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Old 04-10-2018, 01:57 PM   #1531
FoolofaTook
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me too. i really don't fit in here.

orlando is ridiculously rich. my parents took (ANDALUSIA) me for a walk in winter park. the mansions there are like the ones in saudi arabia. and they have peacocks (ALCEST) just strolling about.

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:59 PM   #1532
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pretty sure i walked by this 'house'

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 02:15 PM   #1533
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yeah idk why the south has a reputation of sweethearts and good hospitality. lots of judgmental, snarky assholes ime and i've been to every southern state except south carolina and lived in the region for about 17 years. good riddance!
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i think a lot of it is fake, face saving "niceness"

but i just got here so what do i know
depends how you look at it IMO. there are many cultures where politeness and correct decorum are very important on the street or in public or whatever, but that doesn't necessarily mean on an individual basis people are any nicer than in places where no one looks at each other as they pass on the sidewalk.

in northeastern cities for instance people don't make eye contact and it's generally accepted that no one wants to be talked to. But if you walk down the street in Charleston or Atlanta, strangers will mostly say hello to you and smile. Of course, as soon as you are past they'll be like, "WELL GOD BLESS HER SOUL BUT MY LORD DID YOU SEE HER TATTOOS JESUS HAVE MERCY ON HER SOUL"

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 02:24 PM   #1534
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lord'amercy she's as crazy as a betsybug, blesserheart!

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 02:58 PM   #1535
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throw in the n word and that's the south in a nutshell

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 04:48 PM   #1536
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lol i just broke down crying in therapy cause i finally realized how much i hated myself, and distance myself from others cause i feel like i’m not good enough, and how that contributed to the absolute lack of personal relationships in my life. growing up with a foreign name and a weird voice in fucking Indiana ruins childhoods. i deeply admire people (this girl i have a crush on, Jimmy, etc) who have traits that i don’t have that i wish i had: jimmy being a confident badass on the kit//in life while i’m insecure. this girl being attractive and positive while i’m neither.

yay yay fun yay

this is the drunk thread right

Last edited by Ram27 : 04-10-2018 at 05:02 PM.

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 05:07 PM   #1537
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aw.

many people have far, far more and worse reasons to hate themselves. sooner or later you'll make peace with yourself.

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 05:16 PM   #1538
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lol i just broke down crying in therapy cause i finally realized how much i hated myself, and distance myself from others cause i feel like i’m not good enough, and how that contributed to the absolute lack of personal relationships in my life. growing up with a foreign name and a weird voice in fucking Indiana ruins childhoods. i deeply admire people (this girl i have a crush on, Jimmy, etc) who have traits that i don’t have that i wish i had: jimmy being a confident badass on the kit//in life while i’m insecure. this girl being attractive and positive while i’m neither.

yay yay fun yay

this is the drunk thread right
You're fine. I'm guessing you're in your early/mid twenties and what you just described is just your first bout with some existential issues that everybody goes through. Jimmy was a heroin addict and that girl probably has her own issues, you could basically divide anyone by their problems, nobody truly likes themselves too much unless they show narcissistic traits. It would be weird to see people actually saying shit like "I love myself" and/or "I am the person I always wanted to be", because in reality that shit is only on movie screens.

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 05:52 PM   #1539
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your faults give you personality

have you tried volunteering

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 06:11 PM   #1540
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puzzledmuzzle is right, rammy, we've all been there. it definitely sucks to feel so low. self confidence is rarely a natural thing. i think many people that seem extremely confident are just overcompensating as a coping mechanism. there is definitely peace to be found as you continue to accomplish things in life, but the rock star persona isn't real and most of the people that are idolized are broken puppets. and i know you know that you can't objectively evaluate anyone you're crushing on, lol. no one has a perfect life and it's impossible to know just how fucked up people are really feeling. it's cliche but the more you focus on yourself and your loved ones, and the older you get, things will definitely mellow out and you'll have a more real kind of confidence.

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 08:08 PM   #1541
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sounds like good progress in therapy. you did good work. A+

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 08:11 PM   #1542
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Singapore is nuts for Crazy Rich Asian wealth. Some people who live here, and others who just come to the casino, are just...unspeakably rich.

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 08:14 PM   #1543
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i wish i was rich. i would buy a tiger cub.

and a pound of weed.

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 08:18 PM   #1544
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puzzledmuzzle is bringing the real talk

all these little troll guys are growing up so fast, right before our eyes

 
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Old 04-10-2018, 08:26 PM   #1545
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ram27 View Post
lol i just broke down crying in therapy cause i finally realized how much i hated myself, and distance myself from others cause i feel like i’m not good enough, and how that contributed to the absolute lack of personal relationships in my life. growing up with a foreign name and a weird voice in fucking Indiana ruins childhoods. i deeply admire people (this girl i have a crush on, Jimmy, etc) who have traits that i don’t have that i wish i had: jimmy being a confident badass on the kit//in life while i’m insecure. this girl being attractive and positive while i’m neither.

yay yay fun yay

this is the drunk thread right
breaking down in therapy feels so terrible but then afterwards it's such a relief. until the next thing builds up and builds up until you can't take it anymore and break down again.

at least that how it happens to me.

take care of yourself, it's hard work. you're doing good. i have the lack of personal relationships, too. it sucks.

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 05:40 AM   #1546
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ram27 View Post
lol i just broke down crying in therapy cause i finally realized how much i hated myself, and distance myself from others cause i feel like i’m not good enough, and how that contributed to the absolute lack of personal relationships in my life. growing up with a foreign name and a weird voice in fucking Indiana ruins childhoods. i deeply admire people (this girl i have a crush on, Jimmy, etc) who have traits that i don’t have that i wish i had: jimmy being a confident badass on the kit//in life while i’m insecure. this girl being attractive and positive while i’m neither.

yay yay fun yay

this is the drunk thread right
your voice?

what the hell are you talking about man, that excerpt of you reading text about how rewarding pizza making is was hot shit!

you have this breathy, musky male voice that i remember noting for the better when i heard it.

relax dude. jimmy c didn't start playing jellybelly when he was sixyearsold.

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 08:07 AM   #1547
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having a foreign name is badass ram!!!

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 08:07 AM   #1548
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(unless it's somehting lame like stefanovic)

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 10:09 AM   #1549
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indiana isn't the most appreciative of places, though

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 10:10 AM   #1550
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i was always the token jew in the south and it was fucking lame. now my daughter will have to go through the same thing, but in an even smaller town. people r dumm

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 10:36 AM   #1551
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still, nw > south

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 11:57 AM   #1552
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the token jew in the south
my time is overdue, like a synagogue roof.

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 12:10 PM   #1553
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your voice?

what the hell are you talking about man, that excerpt of you reading text about how rewarding pizza making is was hot shit!

you have this breathy, musky male voice that i remember noting for the better when i heard it.

relax dude. jimmy c didn't start playing jellybelly when he was sixyearsold.
haha thanks

I know what you mean, and I'm not as self conscious about it anymore, but growing up being different like that made me damaged for life with regards to social interactions - generally being withdrawn, never being heard, always vaguely fearing speaking to others

So basically I'll always be horribly alone, and the thought of that makes getting through college impossible because of the depression. Which also makes me more depressed because the only other real source of positivity in my life was doing well in school

I know some people go through dark periods of being alone, and can recover, but that's been literally my whole life. But as a kid I could lie to myself thinking things were fine because I was living with my family and could talk to people in classes. I can't anymore and I'm permanently fucked.

woah that was really really dark sorry

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 12:52 PM   #1554
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aren't you still in college? and don't be sorry, life is dark, it's not your fault.

also it's better to be insecure than over-confident. you'll be ok ram, you are a good guy.

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 01:33 PM   #1555
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yeah, still in college. for me at least it's an incredibly dark place

thanks a lot man

and really, thanks to everyone on the boards for being so cool over the last year or so. i really truly appreciate it

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 01:36 PM   #1556
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aren't you still in college? and don't be sorry, life is dark, it's not your fault.

also it's better to be insecure than over-confident. you'll be ok ram, you are a good guy.
your dad's a good guy

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 03:52 PM   #1557
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i only had a handful of friends in college myself, ram. five, to be exact and some of those weren't the best ppl. and yeah, i was all broken up over a girl. i know it sucks. but things always change and that means things might get better.

have you considered getting a cat? i had a couple of kittens/cats during college (baloo and baghera heh) and they really helped me cope.

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 03:53 PM   #1558
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your dad's a good guy
YOUR DAD GIVES GOOD HEAD

SASKATCHEWAN

 
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Old 04-11-2018, 03:54 PM   #1559
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Old 04-11-2018, 07:10 PM   #1560
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i only had a handful of friends in college myself, ram. five, to be exact
Way to brag, asshole!

 
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