the new american gladiators ranked from least awesome to totally most awesome

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 04:51 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/fury.jpg

Fury takes ferocity to a whole new level. At 5-feet, 8-inches, she is a maelstrom of raw aggression and the epitome of the female gladiator. Equally balanced in speed and strength... Hell hath no fury like, Fury. Period.

Her description is gay and stupid and she'll be working at the local Fashion Bug in 2 years.

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...ge/militia.jpg

The 6-foot, 3-inch, 220-pound Gladiator targets his opponents with tactical precision. With an impressive arsenal of skills at his disposal, he is well equipped for any operation and will do anything to complete his objective. Once Militia has you in his sights, you'd better have a plan, or the game is over.

When I think of Militias I think of fat guys in Idaho with handlebar mustaches writing letters to the unabomber and eating baked beans out of cans. NEXT!

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 04:53 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/siren.jpg

Consider yourself warned when she is heard in Gladiator Arena. Siren is a force to be reckoned with who will go off at the slightest provocation! Pay close attention to her every move, or siren will wail... on you!

When I think of American Gladiators I don't think of street walking hoors who's facial color is 20 times lighter than their body. However, coming out of nowhere and wailing on somebody is pretty cool.

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 04:54 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato.../large/toa.jpg

With his tribal garb and distinctive tattoos, he may conjure up images of an island paradise, but facing him in battle is pure hell. Drawing on the power of his ancestors, Toa has the strength of a thousand warriors flowing through his veins, and he will never, ever show mercy.

His face kinda looks like waltermcphillip's avatar!

Andy / · 12-14-2007, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenguy2000

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato.../large/toa.jpg

This dude is The Rock's cousin.

suncrashesdown · 12-14-2007, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenguy2000

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato.../large/toa.jpg

Dude looks like Dave Navarro on steroids

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 04:56 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/titan.jpg

With nearly godlike strength and skill, he is the ultimate warrior. Able to physically dominate foes with his impressive physique, he is equally adept at mind games and will attempt to mentally defeat opponents before the battle even begins. Titan is a double threat who will find a way to win... one way or another.

More like "Titan"-ic douchebag. He looks like one of the bad guys from a shitty 80's high school comedy.

Mariner · 12-14-2007, 09:10 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/titan.jpg

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 05:00 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...ge/stealth.jpg

She flies under the radar for a swift and unexpected attack, and any adversary caught unaware will get a swift lesson in shock and awe. Immensely strong and cool under pressure, Stealth executes her favorite move -- a quick counter-attack that you never see coming.

Her stealthiest feature is that penis she has tucked between her legs.

threetwooneZERO · 12-14-2007, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenguy2000

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...ge/stealth.jpg

She flies under the radar for a swift and unexpected attack, and any adversary caught unaware will get a swift lesson in shock and awe. Immensely strong and cool under pressure, Stealth executes her favorite move -- a quick counter-attack that you never see coming.

Her stealthiest feature is that penis she has tucked between her legs.

Awesome,

Jada Pinkett Smith finally has a job.

Mayfuck · 12-14-2007, 05:03 PM

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 05:04 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/crush.jpg

Don't let the winsome smile fool you... Crush earned her well-deserved moniker by smashing opponents into submission. Despite her girl-next-door looks, she's a powerful, fierce opponent who has no problem handling the women competitors, and then going back to breaking men's hearts.

And by "breaking men's hearts" we mean perpetuating hurtful gender based stereotypes. However, she's named "Crush" because she "smashes" opponents. Tricky!

Nimrod's Son · 12-14-2007, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenguy2000

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/crush.jpg

Don't let the winsome smile fool you... Crush earned her well-deserved moniker by smashing opponents into submission. Despite her girl-next-door looks, she's a powerful, fierce opponent who has no problem handling the women competitors, and then going back to breaking men's hearts.

And by "breaking men's hearts" we mean perpetuating hurtful gender based stereotypes. However, she's named "Crush" because she "smashes" opponents. Tricky!

damn i would love to spend a drunken weekend in a hotel room with her

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 05:07 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/venom.jpg

She has shed her skin to become one of the most feared warriors in Gladiator Arena. She stalks her prey with caution and strikes when it is least expected. Any opponent that faces her had better come prepared because there is no known antidote for Venom, who is lethal in any dose.

Damn Venom, you look incredulous, nay, disgusted by my very presence. And I like it. Please hit the fuck out of me with a big fat oversized q-tip.

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 05:10 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...ge/justice.jpg

Tipping the scales at almost 300 pounds of power and with 20-inch guns at his disposal, Justice does indeed have a very long arm, and he'll pursue any adversary to the ends of the earth to prove it. Ask any of his opponents and they'll tell you that sometimes Justice hurts, and the scales always tip in his favor.

He has a mohawk and black dudes with mohawks are cool. Also, they should have a game where he is blindfolded and is still able to beat the fuck out of the players and random audience members called "Blind Justice" or something like that.

Mariner · 12-14-2007, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenguy2000

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...ge/justice.jpg

He has a mohawk and black dudes with mohawks are cool.

it's like

a frohawk

i'm speechless

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 05:14 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...rge/mayhem.jpg

A storm of smoldering intensity and lightning-quick reflexes, Mayhem unleashes waves of devastation through the ranks of even the most battle-hardened opponents.

A man's groin combines with perky nips and girly hair, pure Mayhem! The gender-neutral description emphasizes the insanity.

Nimrod's Son · 12-14-2007, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenguy2000

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...rge/mayhem.jpg

A storm of smoldering intensity and lightning-quick reflexes, Mayhem unleashes waves of devastation through the ranks of even the most battle-hardened opponents.

A man's groin combines with perky nips and girly hair, pure Mayhem! The gender-neutral description emphasizes the insanity.

Tracy Morgan is on American Gladiators?

Andy / · 12-14-2007, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenguy2000

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...rge/mayhem.jpg

Wait, this is a chick?

Nimrod's Son · 12-14-2007, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AndySlash

Wait, this is a chick?

No, Tracy is a man's name too

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 05:16 PM

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/wolf.jpg
http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/wolf.jpg
http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/wolf.jpg
http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/wolf.jpg
When you enter Gladiator Arena keep an eye out for Wolf! Able to smell fear and always going for the jugular, Wolf is 230-pounds of primal fury. He will ferociously defend his turf... and thrives on the opportunity to sink his teeth into any challenge.

GlasgowKiss · 12-14-2007, 05:26 PM

http://www.nspccknockout.fsnet.co.uk/images/wolf1.gif

Fonzie · 04-10-2008, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlasgowKiss

http://www.nspccknockout.fsnet.co.uk/images/wolf1.gif

yesss! This wolf would have had that other wolf for breakfast!

sppunk · 12-14-2007, 05:29 PM

The trailer is awesome.

flavin · 12-14-2007, 05:36 PM

I want Wolf to be the gladiator in every challenge.

topleybird · 12-14-2007, 06:13 PM

You left out

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...rge/hellga.jpg
HELLGA

When she stomps into Gladiator Arena, most sensible opponents run for cover rather than risk a Viking funeral. She may have left her horned helmet on the boat, but she hits with the force of Thor's hammer, and quickly sends opponents straight to Valhalla.

Can't you just picture this mammoth crushing kittens in weird fetish videos

Actually I'm 100% positive at least one of these women has posed nude, possibly Mayhem

ravenguy2000 · 12-14-2007, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by topleybird

You left out

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...rge/hellga.jpg
HELLGA

When she stomps into Gladiator Arena, most sensible opponents run for cover rather than risk a Viking funeral. She may have left her horned helmet on the boat, but she hits with the force of Thor's hammer, and quickly sends opponents straight to Valhalla.

Can't you just picture this mammoth crushing kittens in weird fetish videos

Actually I'm 100% positive at least one of these women has posed nude, possibly Mayhem

SHIT SHE WAS GOING TO BE MY SECOND FAVORITE ONE

THREAD RUINED

duovamp · 12-14-2007, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by topleybird

She may have left her horned helmet on the boat, but she hits with the force of Thor's hammer, and quickly sends opponents straight to Valhalla.

*gasp*

DeviousJ · 12-15-2007, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by topleybird

You left out

http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...rge/hellga.jpg
HELLGA

When she stomps into Gladiator Arena, most sensible opponents run for cover rather than risk a Viking funeral. She may have left her horned helmet on the boat, but she hits with the force of Thor's hammer, and quickly sends opponents straight to Valhalla.

Can't you just picture this mammoth crushing kittens in weird fetish videos

Actually I'm 100% positive at least one of these women has posed nude, possibly Mayhem

Wow, possibly the first time I've seen that hairstyle work

suncrashesdown · 12-14-2007, 07:44 PM

i am going to watch the shit out of this show

Mayfuck · 12-14-2007, 07:54 PM

yeah i kinda wouldn't mind having my ass kicked by crush actually

12-14-2007, 04:51 PM	#1
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	the new american gladiators ranked from least awesome to totally most awesome http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/fury.jpg Fury takes ferocity to a whole new level. At 5-feet, 8-inches, she is a maelstrom of raw aggression and the epitome of the female gladiator. Equally balanced in speed and strength... Hell hath no fury like, Fury. Period. Her description is gay and stupid and she'll be working at the local Fashion Bug in 2 years. http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...ge/militia.jpg The 6-foot, 3-inch, 220-pound Gladiator targets his opponents with tactical precision. With an impressive arsenal of skills at his disposal, he is well equipped for any operation and will do anything to complete his objective. Once Militia has you in his sights, you'd better have a plan, or the game is over. When I think of Militias I think of fat guys in Idaho with handlebar mustaches writing letters to the unabomber and eating baked beans out of cans. NEXT!

12-14-2007, 05:03 PM	#10
Mayfuck Banned Location: i'm from japan also hollywood Posts: 57,805	more

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12-14-2007, 04:53 PM	#2
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/siren.jpg Consider yourself warned when she is heard in Gladiator Arena. Siren is a force to be reckoned with who will go off at the slightest provocation! Pay close attention to her every move, or siren will wail... on you! When I think of American Gladiators I don't think of street walking hoors who's facial color is 20 times lighter than their body. However, coming out of nowhere and wailing on somebody is pretty cool.

12-14-2007, 04:54 PM	#3
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato.../large/toa.jpg With his tribal garb and distinctive tattoos, he may conjure up images of an island paradise, but facing him in battle is pure hell. Drawing on the power of his ancestors, Toa has the strength of a thousand warriors flowing through his veins, and he will never, ever show mercy. His face kinda looks like waltermcphillip's avatar!

12-14-2007, 04:56 PM	#6
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/titan.jpg With nearly godlike strength and skill, he is the ultimate warrior. Able to physically dominate foes with his impressive physique, he is equally adept at mind games and will attempt to mentally defeat opponents before the battle even begins. Titan is a double threat who will find a way to win... one way or another. More like "Titan"-ic douchebag. He looks like one of the bad guys from a shitty 80's high school comedy.

12-14-2007, 09:10 PM	#7
Mariner OB-GYN Kenobi Location: the sea Posts: 17,020	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/titan.jpg

12-14-2007, 05:00 PM	#8
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...ge/stealth.jpg She flies under the radar for a swift and unexpected attack, and any adversary caught unaware will get a swift lesson in shock and awe. Immensely strong and cool under pressure, Stealth executes her favorite move -- a quick counter-attack that you never see coming. Her stealthiest feature is that penis she has tucked between her legs.

12-14-2007, 05:04 PM	#11
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/crush.jpg Don't let the winsome smile fool you... Crush earned her well-deserved moniker by smashing opponents into submission. Despite her girl-next-door looks, she's a powerful, fierce opponent who has no problem handling the women competitors, and then going back to breaking men's hearts. And by "breaking men's hearts" we mean perpetuating hurtful gender based stereotypes. However, she's named "Crush" because she "smashes" opponents. Tricky!

12-14-2007, 05:07 PM	#13
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...arge/venom.jpg She has shed her skin to become one of the most feared warriors in Gladiator Arena. She stalks her prey with caution and strikes when it is least expected. Any opponent that faces her had better come prepared because there is no known antidote for Venom, who is lethal in any dose. Damn Venom, you look incredulous, nay, disgusted by my very presence. And I like it. Please hit the fuck out of me with a big fat oversized q-tip.

12-14-2007, 05:10 PM	#14
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...ge/justice.jpg Tipping the scales at almost 300 pounds of power and with 20-inch guns at his disposal, Justice does indeed have a very long arm, and he'll pursue any adversary to the ends of the earth to prove it. Ask any of his opponents and they'll tell you that sometimes Justice hurts, and the scales always tip in his favor. He has a mohawk and black dudes with mohawks are cool. Also, they should have a game where he is blindfolded and is still able to beat the fuck out of the players and random audience members called "Blind Justice" or something like that.

12-14-2007, 05:14 PM	#16
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...rge/mayhem.jpg A storm of smoldering intensity and lightning-quick reflexes, Mayhem unleashes waves of devastation through the ranks of even the most battle-hardened opponents. A man's groin combines with perky nips and girly hair, pure Mayhem! The gender-neutral description emphasizes the insanity.

12-14-2007, 05:16 PM	#20
ravenguy2000 NO FATS Location: NO FEMS Posts: 29,003	http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/wolf.jpg http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/wolf.jpg http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/wolf.jpg http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...large/wolf.jpg When you enter Gladiator Arena keep an eye out for Wolf! Able to smell fear and always going for the jugular, Wolf is 230-pounds of primal fury. He will ferociously defend his turf... and thrives on the opportunity to sink his teeth into any challenge.

12-14-2007, 05:26 PM	#21
GlasgowKiss Quaid Hates You Location: Hollywood Posts: 14,155	http://www.nspccknockout.fsnet.co.uk/images/wolf1.gif

12-14-2007, 05:29 PM	#23
sppunk Netphoria's George Will Location: Fenway Park Posts: 37,109	The trailer is awesome.

12-14-2007, 05:36 PM	#24
flavin Ownz Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 955	I want Wolf to be the gladiator in every challenge.

12-14-2007, 06:13 PM	#25
topleybird Janis Jopleybird Location: Let me see you do the booty hop. And now make the booty stop. Now drop, and do the booty wop. Posts: 6,568	You left out http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiato...rge/hellga.jpg HELLGA When she stomps into Gladiator Arena, most sensible opponents run for cover rather than risk a Viking funeral. She may have left her horned helmet on the boat, but she hits with the force of Thor's hammer, and quickly sends opponents straight to Valhalla. Can't you just picture this mammoth crushing kittens in weird fetish videos Actually I'm 100% positive at least one of these women has posed nude, possibly Mayhem

12-14-2007, 07:44 PM	#29
suncrashesdown Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 1,785	i am going to watch the shit out of this show

12-14-2007, 07:54 PM	#30
Mayfuck Banned Location: i'm from japan also hollywood Posts: 57,805	yeah i kinda wouldn't mind having my ass kicked by crush actually