hypothetical Q: what is the biggest animal you could take on with your bare hands

[???]

or rather, without conventional weapons? the tiger attack thread got me thinking. i mean, you could just be sitting in starbucks, minding your own business, when BAM, you've got a fucking siberian tiger up in your shit. this is serious people. i think, technically, a tiger/lion/bear would be an appropriate adversary in an arena/cage match situation, so long as you are able to roll to one side faster than the beast can pounce on you, then leap on its back and punch it in the back of the head or die trying. what do you think.

[Rockin' Cherub]

a particularly weak ant

[tcm]

a beached blue whale

[???]

yes, we all know the smartass answer, ted...do try again, though

[tcm]

i don't understand. are two and two ever not four?

[tcm]

is the capital of Malaysia ever not Kuala Lumpur?

[???]

well that is of course the biggest known animal one could indeed take down, but it doesn't really count here as it wouldn't be much of a challenge, would it. we're discussing beasts here that are not only big, but aggressive, dangerous and formidable opponents. none are invincible however, and it is well worth getting in touch with one's inner tarzan for a moment should like unlikely situation of having to battle one ever transpire.

[MeAndMyLlama]

well if i am sitting in starbucks while this mike pskowski/siberian tiger interaction takes place could i not use weapons found in starbucks? like swing a stool at it or throw a pot of hot coffee in it's face?

[???]

hypothetically, i suppose one could take down a large dinosaur, perhaps a t-rex, with merely a good trip-wire. king kong, just tickle his feet and he'd fall off the empire state pretty fast i'd reckon. cloverfield monster still pending until we know what it is

[???]

Originally Posted by MeAndMyLlama

well if i am sitting in starbucks while this mike pskowski/siberian tiger interaction takes place could i not use weapons found in starbucks? like swing a stool at it or throw a pot of hot coffee in it's face?

absolutely. like i said, take down without using conventional weapons. so any props found in the arena of conflict are totally acceptable.

[???]

unless of course the arena would realistically be filled with conventional weapons, i suppose, in which case, fire away

[tcm]

ok, i guess probably a sheep.

[???]

sensible choice there, tcm.

i've been musing on crocs: probably tougher to defeat than a lion or tiger. they thrash around more when provoked and their armor is very tough and you certainly couldn't break their neck. wont have much luck poking its eyes out either unless you have a stick.

[???]

hm, i think an elephant would in fact be the largest, other than a beached whale. elephants are relatively docile and if you can manage to straddle one without getting stomped on or attacked by the rest of the herd, you probably have a good chance. try stuffing its trunk up its bottom perhaps.

[silent_brian13]

a goat.

on an unrelated note, hippos are one of the most dangerous and aggressive animals in the world.

[???]

ooh!

[Nimrod's Son]

a clown

[Mr. Mister]

Chyna.

[Netphorian Gadabout]

Originally Posted by ???

we're discussing beasts here that are not only big, but aggressive, dangerous and formidable opponents.

Oh, well then, I'm going to say your mother.

[waltermcphilp]

a snake of the trouser variety.

[monkeyfritters]

even a small animal like aids could kick you guyses ass.

[smashingjj]

a modest mouse.

[Mablak]

Originally Posted by tcm

a beached blue whale

If you had an oxygen supply it wouldn't be hard to kill a blue whale in the water. You just have to get swallowed and destroy it from the inside out.