18-2018, 12:07 PM | #884 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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clears throat
Last edited by vixnix : 01-18-2018 at 12:24 PM. |
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01-18-2018, 12:08 PM | #885 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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merely a trifle
Last edited by vixnix : 01-18-2018 at 12:25 PM. |
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01-18-2018, 12:35 PM | #886 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle?
Posts: 32,741
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mmm... trifle...
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01-18-2018, 12:43 PM | #887 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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so many delicious varieties |
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01-18-2018, 01:37 PM | #888 |
Braindead
Location: Ignore List
Posts: 17,229
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Then why did you post that bad looking one??
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01-18-2018, 06:29 PM | #889 |
Virgo
Posts: 42,781
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01-18-2018, 07:22 PM | #890 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Posts: 1,764
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Shepherds pie? In a cocktail glass?
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01-18-2018, 07:38 PM | #891 |
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,850
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I do prefer a dry cocktail.
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01-18-2018, 08:33 PM | #892 |
Braindead
Location: Ignore List
Posts: 17,229
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Ouch!
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01-18-2018, 09:14 PM | #893 |
Socialphobic
Location: Away
Posts: 11,398
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That's just way too big.
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01-18-2018, 09:15 PM | #894 |
Socialphobic
Location: Away
Posts: 11,398
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yadda yadda what she said yadda yadda
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01-18-2018, 09:15 PM | #895 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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pastry > glass
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01-18-2018, 09:46 PM | #896 |
Socialphobic
Location: Away
Posts: 11,398
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01-18-2018, 09:50 PM | #897 |
Virgo
Posts: 42,781
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you wish
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01-18-2018, 10:07 PM | #898 | |
Dute of Seven Y's
Location: Mr. C's garage
Posts: 7,764
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Quote:
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02-06-2018, 06:51 PM | #899 |
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,850
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Eh, so a couple of weeks ago, one of the two girls I had been going out with messaged me to say that she isn't interested in dating, but would like to be friends.
I was a bit surprised, because she seemed pretty interested, but I didn't mind too much, because out of the two girls, I felt that the other one was a better match. I told her I'd definitely like to continue being friends. But I also felt that the reason she lost interest was because of how timid and romantically unassertive I am. I am so scared of transgressing a person's boundaries, that I end up treating my dates like platonic friends, and that probably kills any attraction or interest they could possible have in me. Across three dates, I didn't so much as try to hold her hand. I felt concerned that, if I didn't start being a bit more bold with the other girl, she, too, would lose interest. So, that night, I had the date with the other girl. I told myself that I had to initiate some sort of physical intimacy, or else the exact same thing would happen with her. I guess when we were walking back to her car, I put my arm around her waist. But that ended up being awkward because some guys were walking in the opposite direction as us on the sidewalk, and I didn't know which way to go to avoid them, so I kind of pulled her side-to-side trying to avoid them, but then just decided to just release her and we kind of went on either side of the guys, and then we returned to waist-holding position. When she was dropping me off, I told her something like "this is embarrassing, but I feel like I should kiss you, but I'm too timid to know how to go about initiating that." She chuckles and says "come here," and I lean in and we kiss. It wasn't my worst kiss, but I'm still not very good at it (oh god I'm a grown-ass man why am I alive please kill me). I bashfully say "heheh, I think I need more practice," then tell er I've had a good time and hastily leave her car. I think I was afraid of overstaying my welcome, so I just rushed out instead. We each send each other a text over the weekend, and then I don't hear from her for over a week. And then she texts me today to tell me she doesn't feel the chemistry. She also asks to just be friends, which I would definitely love. But the other girl who also said she wanted to be friends actually stopped texting me. She at first said that she was really glad that I still wanted to be friends, and said she was having a busy week, so that we should check in with each other in a week. So I waited a week, texted her, never heard back. I did like hanging out with her, even if I wasn't 100% sure we were a match. This other girl, I really did feel that connection. But I understand why it's hard for the other person to feel it when I'm so bland and milquetoast and don't know how to give them any of the romance they are probably looking for. I really would like to remain friends and continue hanging out, but I'm thinking now that the phrase "let's just be friends" is just a pleasant formality, and I'll never be contacted again. I don't know how to date or flirt or tease or be romantic, but I feel like that's what I'm going to have to give people if they want anything to do with me. It's just that, I don't know how to go about initiating intimacy without it being "creepy." I just wish that I could find somebody who is patient with me and is okay with me taking things slow and doesn't just immediately get bored, or if they really want the physical affection, would just tell me or initiate it. I would be willing to give them that if it would make them happy and value me more. |
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02-06-2018, 07:00 PM | #900 |
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,850
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Also, ever been asked a question that just dissolves you into the void?
A friend of mine the other day was asking me if I was close to my parents. I was like, "uh... definitely not close to my dad. I love my mother and feel affection toward her, but we don't engage in anything other than small talk because it doesn't seem like we have a lot of common ground to talk about." My friend then asks me, "have to ever been close to anyone?" And I realize that I really haven't. I've had friends. Never a close "I tell them everything" friend. I have friends I laugh with, not friends I cry with. So, I kind of just realized I've been a robot my entire life and have never had a true close one and I'm a ghost in the void. (A robot can be a ghost. Who says it can't? Fuck you.) |
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