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Old 09-28-2021, 01:26 AM   #31
Run To Me
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i got sectioned because i was having bad panic attack/flashback combos and took I think 6mg of lorazepam (or maybe 8mg) and stupidly told them and they said I tried to kill myself lol

you could take 600mg of lorazepam and you wouldn't die unless you mixed it
What does sectioned mean? Guess i wasn’t in long enough to find out

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 04:08 AM   #32
teh b0lly!!1
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Last night was probably my alcoholic low

This is not a war story. This is not cool. This is gross. Ok get ready

Took a hot bath because i thought my body was like, only thing i can think of to explain it was the universe
This reads like ego death. Were there any other drugs involved?

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 04:37 AM   #33
teh b0lly!!1
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I don't really have anything useful to say, but sorry for your pain R2P.

It's been a monumental challenge trying to hold it together, for sure. I know it is for me. I just had to quarantine for 14 days and I feel barely able to talk to people and be a real person atm. With all this reality crumbling away thing, our fav vices, and time to reflect about all the horrible shit you've done and was done to you... It's like depersonalization/derealization on a global scale. And ofc personal as well. You are not alone in dealing with this.

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 05:05 AM   #34
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Worst most traumatic experience of my life. Imagine prison but the only people there are virulently insane and they swarmed me b/c i am quiet and nonthreatening
shit's fucked

i don't know how anyone could think this is suitable treatment

maybe they don't

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 10:41 AM   #35
reprise85
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What does sectioned mean? Guess i wasn’t in long enough to find out
sectioned means forcefully committed. the law is called the baker act in florida

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 02:13 PM   #36
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can we do the bathtub thing again only i'm in the bathtub and you're puking on my hobbit?

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 02:14 PM   #37
Run To Me
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can we do the bathtub thing again only i'm in the bathtub and you're puking on my hobbit?
Hehe oh u

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 02:14 PM   #38
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It was the kind of barf where u barf

Then u have to barf some more b/c of how disgusting the barf was

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 02:19 PM   #39
Run To Me
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This reads like ego death. Were there any other drugs involved?
Nope just the lingering benzo/Librium/Valium combo, about let’s just say 10-12 beers, bout 25 microhits, and a lip fulla Copenhagen. Felt like i was floating out of control so thought the hot bath would ground me to my body, like self care. Like lizzo

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 02:20 PM   #40
Run To Me
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Word of warning: microhits will not always save u from nausea if u add too many things like that

 
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Old 09-28-2021, 02:28 PM   #41
Run To Me
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I don't really have anything useful to say, but sorry for your pain R2P.

It's been a monumental challenge trying to hold it together, for sure. I know it is for me. I just had to quarantine for 14 days and I feel barely able to talk to people and be a real person atm. With all this reality crumbling away thing, our fav vices, and time to reflect about all the horrible shit you've done and was done to you... It's like depersonalization/derealization on a global scale. And ofc personal as well. You are not alone in dealing with this.
ilu

Thanks for the support. You’ve always been right there when ive shared struggles. Wish i could be near to provide u the support u need. If it’s hard talking to those other folks, just think some of them probably broke out a mental hospital like me so like with the cockroaches in my super 8, or Bigfoot hisself, they may even be more afraid than u are of them

 
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Old 09-30-2021, 01:50 PM   #42
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Wheel-chair bound perennially suicidal class clown veteran silver haired alpha named Nate (favorite joke was telling our less literary sister/brethren what does coitus mean, really knee slappin style delivery) and i thought ok this man will be insufferable god please let him not latch onto me

Then made the mistake he caught me reading Passport to Magonia during lunch time, and by gosh did he have something to tell me about the spooky world. So i thought oh shit but at least maybe he will tell me some wacky spirit tales

Instead he told me a pretty good Bigfoot story later on during art therapy where we were making slime out of like shaving cream and some other stuff, dunno i was head on desk from tranqs Valium etc

So Bigfoot story was ok, best part is he said it was as loud as an approaching train when it got pissed. Also they have no necks. And they’re black, and the natives won’t go near there but Nate was on special secret soldier times

But then i noticed the instant i stopped making eye contact while he talked, he elbowed me in the arm. Like pretty good elbow like, “hey wtf man this is a good story you’re gonna miss it”

Then he wanted to tell me the same story the next day during Tech Hour where we discovered there is anger in the world, before everything devolved because Tim was having a real bad day

But before class broke up, Nate kept elbowing even tho i made sorta point of like taking notes and nodding to the Tech. And got more forceful, and got more pissed the more i looked away. Saw some other ppl like “oh shit Nate found a new one.” And this was like insistent. Quick as your eyes leave yours, nudge. Tap. Jab. Had to be at least a dozen or so more aggressive jabs in the space of 10 minutes

But elbowing wasn’t even near on the Techs radar, they were at capacity with a mixed bunch and they mostly wanted our little number 2 pencils back so we wouldn’t stab each other and ourselves in the neck. So i had like no recourse, just got elbowed and told the same Bigfoot story for 5 days

So fuck Bigfoot

Last edited by Run To Me : 09-30-2021 at 02:01 PM. Reason: Jabs

 
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Old 09-30-2021, 02:38 PM   #43
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I thought you escaped?

 
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Old 09-30-2021, 06:35 PM   #44
Run To Me
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When u escape they let u keep the stories

 
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Old 09-30-2021, 06:44 PM   #45
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you should go back to your family, man. hotels are no place to get sober. i should know ...

 
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Old 09-30-2021, 11:24 PM   #46
Run To Me
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you should go back to your family, man. hotels are no place to get sober. i should know ...
Would if i could

Astonishingly enough my dad has really come thru and offered to let me stay in his room he keeps at my grandmas house. So gonna head there Saturday start doing smart recovery and listen to my dad talk to me about doomsday and Joey Smith Jr you’re abuout to see a side of running 2 pee like u never even

 
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Old 10-01-2021, 03:35 AM   #47
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Just doubling back to send some encouragement. I'm not much of an expert on many things, but I am a professional at doing drugs then quitting drugs. I know firsthand that detox is brutal yet survivable. I've been thinking about what you're going through, and I can't lie about the anxiety spike it's given me because I remember clearly the misery of quitting heroin, quitting benzos, quitting cigarettes, and even the discomfort of quitting pot. (There was no misery in quitting meth, only joy.) This is kind of a crappy message of support but you're definitely not alone, if my sideways ass could stay clean and stable for more than 4 years now then you're more than capable, if that's what you want for yourself. If you want someone to joke around with or talk to as you go over these hurdles, I'm here. We're all here.

 
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Old 10-01-2021, 03:42 AM   #48
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I'm highly uncomfortable with having written that, so I hope you understand my intention

 
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Old 10-01-2021, 01:57 PM   #49
Run To Me
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Just doubling back to send some encouragement. I'm not much of an expert on many things, but I am a professional at doing drugs then quitting drugs. I know firsthand that detox is brutal yet survivable. I've been thinking about what you're going through, and I can't lie about the anxiety spike it's given me because I remember clearly the misery of quitting heroin, quitting benzos, quitting cigarettes, and even the discomfort of quitting pot. (There was no misery in quitting meth, only joy.) This is kind of a crappy message of support but you're definitely not alone, if my sideways ass could stay clean and stable for more than 4 years now then you're more than capable, if that's what you want for yourself. If you want someone to joke around with or talk to as you go over these hurdles, I'm here. We're all here.
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I'm highly uncomfortable with having written that, so I hope you understand my intention
Your encouragement is so, so inspiring/welcome. All your stories, too. Sorry you’re having anxiety about your experiences. If sharing em helps im always on here too

For me this time it will be no alcohol marijuana or dirty movies. Gonna leave the nicotine gum and caffeine problem for a little later on

 
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Old 10-01-2021, 05:25 PM   #50
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Yeah, tackling one at a time is what I did, too. I quit hard drugs about a year before quitting pot, then quit cigs a few months later. I think nicotine is the absolute hardest thing to kick. The fact that I only have a close approximation of the exact time I quit everything else and know the precise day of my last cigarette (Nov 15 2017) speaks to that. I think most people save it for last. Even the biggest smack head doesn't shoot up 15+ times a day.

Thanks for understanding me. I don't talk about this stuff with anybody, I moved across the country to get away from all of it as I was getting clean, and therefore no one knows about my past. Which is the way I want it, especially having a kid who doesn't need to know about any of my past struggles during her childhood. I've immersed myself completely in motherhood and work, so when I stop and remember things from my 20s I am sometimes shocked at how highly I've compartmentalized my own life. I read some old posts I made here, and it put me in a headspace that is now usually dead and deeply buried, so it's very strange. Sorry to talk about myself, it's just highly relatable to me to and I care, so.

 
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Old 10-01-2021, 05:50 PM   #51
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I quit cigs cold turkey after setting my car on fire (accidentally). I think that was 12/30/2011. I still smoked weed a little after that, but not much. I quit opiates first, a few years before, though I have had little lapses here and there since then (about 2010).

I still drink occasionally but I've never had an issue with it. Lots of people have to completely stop everything though. I'm actually on Naltrexone in the hopes it will help me stop some compulsive (non-drug) behaviors, which definitely kills any opiate high and is supposed to do the same for alcohol, but anecdotally I feel like I still get a little buzz. But it might just be in my head. I never drink more than 1-2 anyway, so it's a very small effect.

R2M I am glad you're trying SMART Recovery, it's way better than AA/NA etc

 
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Old 10-01-2021, 06:11 PM   #52
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in the event it is helpful, i wanted to share the following:


 
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