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Old 05-23-2014, 09:14 PM   #1
Trotskilicious
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Default meeting women at the office

so i have found out that my impending late night shift is filled with attractive women

i am obviously not the greatest at meeting women and lots of people meet at work

how do you do this without like being creepy or sexually harrassing and etc

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 09:29 PM   #2
duovamp
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"Hahaha, yeah... Hey, we should hang out some time."
"(Positive response)."
"What's your number?"

Update thread after this point for further advice.

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 09:43 PM   #3
Trotskilicious
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okay man i'm gonna do that

i'm so gonna get a girl to like me someday

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 10:42 PM   #4
MyOneAndOnly
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don't shit where you eat

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:23 AM   #5
Shallowed
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scottytheoneand View Post
don't shit where you eat
Yeah this. Acquaint them instead, go out for drinks/coffee/whatever, have conversations about mutual interests, but don't try to fuck them.

If you must fuck them, trying not to fuck them might work better than trying to fuck them anyway.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:48 AM   #6
D.
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Itís OK. This is life, such is life. You look OK, you'll be OK. Time will tell if itís Godís will. It is what it is. I feel your pain. Live and let live and just be yourself. Youíll get over it if you donít dwell on it. It could be worse. It was meant to be. Just think positive. Patience is a virtue. Youíll get through it and your time will come. Own it and move on. Youíll get better at it. Keep a stiff upper lip. Whatís done is done, donít let it eat at you. Get on with your life, it wasnít meant to be. Things will work out. We all have problems. Happiness is a choice. Donít let it bother you. Things will get easier if you just follow your heart. Nothing is impossible. Itís for your own good. Youíre better than this. Youíre lucky to be alive. Time heals all wounds. Something will turn up. Look on the bright side and donít linger on the past. Tomorrow will be better, just donít think about it. Take it one day at a time. Let it slide off your back and donít let it get you down. Just try harder next time. Tomorrowís another day. You still have your health. Youíll be better off for this. Donít let life get you down. You did the best you could. At least youíre not homeless. Everythingís going to be OK. This is just a bump in the road. You gotta do what you gotta do. Thereís plenty of fish in the sea and it will all be worth it in the end. Everything happens for a reason. You just have to try a little harder. You have to know you limitations. The only thing to fear is fear itself. You just need to believe in yourself because your negativity is your only hurdle. You can be anything you want to be. There is someone worse off than you. You have your whole life ahead of you. Good things come to people who wait. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Thereís somebody out there for everyone; you just havenít met the right person yet. If at first you donít succeed, try, try again. What doesnít kill you makes you stronger. Youíre making a mountain out of a molehill. Life doesnít give you things you canít handle. Things would be better if you were more positive.

You'll thank me for this one day.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 09:45 PM   #7
Trotskilicious
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shallowed View Post
Yeah this. Acquaint them instead, go out for drinks/coffee/whatever, have conversations about mutual interests, but don't try to fuck them.

If you must fuck them, trying not to fuck them might work better than trying to fuck them anyway.
why is this plural like i'm some kind of lothario

i just would like to put my best foot forward in a non office policy shattering i'm not suggestive to you in a bar kind of way you know i mean jeez guys

i just want to maybe have a date and not be like duplicitous by being golly sure i'm your friend at first the whole time i just would like to have a date to go see SWANS because she also loves swans or might love swans or could love swans ~

i think even my thread is wrong even these questions are wrong i have the wrong mindset to begin with and i suffer from profound insecurity to protect the human race from having more of my genetic stock in the gene pool

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 10:44 PM   #8
Future Boy
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just quit if needed, worked out last time

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:26 PM   #9
Trotskilicious
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p. sure i can get on unemployment if i work this one right

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:44 PM   #10
Bread Regal
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-act like you don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about you but don't be overtly negative.
-if there is a situation where you need to say something negative or complain, end the statement with an upnote.
-think of a few cultural signifiers that are absolutely necessary, and use them to start conversations. talk about stories you heard on NPR, but avoid topics like genocide.


and man, most of all:
-smell nice. chew gum after your lunch break. dunno if you smoke cigarettes, but if you do cut that shit out. this is a deal breaker for all women.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 11:00 AM   #11
Lucky Day Spa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bread Regal View Post
talk about stories you heard on NPR, but avoid topics like genocide.
that's settlin' talk

if you want a partner who's right for you, go ahead and lead with genocide

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 09:45 PM   #12
Trotskilicious
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky Day Spa View Post
that's settlin' talk

if you want a partner who's right for you, go ahead and lead with genocide
it's not working man

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:45 PM   #13
Bread Regal
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i wear old spice classic because it's inexpensive but i'm going to transition to something else because i imagine it reminds women of their dads and grandpas.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 02:36 AM   #14
Raskolnikov
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bread Regal View Post
i wear old spice classic because it's inexpensive but i'm going to transition to something else because i imagine it reminds women of their dads and grandpas.
I've got a bottle of that, which has one of my favorite lines of ad copy ever on it: "If your grandpa didn't wear this, you wouldn't exist." Pure gold.

Anyways, yeah - even though I do have that aftershave, I rarely wear it. That said, it still makes me feel classy in a vintage way as all hell every now and again.

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:50 PM   #15
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well i'm doomed

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:50 PM   #16
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what are cultural signifires i dunno what that is

 
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Old 05-23-2014, 11:51 PM   #17
Bread Regal
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i'm having a hard time understanding why you think that.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:00 AM   #18
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by cultural signifiers i mean, you know you will not be able to stand someone who is pro life, but an avid NPR listener is a person whose presence you can tolerate on a long term basis. they will pick up on this too even though you're the one initating it.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:02 AM   #19
Trotskilicious
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bread Regal View Post
t an avid NPR listener is a person whose presence you can tolerate on a long term basis
if they are avid npr listeners i think i'd probably not be able to stand them after a while

if they go "hey man i actually heard something cool on NPR the other day"

i'd be like "really? there's so much bourgoisie shit on that station,"

"absolutely, it makes me sick most of the time," and then she'd run her hand thru her blue mohawk and our eyes will meet

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:00 AM   #20
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you described all the things i can't do and a person that is not who i am so i'm just a hopeless loser that will never find anyone and will die of colon cancer alone

i mean i've been told i smell nice before but i think in every case it was either ironic or it was because i usually smell like farts and ball sweat, cigarettes and weed. now it's just farts, ballsweat and weed.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:04 AM   #21
Bread Regal
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so there's a girl with a blue mohawk where you work.

i would respond with "they have some good stuff on there, but some of the reporting is so out of touch that it's comical. anyway what's this intersting thing you heard?"

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:07 AM   #22
Gossamer
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don't act like you do on the internet.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:08 AM   #23
Bread Regal
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go to hell gossamer

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:15 AM   #24
Trotskilicious
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it's like he lurks just to insult me

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 12:33 AM   #25
Future Boy
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act exactly like you do on the internet

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 01:26 AM   #26
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Make them laugh.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 01:34 AM   #27
Trotskilicious
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i've always been able to do that

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 01:53 AM   #28
Kreatorkind
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WHAAA!!! Women don't instantly suck my dick!!! WHaa BUT THEY'RE SO HOTTT!!! I WANT THEM TO SUCK MY LITTLE PEE PEE!!!!

Oh, maybe if you weren't such a fat piece of shit that expected women to "see past your shitty fuck face" and give you a chance.... then maybe you could trick them into letting you have an orgasm in their presence.

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 02:27 AM   #29
Sonic Johnny
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I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks now who was a regular customer at my work. I'm leaving soon so I figured I should just take the shot... pulled the most cliche barista move ever and wrote my phone number on her coffee. I've never done that before and probably would never do it again but it worked out pretty fuckin good for me.

I dunno if that helps but I guess write your phone number on a stapler or something and then hand it to her?

 
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Old 05-24-2014, 02:36 AM   #30
Kreatorkind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic Johnny View Post
I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks now who was a regular customer at my work. I'm leaving soon so I figured I should just take the shot... pulled the most cliche barista move ever and wrote my phone number on her coffee. I've never done that before and probably would never do it again but it worked out pretty fuckin good for me.

I dunno if that helps but I guess write your phone number on a stapler or something and then hand it to her?

Right on muthafukka!

 
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