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06-06-2016, 09:18 PM | #271 |
Immortal
Posts: 25,684
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But for real keep up that tough love. Kids should be made to feel shitty when they fuck up, they don't learn by logic
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06-06-2016, 10:13 PM | #272 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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I can't help but feel that subjecting children to confusing punishments and general lunacy is more likely to give rise to antisocial behaviour later in life than early morning video games and playground drama.
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06-06-2016, 10:20 PM | #273 | |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,752
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Quote:
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06-06-2016, 10:55 PM | #274 |
Saturday Night Goth
Location: POLLOS
Posts: 9,207
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Brock Turner the rapist Jonathan Monte micropenis IT
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06-06-2016, 11:13 PM | #275 |
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
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my mom has breast cancer
mri on thursday, meeting with doctor team next wed, appointment with breast surgeon (the one who diagnosed who we saw today) two weeks from now to set a date for surgery. she needs radiation treatment as well, don't know about chemo yet still waiting for results. not staged yet but likely not in lymph nodes. it is invasive however and the tumor is grade 2. 1.7cm tumor plus many microcalcifications |
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06-06-2016, 11:42 PM | #276 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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vixnix is pretending her sons are all the guys she feels took advantage of her and making them (and her husband) pay for it. she justifies it by saying she is helping them not be that way.
unlike some other posters, i'm not going to side with or feel sympathy for a foul mother figure just because we post on the same message board. the sentiment i can understand, but by all accounts she is a distant and cold mother who has already labeled and minimized her sons. |
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06-07-2016, 12:11 AM | #277 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: on the internet
Posts: 1,969
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So until 2009, toddles and have a great 2008
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06-07-2016, 12:13 AM | #278 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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Well I'm not proud of myself as a mother so I'm not going to defend what I did at any great length.
I probably have coddled them long enough though. I have read and re-read a book by a NZ author, a former prison warden called Celia Lashlie, that has been a guide to me over the years, so I'll probably turn back to that for advice today. She was interested in how so many young males end up in prison - like this sick rapist guy. One of her theories is that young men are not allowed to face the consequences of their actions often enough as they grow, so when they are away from their parents, and able to make their own choices, they make shitty ones. She has a lot of other ideas about raising boys, and I really respect her views. One of her ideas is sending boys to all-boy schools, which is something I agree with. There's a good video interview with her here. |
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06-07-2016, 12:22 AM | #279 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: on the internet
Posts: 1,969
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toddles
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06-07-2016, 02:10 AM | #280 |
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,874
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ah shit
Last edited by Disco King : 06-07-2016 at 02:13 AM. Reason: emojis fucked up |
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06-07-2016, 02:16 AM | #281 |
Braindead
Location: TX
Posts: 16,289
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All boys schools sound like a really bad idea. All boys ANYTHING is a bad idea
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06-07-2016, 02:20 AM | #282 | ||||
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,874
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Quote:
But seriously, though, your kid disobeying rules isn't an indication that he will grow up to be a rapist, it's an indication that he's a kid. The other one, the coughing one, that's not even malfeasance or anything. That's just a kid not knowing better than to not cough in faces. Don't think he was like, "mum wouldn't let me have the frosted cereal, said it has too much sugar or some shit; gonna give that bitch a cold." If you want your kids to not rape, withholding care probably isn't the way to do it. Most studies have found that hostile sexism is a much higher predictor of sexual abuse than even anti-social personality traits, so just teach them to respect women and teach them consent. Quote:
It would probably explain a sudden revisiting of sexual abuse and sudden transference of feelings about past abusers toward her children if the site is some anal porn thing. Quote:
Quote:
Seems like a better way to fix that would be to make boys less prickish. |
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06-07-2016, 08:31 AM | #283 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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I think her idea is that primary & secondary education is generally speaking, a feminized environment, so at a coed school, the teachers will be mostly female, and they will naturally favour female teaching methods that in turn favour female students. Their voices can be quite high, and they value verbal as opposed to non-verbal communication, so a lot of boys end up zoning out or getting into trouble. And that boys schools are more accepting of 'boy' behaviour, like doing stupid impulsive things and then lacking the communication skills to explain why they did it, being physical and unable to sit still, breaking shit accidentally, goofing off all the time, hating to appear weak, hating feeling vulnerable, all that kind of stuff. And the most important thing is that all boy schools attract more male teaching staff, so they end up with more male role models.
If you watch the interview, she says there are aspects of boys schools that make her physically sick, like the obsession with hierarchy, the glorification of the school's high achievers, etc. but that boys and men (in general terms) like to feel like they're a part of something bigger, and in adolescence the respond really well to all of that stuff, because it gives them something to aspire to, and a sense of belonging. I know the same was true at my all-girls school. Another huge benefit for me, going to an all girls school, was that our drama productions had all female casts - so male characters were played by girls. If you've heard of the Bechdel Test, then you'll know how few interesting dramatic/musical roles there are for girls. It just meant that more of us had a chance to be on stage. Similarly, at an all boys school, things like dance and choir aren't seen as 'girls' activities, the way they are at coed schools, here in Australia, at least. We've enrolled the eldest at the local all boys school, but I don't know if he'll go. You don't reap many of the available benefits at a school if you're miserable and you'd rather be with all your friends, who are down at the local public coed high school. If there was a local government all-boys high school that he and all his friends were going to attend, I wouldn't even think about it. But I think New Zealand is quite odd like that, having single sex high schools as being more or less standard, nationwide. They're not snobbish independent schools. Just your average shitty public high schools, but with uniforms, and not coed. |
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06-07-2016, 09:42 AM | #284 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle?
Posts: 32,743
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whatever
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06-07-2016, 10:06 AM | #285 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,752
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Although the causes behind why women do better in school is hotly debated, it makes little difference because once kids are out of school and in the workforce, underqualified men will eat up all the jobs and opportunities which should go to their smarter, more accomplished female counterparts.
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06-07-2016, 11:40 AM | #286 | |
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
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Quote:
I can't help thinking that doing this for four whole years though is a bit much. What if you could have like 2 and 2? This way the role modeling and dance and choir participation is initiated, but they don't live in an all boy bubble for so long? |
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06-07-2016, 01:59 PM | #287 |
Braindead
Location: TX
Posts: 16,289
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Do you not think giving boys little exposure to the opposite sex for all of their teenage years wouldn't help the college rape thing?
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06-07-2016, 02:27 PM | #288 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle?
Posts: 32,743
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but elphy don't you see he lied about playing games online this boy is growing up to be a rapist there isn't much that can be done at this point to be honest
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06-07-2016, 02:52 PM | #289 |
Minion of Satan
Location: Banned
Posts: 8,874
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Oh, so it was a game, not anal porn. I guess that's good.
It's actually kinda fun. Except I hate online multiplayers because they always drop you in with players who are total tanks and it's not fun when you just keep on losing. Like, within a minute-and-a-half, I got enclosed by this big-ass snake who probably got so good by being on there 24/7, including when he's supposed to be in bed. It was probably your ten-year-old. Look how shitty he made me do. http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u...psskjsf12x.png I think you should punish him for this by telling him, "we have some leftover Old El Paso sauce packets from last night and some ground beef is thawing in the sink; make your own goddamn dinner." |
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06-07-2016, 03:02 PM | #290 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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"foul mother figure"
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06-07-2016, 08:51 PM | #291 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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It blew over. I apologised for overreacting, and asked him how he felt about sneaking around behind our (my husband's and mine) backs, and he sad he felt bad about it. So we left it at that. The seven year old got in the car after school yesterday and told me solemnly that he hadn't excluded anyone today. And then I helped him learn how to spell gluteous maximus as it's the 'word of the week' and he'll get a reward if he can spell it correctly to the 'gifted and talented' teacher (he asked me to help him, because he wants the reward) (he's not 'gifted and talented', but I think he wishes he was, and she just happens to be the teacher who organises this word of the week thing).
So everything turned out OK. I think all-boy vs coed depends on the boy, and there are benefits and costs with both. My parents let me choose where to go to high school, so I'll do the same for him. And he can always switch if he isn't happy, or if he wants to change. It isn't a huge deal for him, because his father lives at home with him, nearly all of his friends' fathers live at home, so wherever he goes, he sees men who are loving and caring with their kids, and his cricket coach, swimming coach, soccer coach, trombone teacher and band leader are all males. As well as his class teacher, this year. So he isn't in dire need of good male role models. But for a lot of boys with single mothers, whose parents can't afford to buy the time of positive male role models, and who are in desperate need of an environment that fosters positive masculinity to combat the negative ideas they have about manhood (and thus, about themselves) all boys schools can be a lifesaver. All boys schools in upper middle class areas often do breed rape culture, I agree. I think it can reinforce a sense of privilege and entitlement. And there is a big problem in Sydney at the moment, with residential colleges at Sydney University, where rape culture is rife, and there are new stories coming out all the time about disgusting attitudes and criminal behaviour. And the kids in those colleges are nearly all from private, single-sex schools. So it's definitely a huge concern for me. The school he's enrolled at isn't known for breeding rape culture, but it is known as a place where privileged people send their sons to make sure they get something better than what's being handed out for free at the government schools, to what they consider to be the hoi polloi. But we've talked with both our kids about how privileged we are, and how if they want to attend a school like that, it would be because of the extra opportunities available there, and not because they deserve any more than anyone else, but because if they have ideas about how they want to serve their communities as adults and there are things they could learn better there, it's part of their training for life, to take those opportunities. The ethos of this particular school has developed into one of strength through good character and empathy. It's nice for a school to have a particular identity like that, I think. |
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06-07-2016, 09:01 PM | #292 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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As I'm going to be in Sydney for about a week in July, I'd appreciate it if you could provide a list of restaurants and bars that are the least rape-oriented.
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06-07-2016, 09:14 PM | #293 |
Socialphobic
Location: we are champions, bathed in the heat of a thousand flame wars in the grim future of the internet there is only netphoria
Posts: 12,467
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Where are you staying? CBD? I have no recs but my husband could recommend some bars, and my friend's husband is a sommelier so he'd have good advice for restaurants. I'm never in the city, except for uni. I'm too suburban
When are you here? We're back in NZ from the 6th-15th. |
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06-07-2016, 09:23 PM | #294 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,882
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local news report that a truck just killed 5 cyclists riding in Kalamazoo. we have lots of friends there and i'm worried one of them is dead.
i'll probably find out tonight on FB |
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06-07-2016, 09:25 PM | #295 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,882
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some motherfucker plowed into a group of children and adults who were on bikes and then tried to "flee on foot" and was caught by the police. still no names...
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06-07-2016, 09:39 PM | #296 |
Braindead
Location: PROWLING THE BADLANDS
Posts: 17,399
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06-07-2016, 09:39 PM | #297 |
Braindead
Location: PROWLING THE BADLANDS
Posts: 17,399
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seriously though hope your friends are ok scotty
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06-07-2016, 10:04 PM | #298 |
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
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sorry scotty, hope your friends are ok
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06-09-2016, 09:06 PM | #299 |
Virgo
Posts: 42,781
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06-11-2016, 08:06 PM | #300 |
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
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someone was arrested at my store because she stole like $15k somehow through western union transfers. she did not seem sketchy at all, it's pretty weird. i think they had been investigating for a while. we were having money problems in the back office but since i don't close i generally don't have to figure out what happened and never knew what the real story was. the last day i worked with her one of the registers was short like $20
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