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Old 12-13-2017, 04:45 AM   #4861
vixnix
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I'm not against women choosing to do what they want to do, if their situation allows for it. I'm sorry yours apparently didn't. Every second I spend with my kid is exactly what I want to be doing, however. She literally saved me. I didn't even think I could have kids or know I was having one until 3 months before she was born. Staying home looking after a baby full time is a (tiring) dream come true for me. I just hope I don't somehow screw her up. I've wanted to be a mom since I was a small child myself though and don't have any actual business interests. That's probably not a good example for her, considering certain details about her father. But I'll show her all the love and kindness I can and hope that she's a more actualized person than I am. More time sober might help me rediscover myself, too. I refuse to put any pressure on her and am very grateful I'm in a safe place now where we can thrive. I couldn't imagine handing her over to anyone for the day, not yet. I don't know, I'm sure as time goes on and she can meet her own basic needs (eating, getting to sleep by herself, basic hygiene) I'll be less consumed with knowing I'm the only one who can keep her alive and well and then I'll see if I'm a capable human being outside of motherhood. It's very, VERY complicated and netphoria's boys club probably doesn't get it or is sick of hearing it. No matter how aligned with women they are, they aren't and can never be moms. It's just different. Or maybe I'm just bitter because the men I know with children can just easily continue their lifestyle with minimal changes.
I wanted to be a mother, I just didn't realise that motherhood was a full time job, unless I recruited other people to do it for me, while I was doing something else. It took me a while to make peace with that.

Obviously, many men never face that dilemma. Society supports the idea that full time fatherhood incorporates being away from their children for extended periods of time while they engage in paid work out of the home, as a natural and positive thing.

And it probably is a good thing because

MEN ARE TRASH!!!!! KEEP CHILDREN AWAY FROM TRASH!!!!

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 04:51 AM   #4862
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I had choices, but only crappy pseudo choices. Like, breastfeeding on the whole was easy for me (apart from a 2cm tear in my nipple, in the beginning...but that did heal) and my children grew and were healthy, and it was "best" so that made it hard to try formula feeding, which would have given me a bit more freedom, if I had wanted it. I went to the supermarket and stared at those tins of formula countless times, reading and re-reading the ingredients and weighing up whether "best" feeding and "second-best" feeding were separated by very much at all.

But in the end, because I was physically able to do the "best" thing, and because of course when it comes to your kid, you want to do your "best", we were tethered to each other basically until he weaned....at 2.5

at which stage I was pregnant with his brother

Is breastfeeding even best? Nobody even knows. There are so many variables. It was just the indoctrination they pedalled at the time and I just fell for it, because I was 25 and in shock, and mentally ill, and trying to care for my newborn

damn health authorities

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 11:37 AM   #4863
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i don't breastfeed because i'm on medication and my milk never came in anyway. best feeding is eating, imo

can't wait til the spit up stops, though

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 12:06 PM   #4864
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i read that as "breast feeding is eating" and was like i dunno how we got here but hell yea

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 12:15 PM   #4865
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Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
I had choices, but only crappy pseudo choices. Like, breastfeeding on the whole was easy for me (apart from a 2cm tear in my nipple, in the beginning...but that did heal) and my children grew and were healthy, and it was "best" so that made it hard to try formula feeding, which would have given me a bit more freedom, if I had wanted it. I went to the supermarket and stared at those tins of formula countless times, reading and re-reading the ingredients and weighing up whether "best" feeding and "second-best" feeding were separated by very much at all.

But in the end, because I was physically able to do the "best" thing, and because of course when it comes to your kid, you want to do your "best", we were tethered to each other basically until he weaned....at 2.5

at which stage I was pregnant with his brother

Is breastfeeding even best? Nobody even knows. There are so many variables. It was just the indoctrination they pedalled at the time and I just fell for it, because I was 25 and in shock, and mentally ill, and trying to care for my newborn

damn health authorities
I read a study about how longer breastfeeding results in a higher IQ for the child.

But that's pretty much all I know about it. I'll link you to some stuff if you wish.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 12:24 PM   #4866
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i read that as "breast feeding is eating" and was like i dunno how we got here but hell yea
Ever read Idylle by Maupassant?

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 04:04 PM   #4867
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I read a study about how longer breastfeeding results in a higher IQ for the child.

But that's pretty much all I know about it. I'll link you to some stuff if you wish.
all my doctors encouraged it too but my daughter weighed barely over five pounds when she was born and i wanted to see how much food she was getting. and i'm pretty sure she only got like a couple drops when i breastfed her versus several ounces of formula. sure it isn't as natural but it's still necessary nutrition and i can't beat myself up over it. my milk never really came in anyway, like i said. plus pumping is the worst. i do often wonder if she would spit up less if she was eating breast milk though....but it could just be her tiny digestive system in general. guess i'll never know. i sometimes think that if i have another kid i'll try breastfeeding them, but that's probably a lie. it's hard enough raising a newborn without all the extra work involved in breastfeeding. it's not as simple as just sticking your boob in their mouth, unfortunately. lol. the nurses at the maternity ward were so discouraging when i wanted to switch to formula for her, they really should be kinder to a brand new mom who just got out of major surgery and cannot rest to heal.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 04:06 PM   #4868
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some kids breastfeed until they're like 5 and i can't imagine that being healthy for the mother or the child. ouch!!!

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 04:16 PM   #4869
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also, those music videos are like The Room of music. WTF. I didn't even know what "smoko" was; why don't Americans have cute slang words like that?

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:04 PM   #4870
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Wait I thought I had surpassed 7,666 posts already.
What devilry

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:12 PM   #4871
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I'm pretty bummed out that the last week i'll get to spend with my gf this year turned out to be very work intensive...

She's gonna spend the holidays with her fam in another city and I decided to stay since my mom would be pretty much alone for christmas and new years... oh well.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:12 PM   #4872
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Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
some kids breastfeed until they're like 5 and i can't imagine that being healthy for the mother or the child. ouch!!!
Yeah that's just asking for incest to occur.

Right?

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:30 PM   #4873
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On the eve of my second birthday, I was handed a knife and told, "There are deer in this valley."

Children today are far too soft.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 07:36 PM   #4874
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I read a study about how longer breastfeeding results in a higher IQ for the child.

But that's pretty much all I know about it. I'll link you to some stuff if you wish.
I've read all of it...I had to convince myself somehow that I wasn't sacrificing my free time and ability to live the normal life of a 20-something year old, for nothing.

Looking back though, I can see I had an enormous amount of confirmation bias going on. So who knows.

Nobody asks you as an adult "Were you breastfed?" as if that's going to explain anything about you. Maybe there's a good reason for that.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 07:40 PM   #4875
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Originally Posted by LaBelle View Post
I'm pretty bummed out that the last week i'll get to spend with my gf this year turned out to be very work intensive...

She's gonna spend the holidays with her fam in another city and I decided to stay since my mom would be pretty much alone for christmas and new years... oh well.
Naw. Sorry to hear that. Your work or hers? Or both?

End of year work sucks. MY husband just found out yesterday that here in Singapore the national holidays are Christmas Day and New Year's Day and his company policy is that you use up your annual leave if you want time off in between. Different to NZ and Australia where you more or less expect your business to completely shut down for a couple of weeks.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 07:57 PM   #4876
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Sucks how they do that, though, as you're required to use about a week of your annual leave for that specific period even in the case that you had zero plans for it. Never mind any designs you might have had on using the lot in June.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 08:14 PM   #4877
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Wait I thought I had surpassed 7,666 posts already.
What devilry
thousands of posts died tragically when the Trump thread burned down

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 08:55 PM   #4878
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My father was basically commanded to take his vacation effective immediately and I'm not sure what the undertones of that are. He's never been fired in his life and he's the director of a museum so I'm not even familiar with what getting fired on that level looks like. I only know crappy jobs and they aren't subtle with the firings. It'd be horrific timing so I hope not but I think he hates it here anyway. People make fun of his accent. Lol

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 09:06 PM   #4879
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I got my peer reviews back for the semester for this software engineering class I'm taking. 1st half was a 98%, second half was a 24%

At this point I just think it's funny.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 09:22 PM   #4880
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On the eve of my second birthday, I was handed a knife and told, "There are deer in this valley."

Children today are far too soft.
r u spartan?

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 09:23 PM   #4881
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Anybody else find it suspicious that Ram27 claims to be a student from Indiana?

Lies from the tablecloth.

 
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Old 12-13-2017, 10:06 PM   #4882
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i just took it as the good ol' "sticking with what u know"

 
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Old 12-14-2017, 12:41 AM   #4883
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Tomorrow I am taking a 17 hour greyhound ride to salt lake city. supposed to watch the mormon tabernacle choir (lol) but my parents didn't get tickets in time so we will watch it on a screen somewhere with hella mormons.

what's lamer than watching the mormon tabernacle choir? watching that shit on a giant outdoor screen.

will keep you guys posted. maybe monte will show up.

 
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Old 12-14-2017, 01:09 AM   #4884
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Please tell me you'll have a marathon session of the Kings Heralds and the Heritage Singers on the way!


 
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Old 12-14-2017, 01:22 AM   #4885
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Hehe.

 
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Old 12-14-2017, 01:23 AM   #4886
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Basically I am going for the sake of the journey and to download as many samurai champloo episodes as possible thru the hotels wifi.

 
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Old 12-14-2017, 01:55 AM   #4887
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Basically I am going for the sake of the journey and to download as many samurai champloo episodes as possible thru the hotels wifi.
I bet the scenery will be AMAZING

 
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Old 12-14-2017, 04:01 AM   #4888
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Naw. Sorry to hear that. Your work or hers? Or both?

End of year work sucks. MY husband just found out yesterday that here in Singapore the national holidays are Christmas Day and New Year's Day and his company policy is that you use up your annual leave if you want time off in between. Different to NZ and Australia where you more or less expect your business to completely shut down for a couple of weeks.
Mine, she's a college student and is already on vacation.

Yeah that's some hot bullshit, having to use up your leave for holidays. My previous job was like that too. And I always had to take that week as leave because family obligations, so I never had any actual vacation on that job.

 
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Old 12-14-2017, 04:08 AM   #4889
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fun (in a "universe is a hologram" kinda way) fact:

in China, when you get days off, you have to basically "give them back" to your workplace on the first chance you get. so if there's holiday downtime and everybody has a day off, you're gonna be asked to show up for work during the following weekend. which basically renders "holidays" just fancy rearrangements of the week. isn't that fucked up?

 
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Old 12-14-2017, 04:09 AM   #4890
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