Friday/Saturday drunk or otherwise thread

[FoolofaTook]

I hope he's written down the jokes. It would be a damn shame were he to forget them.

[myosis]

it's ok he told me all the jokes in case he dies before the wedding
he really wants to be remembered as the funny guy at bonnie and mike's wedding, dead or alive

[FoolofaTook]

On a steal horse he rides

[cork_soaker]

steel horse

[cork_soaker]

(motorcycle)

[FoolofaTook]

Check this guy out

[cork_soaker]

check me out

[cork_soaker]

i have a leather jacket
and none of it is fake

[LaBelle]

Actual animals were killed...

[FlamingGlobes]

Bush lied

[FlamingGlobes]

People died

[cork_soaker]

Originally Posted by LaBelle

Actual animals were killed...

yes, and i am less than wild about it

[redbreegull]

I hate online dating, I just don't know what to do to be successful. girl has photos of herself in a cockpit and sitting on a statue of a snail and her bio says she just got back from working overseas

her: haaaaay!

me: hey Lizzy! how are you?

her: I'm doing well, you?

me: I'm good, thanks! I'm not sure which is more impressive, the photo where you are flying the plane or the one where you are driving the snail

her: oh the snail for sure! much bumpier ride

me: yeah I drove a slug once, but I think you need a commercial license for a snail. So where were you working abroad?

*crickets*

[myosis]

just write her once more
"hey how about them crickets?"

[Trotskilicious]

skip the hi how are you, it just wastes time really. this is what online dating is like. its like an eternal audition room with women who are looking for rock squarejaw or cooltall mchipster and won't really give anyone else a chance

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I hate online dating, I just don't know what to do to be successful. girl has photos of herself in a cockpit and sitting on a statue of a snail and her bio says she just got back from working overseas

her: haaaaay!

Wait a second, the girl messaged you first? Doesn't that mean that you're already in?

I don't know anything about online dating because I've never used it, but I second what Trots said about not starting with typical greetings like "how's it going?" or "what's up?" or "hey." On most online dating things, women get tonnes of messages and have to be selective, while men get few, so you have to stand out. There's also the fact that, since the website's specific purpose is facilitating dates, you can get right to the point and don't have to spend time gauging their interest to see if it's okay to flirt. Random strangers or coworkers or classmates in the analog world didn't sign up to be flirted with, so you have to gauge their interest through body language and tone to know what they are comfortable with. But people on dating sites did sign up to be flirted with, so the first step of gauging receptivity is already done for you.

I'd say to skip generic greetings and try to go in for a joke that's related to what little you know about her right away. The snail joke was good, and you may as well had just opened with that right off the bat.

Maybe think of absurd questions based off of what's in their profile. I dunno, I might even start with totally irrelevant silly questions, like "do you prefer crunchy or smooth peanut butter," and jokingly act like whichever is their preference automatically means you're incompatible. It might lead to a little playful banter/role playing where she acts like you're a blasphemous heretic for preferring the other sort of peanut butter. It's dumb, but at least it's probably not something she's seen before. She's probably seen a lot of "what's your dog's name?" or "nice hair" or "wow, you're gorgeous."

I dunno, I've realized that my problem was never knowing how to shift from that polite small talk and being bland as oatmeal and essentially playing "20 questions" to having actual engaging conversation. I think realizing that and injecting more of myself into interactions rather than focusing on being inoffensive has made a huge difference. Now when I ask for a number or text a girl, I'll try to go for a joke right away. It's reassuring and disarming.

Also, don't cuss like a sailor, but throw in a casual profanity a few messages into the conversation. It almost always results in the other party mirroring you and including a curse in their reply. I dunno, it seems to signal to people that they can be casual around you and that you're easy-going and you are now past the stiff formalities. Also, somebody mirroring your behaviour usually means that they like you on some level, so if they do respond immediately with a profanity, that's a good sign.

Lol, I like how I've, like, been close enough to a girl to see her pores twice now and I'm already pretending that I'm some sort of dating guru.

[FoolofaTook]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I hate online dating, I just don't know what to do to be successful. girl has photos of herself in a cockpit and sitting on a statue of a snail and her bio says she just got back from working overseas

her: haaaaay!

me: hey Lizzy! how are you?

her: I'm doing well, you?

me: I'm good, thanks! I'm not sure which is more impressive, the photo where you are flying the plane or the one where you are driving the snail

her: oh the snail for sure! much bumpier ridey

me: yeah I drove a slug once, but I think you need a commercial license for a snail. So where were you working abroad?

*crickets*

dic pic time

[yo soy el mejor]

shit's weak, son.

[cork_soaker]

nice pores

[cork_soaker]

dollface

[LaBelle]

Online dating is so fickle.
Using tinder I've had what seemed like interesting conversations just fizzle out for no apparent reason.
Maybe they found someone they hit it off better with in the meantime? Who knows.

I've been mostly swiping people who have cats in their pics now. Everyone is down with cat chat apparently.

[LaBelle]

Also the number of people who ask if i'm a wiccan because of a pic where i'm wearing a heartagram necklace is super annoying.

[Trotskilicious]

why wear it then?

[Trotskilicious]

its like if i wore a sickle and hammer thing and was annoyed with people asking if i was a bolshevik

[LaBelle]

It's not wiccan tho, it's the HIM logo... I wear it cause I like it.

[Trotskilicious]

isn't bam margera the reason that band is famous

[LaBelle]

Yes, p much.
To me it's one of those bands that I know is bad nowadays like Linkin Park or Evanescence, but I still have an emotional attachment to them because they did mean something to me at some point.

It's dumb, I know.

[Trotskilicious]

i mean i know someone with a sp logo on they tiddy

[buzzard]

lol r u bam margeras sister

[buzzard]

Okay. Turns out that was a bit slow.