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Old 08-11-2018, 07:31 AM   #31
amoergosum
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Old 08-11-2018, 11:33 AM   #32
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Old 08-11-2018, 11:50 AM   #33
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not even joking the main reason i initially got sucked into reading netphoria was because of the monte chronicles, years after the fact... thanks for posting again!

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:23 PM   #34
BurtSampson
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Monte is the most fascinating man I've ever seen. The Burger King crowns...legendary

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:31 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Cool As Ice Cream View Post
still have to look for crown and star jpgs.
can't locate crown.jpg or star.jpg.
help?

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:35 PM   #36
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AHA!





also found the netphorian thread monty made about this cancelled date: http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=132080

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:37 PM   #37
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i thought i'd never find them again.

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:52 PM   #38
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today is the greatest

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:57 PM   #39
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omg lol http://www.monteit.com/rates.html

three different spellings for "minimum". none of them correct.
MINMUIM
MINNUIM
MIMUIM
he does seem convinced that the word should end in -UIM, somehow.


 
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Old 08-11-2018, 02:38 PM   #40
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LOL HOLY SHIT

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 02:48 PM   #41
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I’m surprised he’s not runnng a major multinational by now.

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 04:18 PM   #42
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This stuff is priceless. Long time lurker, very rare poster, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to ask if there's some sort of central place to reminisce about this shit?

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 06:42 PM   #43
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right here, montyphoria
your daily monty fix

 
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Old 08-11-2018, 07:31 PM   #44
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The only reason I stuck around here was Monte.

It was stunning all the way up through the Oceania cruise.

And then Billy severed ties.

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 02:37 AM   #45
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i wonder how that happened. did it just kind of slow down to nothing, or was there an incident? maybe monty upset sp camp?

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 02:46 AM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool As Ice Cream View Post
i wonder how that happened. did it just kind of slow down to nothing, or was there an incident? maybe monty upset sp camp?
Was it a dynamic incident?

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 03:14 AM   #48
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Sad. Looks like he pulled the plug on Crestfallen.com

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 01:22 PM   #49
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This guy has to be a high level troll, there's just no other way.

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 01:25 PM   #50
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UPDATE: Nicole played drums, while Mike played keys and Jeff played bass on To Sheila tonight in Prague.

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 02:55 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MTAE View Post
This guy has to be a high level troll, there's just no other way.
or, you know, an autistic Mormon

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 03:27 PM   #52
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Anyone have a link to the thread where he dressed up in a gorilla suit for a first date

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 04:47 PM   #53
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$40 minmuim!

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 05:17 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
I never post here very much. i read a handful of things here and there, but stayed rather quiet. Not talking about my life like i use to, but i thought meh- I would just bring up this recent news!

Hope everyone is doing well!

I had met a really great girl on Dec 2nd. Her name is Amy and she is very cute and was a delight to talk to. I chose to ask her out. I had told her about how I like to do big wow dates that consequently cost a handful of money. She said that she would "love to go out with me" but she wanted to make it hard on me by giving me a $30 limit. This was except able by me and was praised by others. Many of my friends said that she would be worth dating for having such integrity by not expressing that she wanted to do something amazing and costly.

Amy and I ended up talking on the phone a lot. And shortly after several days in a row of talking to her I found that we clicked. She was obviously the kind of girl I have wanted to date all my life. Sweet, easy to talk to, willing to be open with me and loves the church of which we both are committed to. Plus she loves to cook which is a HUGE plus! She is by far the best girl that I have meet this year. And I have done a lot of dates (13+ different girls)

I wanted to prove to Amy that I could give her an amazing date. I told her that this date was going be one we could look back at and say 'wow, that was a really cool date!' So I had planed our date to be done as follows.

I would greet her at her door and give her a paper flower i made that request she put a memory of our date on each petal.

I also had written a letter and had a box wrapped up

the letter read as follows:

Enclosed are two crowns.
One marked for Amy and one marked for Jonathan
Please take the crown of your counter partner and read the inscriptions aloud
Starting with Jonathan reading the inscription to Amy and then Amy to Jonathan.
Then crown each other.

Sincerely His Grace-
The King

Inside the box where the 2 crowns from burger king that i had placed our names on. here is a picture of them.
http://www.monteit.com/crown.jpg

and had these inscriptions that read the following

Amy's Crown:
Rules of being a Princess
A princess must always act
in a princess fashion.
She must remember that she is
royalty and always expect to be treated
as such.

Things a Princess Must Remember:
1) A princess will never need to open any door. As royalty she is entitled to all doors to be open for her by a fair prince.
2) A princess should always show thanks for that of which she receives.
3) A princess needs not to always wear her crown if she should chose to remove it. But she should never forget that she is royalty.
4) A princess should always be with a fair prince until she wishes to dismiss him

Perks of being a Princess

She gets to spend time
with a fair prince instead of some frog.

The Authority of a Princess

A princess has the right; as all women
do, to make a choice to show affection,
to except or decline affection from a prince. Along with the divine authority to rebuke any
unwanted affection however she may please


Jonathan's Crown:

Rules of being a Prince
A prince must always act as
a fair prince, willing to protect
his princess of which he is
courting, even if just for an evening

Things a Prince Must Remember:
1) A prince must open ever door for his princess with a smile. He should never be slow to opening a door.
2) A prince should always be thankful for the honor of being with a princess.
3) A prince needs not to always wear his crown unless he is accompanying a princess whom is wearing hers.
4) A prince should always be with his princess until she wishes to dismiss him

Perks of being a Prince
He gets to spend time with a beautiful princess

The Authority of a Prince
A prince has the right to treat a princess with100% respect. This is as far as his authority reaches.


From here we crown each other. And walk out her door to my car. At my car I had a little red table cloth that was made of plastic that i had rolled out for over 10 feet as a red carpet for her. which lead to her door which i was to open. Inside she would have a special CD that I made for her. 20 tracks and a booklet telling her why i chose each track for the CD.

We then would go to one of my clients beauty salon where we were going to give her a manicure for free. thanks to my client. From here we would travel to downtown and walk to another client shop to get 4 chocolate covered strawberries that was once again free. From here we would go to an office i do work at and play a board game, and while playing a board game a client whom owns a floral shop would come in giving her a dozen roses at no cost to me. From here we would go to dinner @ a clients house for dinner. a very elegant dinner. We would enjoy their company. From here we would return to my car where upon i would ask her to open my glove compartment and give me a brown bag, which would have 6 stars like this. They have little LEDs that connect to a battery on the back and is tightly secured so that they can give light.
http://www.monteit.com/star.jpg


They have a magnet on the back which would allow them to hold onto my convertible top, and i would tell her we are going take a drive under the stars. From here we would drive to a place where a Salvation Army bell ringer would be, and donate the $30.


Sadly she had to cancel our date... and we plan to go out again, but this time she is in charge of making the date and I gave her $200 and said she has to use it all and give me a really cool date!


Sigh being romantic didn't seem to pay off
This guy sounds like a serial killer. What in the fucking actual fucking fuck.

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 05:45 PM   #55
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This is a real person. He's out there somewhere. Walking among us. Is Billy in any danger?

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 07:09 PM   #56
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"And I have done a lot of dates (13+ different girls)"

Monte's first "Lucky 13" project.
I can figure out now, why Corgan's endorsed mission failed...

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 07:21 PM   #57
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How does a man who cant even operate a pair of scissors above a kindergarten level get one date let alone 13?

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 08:05 PM   #58
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so u think your all that b/c u know how many ppl monty has dated?

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 08:22 PM   #59
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So is Monte still married to the chick with the big rack?

 
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Old 08-12-2018, 08:45 PM   #60
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Careful, guys. We don’t want him to John Lennon Billy.

 
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