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Old 09-28-2017, 10:35 AM   #3721
vixnix
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Originally Posted by Poots View Post
This is a really good book. You can be at 8 hours sleeping (at night) by week 6 or 7, no lie.

https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby.../dp/1932740139
You gotta do what works, so if this works and you and your baby are both happy then that's awesome.

But there are a lot of failed Babywise parents out there because babies are all different and some just don't ever "take" to sleep schedules. There are also a lot of parents who hated the more AP style that suited me and found great guidance in Babywise. I think there is a perception that they are a Christian and believe in Original Sin and that babies are born sinful and will manipulate their parents unless the parents are firm in their leadership of the family. Which some people find really helpful and some people find toxic and some people just find unhelpful.

It was never super important to me to get long stretches of sleep - I was just desperate to stay laying down because getting up in the middle of the night every night is basically death. I breastfed in bed and co-slept in the end, which worked really well for us. I know some mamas who would make enough bottles for the night and keep a warmer by the bed so they could fix a bottle without having to get up and stumble around the kitchen.

It sounds lazy but people don't understand the extreme exhaustion that new parents (and usually, particularly mothers) go through. Nobody can explain the sleep deprivation to you so that you understand, eh. The relentless, day-after-day exhaustion.

Just get through this stage any way you can. Forget about rules and trust your instincts. So far your instincts led you to give up drugs, put yourself in a safe space, and care for her so that she is thriving and growing. You can do this and you know her best right now. It's slowly getting a bit better each day no matter what you do - just keep hangin' in there. You're making great choices for her and doing a great job.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 10:38 AM   #3722
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Also, I am currently in buzzard's favourite city right now.


 
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Old 09-28-2017, 10:41 AM   #3723
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Sorry for my motherhood rambles ilp. I don't mean to preach because I hate that. I just hated the feeling of posting about motherhood and being hated on or ridiculed or questioned so I try to throw some different feedback out there for other mothers.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 10:50 AM   #3724
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I have tried co sleeping and she loves it. But god the doctors hate it and tbh i cant sleep with her on me, she is very warm and moves a lot. I let her lay on me anyway just to get rest, if not sleep. But it's improving, slowly but surely. And thank you so much for the encouragement, people who haven't been a mom in particular don't know how extremely isolating it can be. Which sounds weird considering I have another person literally attached to me like 18 hours + a day.

And Poots, I'll check it out, never heard of it. Somehow I don't think my little one will be sleeping 8 hours at a stretch yet but it can't hurt to read something, right? If it requires me being very authoritarian I'm screwed though, because I'm not.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 10:54 AM   #3725
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Sorry for my motherhood rambles ilp. I don't mean to preach because I hate that. I just hated the feeling of posting about motherhood and being hated on or ridiculed or questioned so I try to throw some different feedback out there for other mothers.
keep it up, it sucks when no one even blinks when i post about it

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 11:05 AM   #3726
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cosleeping was a godsend. the fog lifted; behind it was the warm embrace of real life.

working on daytime nap routines has been very helpful, as well -- watching for sleepytime cues and beginning the sleepytime routine at the merest hint of them, lest the baby get overtired (which it is want to do, and how!)

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 11:08 AM   #3727
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fwiw we're at 8 weeks of postpartum life

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 11:08 AM   #3728
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well, i'm not

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 11:20 AM   #3729
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Be careful ILP. I wouldn't trust this "Cork Soaker" fellah (if that really is his name which I highly doubt). I hear he was involved with the Peace Corps.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 11:23 AM   #3730
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Guys I just had breakfast (Mexican Omlette!!) with my college prof. She was so kind to me. Now I get to go back to my alma mater and make peace (on Monday). Also she kept mentioning Monique. She graduated a year after me, had a crush on me (wtf) has a phd in archaeology and just got abandoned by this one worthless fuckhead of a dickhole.
She just moved back to Walla Walla.


 
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Old 09-28-2017, 11:43 AM   #3731
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Some weird lady told me to put lavender oil on my baby's feet to calm her down at night. Snake oil?
personally i would avoid using essential oils with a newborn.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 11:50 AM   #3732
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personally I would avoid using essential oils with YOUR MOTHER

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:06 PM   #3733
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this fucker almost just crashed into my car. He was in the right turn only lane at a red light and I was in the lane to the left of him. it was pretty obviously a right turn only, there are directional arrows on the pavement and hanging in the intersection. but when the light turned green, he drove straight like directly across the line into my lane so I start hammering on my horn and waving my hand at him because he's fucking coming right over at me and there is traffic to MY left so I can't even swerve away. He just doesn't stop, like he continues move directly towards my car, and he is honking and screaming at ME. I just kept yelling, "WRONG LANE WRONG LANE" and he is like losing his fucking mind screaming and cursing at me despite the fact that he has obviously just fucked up big time and I did nothing. I hit my accelerator and veered past him narrowly missing him since it seemed like he was just prepared to crash into my car to get into my lane. I get my speed up and start to pull away and he comes roaring up screaming and cursing out his window again. Guy is maybe 18-20 with a man bun and I also noticed he had at least four little kids in his backseat. I held my phone up and pretended to video him (I couldn't actually unlock the phone while all this was going on) and then he speedily made the next right to get away from me.

seriously what the god damn fuck is wrong with people. was this person a fucking insane asshole or was he honestly just so stupid he didn't realize what he was doing. I fucking hate people

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:22 PM   #3734
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Yeah, so I was just driving with my four kids in the car and while I'll admit my man-bun may have been tied too tightly this morning, I had this kid completely FREAK OUT at me for trying to merge with traffic. I'm pretty sure he was playing with his phone the whole time, as he had it up in front of his face while I was trying to merge. I reported him to the cops. Can't have people like that on the road.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:24 PM   #3735
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In all seriousness, if I'm understanding the story correctly, wouldn't it have been better, easier and less stressful for all involved if you just stepped on the brakes for a second and let him in, pride/rules be damned?

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:24 PM   #3736
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After all, there is such a thing as stupid people and they are definitely on the road. Sometimes we have to make concessions to avoid collision. It's better than the alternative.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:36 PM   #3737
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In all seriousness, if I'm understanding the story correctly, wouldn't it have been better, easier and less stressful for all involved if you just stepped on the brakes for a second and let him in, pride/rules be damned?
No. The safest/only thing I could have done was to try and speed past him. Hitting my breaks would have likely resulted in me getting rear-ended.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:48 PM   #3738
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No. The safest/only thing I could have done was to try and speed past him. Hitting my breaks would have likely resulted in me getting rear-ended.
Only if the person behind you was tailgating or not paying attention, in which case, it would've been their fault regardless.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:49 PM   #3739
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Thing is, you Death Proofed the fucker, but that most certainly was NOT the safest option, especially with kids in the car. And now this fucker drove off, completely enraged with said kids in the car. Not great conditions to be driving under.

Much as it sucks, it's usually best to just give the dickhead the right of way.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:49 PM   #3740
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Fuck, we should have a poll.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:51 PM   #3741
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gotta be careful for morons everyday.
this morning i'm waiting in the right lane on this 3-lane boulevard, red light turns green, i slowly shift into gear and start moving when HOLY SHIT a cube truck is coming toward me, turning left from the other direction. sometimes i feel like i have a blind spot in my left-side vision. still I love how he acts like what he did was totally a non-issue.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 01:01 PM   #3742
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Thing is, you Death Proofed the fucker, but that most certainly was NOT the safest option, especially with kids in the car. And now this fucker drove off, completely enraged with said kids in the car. Not great conditions to be driving under.

Much as it sucks, it's usually best to just give the dickhead the right of way.
I don't think you are really understanding that I was already accelerating on a 50 mph road at a major intersection in heavy traffic, I was ahead, and he starts coming directly over in my blind spot slightly behind and to the right. Sorry if that was unclear, but there is no way I could have slammed on my breaks without getting hit anymore than I could have swerved into another lane. I had no idea what he looked like or that he had kids in the car. It was 100% his doing and if he had collided with me I would have called the police and he would have been found to be at fault.

there was no "merging" going on, I think he was probably either on his phone or high (or just a truly truly stupid person) and believed his lane went straight when in fact it only turns right.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 01:04 PM   #3743
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I will concede that you were there and you may know the answer better than me, but: was it really best to speed up when he tried getting into your lane, knowing full well that he was probably doing the same?

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 01:05 PM   #3744
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He was behind and to the right of me. Are you suggesting that I should have slammed my breaks and allowed myself to be hit from behind and that would have been safer than gassing it to avoid a collision? Because that makes no sense. I was totally hemmed in from behind and from the left, there was nowhere for me to go. The thing is he wasn't even accelerating to get ahead of me. I have had plenty of people gas it from turn lanes to jump in front. That's not what this guy did. I really think he literally thought his lane went straight despite the double set of signs, the lines on the road, and the arrows painted on the blacktop.

I think he must have thought that I was merging into HIS lane and that he could force me back over. I'm really not sure to be honest it took an incredible amount of negligence on his part to pull this off unless he did it on purpose. I'm not sure which is more likely

Last edited by redbreegull : 09-28-2017 at 01:16 PM.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 01:25 PM   #3745
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here is a diagram. which one of us is which should be obvious. the bottom color-coded icons are our starting positions at the light, the top ones show our relative positions as he I attempted to drive across the lane line in the middle of the intersection (this is a major intersection as you can tell). the black Xs indicate the heavy traffic everywhere except in front of me (I was at front of the line of vehicles at the light)




I was not even aware that he was pulling this shit until he was coming down on top of me blaring his horn and screaming. I don't generally check to make sure traffic in a turn only lane isn't going to turn the opposite way and drive directly at me

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 01:48 PM   #3746
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You could always sell your cars for weed money and walk.

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:14 PM   #3747
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You could always sell your cars for weed money and walk.
my car is worth like maybe 5 grams

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:21 PM   #3748
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I just kept yelling, "WRONG LANE WRONG LANE"
very constructive, redbull. i bet the guy didn't realise this until you pointed it out to him, repeatedly.
two thumbs up!

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:25 PM   #3749
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very constructive, redbull. i bet the guy didn't realise this until you pointed it out to him, repeatedly.
two thumbs up!
honestly I still don't think he realizes it

 
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:46 PM   #3750
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u shud of yelled harder then

 
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