What constitutes cheating to you guys?

[yo soy el mejor]

Originally Posted by Disco King

I thought that growing crops for food counts as horticulture?

it is. the word is a general blanket term for gardening and the art of cultivation

fun fact: the city motto in chicago is Urbs in Horto, which means City in a garden

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Agriculture is more accurate because not all plant tending is the same. I guess it doesn't matter. I wasn't trying to start a fight about it. It's like saying "medicine" which could be so many different things.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

what about porn? Is there a line between watching some kind of sexual performance live and watching a recording?



I agree with this basically, but it's a stretch to make a claim about human nature. I think it is safe to say that monogamy is not the only way we are capable of having relationships. Personally I think a lot of people are acculturated to tow the monogamy line and see jealousy as a virtue, but would actually be happier if they tried something else. But it's the kind of thing that is so deeply ingrained in people, many just flip out when confronted by a non-monogamous viewpoint.

Also you used to give me hella shit about my open relationship

Yes there is a line (in my relationship). Everyone is different though like you said

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by Disco King

Oops, sorry RBG. I probably shouldn't have made such casual reference to your personal life for the sake of an example. I'm not condemning or passing judgement on you, for what it's worth.

I'm sympathetic to Rbg in this case but I will tell you, rbg, forthright that it's indeed emotional cheating. Her boyfriend would flip out, right? Then it's not a gray area. Since that's been established now it's time to find a solution.

[Bread Regal]

Originally Posted by scottytheoneand

human beings are not naturally monogamous. we evolved to be attracted to more than one person.

if your definition of monogamy is one that includes your thoughts - ie. thinking about someone else is cheating - you are living in a fantasy world. Nobody in a committed relationship doesn't at some point find themselves attracted to someone other than their partner. People are not capable of that type of monogamy. With that in mind I don't accept that "emotional" cheating is a real think. Perhaps it could be called deception. But it's not cheating on par with sexual activity.

Dan Savage to thread!

omg did you listen to the TED Radio Hour last week too??!

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

I'm sympathetic to Rbg in this case but I will tell you, rbg, forthright that it's indeed emotional cheating. Her boyfriend would flip out, right? Then it's not a gray area. Since that's been established now it's time to find a solution.

what should I do

[LaBelle]

A big broad romantic gesture like Heath Ledger singing in 10 Things I Hate About You.

[duovamp]

What a dreamboat.

[redbreegull]

I would like to sit down with her, put on the Twin Peaks theme music, and perform a monologue on cosmic destiny

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

what should I do

She needs to do something. You made your feelings known. I'm sorry I don't have anything else

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

what should I do

Ask her to make up her mind or at least give you a definitive answer, and accept whatever that answer is, tough as it may be.

Sorry man. I know this is torturous.

[FlamingGlobes]

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Rbg FV's advice is good but if you do that then you're going to have to follow through. If she says him but still talks to you then it's the same situation as before.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Fg sorry my nails are getting in the way of typing properly

[FlamingGlobes]

I, for one, am deeply offended by your typing skillz.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Me too. It's bad. Tap tap tap

[FlamingGlobes]

Here rbg, you're gonna need this

[ohnoitsbonnie]

One time at the grocery store the cashier was staring at me typing. I use my left pointer and right thumb (phone cradled in right hand) to type on my phone. She told me that she's never seen anyone type like that

[FlamingGlobes]

Oh man, I type like shit. I'm fast, but I have a really shitty method. I've had customers sitting with me point it out.

"You're really fast for someone who types wrong!" something to that effect.

[FlamingGlobes]

I've been trying to get back to proper typing skillz but it's hard.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

What do you do? Why write the comment without telling us???

[FlamingGlobes]

But let's help rbg with his problem first. We can tuck our problems into the background for now.

[FlamingGlobes]

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

What do you do? Why write the comment without telling us???

Pretty much hands over the keyboard, but only using my two index fingers. I'm primitive yet proficient.

[LaBelle]

I'm not a fan of ultimatums, usually it makes me feel cornered and i'll give the quickest answer which is also most usually the easiest one (y'know, the option that leaves things as is).
Of course everyone is different and who knows it might work for some people, he knows her we don't so maybe he will have a better idea how she'll respond to it.

But it's definitely something worth thinking about.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes

Pretty much hands over the keyboard, but only using my two index fingers. I'm primitive yet proficient.

You're my mom

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

You're my mom

YOU'RE MY MOM!!

*runs away crying*

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by LaBelle

I'm not a fan of ultimatums, usually it makes me feel cornered and i'll give the quickest answer which is also most usually the easiest one (y'know, the option that leaves things as is).
Of course everyone is different and who knows it might work for some people, he knows her we don't so maybe he will have a better idea how she'll respond to it.

But it's definitely something worth thinking about.

I can definitely understand that, but given the history, I think it's appropriate in this scenario.

[FlamingGlobes]

I typed that proper and it took me longer than I care to admit.

[FlamingGlobes]

Also this