Friday/Saturday drunk or otherwise thread

[teh b0lly!!1]

we did drink yesterday if that counts

this is the soundtrack to my soul right now



especially the last 2 minutes

[buzzard]

http://i.imgur.com/QsuAZYp.jpg

[toase]

you think we all chemists in here?

you and reprise

stop with those polygons and just say the name of the substance
jesus

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

that i can never just enjoy anything at all without being absolutely consumed by crippling anxieties of endless kinds, both during and afterward, and how always falling back to black holes of profound existentialist depression is just inevitable. i'm just so tired from it, from everything having to be a mental struggle

Is the feeling you have that feeling of lack of accomplishment and satisfaction in life, and the feeling that life is just sort of passing you by and that you are yet to do anything fulfilling in it, and yet you don't have the energy to even try most days because attempts at self improvement just seem hopeless and futile? And that you feel inadequate compared to most people? If so, I know that feel, bro. I know that feel.

Disco King strikes again by turning yet another fun thread into a group therapy thread where he overshares about his dull existence.

As icing on the dry, lopsided cake of misery, I present to you 9/11.

http://wideshut.co.uk/wp-content/upl...6040031680.jpg

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by toase

you think we all chemists in here?

you and reprise

stop with those polygons and just say the name of the substance
jesus

It appears to be Clonazepam, Alfred. Marketed under the brand name 'Klonopin,' it is prescribed to those who suffer from seizures, panic disorder, or akathisia.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HDLEycm-LI...microscope.jpg

[redbreegull]

http://i.imgur.com/68ex4yB.jpg?1

[teh b0lly!!1]

i really am giving my all to trying to start a clean slate but even when i manage to do so, for a few moments, it's immediately followed by a landslide of negative emotions that i cannot explain even to myself. always hindering doubts and something pulling downward. fuck this shit already. fuck.

[redbreegull]

Did you feel bad leading up to and during sex? Or was it afterward you started feeling like shit?

[teh b0lly!!1]

afterwards

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by Disco King

It appears to be Clonazepam, Alfred. Marketed under the brand name 'Klonopin,' it is prescribed to those who suffer from seizures, panic disorder, or akathisia.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HDLEycm-LI...microscope.jpg

Mahstah Wayne, moi oisoight may not bay is tha condition it woz in moi youngah yares, bote Oi cahn clarelay say thot yore raidang thot straight ōff uv Wikaypaideea on yore baht computah. If Oi may be so bold, it may suit you well ta stope baying a little arsewipe.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...ael_Caine).jpg

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

i really am giving my all to trying to start a clean slate but even when i manage to do so, for a few moments, it's immediately followed by a landslide of negative emotions that i cannot explain even to myself. always hindering doubts and something pulling downward. fuck this shit already. fuck.

Sometimes when something good happens to me, I feel this weird kind of emptiness, I dunno how to really explain it. Is it that? Is it a weird kind of emptiness?

Or maybe heartburn.

[redbreegull]

I don't have any conception if this is related at all, but I also sometimes experience a huge plunge in my emotional state after something really good happens. It's like when I feel too good about something, my mind has to equalize by making me feel like I want to kill myself

[teh b0lly!!1]

yeah both those descriptions sound about right.
just trying to take my mind off it and think simply. breaking the loops before they get too toxic. i wonder what it's like to be a normal and person who more or less has things together. that shit must be fucking amazing.

[redbreegull]

yeah

the other day I was wondering if such people actually exist

are there people who actually just feel good and positive most of the time? that's pretty hard for me to imagine

[teh b0lly!!1]

like, i've only been going out with this girl for a week. there's no real reason to overthink it, but it's so strange to be with somebody after exiting a 7 year relationship the way i did. i stroke her cheek as we just lay there and it feels just like it felt with her, like a deja vu, it's freaking me out.
logic says this shouldn't be anything more than a transitional thing but i'm scared that i might get attached, and that it'll fucking hurt saying goodbye when the time comes. and the clock is winding down (even if only, say, for visa issues).

goodbyes just fucking kill me. i remember writing really sad songs about terrible tv shows ending when i was a kid. i'm awful about saying goodbye. i'm not cut out for it. people seem to accept it as a natural aspect of life - even a healthy one, maybe - but it never stops being incredibly painful and difficult for me, with everything. people, places, tv shows, whatever. i don't know what i should be doing. fuck.

break the loop.

[teh b0lly!!1]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

yeah

the other day I was wondering if such people actually exist

are there people who actually just feel good and positive most of the time? that's pretty hard for me to imagine

they do.
one of my best friends is just like that.
he has no anxieties, no depressions, nothing bothers him, no crippling self awareness at all, fairly self content. of course he'll get bad moods like anyone does sometimes, but nothing comes close to hindering him the way i've been fighting tooth and nail with my whole life. i envy that so much.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

goodbyes just fucking kill me. i remember writing really sad songs about terrible tv shows ending when i was a kid. i'm awful about saying goodbye. i'm not cut out for it. people seem to accept it as a natural aspect of life - even a healthy one, maybe - but it never stops being incredibly painful and difficult for me, with everything. people, places, tv shows, whatever.

I can really relate to this

[teh b0lly!!1]

i believe you, but i don't see how. you went through seven girlfriends

i absolutely cannot imagine ever having the strength to go through that again, and i'd only had once.

[redbreegull]

in some ways you build emotional callouses each time you go through an experience like that. in other ways it never gets easier. and somehow I have always lived through each one although I was always certain I was going to either kill myself or die of grief

but also your relationship was 7 years? That's 3 on the longest one I was in. As much as the parting hurts, the emotional fallout from a 1 year relationship is not really the same. Probably the only time I have really experienced something like what you went through was when me and my ex of 4 years broke up. I mean I thought I was going to spend my life with her and suddenly she changed the entire course of my future. I imagine that is more like what you went through

[redbreegull]

the night she dumped me I just kept thinking over and over I am literally going to feel like I am dying inside for the next year and there is nothing I can do about it, I HAVE to end it somehow because there is just literally no way I can bear this kind of pain again. and yeah I lost my fucking mind and did the craziest shit I have ever done

but i'm still posting here today

http://i.imgur.com/HDF8MUV.jpg


now my feelings are like I could never summon the energy to build that kind of relationship again knowing it can just randomly be blown apart at any moment no matter how sure you think it is

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

they do.
one of my best friends is just like that.
he has no anxieties, no depressions, nothing bothers him, no crippling self awareness at all, fairly self content. of course he'll get bad moods like anyone does sometimes, but nothing comes close to hindering him the way i've been fighting tooth and nail with my whole life. i envy that so much.

Are normal people "happy" all the time, or just neutral? The idea of being happy as the default just seems odd to me. Like, if it's the default, wouldn't it just be called "neutral"? Like, do normal people wake up thinking "yay another day this is great I'm gonna keep on doing this life thing"?

For a long time, I thought dissatisfaction and pessimism and whatnot were the normal way to be. Obviously not extreme forms of it, but it genuinely surprised me when I took social psychology and found out that the average person is very optimistic about their future and predicts their futures will turn out better than their peers' will, and appraises their competencies and skills as higher than their peers. I was like, "what, I thought that everybody feels kind of inadequate compared to everybody else most of the time and feels uncertainty about their futures." People even tend to rate their own attractiveness pretty high. I had assumed that everybody would tend to feel insecure about their self image, partly because of how we're exposed to ideal images in the media, and partly because attractive people are more likely to stick out in our minds than non-attractive people, so we would take attractive people to be the representative of the average person, and feel inadequate compared to that norm that is the result of confirmation bias. Nope.

It kind of made me resent people when I found out that they all don't essentially have low self-esteem. I dunno, I was like "wow, the average person sounds insufferable, according to empirical research."

[redbreegull]

I know people who are prone to being content in life, but I don't know anyone who doesn't at least sometimes have intense self doubt, imposter syndrome, depression etc.

[teh b0lly!!1]

i typed a couple of long winded replies but i feel like i'm just grinding everyone's ears (well, eyes) and maybe starting to share a little too much. thanks for being there through another meltdown courtesy of tehbolly. and many more...

[Cool As Ice Cream]

i'm quite content most of the time. the whole anxiety/depression thing is foreign to me. i'm not sure i really understand.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

i don't belong here.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Disco King

Are normal people "happy" all the time, or just neutral? The idea of being happy as the default just seems odd to me. Like, if it's the default, wouldn't it just be called "neutral"? Like, do normal people wake up thinking "yay another day this is great I'm gonna keep on doing this life thing"?

For a long time, I thought dissatisfaction and pessimism and whatnot were the normal way to be. Obviously not extreme forms of it, but it genuinely surprised me when I took social psychology and found out that the average person is very optimistic about their future and predicts their futures will turn out better than their peers' will, and appraises their competencies and skills as higher than their peers. I was like, "what, I thought that everybody feels kind of inadequate compared to everybody else most of the time and feels uncertainty about their futures." People even tend to rate their own attractiveness pretty high. I had assumed that everybody would tend to feel insecure about their self image, partly because of how we're exposed to ideal images in the media, and partly because attractive people are more likely to stick out in our minds than non-attractive people, so we would take attractive people to be the representative of the average person, and feel inadequate compared to that norm that is the result of confirmation bias. Nope.

It kind of made me resent people when I found out that they all don't essentially have low self-esteem. I dunno, I was like "wow, the average person sounds insufferable, according to empirical research."

Yes, the default state is more towards happiness than neutral. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. And people are optimistic about themselves and their futures, consistently rating themselves as more attractive and with more potential than their peers, whether those things are true or not. But I don't know that anyone who has been clinically depressed will often get to this point. I think once you've been exposed to feel pessimistic about life and yourself you can't go back to not knowing it. I'm not saying you'll be depressed forever, but you've contemplated things that are upsetting about the world and human nature that you just can't forget. This adds depth to your personality but I think we pay a price for that.

That is all IMO past the first few lines

[reprise85]

Guys I also think antidepressants and therapy can help this a lot. In a big way our brains are just not normal, it's not some kind of moral weakness - our brains are different and at least temporarily need some help. I tend to personify my brain as another person in this regard almost. Like, my poor brain just can't be content by itself.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by reprise85

Yes, the default state is more towards happiness than neutral. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. And people are optimistic about themselves and their futures, consistently rating themselves as more attractive and with more potential than their peers, whether those things are true or not. But I don't know that anyone who has been clinically depressed will often get to this point. I think once you've been exposed to feel pessimistic about life and yourself you can't go back to not knowing it. I'm not saying you'll be depressed forever, but you've contemplated things that are upsetting about the world and human nature that you just can't forget. This adds depth to your personality but I think we pay a price for that.

I'm not sure if I am being serious or flippant when I ask this: are these people stupid though? It's oft repeated that psychology has shown correlation between high intelligence and mental illness, risky behaviors, etc. I guess maybe stupid isn't the right word, but are people like this going through life in a generally less analytical, contemplative way?

[teh b0lly!!1]

from my (admittedly small) experience, yes, that is correct rbg

[Cool As Ice Cream]

you guys callin me stupid?