fuck buddies.

peabody · 12-23-2002, 03:28 PM

what are your opinions on fuck buddies? experiences?

(the reason i ask is because my ex boyfriend asked me to be his! i don't know how i should feel about this. honored? no. disgusted? maybe? excited? no. right now, i feel kinda sad.)

Affect · 12-23-2002, 03:41 PM

Personally, I'm not down.

KrazeeStacee · 12-23-2002, 03:50 PM

If you both will enjoy it, go ahead.
If either one of you may feel awkward or bad about it or anything, then don't.

Affect · 12-23-2002, 04:11 PM

If I need gratification like that, I can do it myself. It's just like an affair. The physical either dies, or changes into something more. Something that one or more of the parties really isn't into.

KrazeeStacee · 12-23-2002, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hyperbole

either that, or you just dont want to commit to anyone, but still need that sort of contact. this is probably the only circumstance that makes a fuck buddy relationship semi-healthy.

I dunno, maybe I took this the wrong way, but...

So you're saying that instead of getting the balls to be commited to someone that they just have mindless sex while leading the other person on and that's semi-healthy as oppose to two people who don't give a shit about eachother but have mindless sex and there are no feelings hurt in the process?

(did that make sense at all?)

peabody · 12-23-2002, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hyperbole
in my opinion, fuck buddies are people that you're not necessarily attracted to, but you're bored/lonely/horny and they're willing.

if you are attracted to them, you dont want to commit to them, and it's usually for some good reason.

either that, or you just dont want to commit to anyone, but still need that sort of contact. this is probably the only circumstance that makes a fuck buddy relationship semi-healthy.

others may see it differently, though. is there some huge reason that you and your ex broke up, alex? if so, run awayyyy!

well. i'm not lonely or horny. bored, yes, but that's hardly an excuse to have random sex. i don't think it would be healthy under any circumstance.

i'd never have a fuck buddy. it's too...weird and shallow and i don't even like sex anyway.

i am disappointed in this guy, because i like him a lot and i thought he was not a typical gay boy. but apparently, he is. it makes me kinda....sad, i guess.

INFECTED · 12-23-2002, 04:42 PM

more sex =

peabody · 12-23-2002, 04:50 PM

yeah.

hmm.

slugger · 12-24-2002, 05:48 AM

hmmm fuck buddies... right about now im all for it.

I fall in love with girls though, which makes being a fuck buddy hard to accomplish.

But for what Hyperbole said (or the words KrazeePumpkin but in your mouth at least), that's wrong as hell. If your gonna get sexually involved with someone you have to be honest with them. You can be a 'player' or whatever but you can usually do that with honest intentions and just be straight forward with that shit... 'i want to fuck you' and if that don't do the trick get a little alcohol in the mix. Turn on some Sade and operate smoothly.

With the girls i've dated and shit over the years (none of them gave me any play though :P) I played the romeo role with that shit so we always in lovey dovey situartions and shit. That just comes more natural to me. But if anyone of them just came to me earlier and said they wanted me as a fuck buddy, I woulda dropped my drawers right then. So basicly just be honest with your intentions and hope that people are down for the same thing you are. cuz you'll hurt yourself and hurt them too.

Glitter Burned · 12-24-2002, 06:31 AM

Personally, I am against this. I think the lack of emotional attachment/connection cheapens the whole situation and makes it devoid of fulfilment.

...if that makes any sense

12-24-2002, 06:57 AM

fuck buddies or friends with benefits?

i have the latter. the sex IS passionate, we talk on the phone alot, hell we used to live/be together...but that's all we're going to be til one of us gets married/dates someone. we're never going to be together again and we're friends, we just have sex, too.

strange_one · 12-24-2002, 09:45 AM

I always wanted a fuck buddy when I was 16, but then so does everyone at that age I guess

crescentfresh · 12-24-2002, 09:59 AM

It's all fun in games until jealousy/further feelings develop. Rarely does that not happen.

jenniferkate · 12-24-2002, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by peabody
ex boyfriend

if it's going to make you sad, it's not a good idea.

Human Replica Droid · 12-24-2002, 02:04 PM

In my experience, a fuck buddy usually turns into something more. Especially since I'd never screw with somebody I didn't think was cool and I wasn't attracted to.

In your case, I think

, since he was your ex, there's a good possibility it'll work, until one of you decides to see someone else.

pastor · 12-24-2002, 02:06 PM

peabody, I believe you are a prude. peabody, I believe that you are engaging in over-generalizing, presumptuous behavior by thinking that your ex-boyfriend's sexual recklessness is indicative of all gay men. peabody, stop being a puritan; I know you live in Virginia, but you don't have to start acting like an Indian Jain. peabody, if you're looking for a rebound, don't look to my two-year-old nephew. that twinkle in his eye is innocence NOT THE EFFEMINATE SPARK OF THE SPARK OF THE SPARK OF THE OH NO THAT'S HIM CALLING ME NOW YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM PREDATOR.

dishpan · 12-24-2002, 04:17 PM

alex,
ive had some experience with fuckbuddies, and to be honest it only happens when one of the two people still wants a relationship. you can both pretend that youre not interested in each other, and are just bored and wanting to get some, but the truth is, one of the people is just pretending.
dan

peabody · 12-24-2002, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by strange_one
I always wanted a fuck buddy when I was 16, but then so does everyone at that age I guess

i've never wanted one!

peabody · 12-24-2002, 04:21 PM

this wasn't a post asking if i should agree or not, 'cause i never would. that's nastay and....umm...not good.

it was a post asking what you all thought about them! and if you had experiences with them, 'cause i've never heard of one working out for the better, and maybe one of you people had had a good experience.

peabody · 12-24-2002, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pastor
peabody, I believe you are a prude. peabody, I believe that you are engaging in over-generalizing, presumptuous behavior by thinking that your ex-boyfriend's sexual recklessness is indicative of all gay men. peabody, stop being a puritan; I know you live in Virginia, but you don't have to start acting like an Indian Jain. peabody, if you're looking for a rebound, don't look to my two-year-old nephew. that twinkle in his eye is innocence NOT THE EFFEMINATE SPARK OF THE SPARK OF THE SPARK OF THE OH NO THAT'S HIM CALLING ME NOW YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM PREDATOR.

but the typical gay "boi" is a random sex fiend.

noir cat · 12-24-2002, 05:24 PM

I don't know about everyone else, but I've had fuckbuddies before, and I think I managed to be semiokay with it... I was somewhat hurt because all the guys I've done stuff with before were pretty boys but those types are usually shallow, empty headed assholes. I was lonely, and I had SOME emotion involved. Little, but some... I think it was more like I wanted acceptance or love or something, and I didn't get any of that but only briefly during sex or a sexual act. Anyway, the only fuck buddy I wasn't hurt by was this girl, she was really nice. In my experience, same sex relations are less hurtful than opposite sex relations regarding sexual activity. But I'm not homosexual, so.

Oh, also. My current significant other, we both had a thing together for a week or something, but it never quite worked out and I was young. Then we went out seperate ways and went out with other people, but we both got dumped at around the same time in a relationship, so we got together and became fuckbuddies. Eventually, through some stuff we formed a relationship and it's been 2 and a half years and we're both very happy, so. It's kind of a happy ending.

Whatever, Alex. The decision is up to you. Just know that relationships with anyone involve a certain amount of risk of being hurt. But I hope you find what you're looking for.

Czarina · 12-24-2002, 05:36 PM

fuck buddies ruin friendships.

Travis Meekz · 12-24-2002, 05:48 PM

in my experiences, they never stay that way. One will begin to develop feelings while the other won't then....BANG, shit goes nuts

pink_ribbon_scars · 12-24-2002, 05:55 PM

I'm not sure what the difference is between fuck buddies and friends with benefits, or if there is a difference, or if it even matters...

I've had several of these relationships, and I'm not sure how I feel about them. One has turned into a real relationship of sorts, which is wonderful but kinda messed up. I really like this guy, but I am going to hurt his feelings somehow and I hate that. For example, I had awesome sex with this one guy and he went away to grad school and I figured I wouldn't see him again. But he's going to be in town for a week soon and he emailed me to see if we could get together. Well, this current guy knows about my past relationship with this grad school guy, and I either have to be sneaky and hook up with him, just admit that I'm going to hook up with him and probably upset this current guy, not hook up with the other guy (but I want to!), or something. And there is another similar situation that is going to pose similar problems. And I am usually aggrivated by someone. And I always wonder what they actually think about me.

So maybe what I'm saying is that it can get really complicated, but there is a lot of good sex to be had. I don't know.

BlueStar · 12-24-2002, 06:14 PM

The short answer:

Someone always winds up getting hurt.

Undone · 12-24-2002, 06:18 PM

I'm pretty sure this has been established (at least in long form heh) already, but I think the difference between fuck buddies and friends with benefits is that fuck buddies is a sans emotional detachment affair in which both parties are involved strictly for the sex. Friends with benefits do care about each other and just so happen to have sexual relations with each other even if they are in relationships with other people. I have no problem with the latter, and do have a VERY occasional (ie I did it once and will probably do it again) friends with benefits sorta thing with my best friend of 8 years who is married. But only with him and his wife.

If one is inclined towards these sorts of relationships, as with all relationships, acquaintance or long term closeknit, being totally honest and keeping the bs games out is necessary. If I was currently with a partner who was very much against poly relationships, I'd respect that wish, but he'd (or she'd) know that I did have that side to me. Not that it's too much of an issue b/c it's impossible to find one person for me anyway.

12-23-2002, 03:28 PM	#1
peabody Minion of Satan Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 5,459	fuck buddies. what are your opinions on fuck buddies? experiences? (the reason i ask is because my ex boyfriend asked me to be his! i don't know how i should feel about this. honored? no. disgusted? maybe? excited? no. right now, i feel kinda sad.)

12-24-2002, 02:06 PM	#16
pastor Apocalyptic Poster Location: somewhere Posts: 2,276	get over here you listen the first time i call you hahah hahah gibberihs peabody, I believe you are a prude. peabody, I believe that you are engaging in over-generalizing, presumptuous behavior by thinking that your ex-boyfriend's sexual recklessness is indicative of all gay men. peabody, stop being a puritan; I know you live in Virginia, but you don't have to start acting like an Indian Jain. peabody, if you're looking for a rebound, don't look to my two-year-old nephew. that twinkle in his eye is innocence NOT THE EFFEMINATE SPARK OF THE SPARK OF THE SPARK OF THE OH NO THAT'S HIM CALLING ME NOW YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM PREDATOR.

12-24-2002, 04:17 PM	#17
dishpan bestfriendless Location: Washington DC \| Dallas TX \| San Diego CA Posts: 1,712	alex, ive had some experience with fuckbuddies, and to be honest it only happens when one of the two people still wants a relationship. you can both pretend that youre not interested in each other, and are just bored and wanting to get some, but the truth is, one of the people is just pretending. dan __________________ YOU ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING POST COUNT To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

12-24-2002, 06:14 PM	#25
BlueStar Newly independent Location: Some state's capitol building Posts: 7,242	The short answer: Someone always winds up getting hurt. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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12-23-2002, 03:41 PM	#2
Affect Fuck Location: xxx Posts: 5,360	Personally, I'm not down.

12-23-2002, 03:50 PM	#3
KrazeeStacee Registered User Location: Sherwood Forest Posts: 21,296	If you both will enjoy it, go ahead. If either one of you may feel awkward or bad about it or anything, then don't.

12-23-2002, 04:11 PM	#4
Affect Fuck Location: xxx Posts: 5,360	If I need gratification like that, I can do it myself. It's just like an affair. The physical either dies, or changes into something more. Something that one or more of the parties really isn't into.

12-23-2002, 04:42 PM	#7
INFECTED Apocalyptic Poster Location: sp Posts: 1,514	more sex =

12-23-2002, 04:50 PM	#8
peabody Minion of Satan Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 5,459	yeah. hmm.

12-24-2002, 05:48 AM	#9
slugger Banned Location: in your head Posts: 1,101	hmmm fuck buddies... right about now im all for it. I fall in love with girls though, which makes being a fuck buddy hard to accomplish. But for what Hyperbole said (or the words KrazeePumpkin but in your mouth at least), that's wrong as hell. If your gonna get sexually involved with someone you have to be honest with them. You can be a 'player' or whatever but you can usually do that with honest intentions and just be straight forward with that shit... 'i want to fuck you' and if that don't do the trick get a little alcohol in the mix. Turn on some Sade and operate smoothly. With the girls i've dated and shit over the years (none of them gave me any play though :P) I played the romeo role with that shit so we always in lovey dovey situartions and shit. That just comes more natural to me. But if anyone of them just came to me earlier and said they wanted me as a fuck buddy, I woulda dropped my drawers right then. So basicly just be honest with your intentions and hope that people are down for the same thing you are. cuz you'll hurt yourself and hurt them too.

12-24-2002, 06:31 AM	#10
Glitter Burned Oblivious Virgin Location: southern CA Posts: 28	Personally, I am against this. I think the lack of emotional attachment/connection cheapens the whole situation and makes it devoid of fulfilment. ...if that makes any sense

12-24-2002, 06:57 AM	#11
Red Wine Cage Posts: n/a	fuck buddies or friends with benefits? i have the latter. the sex IS passionate, we talk on the phone alot, hell we used to live/be together...but that's all we're going to be til one of us gets married/dates someone. we're never going to be together again and we're friends, we just have sex, too.

12-24-2002, 09:45 AM	#12
strange_one No Chance Location: Here Posts: 13,788	I always wanted a fuck buddy when I was 16, but then so does everyone at that age I guess

12-24-2002, 09:59 AM	#13
crescentfresh Minion of Satan Location: Diego Posts: 6,656	It's all fun in games until jealousy/further feelings develop. Rarely does that not happen.

12-24-2002, 02:04 PM	#15
Human Replica Droid Ownz Location: O to the H Posts: 870	In my experience, a fuck buddy usually turns into something more. Especially since I'd never screw with somebody I didn't think was cool and I wasn't attracted to. In your case, I think , since he was your ex, there's a good possibility it'll work, until one of you decides to see someone else.

12-24-2002, 04:21 PM	#19
peabody Minion of Satan Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 5,459	this wasn't a post asking if i should agree or not, 'cause i never would. that's nastay and....umm...not good. it was a post asking what you all thought about them! and if you had experiences with them, 'cause i've never heard of one working out for the better, and maybe one of you people had had a good experience.

12-24-2002, 05:24 PM	#21
noir cat Socialphobic Location: Hicksville, NY Posts: 11,698	I don't know about everyone else, but I've had fuckbuddies before, and I think I managed to be semiokay with it... I was somewhat hurt because all the guys I've done stuff with before were pretty boys but those types are usually shallow, empty headed assholes. I was lonely, and I had SOME emotion involved. Little, but some... I think it was more like I wanted acceptance or love or something, and I didn't get any of that but only briefly during sex or a sexual act. Anyway, the only fuck buddy I wasn't hurt by was this girl, she was really nice. In my experience, same sex relations are less hurtful than opposite sex relations regarding sexual activity. But I'm not homosexual, so. Oh, also. My current significant other, we both had a thing together for a week or something, but it never quite worked out and I was young. Then we went out seperate ways and went out with other people, but we both got dumped at around the same time in a relationship, so we got together and became fuckbuddies. Eventually, through some stuff we formed a relationship and it's been 2 and a half years and we're both very happy, so. It's kind of a happy ending. Whatever, Alex. The decision is up to you. Just know that relationships with anyone involve a certain amount of risk of being hurt. But I hope you find what you're looking for.

12-24-2002, 05:36 PM	#22
Czarina Pledge Location: Canada Posts: 238	fuck buddies ruin friendships.

12-24-2002, 05:48 PM	#23
Travis Meekz Minion of Satan Location: . Posts: 6,297	in my experiences, they never stay that way. One will begin to develop feelings while the other won't then....BANG, shit goes nuts

12-24-2002, 05:55 PM	#24
pink_ribbon_scars At the beginning Location: GJ 1214 b Posts: 10,760	I'm not sure what the difference is between fuck buddies and friends with benefits, or if there is a difference, or if it even matters... I've had several of these relationships, and I'm not sure how I feel about them. One has turned into a real relationship of sorts, which is wonderful but kinda messed up. I really like this guy, but I am going to hurt his feelings somehow and I hate that. For example, I had awesome sex with this one guy and he went away to grad school and I figured I wouldn't see him again. But he's going to be in town for a week soon and he emailed me to see if we could get together. Well, this current guy knows about my past relationship with this grad school guy, and I either have to be sneaky and hook up with him, just admit that I'm going to hook up with him and probably upset this current guy, not hook up with the other guy (but I want to!), or something. And there is another similar situation that is going to pose similar problems. And I am usually aggrivated by someone. And I always wonder what they actually think about me. So maybe what I'm saying is that it can get really complicated, but there is a lot of good sex to be had. I don't know.

12-24-2002, 06:18 PM	#26
Undone Apocalyptic Poster Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 1,335	I'm pretty sure this has been established (at least in long form heh) already, but I think the difference between fuck buddies and friends with benefits is that fuck buddies is a sans emotional detachment affair in which both parties are involved strictly for the sex. Friends with benefits do care about each other and just so happen to have sexual relations with each other even if they are in relationships with other people. I have no problem with the latter, and do have a VERY occasional (ie I did it once and will probably do it again) friends with benefits sorta thing with my best friend of 8 years who is married. But only with him and his wife. If one is inclined towards these sorts of relationships, as with all relationships, acquaintance or long term closeknit, being totally honest and keeping the bs games out is necessary. If I was currently with a partner who was very much against poly relationships, I'd respect that wish, but he'd (or she'd) know that I did have that side to me. Not that it's too much of an issue b/c it's impossible to find one person for me anyway.