I Know What You Did Last Chat Thread

[myosis]

Originally Posted by myosis

my new girlfriend is turning 40 next week and she wants to spend that evening with me... she expressed wanting to go to a certain spa. i said i'm taking care of it but what i plan is to rent a room in a nice hotel that has a spa and a great restaurant... i'm just afraid, i.e. i know she'll complain that i overdid it. + it's not the same spa that she said is her favorite but going to that one spa would make it harder to arrange dinner and stuff on top and not feel pressed for time. i just think she should have a special night for this kind of birthday. + she's kind of living on a budget right now so it's a good excuse to take her out, which she won't let me do usually.

finally, i made a reservation at her favorite spa and found there is a brand new 4-star hotel that is 5 km from there, which i got a room at. i bought a bottle of Gosset and a few things to make a nice snack that we can eat in the room. it turned out to be mighty cold that day so we first went to get the room, as I didn't want stuff to freeze up in my car. I didn't know how to keep it a surprise, I said I had an errand to run but she was very puzzled when I took my huge leather bag out of the car. she only realized what was happening when the clerk asked me to confirm it was for a King bed. very happy though, also impressed that i thought of everything such as cutlery (which they ended up having in the room), contact lens stuff, champagne flutes and a plug for the bottle (so we can open it before going to the spa and finish it later with the meal). shower was fancy and we could see inside from the bedroom (!), which allowed me to take artsy pictures of her showering with her glass of champagne.

i didn't know there was free entry to the spa on your birthday, unfortunately i prepaid our access to ensure we could get in. could have saved a little there. still, we got free breakfast because they gave a 50$ credit for the in-house restaurant. i was very late for work.

[myosis]

really no privacy in that shower:
https://entourageresort.com/wp-conte...7/FFP_1060.jpg

[cork_soaker]

i once stayed at Citizen M in Paris, and the shower was essentially a glass enclosure in the main room

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/me...guest-room.jpg

i liked it

[myosis]

ahhh, Paris!

[FoolofaTook]

Hope you guys tipped housekeeping. or at least washed the pubes out.

ahhhh, shower pubes!

[myosis]

they tried to come in at 8 o'clock. is that standard?

[ilikeplanets]

just tell 'em to go away

[ilikeplanets]

feeding my daughter fruits is hilarious, she hates them so much! i figure she would love them because she would kick like crazy when i would eat them while i was pregnant with her....or maybe she hated them then too and was protesting. at least she likes vegetables!

[FoolofaTook]

Originally Posted by myosis

they tried to come in at 8 o'clock. is that standard?

I believe nine is when we were supposed to start tapping meekly and murmuring "housekeeping".

Hehe good times.

[qwerty sp]

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

feeding my daughter fruits is hilarious, she hates them so much! i figure she would love them because she would kick like crazy when i would eat them while i was pregnant with her....or maybe she hated them then too and was protesting. at least she likes vegetables!

Vegetables and not fruit? What a queer little urchin

[MyOneAndOnly]

Originally Posted by cork_soaker

this kind of upheaval is mind-boggling

i feel as though i'm stretched nearly to my limits with a new daughter (far from the actual truth, of course; it's just an emotional and physical extreme new to my experience). but it's put me in a state where it's as if anything else shifted or became imminently or obviously uncertain — be it job, relationship, living situation, etc, there would simply be no resources left with which to deal

i admire your fortitude

hang in there. I never had a kid. that's a different kind of stress.

i don't know about fortitude, though. it was keep living or kill myself. last year was really really bad. I was suicidal for months. I had planned to kill myself and prepped for it.

And it's not over. I'm in the same house with my soon to be ex until the end of next week. my last day of work is tomorrow. I have to go to a completely new company and hope to gawd that my new insurance covers my meds and that I can finaly come out and stop dressing like a guy at work






.

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by qwerty sp

Vegetables and not fruit? What a queer little urchin

i know, she's quite funny! even her doctor warned me to give her veggies first because once she had the fruit she would hold out for it. lol WRONG

there's also meat baby food but i reallllly don't want to give her that, it looks like cat food. her formula has enough nutrients in it that i don't *have* to give it to her, and can just feed her regular proteins when she has enough teeth.

she's really starting to get a personality now, which is soooo much fun to be a part of.

[ilikeplanets]

oh and she responds to her name which is heart-meltingly adorable

[yo soy el mejor]

i know what you mean. i want to laugh and cry every time karl does it.

[FoolofaTook]

Aphelion just accepted my Mormon Zombie Apocalypse. Dude said it was 'fun'.

LORD OF THIS WORLD EVIL POSSESSOR

[FoolofaTook]

Hello, Thanks for your submission! This story is a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to putting it in our February issue! However, if you could send me a short bio to put up with it I’d appreciate it. It doesn’t have to be too long, just 3 or 4 sentences, although it can be longer if you like, and I’d need it preferably by this Friday.


FUCK YES

[run2pee]

Congrats, bitchin

[run2pee]

Look like u got some stiff competition at aphelion tho fam:

The Eye in The Sky

by Jake Cosmos Aller

The eye in the sky
Knows all, sees all
Hears all, understands all
The eye in the sky
Watches over us
Everything we do
Is monitored, controlled
Under surveillance
There is no privacy
There is no private space
The eye in the sky
Knows all
Everything we do
Everything we see
Everything we think
Recorded by the unseeing
Uncaring eyes
The cameras, the videos
The computers that control
Our lives

Ever watchful
Ever diligent
Nothing escapes
The cold, calculating glares
Freedom is nothing
But an illusion
To the free man
There is no freedom
Except in one’s inner mind
Only there can one escape
The eyes in the sky
No one monitors our thoughts
Except our own thought police
The rest of the world
Is controlled, monitored
Under constant surveillance
The eyes in the sky
The camera in the sky
Watches over us
All the time
All the time
24/7
Never stopping
Never on strike
Never on break
All day long
All night long
24/7
Total control
The eye in the sky
Is the same
As the eye
In the dollar bill
All the same
All the same
Watching us
No one can escape
Its baleful glances
No one is free
Aye the eye
In the sky
Is always upon you
As you become
A mere number
In the cosmic game
Of life
Up behind
The eye in the sky
Big Brother is watching
You and me
And big sister too
And crazy Uncle Tom
And wild auntie Em
God, and the Devil
Rama, Ganesh, Laxmi
The Buddha bar gang
Jesus is there as well
Mary as well
And you must be knowing this
That even Saint Nick,
Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny
And Father Time himself
Are there Zeus and the Jupiter gang
And all the demons and spirits
And the big spirit
And Brahma, Gabriel, Allah
And the CIA, Mafia, KGB
And spies and counter spies All are Watching us
The tooth fairy is there too
She gets her 10 percent
All the same
Watching us
Forever and ever
But the eye
In the sky
Does not care
Does not notice
What we think or feel
The eye
Watches us
All the time
Recording our movements
And reporting it to its masters
Its job is to watch
Us
You and me
And the billions of others
On this asylum called Earth
The question came to mind
That has no answer
Who is the eye in the sky?
Is it God?
Is it the devil?
Only time will tell
The difference
The eye in the sky
Smiles at us
And watches and watches
And watches
All the time
© 2017 Jake Cosmos Aller
John (“Jake”) Cosmos Aller is a novelist, poet, and former Foreign Service officer having served 27 years with the U.S. State Department in ten countries - Antigua, Barbados, *******a, Grenada, Korea, India, St Kitts, St Lucia, St Vincent, Spain, and Thailand, and traveled to 45 countries during his career. Jake has been an aspiring novelist for several years and has completed four novels, ("Giant Nazi Spiders", “The Great Divorce”, “Jurassic Cruise", and “Ft. Ashland”), and is pursuing publication. He has been writing poetry and fiction all his life and has published his poetry fiction in over 25 literary journals. Jake grew up in Berkeley, California

[run2pee]

I wonder if Jake Cosmos Aller knows David Avocado Wolfe

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

Hello, Thanks for your submission! This story is a lot of fun and I’m looking forward to putting it in our February issue! However, if you could send me a short bio to put up with it I’d appreciate it. It doesn’t have to be too long, just 3 or 4 sentences, although it can be longer if you like, and I’d need it preferably by this Friday.


FUCK YES

congrats

"Jonny S. is a lifelong servant of Beezelbub, and dedicates all of his writings to the God of the Earth. He was born in [wherever] and has traveled to [however many] countries in order to spread the prophecy of Beezelbub through his prose. He also enjoys carbohydrates and is a champion shoe thrower."

[cork_soaker]

Originally Posted by Run To Me

I wonder if Jake Cosmos Aller knows David Avocado Wolfe

or Jeff Purple

[reprise85]

John (“Jake”) Cosmos Aller is a novelist, poet, and former Foreign Service officer having served 27 years with the U.S. State Department in ten countries - Antigua, Barbados, *******a, Grenada, Korea, India, St Kitts, St Lucia, St Vincent, Spain, and Thailand, and traveled to 45 countries during his career. Jake has been an aspiring novelist for several years and has completed four novels, ("Giant Nazi Spiders", “The Great Divorce”, “Jurassic Cruise", and “Ft. Ashland”), and is pursuing publication. He has been writing poetry and fiction all his life and has published his poetry fiction in over 25 literary journals. Jake grew up in Berkeley, California

lol@ jurassic cruise and giant nazi spiders

[teh b0lly!!1]

http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/P...J6gUEhptkm.jpg

[teh b0lly!!1]

https://img.discogs.com/EPtXtZYkgHcr...-4552.jpeg.jpg

[teh b0lly!!1]

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....14,317_AL_.jpg

[buzzard]

Giant Nazi Spiders was a real page-turner.

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by myosis

really no privacy in that shower:
https://entourageresort.com/wp-conte...7/FFP_1060.jpg

I'm straining but I can't see your girlfriend.

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by buzzard

Giant Nazi Spiders was a real page-turner.

I did nazi that ending coming.

[FoolofaTook]

This is the first step on the path to the stars.

Your just jealous.

[FoolofaTook]

Originally Posted by reprise85

congrats

"Jonny S. is a lifelong servant of Beezelbub, and dedicates all of his writings to the God of the Earth. He was born in [wherever] and has traveled to [however many] countries in order to spread the prophecy of Beezelbub through his prose. He also enjoys carbohydrates and is a champion shoe thrower."

No mention of hirsute glory?