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Old 11-22-2017, 09:09 PM   #211
qwerty sp
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Originally Posted by FoolofaTook View Post
So I went to Safeway for milk and cereal. Got to the entrance and freaked out. Couldn't go in. Walked instead to Harvest Foods about a mile and a half in the other direction. Get there shop get into the cashier aisle and STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME IS ONE OF THE HEAD SAFEWAY CASHIERS!!!

She recognized me, of course. Goddamn I can't escape the Doom of Mitchell no matter where I go. I'm fucking fated to darkness like Turin Turambar.

This is highly amusing

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 09:58 PM   #212
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No buzzard ia right. i shouldn't be broadcasting personal information and then getting butthurt when a drunk and an enemy use it against me.

sorry for lashing out at you buzzard.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:03 PM   #213
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My neighbor (the one who shamed me by sitting on a bench and staribng at me while I was working at the fair in 110 degree weather) took (NEVERMORE!) my window screen off and put some sort of goo on the glass. I removed it and put it on her door hamdle. lol she just came home five seconds ago and i heard some sort of loud reaction.

WARTOOK!!!! (Hehe).

I really hope it wasn't some other neighbor that did it.

Last edited by FoolofaTook : 11-22-2017 at 10:09 PM.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:03 PM   #214
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This is highly amusing
It is also, quite literally, ironic!

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:08 PM   #215
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Get this: when the apartment heats up the toilet, bowl and tank, produces so much condensation that it flows down and pools on the floor. At first I had no idea what was going on. I thought there was a leak or maybe I was missing my mark but when I got down there to wipe it up I noticed how wet with condensation the whole thing was.

This shit is blowing my mind.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:31 PM   #216
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sorry for lashing out at you buzzard.
[insert joke about typically having to pay for lashings here]

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:58 PM   #217
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Heh.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:30 PM   #218
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Yeesh I am startes to have serious doubts whether putting that glob on her doorhandle was the best idea. I mean it could have been there since who knows and screen might have been flipped by someone else... great. probably pissed my neighbors off for no reason.

LOL WTF

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:51 PM   #219
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It's been pretty windy out lately in the area hasn't it? You sure the wind didn't just blow it out?

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 08:44 AM   #220
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Damn she must be furious. Hehe. I think I jumped to a conclusion.

Oh well I will just deny everything. Should be an interesting four months.

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 05:34 PM   #221
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how the hell did you figure it was her?

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 06:04 PM   #222
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Yeah that was a mistake. Her husband is very muscular and scary.

I have no idea why I assumed it was her. Probably because she lives next door. Even crazier is that I thought that someone did it when now I am certain it was there since march probably the previous tenant had a picture or something and that glued it to the glass.

About a month ago I got convinced that Stephen (the maggot downstairs) turned my heating off to fuck with me. enraged I called my landlord up at 9 pm.

i am having some issues heh.

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 06:22 PM   #223
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deep breaths, buddy

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 08:30 PM   #224
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I am not in labor.

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 11:15 PM   #225
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then why so hormonally unstable?

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 11:19 PM   #226
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Over excited by the prospect of meeting you in the flesh.


 
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Old 11-23-2017, 11:22 PM   #227
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"I don't suffer from insanity but enjoy every minute of it!" ... Edgar Allan Poe.

 
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Old 11-23-2017, 11:31 PM   #228
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*bows* okay you win

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 11:17 PM   #229
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TWO TRIPS TO HARVEST FOODS AND I'VE MADE A TOTAL FOOL OF MYSELF. AGAIN.

Walk in and there's this cute cashier. she smiles and says good evening.

For some unknownn goddamn reason I give this uber arrogant smile and toss my hair around (lol) CRITICAL ERROR. When I came back to her aisle she was extremely displeased. total cold shoulder treatment. i slunk out of there like a beaten cur. now she will probably inform her fellow cashiers what a dumbass i am. and as this all sunk in i realized all that shit at safeway wasn't mitchell's fault, it's mine. and it doesn't matter what supermarket i go to i will still find a way to act like a total dweeb.

What are my options? Online shopping? Shaving my head? Castration?

 
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Old 11-24-2017, 11:58 PM   #230
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Have you considered a life of celibacy?

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 12:18 AM   #231
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I am celibate, motherfucker.






















 
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Old 11-25-2017, 12:20 AM   #232
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Whatever. The lady at the DSHS office wants me badly (couldn't stop smiling asked me about my accent my height etc) so that makes up for it.
And there's the girl at the library front desk who told me I have beautiful hair. All is not lost!

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 12:21 AM   #233
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Just have to watch out for supermarkets apparently.

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 01:00 AM   #234
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I am celibate, motherfucker.





















I meant by choice...

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 01:15 AM   #235
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I had a long walk from the car to my front door because some dick parked all crooked across two spaces right in front of my place. I had to set a case of beer down outside my door for 10 seconds to get the rest of the shit inside. I come back, literally a few seconds later, and my neighbor across the hall is attempting to steal the beer. I'm so done with the entire world rn I couldn't even make myself genuinely upset. I was just like.... "are you fucking kidding me right now"

drunk asshole puts it all down and keeps one beer in his hand, asking me if he can have it. I slammed the door in his face. I hope he enjoys his one miller lite.

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 01:18 AM   #236
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oh THEN five minutes later and again 15 minutes after that he came to my door and knocked. I ignored it. I wish I could believe we live in a world where he was going to apologize, but I am 260% certain he was going to ask me for more beer after literally just trying to steal my entire case of beer.

god fuck people I wish everyone would die

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 02:29 AM   #237
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Just have to watch out for supermarkets apparently.
Yes, your powers are completely nullified when you enter the domain of a supermarket.

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 02:32 AM   #238
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Beware of cashiers, both winged and non-winged!

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 01:01 PM   #239
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Hehe.

RBG that dude is a worse tool than me. Fuck him.

 
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Old 11-25-2017, 01:03 PM   #240
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I have concluded that is all my hair's fault. I am still adjusting to my new-found hirsute glory.

On a more srs note: where the fuck do I go to buy milk?

 
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