texts from last night

wounded · 07-11-2009, 07:37 PM

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com

i'm bored, some of the shit on there has to be fake, but there are still some gems. post funny ones or maybe some gems from your area code

(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

(907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
(773): Responsible fail?

(919): Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?

(501): My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.

(404): Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
(706): Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.

mxzombie · 07-11-2009, 07:41 PM

(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
(904): Both

TheMilstead · 07-11-2009, 07:56 PM

How is this different from bash.org?

EDIT: Oh, I see. They're not mostly written by computer nerds.

wounded · 07-11-2009, 08:02 PM

(239): you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys

TheMilstead · 07-11-2009, 08:15 PM

(831): theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

(847): i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy

bardy · 07-11-2009, 08:25 PM

I dont "Get" this website. don't you have to type your own texts in there? isnt it all just made up?

sppunk · 07-11-2009, 08:26 PM

(847): So I'm banging this nun...
(314): Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already..

sppunk · 07-11-2009, 08:26 PM

(703): fucking a dude
(703): i mean: fucking a, dude
(703): wow, that comma made all the difference there

bardy · 07-11-2009, 08:27 PM

I dont know they all just sound like a bunch of drunk douchebag comments to me

wounded · 07-11-2009, 08:34 PM

oh yeah i'm sure a lot are made up, or not texts and were actually conversations

as for the texts--yeah you enter your own, but i think it would be more like a person sends you a text, you think it's funny so you decide to enter it in. not i send a text, i think it's funny, i enter it in

but yeah i'm sure a lot are fake. same with FML: Your everyday life stories

(908): Are you okay?
(508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

exactlythesame · 07-11-2009, 11:02 PM

(610): So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better

(215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
(610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

bardy · 07-12-2009, 02:46 AM

(+44): Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

D. · 07-12-2009, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exactlythesame

(215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
(610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

regardless of fake or real, this is pretty funny.

Sarcastic Smile · 07-12-2009, 05:20 AM

I should post the texts from the day after i lost my hubcap

Sarcastic Smile · 07-12-2009, 05:26 AM

Honestly some of this shit you just can't make up

(870): These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

(559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

maoi · 07-12-2009, 05:32 AM

rum and doritos sounds good right now

YSEM · 07-12-2009, 06:02 AM

yummers. :/

ohnoitsbonnie · 07-12-2009, 09:27 AM

(908): his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Replies (46) Good Night (323) Bad Night (2008) More from 908
(917): yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Replies (132) Good Night (559) Bad Night (2057) More from 917
(908): there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Replies (8) Good Night (315) Bad Night (1281) More from 908
(908): there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Replies (62) Good Night (2995) Bad Night (194) More from 908
(908): I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Replies (31) Good Night (177) Bad Night (2815) More from 908
(908): i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Replies (50) Good Night (2278) Bad Night (461) More from 908
(908): Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Replies (36) Good Night (274) Bad Night (1157) More from 908
(908): Are you okay?
(508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Replies (22) Good Night (2036) Bad Night (191) More from 908,508
(908): im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Replies (8) Good Night (54) Bad Night (1433) More from 908
(908): How wet are you?
(1-908): Ever heard of a U-boat?
Replies (22) Good Night (2209) Bad Night (79) More from 908,1-908
(908): do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Replies (229) Good Night (263) Bad Night (4388) More from 908
(908): no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Replies (26) Good Night (2412) Bad Night (341) More from 908
(908): Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Replies (25) Good Night (93) Bad Night (1748) More from 908
(908): so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Replies (12) Good Night (220) Bad Night (1760) More from 908
(908): Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Replies (29) Good Night (1775) Bad Night (132) More from 908

07-11-2009, 07:37 PM	#1
wounded Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 3,773	texts from last night http://www.textsfromlastnight.com i'm bored, some of the shit on there has to be fake, but there are still some gems. post funny ones or maybe some gems from your area code (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. (907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? (919): Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days? (501): My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship. (404): Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me. (706): Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.

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07-11-2009, 07:41 PM	#2
mxzombie Braindead Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green. Posts: 15,724	(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you? (904): Both

07-11-2009, 07:56 PM	#3
TheMilstead Minion of Satan Location: Damn fine cup of coffee. Posts: 5,520	How is this different from bash.org? EDIT: Oh, I see. They're not mostly written by computer nerds.

07-11-2009, 08:02 PM	#4
wounded Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 3,773	(239): you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys

07-11-2009, 08:15 PM	#5
TheMilstead Minion of Satan Location: Damn fine cup of coffee. Posts: 5,520	(831): theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it (847): i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy

07-11-2009, 08:25 PM	#6
bardy Immortal Location: helllllloooooo!! Posts: 20,823	I dont "Get" this website. don't you have to type your own texts in there? isnt it all just made up?

07-11-2009, 08:26 PM	#7
sppunk Netphoria's George Will Location: Fenway Park Posts: 37,109	(847): So I'm banging this nun... (314): Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already..

07-11-2009, 08:27 PM	#9
bardy Immortal Location: helllllloooooo!! Posts: 20,823	I dont know they all just sound like a bunch of drunk douchebag comments to me

07-11-2009, 08:34 PM	#10
wounded Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 3,773	oh yeah i'm sure a lot are made up, or not texts and were actually conversations as for the texts--yeah you enter your own, but i think it would be more like a person sends you a text, you think it's funny so you decide to enter it in. not i send a text, i think it's funny, i enter it in but yeah i'm sure a lot are fake. same with FML: Your everyday life stories (908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

07-11-2009, 11:02 PM	#11
exactlythesame Minion of Satan Location: I thought what I'd do is I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes Posts: 7,676	(610): So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better (215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk. (610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

07-12-2009, 02:46 AM	#12
bardy Immortal Location: helllllloooooo!! Posts: 20,823	(+44): Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

07-12-2009, 05:20 AM	#14
Sarcastic Smile Amish Rake Fighter Location: I fuck in my spare time, this is what I do at work you dumb bitch.-esty Posts: 3,670	I should post the texts from the day after i lost my hubcap

07-12-2009, 05:26 AM	#15
Sarcastic Smile Amish Rake Fighter Location: I fuck in my spare time, this is what I do at work you dumb bitch.-esty Posts: 3,670	Honestly some of this shit you just can't make up (870): These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American. (559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

07-12-2009, 05:32 AM	#16
maoi Apocalyptic Poster Location: l'isle joyeuse Posts: 2,656	rum and doritos sounds good right now

07-12-2009, 06:02 AM	#17
YSEM Apocalyptic Poster Posts: 2,271	yummers. :/

07-12-2009, 09:27 AM	#18
ohnoitsbonnie Banned Location: somerville, nj Posts: 23,382	(908): his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count Replies (46) Good Night (323) Bad Night (2008) More from 908 (917): yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute. Replies (132) Good Night (559) Bad Night (2057) More from 917 (908): there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel" Replies (8) Good Night (315) Bad Night (1281) More from 908 (908): there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted. Replies (62) Good Night (2995) Bad Night (194) More from 908 (908): I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me. Replies (31) Good Night (177) Bad Night (2815) More from 908 (908): i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits" Replies (50) Good Night (2278) Bad Night (461) More from 908 (908): Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog. Replies (36) Good Night (274) Bad Night (1157) More from 908 (908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. Replies (22) Good Night (2036) Bad Night (191) More from 908,508 (908): im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me. Replies (8) Good Night (54) Bad Night (1433) More from 908 (908): How wet are you? (1-908): Ever heard of a U-boat? Replies (22) Good Night (2209) Bad Night (79) More from 908,1-908 (908): do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card? Replies (229) Good Night (263) Bad Night (4388) More from 908 (908): no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request Replies (26) Good Night (2412) Bad Night (341) More from 908 (908): Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING. Replies (25) Good Night (93) Bad Night (1748) More from 908 (908): so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy. Replies (12) Good Night (220) Bad Night (1760) More from 908 (908): Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings" Replies (29) Good Night (1775) Bad Night (132) More from 908