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05-23-2014, 09:14 PM | #1 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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meeting women at the office
so i have found out that my impending late night shift is filled with attractive women
i am obviously not the greatest at meeting women and lots of people meet at work how do you do this without like being creepy or sexually harrassing and etc |
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05-23-2014, 09:29 PM | #2 |
Brazilian Blouselord
Location: heavy metal pool party
Posts: 35,781
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"Hahaha, yeah... Hey, we should hang out some time."
"(Positive response)." "What's your number?" Update thread after this point for further advice. |
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05-23-2014, 09:43 PM | #3 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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okay man i'm gonna do that
i'm so gonna get a girl to like me someday |
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05-23-2014, 10:42 PM | #4 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,879
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don't shit where you eat
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05-23-2014, 10:44 PM | #5 |
The Man of Tomorrow
Posts: 26,965
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just quit if needed, worked out last time
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05-23-2014, 11:26 PM | #6 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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p. sure i can get on unemployment if i work this one right
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05-23-2014, 11:44 PM | #7 |
Banned
Posts: 5,711
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-act like you don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about you but don't be overtly negative.
-if there is a situation where you need to say something negative or complain, end the statement with an upnote. -think of a few cultural signifiers that are absolutely necessary, and use them to start conversations. talk about stories you heard on NPR, but avoid topics like genocide. and man, most of all: -smell nice. chew gum after your lunch break. dunno if you smoke cigarettes, but if you do cut that shit out. this is a deal breaker for all women. |
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05-23-2014, 11:45 PM | #8 |
Banned
Posts: 5,711
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i wear old spice classic because it's inexpensive but i'm going to transition to something else because i imagine it reminds women of their dads and grandpas.
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05-23-2014, 11:50 PM | #9 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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well i'm doomed
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05-23-2014, 11:50 PM | #10 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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what are cultural signifires i dunno what that is
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05-23-2014, 11:51 PM | #11 |
Banned
Posts: 5,711
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i'm having a hard time understanding why you think that.
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05-24-2014, 12:00 AM | #12 |
Banned
Posts: 5,711
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by cultural signifiers i mean, you know you will not be able to stand someone who is pro life, but an avid NPR listener is a person whose presence you can tolerate on a long term basis. they will pick up on this too even though you're the one initating it.
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05-24-2014, 12:00 AM | #13 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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you described all the things i can't do and a person that is not who i am so i'm just a hopeless loser that will never find anyone and will die of colon cancer alone
i mean i've been told i smell nice before but i think in every case it was either ironic or it was because i usually smell like farts and ball sweat, cigarettes and weed. now it's just farts, ballsweat and weed. |
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05-24-2014, 12:02 AM | #14 | |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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Quote:
if they go "hey man i actually heard something cool on NPR the other day" i'd be like "really? there's so much bourgoisie shit on that station," "absolutely, it makes me sick most of the time," and then she'd run her hand thru her blue mohawk and our eyes will meet |
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05-24-2014, 12:04 AM | #15 |
Banned
Posts: 5,711
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so there's a girl with a blue mohawk where you work.
i would respond with "they have some good stuff on there, but some of the reporting is so out of touch that it's comical. anyway what's this intersting thing you heard?" |
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05-24-2014, 12:07 AM | #16 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: We got it like three quarters of the way in whilst on vacation last week. Minor success. Unfortunately she is leaving for England in a couple of days.
Posts: 3,832
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don't act like you do on the internet.
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05-24-2014, 12:08 AM | #17 |
Banned
Posts: 5,711
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go to hell gossamer
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05-24-2014, 12:15 AM | #18 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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it's like he lurks just to insult me
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05-24-2014, 12:33 AM | #19 |
The Man of Tomorrow
Posts: 26,965
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act exactly like you do on the internet
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05-24-2014, 01:26 AM | #20 |
Starbucks addicted minion
Location: Billy Corgan Kazoo Revue
Posts: 6,629
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Make them laugh.
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05-24-2014, 01:34 AM | #21 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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i've always been able to do that
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05-24-2014, 01:53 AM | #22 |
Demi-God
Location: Chicago
Posts: 330
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WHAAA!!! Women don't instantly suck my dick!!! WHaa BUT THEY'RE SO HOTTT!!! I WANT THEM TO SUCK MY LITTLE PEE PEE!!!!
Oh, maybe if you weren't such a fat piece of shit that expected women to "see past your shitty fuck face" and give you a chance.... then maybe you could trick them into letting you have an orgasm in their presence. |
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05-24-2014, 02:27 AM | #23 |
Through Silver In Buds
Location: Centralia
Posts: 16,502
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I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks now who was a regular customer at my work. I'm leaving soon so I figured I should just take the shot... pulled the most cliche barista move ever and wrote my phone number on her coffee. I've never done that before and probably would never do it again but it worked out pretty fuckin good for me.
I dunno if that helps but I guess write your phone number on a stapler or something and then hand it to her? |
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05-24-2014, 02:36 AM | #24 | |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: California
Posts: 2,247
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Quote:
Anyways, yeah - even though I do have that aftershave, I rarely wear it. That said, it still makes me feel classy in a vintage way as all hell every now and again. |
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05-24-2014, 02:36 AM | #25 | |
Demi-God
Location: Chicago
Posts: 330
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Quote:
Right on muthafukka! |
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05-24-2014, 02:48 AM | #26 |
Minion of Satan
Location: "I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands..."
Posts: 7,765
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Don't do that. that's a terrible idea and i'm gonna assume Sonic Johnny is fairly good looking to have pulled that one of.
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05-24-2014, 03:04 AM | #27 |
Banned
Posts: 5,711
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sonic johnny looks like a malnourished lumberjack
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05-24-2014, 03:16 AM | #28 |
Minion of Satan
Location: "I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands..."
Posts: 7,765
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Oh. So what you're saying is he's probably lying?
Wait wait...lumberjack is sexy to women. |
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05-24-2014, 03:44 AM | #29 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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they just swing like that in austrailia guys
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05-24-2014, 03:47 AM | #30 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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i should be more worried about keeping my job than trying to play outside of my peer group
that's what i decided |
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