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Old 11-04-2014, 10:47 PM   #121
Starla
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Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
feel better guys.

i am very fat and it does bother me too. ive been thinking about my face and how i will have a double chin soon, as soon as i get old enough to have saggy skin. i might want to kill myself then. really i just need to lose some weight. i am taking my wellness class next semester and will have to work out a lot - i am hoping this kick starts something good.
I've put on 38 lbs and have a teensy beginning of a double chin. Now that things has settled a bit in my life, I've been eating every thing in site. I love to eat when things are going well (sometimes stress eat too). Two more lbs and I guess I'll think about eating less. Our local com college has set up a food truck 3 blocks from my work place, and a new bbq has opened. This is gonna be difficult.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 10:41 AM   #122
yo soy el mejor
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laying on my tummy and leon is sitting on my butt. i can't move.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:37 AM   #123
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I'm getting ready to leave for a "holiday" at my brother's for a week by hmm...watching old Mission Impossible (or as i like to call it, Mission: Implausible) episodes on tv..... basically not getting shit done.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:58 AM   #124
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And what exactly should you be getting done?

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 12:40 PM   #125
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Getting shit ready. Luggage. My computer which i'm bringing. Stuff. Oh yeah and washing an shaving.

and erm....cleaning the house cause someone is coming to get me and that means they'll actually have to get into my apartment.... I fool people into thinking it's normally clean and in order. Its a fucking mess down to pretty much the last 30 minutes before anyone is scheduled to show up. Though i imagine they can all smell the cleaning products in the air and aren't fooled. Ive known for days they were coming so i've been doing a bit of it everyday but it isnt finished.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 03:03 PM   #126
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today could be better. I ate an omelette earlier and it made me sick so I regret that, and my nocturnal panic attacks came back recently so I haven't been sleeping too well. Really need to see a doctor about that.

I had an interview for target today but it was rescheduled for tomorrow so thankfully I can just take it easy today, but tomorrow I have two different interviews in a row so I'm pretty nervous about those.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 05:02 PM   #127
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you got this

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 07:17 PM   #128
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no you dont

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 07:24 PM   #129
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fuck you future boy I can't believe you're still at it


and thank you reprise I appreciate it

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 08:12 PM   #130
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i built a loudspeaker at work today. actually i just connected the amp and loudspeakers and tested everything and by god, it works. good thing because i spent around $1500 of my company's cash to buy the parts.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:48 PM   #131
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I got a part time gig at a clothing store recently - part time and seasonal. Gotta say, it's not terrible so far. Doing the fitting room and running clothes back to where they belong is pretty zen busywork for me.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 10:22 PM   #132
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H and m?

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 10:29 PM   #133
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5$ on urban.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:07 PM   #134
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i stayed home from work to clean up my pigsty of a house with the first season of 30 rock playing in the background. such a great day.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:14 PM   #135
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i can't fit this last piece of thawed betty crocker's strawberries and cream cake in. trying to decide if I should re-freeze it or just stuff it in. and feel sick for the rest of the day...

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:14 PM   #136
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too late. actually, it still tastes pretty good.

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:16 PM   #137
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I drank so much ducking tea and did like four art history homeworks and couldn't shut up in class
Better than yesterday when I had a breakdown and cried for like 3 hours and couldn't go to class at all

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:31 PM   #138
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it's turning into winter where you are, huh...and you're probably sleep deprived.

and hormonal.

i remember those breakdowns. now i just hold it all inside and cram some cake down over the top of it and then I never have to worry about being sad. but I had to cry and get drunk and stoned a lot, before I got married. nobody would have married me like this. euuuggggh

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:37 PM   #139
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slunken View Post
H and m?
Quote:
Originally Posted by The exploding boy View Post
5$ on urban.
Neither

 
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:44 PM   #140
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Had lots of election postmortems.

But then came home and the wife made a pecan pie so that made it great.

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 12:41 AM   #141
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Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
it's turning into winter where you are, huh...and you're probably sleep deprived.

and hormonal.

i remember those breakdowns. now i just hold it all inside and cram some cake down over the top of it and then I never have to worry about being sad. but I had to cry and get drunk and stoned a lot, before I got married. nobody would have married me like this. euuuggggh
I'm really trying not to get drunk or stoned, unfortunately food is sorta my thing too, either eating it or not eating it, but I'm worried that my history of (not really resolved) anorexia and bulimia has actually made me insulin resistant and that was one of the things upsetting me yesterday (I guess I have no shame to admit anything here anymore)

Do you get sad in winter? It is fall here but it's LA so it doesn't get that dark or cold. Cold at night though. I find the slight change in seasons refreshing but it might be fucking with my head too who knows

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:09 AM   #142
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started birth control for irregular periods tonight. made me nauseated and i vomited up salad.

my glasses fell of while i was puking and landed in my puke in the toilet

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:11 AM   #143
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my kitty has been really affectionate lately and it makes me smile night cuddles!

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:25 AM   #144
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Originally Posted by Charmbag View Post
I'm really trying not to get drunk or stoned, unfortunately food is sorta my thing too, either eating it or not eating it, but I'm worried that my history of (not really resolved) anorexia and bulimia has actually made me insulin resistant and that was one of the things upsetting me yesterday (I guess I have no shame to admit anything here anymore)

Do you get sad in winter? It is fall here but it's LA so it doesn't get that dark or cold. Cold at night though. I find the slight change in seasons refreshing but it might be fucking with my head too who knows
Sucks to be a disordered eater I hear you. Last time I lost weight, I lost 40kg in six months. I've gained it all back since starting therapy and medication. I just can't be normal about food. Or...anything, really.

Winter definitely brings on mood changes for me - usually depression. Sometimes mania. What will this summer bring? We shall see.

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:26 AM   #145
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Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
started birth control for irregular periods tonight. made me nauseated and i vomited up salad.

my glasses fell of while i was puking and landed in my puke in the toilet
I didn't know this kind of real life slapstick happened to other people!! Sorry to hear this.

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:29 AM   #146
reprise85
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thanks. vomiting doesn't really bother me that much for some reason. i always prefer to get it over with to stop feeling nauseated.

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:30 AM   #147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmbag View Post
I'm really trying not to get drunk or stoned, unfortunately food is sorta my thing too, either eating it or not eating it, but I'm worried that my history of (not really resolved) anorexia and bulimia has actually made me insulin resistant and that was one of the things upsetting me yesterday (I guess I have no shame to admit anything here anymore)

Do you get sad in winter? It is fall here but it's LA so it doesn't get that dark or cold. Cold at night though. I find the slight change in seasons refreshing but it might be fucking with my head too who knows
i feel you with the food issues. sorry to hear.

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:35 AM   #148
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now that i talk about cancer and my mortality is kicking in and my parents are turning 70 all i can think about is how fat i am and how much i eat and then i go out and eat like a fatty and be fat and i'm so fat why would anyone ever like a big fat guy also you're going to get nine kinds of cancer and you'll die full of regrets of a heart attack in the middle of a plate of enchiladas

also is wanting to be with someone you think is good looking basically objectification?

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:37 AM   #149
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I mean physical attraction is part of a relationship, it's not inherently objectifying

 
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Old 11-06-2014, 03:37 AM   #150
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i'm like super fat now i can't wear XL shirts this is horrible i blame quitting smoking maybe if i pick up smoking again i can lose weight

 
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