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Old 07-17-2020, 10:25 PM   #91
Disco King
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
Make up an 'ethnic' sounding name that matches your middle initial and just keep going with it for the rest of your life

Like Joseph Jamal Lastname

insert stereotypical matching name of your choice
Despite the fact that my last name is Scottish (there's even a road in Scotland with the name), typing it into Google mainly turns up black people.

I'm guessing the name came to Africa with British colonization, but then all the actual Scottish people with it just died or something?

Quote:
Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor View Post


“This is a major point of our research—that you are at an even greater risk for discrimination when applying with a pro-diversity employer because you’re being more transparent,” DeCelles says. “Those companies have the same rate of discrimination, which makes you more vulnerable when you expose yourself to those companies.”
Welp, I guess I'm wearing whiteface to the interviews.

At least it won't be offensive if I apply to that position as a clown.

Wait, I already have that position.

 
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Old 07-25-2020, 02:12 PM   #92
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dag, i got moved into a smaller pool of candidates for a PT job at a poetry organization (would turn FT after a year) . apparently over 200 people applied and now it's a group of 50 (still, yikes). my cover letter was long, but it's always long---it's kinda my shtick.

i saw the job posting on the 20th and applied that day even though it said they were accepting applications until july 8th. i just mentioned in my cover letter i hoped the posting online meant they were still taking resumes. just a little tip, DK!

 
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Old 07-25-2020, 03:12 PM   #93
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ur dad has a little tip

 
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Old 07-25-2020, 03:13 PM   #94
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Old 08-12-2020, 03:56 PM   #95
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I looked up the LinkedIn of this company I saw a job posting for and might apply for, and the co-founder happens to be somebody I went to school with whose guts I hated.

I didn't have any real interactions with him. I just got a very douchey vibe from him, and remember he posted some shitty sexist bro-dude shit on this unofficial campus meme page back in the day.

I know that people change and I wouldn't hold that against somebody if it happened in, like, high school, but this shit was in university and not that long ago and it's more likely than not he's still a douche.

A douche that's more successful than me, has a software engineering degree, held several professional jobs, and now runs a marketing/advertising business. In the time it took me to finish my goddamn arts undergrad.

I found his YouTube channel. It's brand new and has no subscribers or views yet, but it looks like he's trying to do the influencer vlog thing, and he looks rich.

I hate everything. FUCK THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

 
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Old 08-12-2020, 04:36 PM   #96
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is he a tsp deep cuts connoisseur like you tho?



your welcome.

 
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Old 08-12-2020, 08:04 PM   #97
Disco King
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A good way to ruin your day is to go onto LinkedIn and see how all your former peers are so much more successful than you are.

 
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Old 08-12-2020, 08:20 PM   #98
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You should try being more successful

 
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Old 08-12-2020, 09:27 PM   #99
Disco King
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What's the point of all this, anyway? What's there to look forward to? Only a select few people will ever get to follow their passions in life, and for the rest of us, we just spend our lives slaving away at bullshit we don't care about so that we can have the means to not starve to death. Wanna be a research professor? The world is full of ph.Ds, many of them from more prestigious schools than you, vying for limited positions. Wanna be a film director? Good luck getting the means to fund your productions, or to even have no-budget productions break even. Wanna be a musician? Put your tunes into the Soundcloud void where nobody but your close friends will ever listen to them, and even they will forget to and just tell you your songs sounded great.

Oh, but you can be a car-insurance sales rep or do data entry at a bank and give no shits about what you do, living only to get home in the evenings to microwave another TV dinner because you're too tired to cook again and binge-watch a mediocre series on Netflix. Feeling excited every Friday because you're finally going to have a couple of days off work, but Sunday comes and it's spent feeling kinda miserable because you're mentally preparing yourself for having to go back to work tomorrow.

This is what we have to look forward to in life. And then we die. The end.

Why can't I just expedite the fucking process

 
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Old 08-12-2020, 09:48 PM   #100
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Seeing as a lot of resources say that one should "show, not tell," and demonstrate one's skills on one's résumé, I don't know how to believably hype up these kinda fake skills I'm exaggerating.

"Oh, I'm good at analyzing data."

"Can you run regression analyses?"

"No."

"Do you know how to data mine using machine learning?"

"No."

"Are you adept with Google Analytics?"

"No."

Me and my stupid, stupid degree that I picked straight out of high school and now owe a lot of money on because I signed a contract at age 18.

 
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Old 08-13-2020, 01:17 AM   #101
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This is exactly the thread I need to get excited about the extra fab(ricated) resumé I just completed for the first time in years. So inspiring and ringing quite too true.

 
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Old 08-13-2020, 05:55 AM   #102
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Well Mr. King, it's like they say, it's a bittersweet symphony this life. Try to make ends meet, you're a slave to money, then you die.

 
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Old 08-13-2020, 04:12 PM   #103
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Little-known fact: the string section of that song was played on an ensemble of the world's smallest fiddles, and they were playing especially for me.

 
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Old 08-13-2020, 04:17 PM   #104
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I have a dream that automation will free humanity from unfulfilling work, and we will look back at the concept of work with the same condemnation with which we look back at feudalism.

Fully-automated luxury space communism NOW.

 
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Old 08-13-2020, 07:09 PM   #105
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If I ever go back in time, I shall write the ultimate sci-fi screenplay in which the technological advances are marked more than anything by redundancy fears across the economy.

 
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Old 08-17-2020, 04:45 PM   #106
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How long does it take normal people to write résumés and cover letters?

It takes me hours just to do one, which severely limits how many jobs I can apply for. This pace isn't likely to be fruitful, as many people seem to have to apply for dozens of postings to even get an interview, let alone a job. And on top of that, the first job I get may not even turn out to be a fit for me, so I will likely have to keep applying even after that.

How the fuck do people fire this shit off in twenty minutes?

 
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Old 08-17-2020, 04:47 PM   #107
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I've literally spent my day writing one page today.

Pretty much the same story as when I was drudging through essays in school. Even though I got good marks on them, writing them was like trying to pass a kidney stone.

And then when I do get a job that involves writing, I'll probably get fired because I miss deadlines for reports.

 
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Old 08-17-2020, 05:26 PM   #108
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I would suggest making templates for types of jobs and just minimally editing them. Like I was searching for mental health tech outpatient jobs and inpatient jobs, outpatient is more towards dual diagnosis people and inpatient is usually more severe pathology (although lots of DD persons too) - so I had a generic one for each and just modified what I needed to.
But yeah it's a bitch for sure, I did like 50 and got 2 interviews

 
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Old 08-17-2020, 05:45 PM   #109
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yeah I did the same. just don't forget to replace the company name after telling them why you so want to work for them.

 
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Old 08-17-2020, 05:46 PM   #110
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dear mr Bezos,

I would LOVE to work for google!

 
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Old 08-17-2020, 05:53 PM   #111
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I'm hiring this fine young chap. He apparently shares my aspirations for me to own Google.


 
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Old 08-17-2020, 07:29 PM   #112
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I just finished a cover letter, which took me six or seven hours all told, I think. I'll submit it tomorrow so that I can call the company first and ask for the hiring manager's name so that I can address it to somebody.

I wanted to do more than one résumé/cover letter today, but after how long that took, I don't think I have it in me to do any more until tomorrow.

All that effort for something I have a 3% chance of ever hearing about again is fucking draining.

 
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Old 08-17-2020, 07:32 PM   #113
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Anyway, what's proper LinkedIn etiquette? Is it like Facebook, where you only add people you actually know in real life? Do I add anybody with whom I think a connection might benefit me (people who work administrative positions in companies I am applying for)? Should I send them a message when I add them?

I haven't even got a photo for this shit yet. Is a LinkedIn profile without a photo essentially as useful as a Plenty of Fish profile without a photo?

 
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Old 08-17-2020, 10:31 PM   #114
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I need a photo as well and also I have no idea what the answers to your questions are. I think it's for people you have at least talked to or been introduced to

 
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Old 08-18-2020, 04:14 PM   #115
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Job I applied to sent me an email back.

They want me to respond to three questions.

Via recorded video.

Why.

 
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Old 08-18-2020, 04:17 PM   #116
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Why can't I just type them? I'm in my gym clothes right now, my room is way too cluttered for any video recorded within it to have even a modicum of professionalism, and I have a nasty mosquito bite right on my goddamn nose.

Why do I have to shower for something I'm going to do at home?

 
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Old 08-18-2020, 04:25 PM   #117
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"Why should we hire you over any of the other applicants? What do you bring that others can't?"

How the fuck would I know when I don't know any of the other applicants?

"Are you a competitive person?"

No. But the correct answer for this is "yes." So, yes.

 
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Old 08-18-2020, 04:25 PM   #118
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That’s great though, congrats...

Have you read up on behavioural interview questions already, in case you get those...?

 
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Old 08-18-2020, 05:41 PM   #119
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I've personally found that the more cliché your answers are, the more positive the interviewer's feedback is. At the end of the day, you're going to end up telling them what they want to hear. It sucks.

What's shit about behavioural interview questions is that what they ask might not match your previous experience and so you may want to read up on what those questions are and relate them to something you've done.

The whole process of job hunting is horrifying.

 
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Old 08-18-2020, 06:44 PM   #120
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Agree about it being horrifying...and working out what stories you have to tell that will fit well with behavioural questions. My first interview with behavioural questions was a complete train wreck, I wince every time I think about it. Actually, they’ve all been train wrecks if I’m honest

 
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