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Old 11-22-2017, 09:39 AM   #181
FoolofaTook
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I wish. I am supposed to find a job remember?

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 09:49 AM   #182
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And honestly I have not really enjoyed smoking weed the last dozen or so times I have. My tolerance is so low I get super high from a measly hit and then I start freaking out about all the mistakes I have made in the recent past. It's bad.

Drinking and smoking is really bad for my pereodontitis too. My gums are aching and yesterday they bled a little when I flossed. I think it's going to be a sober winter followed by a sober year. god fuck.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 02:04 PM   #183
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I remember weed being like that, before I quit. I would feel terrible every time, just so paranoid and consumed by guilt and grief. I'd end up asking myself why I was doing this to myself.

I gave up for close to a year and then only smoked every few months, when I would go on massive benders. They were pretty good.

I think it was just the end of it truly being a habit, that it started being really horrible.

We went to buy from a guy with a walled off grow room at his place, I mean the place fucking reeked, there was no point walling this room off. It was down the road from the prison had he wasn't long out of it. That was the last time before I quit. I was just like...this paranoia is just not fucking worth it.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 02:09 PM   #184
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the vixnix crush song


 
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Old 11-22-2017, 02:36 PM   #185
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It has been three weeks since I last smoke and I just coughed up a handful of black phlegm.

The place in my throat where the tonsil with the grey spot used to be is permanently swollen. I would switch to edibles if I could afford it and if I didn't have to be clean to find work.

When I get high I think of what they did to me at Goodwill or the fool I made of myself in Safeway (lol) or my brother and it sucks. After 20 minutes I come down and laugh it off and enjoy it a bit. But then my gums and throat start aching... this sucks. I have to quit for a long time.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 03:24 PM   #186
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oh and here's my girl bullshit:

I don’t think I’m going to ever, ever get over this crush I have.

First of all, she’s the most lovely person I’ve ever met.

Second, after that whole ‘getting arrested’ bullshit, working with her in school was the only part of that semester that wasn’t absolute shit. I mean, there is (hopefully) literally no way for a situation like that to happen again.

Third, because of those first two points, I was actually motivated to tell her how I feel. I’ve never done that before, or liked a girl that much before, because I’m a stupid loser.

Fourth, she has a basically guaranteed job in a field I really want to go into, but can’t because my major is in some stupid bullshit I hate

yeah
I hate to do the whole "you'll get over it, kid" bit, because even though it's true, it doesn't feel true for you yet, and no amount of people telling you that will make it feel true. Only time and experience will. At this point, me telling you that probably only feels dismissive.

I think I need to work on not making my happiness dependent on other people, and maybe we have that in common. You mention seeing her being the one light in an otherwise bleak period of your life. Maybe you need more lights? Engaging in things you're passionate about?

I'm probably giving shitty advice. I mean, if somebody told me to start putting more time into my passions, I'd probably be like, "Ha, not likely. No time and energy between my responsibilities and being so exhausted from my responsibilities that I can't do anything I actually care about."

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your lack of success seems a bit weird to me, considering you seem to be very considerate and doing, at least what i think (not that i know anything), are the right things
I guess I don't really think of it as doing the "right" things, because there's just no secret cheat code that's going to get any particular person to like you with one weird trick. All you can really do is not do the wrong things. Like, don't be an asshole or anything. That's not a guarantee of being successful, it's just the basic prerequisite.

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All jokes aside, it's great to see what seems to be a flourishing sense of self-belief in Sisq King as he navigates the hit-and-miss world of interacting with human beings.
Haha, not so fast! My self-esteem is yet still crippled by my constant and inevitable failures!

I dunno, the thing about being "behind" when it comes to stuff like this is that it's self-perpetuating. People just aren't attracted to inexperience. When everybody in your age group has more experience than you, it gets really alienating. They seem to sense the awkwardness and social incompetence. I've been trying to fake it until I make it, but it's hard to keep up.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 03:29 PM   #187
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And honestly I have not really enjoyed smoking weed the last dozen or so times I have. My tolerance is so low I get super high from a measly hit and then I start freaking out about all the mistakes I have made in the recent past. It's bad.
from one Duke of Dank to another: if it's making you super anxious, lay off for awhile. Obviously as you know your experience with many drugs has a lot to do with what you take into it, especially hallucinogens of which marijuana is one. And if you are already feeling anxious and whatnot, low tolerance will make it worse. I've experienced the same at times. I've also seen people start to feel anxious and get the mind racing regretathon every time they smoke, but they are too dependent to stop smoking, and then develop a permanent association between getting high and feeling anxious

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 04:19 PM   #188
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thanks so much guys

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May this mean there is hope yet for our lovelorn percussionist.
i think i'll start a band called lovelorn percussionist

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it is odd that you are presumably my age Ram but alas young lad I too once felt that I was never ever, ever getting over this crush my 20 page declaration now lost with the Oboard of lore

in retrospect the glorification of a relatively average woman had much more to do with the unfulfilling life I was leading than with her being the actual center of the Universe

she won't be the last, mate
i know you're totally right. thanks. why do our brains have to do this

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I hate to do the whole "you'll get over it, kid" bit, because even though it's true, it doesn't feel true for you yet, and no amount of people telling you that will make it feel true. Only time and experience will. At this point, me telling you that probably only feels dismissive.

I think I need to work on not making my happiness dependent on other people, and maybe we have that in common. You mention seeing her being the one light in an otherwise bleak period of your life. Maybe you need more lights? Engaging in things you're passionate about?

I'm probably giving shitty advice. I mean, if somebody told me to start putting more time into my passions, I'd probably be like, "Ha, not likely. No time and energy between my responsibilities and being so exhausted from my responsibilities that I can't do anything I actually care about."
I really appreciate it; I know everyone's right when they say I'll get over her. But yeah, it doesn't feel right inside

Well, during the dark times, it was her, this broadcasting class, and baseball. And those were all tied together, somehow deifying her more. And the dark times started because I was trying to engage in something I was very passionate about, drumming, but then couldn't anymore...which is why it hurt so much and those three things helped so much.

For some reason I've never entirely had issues with finding hobbies. Like after the whole police bullshit and I couldn't drum anymore, I started focusing on guitar more. I'm never too tired to do something I like

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 05:07 PM   #189
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How come you can't drum anymore?

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 05:50 PM   #190
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For some reason I've never entirely had issues with finding hobbies. Like after the whole police bullshit and I couldn't drum anymore, I started focusing on guitar more. I'm never too tired to do something I like
ain't no bluebird ever got too heavy to sing

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 05:53 PM   #191
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Though we didn't seem to have a lot of taste in media in common (she likes Eminem and some country songs; seems to be the kind of person who doesn't know a lot of music, and knows radio songs rather than following artists; her favourite movie is The Notebook)
I totally dated this girl in 2004.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 05:54 PM   #192
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And honestly I have not really enjoyed smoking weed the last dozen or so times I have. My tolerance is so low I get super high from a measly hit and then I start freaking out about all the mistakes I have made in the recent past. It's bad.

Drinking and smoking is really bad for my pereodontitis too. My gums are aching and yesterday they bled a little when I flossed. I think it's going to be a sober winter followed by a sober year. god fuck.
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Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
I remember weed being like that, before I quit. I would feel terrible every time, just so paranoid and consumed by guilt and grief. I'd end up asking myself why I was doing this to myself.

I gave up for close to a year and then only smoked every few months, when I would go on massive benders. They were pretty good.

I think it was just the end of it truly being a habit, that it started being really horrible.

We went to buy from a guy with a walled off grow room at his place, I mean the place fucking reeked, there was no point walling this room off. It was down the road from the prison had he wasn't long out of it. That was the last time before I quit. I was just like...this paranoia is just not fucking worth it.

This (+ accelerated heart-rate and borderline panic attacks nearly every time I smoked) is why I stopped. I quit in 2009 and never looked back. Not a day goes by that I miss it. I had my fun with it, and when the fun ended, I put it away.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 06:33 PM   #193
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A lot of people reach that thing where weed starts to suck. Basically after a break it seems to happen a lot of times. Took just took a month break, right? Not surprised.

It's ok man. Weed might be good again someday but smoking it all day every day is not good for yas. I did it too. I hope one day I can smoke small amounts a few times a year or something but until then, just like FlamingGlobes, I had my fun

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 07:04 PM   #194
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Thing is, I haven't had even the slightest hankering throughout the past 8+ years. And I smoked just about every day between 2001 and 2009.

Weed feels to me like one of those things you do in your 20s and then you move on. Plus, to me, there's nothing more annoying than weed culture.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 07:05 PM   #195
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I mean, shit, I don't think I could even weed today if I tried. Vaping? The fuck outta here!

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 08:35 PM   #196
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Yeah I think it helps to be in a living or social situation where you know people who have continued blazing 4 lyfe beyond their early 30s. I found it to be almost never encouraging.

It's one thing to hear a dumb young person talking about what is tr00ly wrong with the world and what needs to happen, but someone in their forties talking about that stuff and forgetting what they were saying, mid-sentence, is sort of sad.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 09:13 PM   #197
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that's total bitter old person nonsense. lots of old people smoke weed and do just fine

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 09:55 PM   #198
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man ppl sure are using the friday sad drug thread to shame weed smoking

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:06 PM   #199
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i mean i totally get the point everyone here is making, and am aware that weed is not always a good thing. and if you're getting anxious from smoking it obviously you should put it away (i did for an entire year last year). but all that "it's a 20's thing"... i mean, really?

watching any person in a state of inebriation is never impressive (re: vix's post) but weed is such a calm drug that just helps you reflect and experience or appreciate things more profoundly sometimes. i dunno now it feels to me like any justification i'll try to throw at this subject is just my inner stoner rationalizing furiously, but i'd like to believe it's not like that.

like, this strikes on a nerve because i always had this perpetual inner clashing between loving weed and feeling like i shouldn't be doing it, or that it's counterproductive to "real life". so i'm certainly not one of those wake and bake guys and never have been, but i'm three years into my thirties and i still like it. should i be feeling like this is something i'll have to drop soon to not be pathetic? i'm asking sincerely

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:12 PM   #200
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i think the biggest problem with weed for me is, it kinda makes me withdraw from the outside world and wall up in myself mentally. it's not that i sit in my house and smoke all day, and it doesn't make me asocial, but it does make me prone to socialize less, or at least not try as hard, and have a sense of comfort that's both warm and dangerous. life is hard to deal with, man. :/

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:17 PM   #201
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I understand what the haters are saying but I am a stoner forevermore. I just need to take a long break for my health and because of my current state of depression/anxiety.

Someday the Sinsemillian shall arise but hopefully just in edibles and vapor. Smoking is too harmful, especially after what I have done: two years pop can pipes two years knife hits two years pipes and bong and cigs two years blunts and cigs one year pipe and cigs. in all these years the goal was every day all day. add that shit up. no wonder i am falling apart.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:48 PM   #202
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Have you seen any sort of doctor about the swelling and phlegm thing?

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:52 PM   #203
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Yeah. I had my tonsils removed. The swelling isn't that bad, not visible.

I have regular deep cleanings with my dentist. And I have been cleaning and flossing regularly since they told me how serious it was. I'll be ok; I was being a little histrionic.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:03 PM   #204
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Wasn't flossing removed from dental health guidelines, a while back?

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:19 PM   #205
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I remember weed being like that, before I quit. I would feel terrible every time, just so paranoid and consumed by guilt and grief. I'd end up asking myself why I was doing this to myself.

I gave up for close to a year and then only smoked every few months, when I would go on massive benders. They were pretty good.

I think it was just the end of it truly being a habit, that it started being really horrible.

We went to buy from a guy with a walled off grow room at his place, I mean the place fucking reeked, there was no point walling this room off. It was down the road from the prison had he wasn't long out of it. That was the last time before I quit. I was just like...this paranoia is just not fucking worth it.
Sounds like what happened with me. I used to smoke it all of the time for years and loved it and then eventually I just started feeling super paranoid and panicked and my mind would race. I stuck at it for like another year, hoping it would go back to how it used to be and it just never did. I was bummed out initially, but now that I quit, I literally don't miss it in the slightest.

Now I'll only smoke a little bit from time to time if I'm drunk because the booze takes the edge off.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:21 PM   #206
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like, this strikes on a nerve because i always had this perpetual inner clashing between loving weed and feeling like i shouldn't be doing it, or that it's counterproductive to "real life". so i'm certainly not one of those wake and bake guys and never have been, but i'm three years into my thirties and i still like it. should i be feeling like this is something i'll have to drop soon to not be pathetic? i'm asking sincerely
nah man, I think weed use is fine, just not wake and bake all day every day type smoking.

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:22 PM   #207
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Wasn't flossing removed from dental health guidelines, a while back?
pretty sure that was one short term study

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:26 PM   #208
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nah man, I think weed use is fine, just not wake and bake all day every day type smoking.
There are other ways of smoking?!

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:27 PM   #209
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ikr, that was what I did too

 
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:30 PM   #210
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I don't like weed or cigarettes, but I'd never judge people who do them. We all escape in different ways

 
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