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Old 11-22-2017, 09:58 PM   #1
redbreegull
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Default thread for radical vulnerability

ITT tell about things you normally would not share with others and feel good about it

E.g.: my arms were really full when I was just leaving the other room so I used my nostril to turn off the light switch

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:14 PM   #2
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somehow a can of worms is going to get opened in this thread, i know it

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:48 PM   #3
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I have shapely legs. Long, lean, and surprisingly muscular. Sometimes I squeeze them in admiration.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:49 PM   #4
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Perambulatory Lyfe

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:50 PM   #5
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At first, I thought this thread was about racial vulnerability and would allow me to complain of sunburns and arguing on Facebook.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:55 PM   #6
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I just wanted to talk about my legs. They are very powerful. I could emasculate fuzzy with a single, far-reaching kick.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:59 PM   #7
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radical vulnerability for y'all is lame-boy chest-thumping

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 12:00 AM   #8
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i used a compass to find my way home from work walking /radical vulnerability and then i admired the shape of my eyebrows for at least ten minutes and everyone was looking at me /radical vulnerability

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 12:04 AM   #9
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happy thanksgiving

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 12:05 AM   #10
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I was joking.

I swear.

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 12:05 AM   #11
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Damn and I was about to post pics! Thanks for killing the mood y s e m.

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 06:27 PM   #12
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I couldn't see to shave when I was pregnant starting at about 28 weeks so I just kinda did it blindly and when I had to be shaved for my c-section the nurse was like "it looks like somebody already tried to" TRIED TO! WOW THANKS. I can see again though and I'm quite happy to be smooth. That was not fun.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 02:36 AM   #13
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Two years ago, Italian neurosurgeon Sergio Canavero announced he would be performing the world's first human head transplant in December 2017. As that date approaches, two experts weigh in on the wider ethics of the operation: Why China? Why now?

Whether or not we believe head transplants will “work” or whether or not we want them to happen, the fact is the technology to perform them is being developed in China right now.



Okay.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 12:08 PM   #14
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I remember reading about that. Basically, if I remember correctly, the consensus is it will not work and it is a far-fetched dream and it is unfair for Canavero to be offering the patient hope that it will work.

But hey, we need to start somewhere. I could sure use a new body.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 12:25 PM   #15
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I could use a new head.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 01:16 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
I remember reading about that. Basically, if I remember correctly, the consensus is it will not work and it is a far-fetched dream and it is unfair for Canavero to be offering the patient hope that it will work.
Seems easy enough to me. All you need is some neck-pan juice to keep the head alive.


Would the correct term be "head transplant," or "body transplant?" I'm guessing the patient likes their head just fine and wants a new body, rather than wanting to outfit their body with a new head. When somebody gets a new kidney, we don't call it a "entire-body-but-the-kidney transplant."

Personally, I'd like a new head and a new body.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 01:17 PM   #17
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I'm kinda cheating the system by being an organ donor. That way, when I die, I can get a new body and a new head, maybe just keeping my liver or something.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 02:35 PM   #18
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That's brilliant. I wouldn't mind transplanting my hair to Whatcolor's body. Then I would be unstoppable.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 03:59 PM   #19
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Michelangelo is a party dude but he does have a soft sweet side to him, it's true.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 07:26 PM   #20
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Michelangelo is a party dude

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 08:18 PM   #21
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I am finding duloxetine withdrawls so hard

Yesterday I thought a lot about suicide . It's been a long time since I've thought about that. It's so horrible to be back in a state of mind where I basically can't handle life, and I hate life and myself so much all I can think about is cutting my flesh or jumping to my death.

I thought about the smell of my dead body in the Singapore heat and humidity and how my kids might remember that forever, and just cried a lot instead.

I have a permanent migraine and my skin is crawling and I can't get comfortable enough to sleep, but the brain zaps are becoming less frequent.

I nearly gave up last night. But I just want to get off this shit and never take it again. Seriously the most evil drug I've ever taken.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 08:22 PM   #22
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somehow a can of worms is going to get opened in this thread, i know it

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 08:32 PM   #23
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Hang in there vixnix. You are a tough person. It will pass.

How long have you been off it? How long will the withdrawals last? Does your doctor know?


 
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Old 11-24-2017, 09:01 PM   #24
reprise85
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Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
I am finding duloxetine withdrawls so hard

Yesterday I thought a lot about suicide . It's been a long time since I've thought about that. It's so horrible to be back in a state of mind where I basically can't handle life, and I hate life and myself so much all I can think about is cutting my flesh or jumping to my death.

I thought about the smell of my dead body in the Singapore heat and humidity and how my kids might remember that forever, and just cried a lot instead.

I have a permanent migraine and my skin is crawling and I can't get comfortable enough to sleep, but the brain zaps are becoming less frequent.

I nearly gave up last night. But I just want to get off this shit and never take it again. Seriously the most evil drug I've ever taken.
I would surely kill myself without it. Why do you say it's evil? If in theory lamotrigine should cover you but it's not, is it possible going back on Cymbalta or even just an SSRI would make sense? Or at least tapering? I get periods of suicidal ideation now so I get how terrible it feels when you haven't had it for a while and it comes back.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 09:12 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
I am finding duloxetine withdrawls so hard

Yesterday I thought a lot about suicide . It's been a long time since I've thought about that. It's so horrible to be back in a state of mind where I basically can't handle life, and I hate life and myself so much all I can think about is cutting my flesh or jumping to my death.

I thought about the smell of my dead body in the Singapore heat and humidity and how my kids might remember that forever, and just cried a lot instead.

I have a permanent migraine and my skin is crawling and I can't get comfortable enough to sleep, but the brain zaps are becoming less frequent.

I nearly gave up last night. But I just want to get off this shit and never take it again. Seriously the most evil drug I've ever taken.
that sounds really terrible vix, i'm sorry :/

you may have already posted it and i missed it, but why are you coming off meds?

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 09:12 PM   #26
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Post updates please

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 09:23 PM   #27
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Old 11-24-2017, 10:31 PM   #28
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Thanks guys. It actually means a lot to have a place like this ~radical vulnerability~ thread to get this stuff off my chest.

I'm not discontinuing all my meds - just duloxetine. I was switched from lamotrigine and escitalopram by a previous psychiatrist, because I gained weight on escitalopram and he was not familiar with lamotrigine as a mood stabiliser, and from my history and his assessment my main issue was that I was in a bad situation, so we were medicating to help me manage in a bad situation, rather than to manage a disorder that I had.

I was in a bad situation. That wore me down a lot. But over the course of a year, taking just the duloxetine, I gained even more weight and became more and more depressed until I quit my job and could barely get out of bed to take the kids to school. I would manage to do that, and then come home and sleep, and there were a few times when I slept through my alarm in the afternoon and was late to pick them up . It was awful.

So I went to a new family doctor, and she had a suggestion for a new psychiatrist, who was alarmed by the previous psychiatrist's diagnosis given my history put me straight back on lamotrigine and scaled down my duloxetine first from 120mg to 60mg, and then to 30mg, with the aim to get me off it completely.

It was HELL stepping down the duloxetine. But I was already in such a bad place that it was just adding migraines and insomnia and brain zaps to what my life was reduced to already. It's much worse this time because I've been stable on lamotrigine and duloxetine. But my psychiatrist here in Singapore and my new psychiatrist in Sydney recommend that I come off duloxetine to see if I can be stable just on lamotrigine, because the less medication you can take, the better. I've just been putting it off because reducing it was so bad, I didn't want to go back there.

So I say it's evil because because I can't stop taking it. I don't know if I'll push through this or not. I'm going to give it another week. But I'm not capable of anything at the moment Like, we're not schooling because the littlest things set me off - it could be brain zaps and a sudden onset of a migraine, where I end up either vomiting or lying down wherever I am (living room, study, bedroom) and falling asleep in a few seconds and then waking up an hour later feeling distressed and in pain. Or else I seethe with rage and feel like screaming. It just fucking sucks. I mean how much longer do I neglect my children and let them watch tv all day while I'm sleeping and vomiting and crying, before I just give up and go back on it.

The worst thing is knowing that a lot of people come off it and never experience anything nearly this bad. It makes me feel even more desperate, like maybe everything is just in my head, maybe I'm just a pathetic failure, maybe I'm just thinking the wrong thoughts or thinking wrong and that's why I feel dizzy, because I'm 'thinking' wrong. I get stressed out thinking about that, and then feel dizzy and get brain zaps and have to lie down or vomit. Last night I went into the maid's room and just looked out the window at the city and thought of just jumping into it and having everything just go away. Honestly if I didn't have children I think I would just give up at this point. But I do have them, so I've got to find a way to stop feeling like this. That's why I've put off discontinuing,because I don't want to feel this way around my children.

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 11:07 PM   #29
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I am so sorry Vixnix. My foolish fuckups sound so petty compared to what you are going through.

But it's not you nor is it in your head. I read somewhere that 45% of people who quit have your symptoms. It isn't your fault you feel that way it is the drug.

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 12:25 AM   #30
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No way, man. My shit is nothing, it just feels like a lot. Kids being home all the time puts a lot of pressure on me, too. I crave solitude and quiet.

Your shit is like Hollywood movie big. I have nothing to complain about except this fucken withdrawl bullshit.

Thanks for listening, man.

 
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