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04-20-2018, 07:50 PM | #31 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,753
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this was exactly my fear because of bad experiences with older medicines that would seemingly make me feel worse, or make me unable to feel anything at all. but with trintellix, there are no negative cognitive side effects. Upset stomach sometimes, but never anything like sexual dysfunction or increased suicidal ideations or anything severe
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04-20-2018, 08:04 PM | #32 |
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
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yeah my first experience was with prozac when i was around 13 and it made me really angry, almost aggressively so
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04-20-2018, 08:48 PM | #33 |
dumb
Location: $8.6 million embezzled funds
Posts: 11,368
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Hey, thanks for your posts reprise. That's exactly it, I'm not trying my hardest because of the depression, and that's killing me inside, which makes me more depressed.
I was prescribed wellbutrin but never took it because i was scared of the side effects. might as well try rn. i know this is probably trivial but i'm so fucking scared that i can't even motivate myself to play drums anymore. thing is, those meds take a few months to start working, and i don't have a few months |
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04-20-2018, 08:50 PM | #34 |
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
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wellbutrin is actually an exception to that rule (and it's usually a couple weeks). it's an NDRI so it doesn't act directly on serotonin. the norepinephrine effects only take a few days. when I switched from an SSRI to an SNRI I felt better in about 3 days
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04-20-2018, 11:29 PM | #35 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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you're not fucking anything up. it sounds like you wish you practiced more and would like to be better at filming baseball. but there is a reason you're taking a class. do you think it's helping at all?
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04-21-2018, 04:19 AM | #36 |
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
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also, even if wellbutrin doesn't work for you and you try something else, time is going to pass regardless. feeling better in a few months vs never feeling better, not a tough call. but like i said, very good chance of feeling at least a little better in less than a week with wellbutrin
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04-21-2018, 08:55 AM | #37 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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i mean, it's not called badlybutrin.
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04-21-2018, 09:00 AM | #38 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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freak out (let it go) |
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04-21-2018, 09:50 AM | #39 |
Socialphobic
Location: I’ve been trying to move to the Nordic countries for 5 years but the cost is astronomical to become an expatriate
Posts: 14,679
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If a tree falls down in the forest and no on is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
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04-21-2018, 10:03 AM | #40 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,753
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does the pope shit in the woods?
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04-21-2018, 10:57 AM | #41 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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is a bear a catholic?
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04-21-2018, 11:06 AM | #42 | |
dumb
Location: $8.6 million embezzled funds
Posts: 11,368
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Thanks a ton guys. I really appreciate it.
We have band practice today at 6. I...don't even want to go because I'll fuck it up I'm finding myself doing the whole Jimmy C 'not showing up to stuff' thing. Except I'm not Jimmy, I'm me. I'm not a good enough drummer or person to justify any of this shit; I hope they kick me out at this point. This isn't a not showing up to record Siamese Dream thing, this is a not showing up to practice fucking basic shit for a 10 minute set at some fraternity thing. I can't even handle that anymore. I have these weird delusions of grandeur where I hold myself to impossible standards. I'm trying to drum like Jimmy fucking Chamberlin, I'm trying to direct baseball like [this girl I have a huge crush on]. Maybe in high school I could believe I was good enough to do that shit....I'm certainly too fucked right now. i've drafted out a little message about quitting the band (i'd like to maintain some dignity). sound alright? Quote:
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04-21-2018, 11:08 AM | #43 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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ram slow down. just take it one day at a time.
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04-21-2018, 11:09 AM | #44 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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how about a cup of coffee instead of that next beer?
do you like edgar allan poe? check this one out: By a route obscure and lonely, Haunted by ill angels only, Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT, On a black throne reigns upright, I have reached these lands but newly From an ultimate dim Thule— From a wild weird clime that lieth, sublime, Out of SPACE—Out of TIME. Bottomless vales and boundless floods, And chasms, and caves, and Titan woods, With forms that no man can discover For the tears that drip all over; Mountains toppling evermore Into seas without a shore; Seas that restlessly aspire, Surging, unto skies of fire; Lakes that endlessly outspread Their lone waters—lone and dead,— Their still waters—still and chilly With the snows of the lolling lily. By the lakes that thus outspread Their lone waters, lone and dead,— Their sad waters, sad and chilly With the snows of the lolling lily,— By the mountains—near the river Murmuring lowly, murmuring ever,— By the grey woods,—by the swamp Where the toad and the newt encamp,— By the dismal tarns and pools Where dwell the Ghouls,— By each spot the most unholy— In each nook most melancholy,— There the traveller meets, aghast, Sheeted Memories of the Past— Shrouded forms that start and sigh As they pass the wanderer by— White-robed forms of friends long given, In agony, to the Earth—and Heaven. For the heart whose woes are legion ’T is a peaceful, soothing region— For the spirit that walks in shadow ’T is—oh, ’t is an Eldorado! But the traveller, travelling through it, May not—dare not openly view it; Never its mysteries are exposed To the weak human eye unclosed; So wills its King, who hath forbid The uplifting of the fring'd lid; And thus the sad Soul that here passes Beholds it but through darkened glasses. By a route obscure and lonely, Haunted by ill angels only, Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT, On a black throne reigns upright, I have wandered home but newly From this ultimate dim Thule. |
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04-21-2018, 11:10 AM | #45 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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read it aloud, with feeling!
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04-21-2018, 11:34 AM | #46 |
dumb
Location: $8.6 million embezzled funds
Posts: 11,368
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04-21-2018, 12:04 PM | #47 |
Socialphobic
Location: I’ve been trying to move to the Nordic countries for 5 years but the cost is astronomical to become an expatriate
Posts: 14,679
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I totally get that paralyzing feeling of "I'm not up to my own standards" which can prevent you from doing anything at all. In reality, your best is usually good enough and more than appreciated. I've written some stuff that I thought was mediocre as hell, but then someone'll read it and compliment me. It makes me realize that I can get inside of my own head and beat myself up where it isn't warranted.
We are all our own worst critics. I think you might regret leaving the band at this moment and leaving them in the lurch. Just something to consider. |
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04-21-2018, 01:44 PM | #48 |
Virgo
Posts: 42,781
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04-21-2018, 02:41 PM | #49 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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04-21-2018, 07:13 PM | #50 |
Banned
Posts: 21,169
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Hey Ram, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling terrible.
I think you probably should quit your band though. You're a good drummer, and drummers are ALWAYS in demand. It's the one musician everyone's looking for. Being in a band should be a fun thing that you feel enthused about doing. The main thing about being in a band is that you have to feel like you're making music that you'd personally want to hear. That's ultimately the goal. And if you're not getting that with a group of guys, then there's really no point of trudging forward. Too much of a commitment for not enough of an emotional payback. |
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04-21-2018, 09:13 PM | #51 |
Virgo
Posts: 42,781
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04-22-2018, 02:51 PM | #52 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle?
Posts: 32,743
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04-22-2018, 06:52 PM | #53 |
real estate cowboy
Location: if Monsanto and Purdue Pharma had a baby
Posts: 36,903
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quit the band only if you're sure they're not worth it. don't worry about how you're playing, just see how much you care for the band yourself
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04-23-2018, 06:04 PM | #54 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: up on the cross you go little fella
Posts: 2,676
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Do yourself a favor: Quit listening to the Pumpkins for like a week and see how you feel, if it changes anything. Try to find other bands that speak to you.
I'm not even kidding. I haven't paid any attention to SP or any of BC's antics in a week. It's been refreshing to be away from miserable music I have too much history and attachment to. |
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04-23-2018, 06:06 PM | #55 |
Socialphobic
Location: I’ve been trying to move to the Nordic countries for 5 years but the cost is astronomical to become an expatriate
Posts: 14,679
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lol a week
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04-23-2018, 06:25 PM | #56 |
Socialphobic
Location: I’ve been trying to move to the Nordic countries for 5 years but the cost is astronomical to become an expatriate
Posts: 14,679
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In all seriousness, it's good advice. Ram seems to romanticize Jimmy and his whole tragic drug-addled fuck-up arc a bit too much.
You're not Jimmy, Ram. You're Ram. Or you're whatever the hell your name is. |
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04-23-2018, 06:25 PM | #57 |
Socialphobic
Location: I’ve been trying to move to the Nordic countries for 5 years but the cost is astronomical to become an expatriate
Posts: 14,679
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Try and be more like the drummer for Mazzy Star, OK?
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04-23-2018, 06:39 PM | #58 |
real estate cowboy
Location: if Monsanto and Purdue Pharma had a baby
Posts: 36,903
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You're not Jimmy, Ram. You're Shadaloo. Shadaloo.
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04-23-2018, 06:39 PM | #59 |
real estate cowboy
Location: if Monsanto and Purdue Pharma had a baby
Posts: 36,903
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Shadaloo.
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04-23-2018, 06:49 PM | #60 |
Socialphobic
Location: I’ve been trying to move to the Nordic countries for 5 years but the cost is astronomical to become an expatriate
Posts: 14,679
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