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Old 11-27-2002, 12:23 PM   #31
Travis Meekz
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Quote:
Originally posted by Smiley33


wtf
I mean hearing the story is bad enough, looking at pictures is punishment

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 12:27 PM   #32
Smiley33
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Quote:
Originally posted by Travis Meeks


I mean hearing the story is bad enough, looking at pictures is punishment

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 12:27 PM   #33
rubber
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Wait a minute!?! Where is the jolly rancher? Did someone have to go back in to get it out? Or was there some poor doctor examining her, "Yes ma'am, you seem to have a flaming case of gonorrhea and a jolly rancher in your vagina."


Also, this guy is amazing ... so desperate and spineless that he would continue to go down on something that stank. I don't think we are talking some mild pussy odor here... that would have been vile.


c

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 12:32 PM   #34
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that must have been awful smelling. I mean, sometimes I walk into a public women's bathroom and the smell in there is so foul that I would rather hold my piss and/or wet myself than stay in there. man. gonnorrhea. mon dieu

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 12:53 PM   #35
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why do i keep trying to lick my monitor screen?

*jerks off*

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 12:53 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by rubber
"Yes ma'am, you seem to have a flaming case of gonorrhea and a jolly rancher in your vagina."
I doubt the doctor would say flaming...but this made me laugh nonetheless

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 12:54 PM   #37
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one has to wonder if the jolly rancher would still be considered edible?

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 01:16 PM   #38
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That story didn't really gross me out but it made me feel like crying. I don't know why.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 01:28 PM   #39
beef curtains
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Quote:
Originally posted by Smiley33
that must have been awful smelling. I mean, sometimes I walk into a public women's bathroom and the smell in there is so foul that I would rather hold my piss and/or wet myself than stay in there. man. gonnorrhea. mon dieu
uugh! there was this girl in my dorm 2 years ago who had the FOULEST cooch. i swear. i named her Smelly Cat and by the end of the year most of the floor was calling her that. i'm pretty sure it wasn't any sort of STD b/c she didn't look like the type that would EVER get laid, so it must have just been REALLY REALLY REALLY bad hygeine.

oh yeah, and meloncholia.....i think you've cured me of wanting to have breakfast.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 01:33 PM   #40
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holy fucking shit. haha. i think your friend just created a future urban myth!
i mean, it really happened, but it seems as believable as the story about the chick who shat out crab eggs.
in a few months, after the story gets around, no one's ever gonna believe it ever happened. i guess it's safe to say he left his mark in the world.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 02:09 PM   #41
Smiley33
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he should call her "swamp snatch" from now on

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 02:23 PM   #42
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Sweet lord. I was 'well, there aren't any picutures...how disgusting can it be??'

Ugh.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 02:29 PM   #43
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Luckily, I did not like Jolly Ranchers to begin with.

This story is at least as gross as the urban legend about the woman who fucked herself with a lobster. Remember that little gem?

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 02:46 PM   #44
Eulogy
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mark LeDrew


This story is at least as gross as the urban legend about the woman who fucked herself with a lobster. Remember that little gem?
How could anyone forget?

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 04:40 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally posted by rubber
Wait a minute!?! Where is the jolly rancher? Did someone have to go back in to get it out? Or was there some poor doctor examining her, "Yes ma'am, you seem to have a flaming case of gonorrhea and a jolly rancher in your vagina."


Also, this guy is amazing ... so desperate and spineless that he would continue to go down on something that stank. I don't think we are talking some mild pussy odor here... that would have been vile.


c
i guess she took it out herself... but judging by the skank-ness of her vagina, sounds like she wouldn't care if it stayed in there and rotted.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 10:13 PM   #46
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God damn. Ugh.

If I had any actual interest in the female reproductive system, I'm afraid I would have been scarred for life by reading that story.
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Old 11-27-2002, 10:25 PM   #47
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Red face

Quote:
Originally posted by Graveflower
i laughed
Me too. I must be evil.
But good story!

Quote:
Originally posted by Mark LeDrew
Luckily, I did not like Jolly Ranchers to begin with.

This story is at least as gross as the urban legend about the woman who fucked herself with a lobster. Remember that little gem?
:x
Was I the one who posted that? I'm pretty sure I was...
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Old 11-27-2002, 10:35 PM   #48
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dear god that was fucking disgusting

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 10:37 PM   #49
Nate the Grate
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Oh....wow....that was just....


 
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Old 11-27-2002, 10:37 PM   #50
Shattered
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Quote:
Originally posted by slugger
yummy.

jolly rancher anyone?
Can someone please tell me why I laughed at this..?

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 10:39 PM   #51
jenny4ever
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:erm

i was eating a twizzler. . . uggggggghhhhhhhhhh

that is positively the grossest shit ever.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 10:39 PM   #52
oui henri
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i STILL have been unable to eat today and actually have my stomach not want to throw it back up.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 10:45 PM   #53
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Quote:
Originally posted by Graveflower
i laughed again
..Oh good..so I'm not the only one..Phew..

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 11:22 PM   #54
noir cat
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Quote:
Originally posted by Graveflower
i laughed again
Here, laugh at this... (dredging up the past). : )

Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhoea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain.

It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralysing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled.

She was screaming wildly, and the neighbours called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth.

The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace.

If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci's official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor.

Police medics believe, that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure.

At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a volent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub.

The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had defecated heavily into Ms. DeLucci's vagina when she was torturing it.

Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance and temperature to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US.

Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes.

You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.


- words of wisedom: just remember, dont EVER play with your food -

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 11:24 PM   #55
Geek USA
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Default Re: Eat your tufurkey.

Quote:
Originally posted by undivinemartyr
diarrhoea,

IH.
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well.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 11:27 PM   #56
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all i can think about is the 'nodule' exploding, uch.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 11:30 PM   #57
noir cat
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Smile Re: Re: Eat your tufurkey.

Quote:
Originally posted by Geek USA



IH.
It's not like I typed it out or anything, more like I went to my email inbox and copied from it.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 11:31 PM   #58
Geek USA
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oh, i didnt think you typed it out..
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well.

 
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Old 11-27-2002, 11:39 PM   #59
noir cat
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Quote:
Originally posted by Graveflower
the lobster one is just a myth, and is such an old story.

i thought it was really funny though, and i was about 14 when I first heard it. I'm pretty demented, yeah.
:/

The email I got it from was dated Sept. 1999.

 
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Old 11-28-2002, 12:09 AM   #60
Orchestra
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in any case both stories are fucking vile

 
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