Netphoria Message Board


Go Back   Netphoria Message Board > General Boards > General Chat Message Board
Register Netphoria's Amazon.com Link Members List Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-24-2019, 05:26 AM   #1
smashingjj
real estate cowboy
 
smashingjj's Avatar
 
Location: if Monsanto and Purdue Pharma had a baby
Posts: 36,879
Default Haven't taken a shit since 2016.

Just waiting to see exactly how big the relief can feel.

 
smashingjj is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2019, 07:20 AM   #2
FoolofaTook
Just Hook it to My Veins!
 
FoolofaTook's Avatar
 
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,215
Default

What is this? A joke? Or maybe you think this is a game???


It is well-known that the Dutch do not defecate. They secrete their fecal juices into a little flesh sac attached to their elbows. When this sac becomes properly bloated, it is harvested by poop-bees, who build their nests and raise their broods on Dutch fecal juice.

 
FoolofaTook is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2019, 09:28 AM   #3
ella
Minion of Satan
 
ella's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,573
Default

Thanks for opening this discussion, Smashingjj.

Constipation bothers trillions of Americans every night. But I found the perfect solution. No, it’s not CBD oil. I simply hire a person to breathe air directly into my asshole every night. Yes, mouth-to-asshole. This is the only solution that keeps BIG PHARMA out of my shitting quarters with their machines. If you do some research, you’ll find out that astronauts used this technique for thousands of years.

 
ella is offline
Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2019, 12:51 PM   #4
ovary
Ownz
 
Posts: 901
Default

been three years
since ive passed a shit
can't seem to hit that toilet mitt

so take a seat,
if you have time,
and ill paint you a typical night in rhyme:

full moon rising
bowels aflutter
backed up like an unclean gutter

wife is sleeping
night birds cheeping
kung pao through my butt is creeping

cheeks are flapping
farts come clapping
below me water gently lapping

progress slow
but not too shabby
make eye contact with my tabby

but hours pass
and morning light
illuminates my disgraceful plight

hear wifey stir
"hun i hate to ask,
but will you please breathe on my ass?"

 
ovary is offline
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Google


Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
shit fuckers can type! sickbadthing General Chat Message Board 60 05-23-2019 11:18 AM
Postfinal Debate about Zeitgeist BumbleBeeMouth Pumpkins Archive 239 12-13-2014 10:25 AM
Claritin is THE SHIT! MyOneAndOnly General Chat Archive 27 11-09-2011 10:58 PM
st #001: what do you think of the following netphorians? mxzombie General Chat Archive 387 08-19-2011 02:56 PM
Mexico is going to hell over all this narc shit... barden General Chat Archive 8 08-16-2011 11:57 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:33 AM.




Smashing Pumpkins, Alternative Music
& General Discussion Message Board and Forums
www.netphoria.org - Copyright © 1998-2022