Friday/Saturday drunk or otherwise thread

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I'm not sure if I am being serious or flippant when I ask this: are these people stupid though? It's oft repeated that psychology has shown correlation between high intelligence and mental illness, risky behaviors, etc. I guess maybe stupid isn't the right word, but are people like this going through life in a generally less analytical, contemplative way?

I think less contemplative people are happier generally, however I wouldn't say that makes them stupid or that contemplative people are exempt from being happy. I feel like we have very little say in the intelligence we were born with, and it's not some kind of badge to be contemplative... it's just what it is, I had nothing to do with it, and in the end it may cause more problems than it helps.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Disco King

While it could be true that those with emotional issues might have some sorts of insights most don't, I think it's important to avoid the whole kind of Holden Caulfield attitude. I dunno, I remember being a little shit like that as a teenager, kind of convincing myself I was more contemplative than my peers, but the older I get, the more I know that I don't know shit and that people have valuable information that I could learn from if I pay attention.

Yeah it's not a matter of thinking you're more contemplative than others, and that somehow makes you superior. It's something you have little choice in and is really a hazard of living. Plenty of people are contemplative - the majority, probably. But those people who aren't, I think do have an advantage in feeling happy. But I could be wrong.

I don't know if I actually have anything clinical, because I've never gone to a doctor about it. Maybe I should. I dunno, when I try to convince myself I should, I end up realizing that I'm not that bad off. And if my mood changes, it's hard to really recall what my thoughts were like under a different mood, so I don't know how reliable my reports would be.

Also, I feel like there could be a large range of possible things off with me, and I feel like if I do have something clinical, the way I present my symptoms could affect what the diagnosis is, and I'm kind of worried about getting misdiagnosed because I emphasized this set instead of that set of thoughts I have. Especially because I've done some internet research on diagnoses that I think are possible contenders, and it seems like it'd be really easy to convince oneself that one has an illness just by reading about it (because maybe I'd read the indicators and might re-interpret my own behaviour to better "fit" the criteria if they really only fit a little bit, and then present the skewed interpretation of my behaviors to the therapist), so I feel like it makes me less objective.

You don't have to have any kind of clinical disorder to get help from therapy. And yeah of course the exposure to anything changes the way you manifest symptoms. But being objective is really not the point, the doctor has studied thousands of hours to be able to give a professional opinion. Doesn't matter how much you've read on the internet, certain things we would never think of as well as experience with 100s of clients is not something you can get any other way but doing it.

Also, I'm afraid of getting screwed by meds if I were to get prescribed them. From the stories I read, it seems like meds are kind of this winding road of trial and error with lots of trade-offs rather than being this instant ticket to feeling normal, and I'm afraid of fucking up my academic career because I get put on something that makes me lethargic and lowers my motivation or something. Then again, that's already starting to happen a bit without meds because I've been having troubles with procrastination and motivation as of the past few semesters, and I used to never hand stuff in late at all. I dunno if that's part of other issues or if I'm just rationalizing being a lazy student.

I resisted meds until I had no choice. If you were there, you'd know it. It's not necessary to get there before you try them, though. Changing behaviors such as you're describing could be a sign of depression, or could not be. Remember also, if you're to try something you could always wait until the period between semesters or some other time. But it's a common occurrence that someone who is depressed and finally gives in feels stupid that they didn't try it sooner. If something has intolerable side effects, you can stop taking it. For some people it is a very short process of finding the right medication. Some people never find it. But I think most people who have mild-moderate depression (I'm assuming you don't think about killing yourself often, plus you're functioning in society) find that medications can help them and that it just takes a few trials. No it's not going to turn you into mr happy all of a sudden but you can feel the difference. If your brain is not functioning optimally, and then it gets better, you don't feel like superman but the normalcy feels great.

I'm not saying you definitely need medication but therapy can be helpful and a therapist could give you a more informed opinion on whether they could help you or not. I take a few things but Wellbutrin really has helped me with motivation and concentration at school. I was having problems the past semester and we upped it and I immediately felt stupid that I resisted it because I feel so much better. Taking more or starting something seems disappointing, like giving in but it's really the opposite. Does it suck that I need medication to function? Yes. But I simply wouldn't function without it. That makes it worth it for me. Everyone has different pros and cons to consider.

[teh b0lly!!1]

I resisted meds until I had no choice.

yeah i think i hit that point just now.
it comes back to the whole integrity thing i was talking about. or maybe i didn't cause i deleted it before hitting 'submit', i don't know. but i just don't want to fucking feel like this anymore and i don't care what the consequences are. either way it'll be a good few months before i go back home so no meds until then.

[reprise85]

you can't get meds where you are now? assuming you're somewhere without universal healthcare eh?

sorry you're having such a bad time of it. there's nothing that can be said that doesn't sound stupid so i'll just say you're in my thoughts and I've been there and gotten better and so can you

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes

What does it mean when one is fully aware that the world is mostly shit, life is kinda pointless, everything is random and often horrible, and yet, one can still get out of bed with ease each morning and make shit happen?

Because that's what I got.

maybe we can have a seance and ask lds

[buzzard]

http://i.imgur.com/lgNgoA4.jpg?1

[Cool As Ice Cream]

It actually brings a tear of joy to my eye

[duovamp]

A beer of toy.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

a beer for moi

[hnibos]

Originally Posted by Run To Me

Gotcha. I've just heard the "everyone gets sad, all u need is to get outta bed! exercise! eat right! you'll make it!" line so many times I get a little fired up about it.

To me it's like telling a paraplegic, "Everyone can't feel their legs sometimes! What, you think you're special? Come on outta that wheelchair, ya slouch!"

Life is what you make it <3

[Cool As Ice Cream]

it's all in your head
be a man
we're all adults here
it is what it is

[run2pee]

One thing about rx antidepressants I'll just throw out there

Make sure you have a dr who is actually seeing you at like 2-week intervals as you try em out. Or have friends you see often that are well acquainted with your normal demeanor, etc, and can alert you if something's up.

I say this because I once went on a full-throttle manic episode on a very low dose of cymbalta. It lasted like three weeks and I behaved very badly/dangerously and I lost a job, a true love, countless friends, and my family has never looked at me the same since.

The dr who prescribed it had her assistant call me just once about two weeks into the trial: "how's it working?" Me, on the other end of the phone, snorting, strutting, baring my fangs, "oh it's working great! Thanks!"

[The exploding boy]

I haven't even managed to stay on antidepressants for over a month. Not counting wellbutrin which it turned out did nothing. Though i intend to try again as soon as my current drug study is over.

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by Run To Me

One thing about rx antidepressants I'll just throw out there

Make sure you have a dr who is actually seeing you at like 2-week intervals as you try em out. Or have friends you see often that are well acquainted with your normal demeanor, etc, and can alert you if something's up.

I say this because I once went on a full-throttle manic episode on a very low dose of cymbalta. It lasted like three weeks and I behaved very badly/dangerously and I lost a job, a true love, countless friends, and my family has never looked at me the same since.

The dr who prescribed it had her assistant call me just once about two weeks into the trial: "how's it working?" Me, on the other end of the phone, snorting, strutting, baring my fangs, "oh it's working great! Thanks!"

very good advice.

[FoolofaTook]

is it just the weed or did coll ass repeat himself a bunch of times all over the place?

[teh b0lly!!1]

not to say you're to blame, Run2Me, but how come you didn't notice something was off with yourself?

[FoolofaTook]

your playing with my mind man!

[teh b0lly!!1]

i smoked some hash with a friend the other day. i used to be a pretty heavy pot smoker. i'd unwind every night with a joint or two. i haven't smoked any marijuana at all for at least 6-7 months. being where i am right now i definitely don't enjoy it as i used to. it gets my thoughts going and you guys all know how bad that goes when it gets rolling (if not, may i suggest you glance at my confessional movie review ghost thread)

[teh b0lly!!1]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

your playing with my mind man!

i'd rather be playing with your asshole, if that's what your getting at.

[FoolofaTook]

uh...

[run2pee]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

not to say you're to blame, Run2Me, but how come you didn't notice something was off with yourself?

It seems impossible in retrospect, but after a decade or so of hating myself, I truly felt during those three weeks like I was finally the Run to Me I was born2be. It's part and parcel of the manic episode. Everyone else thinks you're on meth, meanwhile you feel like the Son of Beesus Christ Hisself.

It wasn't until it petered out of its own accord that I was able to survey the damage and realize what had happened.

[reprise85]

Yeah that's the problem with treating mania as well. It feels good. Lots of people don't want to take the meds, or think they can somehow be manic for a few days or whatever and keep it from getting out of hand and then take their meds again. Doesn't work very well from what I've seen. I personally have never had any kind of mania except from sleep deprivation which ofc doesn't count.

[toase]

I need alcohol

[hnibos]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

uh...

Surprisingly aroused, huh

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by reprise85

You don't have to have any kind of clinical disorder to get help from therapy. And yeah of course the exposure to anything changes the way you manifest symptoms. But being objective is really not the point, the doctor has studied thousands of hours to be able to give a professional opinion. Doesn't matter how much you've read on the internet, certain things we would never think of as well as experience with 100s of clients is not something you can get any other way but doing it.

I'm just wondering if, since the doctor's opinion will be based on whatever information I offer, could things I've read bias my interpretations and the info I think is most important to relate to the doctor in the first place?

Originally Posted by reprise85

I resisted meds until I had no choice. If you were there, you'd know it. It's not necessary to get there before you try them, though. Changing behaviors such as you're describing could be a sign of depression, or could not be. Remember also, if you're to try something you could always wait until the period between semesters or some other time. But it's a common occurrence that someone who is depressed and finally gives in feels stupid that they didn't try it sooner. If something has intolerable side effects, you can stop taking it. For some people it is a very short process of finding the right medication. Some people never find it. But I think most people who have mild-moderate depression (I'm assuming you don't think about killing yourself often, plus you're functioning in society) find that medications can help them and that it just takes a few trials. No it's not going to turn you into mr happy all of a sudden but you can feel the difference. If your brain is not functioning optimally, and then it gets better, you don't feel like superman but the normalcy feels great.

I see. Yeah, if anything is wrong with me, it's pretty mild, as I function and all. I don't think I have real suicidal thoughts, either. I mean, I think about it abstractly probably every day, but don't actually want to do it. If a doctor were to recommend meds, I suppose it wouldn't be too bad for me to wait until the semester is over.

[reprise85]

Yes, thing you've read could bias your interpretations and info you tell him or her. But, they'll be a standardized background they take of you - called a biopsychosocial - your biological, psychological, and social history (family history/traumas). So they should ask you any direct questions they want answered.

Just because your issues are relatively mild compared to someone who is severely depressed, that doesn't mean they aren't a big deal or make a big difference in your quality of life. You don't have to live with a reduced quality of life or a life where you're off balance all the time. And thinking about suicide every day - even abstractly - is not something that most people do. Therapy may or may not be able to help that and I'm not sure how distracting/disrupting the thoughts are to you, but they can possible be helped.

[redbreegull]

I can't imagine how someone could go through a whole day without contemplating suicide

I don't even mean that in a depressing oh woe is me way. I'm just so used to thinking about it that it often crosses my mind in a completely casual, emotionally disconnected way.

[yo soy el mejor]

i have a fear/excitement about jumping in front of a train. some days i'm scared some rando will push me on the tracks and i avoid standing near anyone with my back against a wall. other days i pace around the platform and pop my head over the tracks every so often to see if the train is coming. when the train is approaching i get a little worried and excited (in the original sense of the word) that i might lose my mind for a second and jump.

it's just freaky that it should be so easy. the mind of a commuter wanders a lot - nothing else to do.

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by reprise85

Yes, thing you've read could bias your interpretations and info you tell him or her. But, they'll be a standardized background they take of you - called a biopsychosocial - your biological, psychological, and social history (family history/traumas). So they should ask you any direct questions they want answered.

Just because your issues are relatively mild compared to someone who is severely depressed, that doesn't mean they aren't a big deal or make a big difference in your quality of life. You don't have to live with a reduced quality of life or a life where you're off balance all the time. And thinking about suicide every day - even abstractly - is not something that most people do. Therapy may or may not be able to help that and I'm not sure how distracting/disrupting the thoughts are to you, but they can possible be helped.

I see. My university offers ten free sessions per degree. Maybe I'll book an appointment.

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

i have a fear/excitement about jumping in front of a train. some days i'm scared some rando will push me on the tracks and i avoid standing near anyone with my back against a wall. other days i pace around the platform and pop my head over the tracks every so often to see if the train is coming. when the train is approaching i get a little worried and excited (in the original sense of the word) that i might lose my mind for a second and jump.

it's just freaky that it should be so easy. the mind of a commuter wanders a lot - nothing else to do.

Yeah every time I'm waiting for a train, I think about how easy it would be to just jump in front of it. I don't want to, but it's scary that all it would take is me wanting to.

[redbreegull]

I think about jumping in front of trucks, trains, going nuts in airport security, jumping whenever I am in a high place...

it's totally my normal function as I go through life. Doesn't bother me anymore and isn't depressing. It's disconnected from the feeling I get when I actually want to kill myself.